“We weren’t…we were just kissing. She’s over exaggerating.” I played with my straw in my drink thinking. If Capri hadn’t have come in when she did, we may have been… doing that. I don’t know.
“You’re blushing.” Lennon pointed at me and looking towards Capri who agreed, “So, have you?”
“Not yet.” I told her. She sat back and folded her arms over her chest watching me with her head tilted.
“Why?” she asked. I stopped playing with my straw and looked up at her. Why? I wracked my brain, but couldn’t come up with a good reason anymore. “He loves you, Kensie,” she said this time more sympathetically, “he’s not going anywhere. It’s okay to enjoy what you have with him.”
“I know you love him,” she said now and Capri awed next to me. I nodded my head and bit my lip. I did. I loved him, tremendously so. “I do.” I said quietly.
“You do what?” Lennon asked me smiling.
“I love August.” I said with more conviction.
Capri squealed next to me and leaned over wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “You guys deserve this.” She said before pulling away.
“But you haven’t told him yet.” Lennon stated as a fact and not a question. I nodded my head again, but couldn’t find words to explain why.
“Trust yourself, Kensie. You trust August enough to love him, so trust yourself enough to know that it’s okay.” I sucked in a quick breath and held it. Was that it? Was it myself I was having a hard time trusting and not August? How was I supposed to make sure that I was making the right choice in loving him? That’s just it though. Loving him wasn’t a choice. I didn’t wake up and decide to fall in love with August, but I did choose to constantly fight it. I didn’t trust myself.
“But what if he leaves me.” I said to them gripping my glass as if it held the ability to keep me together when I felt like I might fall apart.
“He’s not going to leave you, Kensie,” Capri said rubbing my shoulder, “You’re it for August.” She said then squealed making Lennon and I jump into one another. “You’re gonna be my sister in law.” She clapped her hands today excitedly. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t hide the smile the crept across my face. They were right. I needed to trust myself and let myself love August. I didn’t even really have a choice.
Chapter 18
Baking has never been a strength of mine. I once made my mom a birthday cake from scratch. After a couple of bites, she asked if there were sprinkles in it. Nope, egg shells. Sorry mom. I warned John that I wasn’t the best choice of employee to bake the cupcakes for the holiday party, but he insisted I would do fine.
I picked up August on my way over so he could help out and make sure I didn’t burn down the kitchen. I may or may not have bribed him with a bag of gummy bears.
We were just finishing up the frosting on the last batch of cupcakes when August walked over to my purse to pull out his bag of gummy bears. “See, you did fine. The kitchen is still standing and all the cupcakes appear to be edible.” He walked over and jumped up to sit on the counter next to me.
I put down the last cupcake and looked over my little masterpieces. I had gone with plain white frosting not wanting to get too adventurous. In my head I imagined a table covered in little edible snowballs with a fluff of frosting on each one. Looking across the counter I had cupcakes of all shapes and sizes. Some overflowing their paper cups, some not even reaching high enough for me to frost. The frosting was crusted all over the edges of the silver paper. Note to self, frost after they have cooled to avoid melting. My imagined fluff was smeared across the tops and dripping onto the counter tops. So maybe masterpiece was a little of an exaggeration.
“Maybe I should have gone with the brown frosting.” I contemplated and pointed my icing covered spatula at the cupcake.
“Kensie,” August said in between chews, “they’re perfect. Kids won’t care.” He was right I suppose. They wouldn’t care what they looked like. They were just happy to even be getting this party. With the center shutting down over the holidays, we decided at an employee meeting that we should give them a celebration to honor all their hard work over the semester. John had most of the food donated through a local catering company, as well as a DJ. My girls were really excited about that. We were using the tables and chairs at the center and spent a small amount of money on some decorations and tablecloths.
I put down my spatula and sighed wiping my hands on my apron. I hoped there weren’t any hidden sprinkles in them. “What are you eating?” I asked August and looked up at the exact moment he tilted his head back to pour the gummy bears into his mouth. “No!” I yelled at him causing him to jump and choke. He tilted leaned over his knees and coughed while I patted his back.
“What the heck, Kensie. You don’t yell at a man mid gummy chew.” He cleared his throat and poured a few more into his hands before popping them into his mouth. I watched as his mouth formed the perfect pout and began its slow circular motion. Little Red Gummy was teasing me in there I knew it. I felt my jaw loosen and breathing accelerate when he licked his lips mid chew leaving at a shiny gleam on them. “What are you …” August started to say, but stopped when he realized what I was gawking at. His puckered lips turned up at the corners and his chewing became slow and exaggerated. He threw his head back and moaned, “Mmmm.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and untied my apron from around my waist to throw at him. It pelted him in the face before landing on a few of my sad cupcakes. Oh well, no real loss there. “Knock it off.” I scolded him and picked up the apron to smooth out the damaged frosting.
“How long has this been going on?” He leaned back placing his elbows on the counter.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I turned around and busied myself with cleaning up my supplies.
“Oh, you know what I’m talking about.” He said, “How long have you been lusting over my gummy bear habit?”
“I’m not lusting,” I said and heard him jump off of the counter. “Your chewing is annoying.” I listened as he walked up behind me.
“It is, huh?” He asked much too close. He touched my arm and guided me to turn around toward him. I rolled my eyes when I looked at him still smirking at me.
“ Yes. It is.” I said and poked my finger into his chest.
“Is not.” He said and swiped his finger across my nose. The moment he touched it I smelled the scent of vanilla and felt the coolness of the frosting smear.
“No you didn’t.” I said and wiped the frosting off of my nose.
“I did.” He said and grinned at me. If I wasn’t so irritated by his chewing and my frosting nose, I would have felt my heart pitter pat and the sweetness in that grin. I reached back toward the bowl I had just placed by the sink and swooped up a glob of frosting. Still too proud of himself, August didn’t see it coming when my hand reached up and swiped the glob across his cheek.
His grin fell instantly and I couldn’t hold in my giggle. Before I could stop him August reached behind me simultaneously pinning me to the counter. He smeared a streak of frosting down the side of my face while I shrieked and laughed trying to wiggle free. What ensued was a frosting fight of epic proportions. We ran around the kitchen laughing and throwing globs of icing at each other. He hid behind the island when and I used a cookie sheet to repel his shots.
I thought I was sneaky when I faked left and dodged right, but really I was stupid. I slipped on a smear of icing on the floor and flailed for a few seconds trying to gain my balance before falling flat onto my back. I was still laughing lying on the frosting covered kitchen floor when August crawled over to me.
“Shit, Kensie,” he said, not laughing anymore. “Are you okay?” I slowed down my laughing and smiled at his handsome face with eyebrows pulled together in worry.
“Yeah, I’m fine. A bruised ego maybe, but fine.” He sighed and dropped his head onto my shoulder letting the rest of his body relax from where it hovered above me. I sucked in a sudden breath with the feel of his
weight suddenly covering me. That made him lift his head and look at me again.
“Hi.” He said lying on top of me with frosting speckled across his face and clumped up in his perfectly messy hair.
“Hi.” I smiled back up him feeling my heart swell at the same rate as my increased pulse.
“You have a little something here.” He said and leaned down kissing under my jaw. I reached up and wrapped my arms around him, “and here” he kissed a little lower onto my neck. I leaned my head back welcoming his lips, “and here” he kissed my chin and I sighed at the nearness of his lips to mine.
“You missed a spot.” I whispered when he pulled away too look at me again.
“ I did?” He looked around investigating my face and I laughed at his playfulness.
“I think I have some on my mouth.” I said and ran my tongue slowly across my bottom lip. “Yeah, there. I can taste it.” I whispered and watched his eyes grow wide when he inhaled a deep breath.
“I got it.” He said before crashing his lips down onto mine. I welcomed his kiss and let his tongue swipe across mine immediately. He tasted like cherry and vanilla. I let my legs fall apart so he could fit in between. We groaned together when he settled against me and I couldn’t control my hips when they rolled up toward his. I slid my hand up the back of his shirt and gripped his back when his hips began to mimic the motion of his tongue within my mouth.
“Hmhmmph.” A voice cleared from directly above us and we froze mid hip thrust and lip locked. “If you get her pregnant on my kitchen floor, you’re dead.” John’s voice was stern. August nearly leapt off of me back onto his feet. He reached down for my hand to help me stand up, but didn’t take his startled eyes off John who was standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest.
“You hurt her, I kill you. We clear?” John said to August who nodded his head. I covered my mouth to hold in the laugh that wanted to escape and watched John turn to walk out the door, but not before winking at me.
“I think I heard you gulp,” I said to August. He breathed out a sigh of relief and hung his head letting out a low, frustrated chuckle.
* * *
I look like a nineties grunge rock hooker. At practice earlier in the week I didn’t expect the harmless bet I made to end with me in baggy boyfriend jeans, a plaid lumber jack looking button down wrapped around my wait, and a crop top that might as well have just been my bra. This was not good.
“I can’t believe I let you guys talk me into this,” I said coughing into a cloud of hairspray Mia was spraying on my teased hair.
“You made the bet Ms. Kensie.” Gabby pointed out while smearing on her mocha colored lipstick. God, she was right. I made the bet. When they spent nearly half the class completely distracted by the boys in the gym, I came up with the not so brilliant idea of making them a bet. I was desperate to regain control over the practice that had been sabotaged by the basketball game August set up. When the girls weren’t stumbling over each other mid dance to peek of the classroom door they were making ridiculous excuses to leave the classroom. My favorite was when Mia told me she heard her car alarm going off. “Mia, you’re fourteen. You don’t have a car. You don’t even drive.” I had clarified for her before she pouted at me and stomped away.
I told the girls that if they couldn’t keep away from the boys all practice, I got to hand pick all of their outfits for the holiday party. The look of sheer horror on their faces should have been enough, but then to make it extra painful I described in detail what I had in mind. Tapered legged jeans and “sensible” t-shirts made them groan, but when I mentioned cardigans and a stylish pair of Keds, I swear I saw Gabby gag.
As a fair betting woman I allowed them to come up with what I would do if they did in fact keep clear of the boys. I was so sure that there would be no way they could resist the young men, that I agreed to perform with them at the party, and wear what they chose.
So now, here I was dressed like a Nirvana groupie and waiting with the girls to perform the dance they had been practicing for the last few days. I was making myself sick with worry just thinking about it. “I didn’t realize part of the bet included,” I waved my hand around myself, “all this.”
“Well, yeah.” Gabby looked back at me over her shoulder waving her mascara wand at me, “All that is called performance attire.” Wow, she named it and everything. She had one thing wrong though. I don’t perform. I never did. Performing insinuated pretending. I danced the truth. Whatever I felt, I put it into what I danced. So tonight, I had to find some piece of myself that was a little nineties grunge rock skank and let my truth be told.
“You know there was money in the budget for whole t-shirts right?” I asked her and tugged my shirt down. It was no use.
“Ms. Kensie,” Gabby put her mascara back in her make-up bag and walked towards me. “I’m disappointed in you.” She stopped in front of me and crossed her arms over her chest. Mia and Jasmine came up and flanked her on either side mimicking her stance.
“Why, what did I do?” I asked looking around them at myself in the mirror. What on earth did they do to my hair?
“You aren’t looking very sexy right now.” She said and popped her hip to the side.
“No, no you’re right Gabby. I’m not looking sexy at all. I’m looking trashy.” My voice rose, but the girls remained unaffected.
“You taught us that who we are is what makes us sexy.” Jasmine piped up.
“Yes, that’s right, and you are three brilliant and beautiful girls who don’t need to dress half naked to prove it.”
“We aren’t trying to prove anything Ms. Kensie. We don’t have too. These are just costumes.” Mia said opening her arms up passionately. “We don’t let what other people think of what we wear, or how we act influence how we feel about ourselves. You taught us that. You taught us that we are brilliant and beautiful no matter what.”
I was so touched that they had taken all of the pep talks I had given them to heart. I didn’t just teach them how to dance; I also helped guide them into being self-respecting women. I was so proud of them, and a little proud of myself too.
“Come here,” I opened my arms and motioned for all three to come in for a group hug. When we all circled up and held each other in love and support and all our womanly bad assed-ness I whispered between tears, “I’m so, so proud of you.”
I felt the pitter patter of their hands patting my back. “Good luck, Ms. Kensie,” Mia said to me. “Who needs luck, when I’ve got you girls.” I told them and pulled away. All their uptight, prima donna, hormone-parading moments were forgotten to this one sweet moment right here.
Chapter 19
August
Sitting next Jordan I scanned the gym bouncing my legs. I hadn’t seen John since that afternoon, but I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to me. To say he caught me ready to rip Kensie’s clothes off would be an understatement. I didn’t even care that we were in the middle of a frosting covered kitchen at work. I would have taken her right then and there. I was trying really hard to be patient, really hard. I knew she wasn’t ready, and a part of me knew it wasn’t right to be with her when she didn’t know everything. The other part of me, specifically the one in my pants, couldn’t behave around her and was growing really impatient with me.
“The girls are gonna look so hot,” Jordan said next to me and stuck out his fist at me. I shoved it away.
“Dude.” I said, and raised an eyebrow at him. He shrugged his shoulders at me and moved his baseball hat so the bill was behind his head.
“Don’t act like you ain’t excited to see Ms. Kensie in the outfit Gabs picked out.”
“What outfit?” I asked him and he nodded up to the make shift stage in the middle of the court the guys had helped me set up the day before.
I hissed in a breath and felt Jordan nudge my arm, but I was too paralyzed by what I saw. She looked so damn hot. Her flat stomach was completely bare, and perfect. Her brown hair was messy. Messy like she just got o
ut of bed, or just rolled around in bed, oh hell… Kensie had freshly fucked hair. I felt my pants getting tighter. Kensie had freshly fucked hair and she focused on me with her big brown eyes. She smiled slightly and her lips puckered to the side while she nibbled the inside of her cheek. Yep, pants were tight. Kensie with freshly fucked hair, nibbling, puckering, fuck me.
I cleared my throat and wiggled in my seat trying to adjust myself nondescriptly. Thankfully all the kids were watching the stage waiting for the dance to start. I scanned back up to the stage when I caught him glaring at me. Fuck, John was glaring death lasers at me. He pointed two of his fingers at his eyes and back towards me letting me know he was ‘watching me’. Great. He probably saw my tight pants.
I looked back up to Kensie and caught her smile just before she turned around. My heart stuttered. God, she was beautiful. I remember the first time I saw her walk into Wes’s shop. I flinched when I saw her come through the front doors with the sun shining behind her highlighting her petite frame and long hair. She was the light in my otherwise dark day. Wes thought I was in pain from the tat and stopped to tease me, but he followed my stare and smirked at what had captivated me before pounding me on the back where he was working. Dipshit.
She was so cute and determined looking at the pieces hanging up on the wall. She had a scowl on her beautiful face that said she had no clue what she was doing there, but she was going to figure it out. I think I fell on love with that part of her right then.
I was used to the way her eyes scanned me when she first noticed I was there. I had seen it plenty of times before with other girls, but they usually looked at me, inviting me to make a move. Kensie looked hesitant, and caught off guard. The vulnerability that slipped through peaked my interest. It should have scared me off, but it didn’t.
When she quickly shoved it back down, and put on her brave face again, I had to know her, but it didn’t feel right, wanting to hit on a chick that day. I wasn’t there to pick up on a girl, so I let her run out of the shop, but smiled watching her the whole way.
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