A smile wrinkled the corners of his eyes, but it dropped a moment later. “Hayden, you and Asher—”
“We aren’t together, Cole.” She had hoped they could have avoided this, but she could sense Cole’s determination to get to the bottom of it. Hayden tried to tug her hand back, but he kept his grip firm. “I should say, we aren’t together romantically, not like that.”
For a second, he seemed to lose all his power and authority, looking painfully like the young man of twenty-five that he really was. It was gone a moment later, the brief slip of control seemingly reinforcing his barriers.
“If that’s true, then why did you feel the need to sneak off with him?” Unforgiving eyes fastened and held Hayden’s gaze, sending an intimidating thrill down her back.
“Because you would act like this.” She straightened her shoulders as much as her modesty would allow her. “Asher is the only werewolf outside the pack who approached me. He’s not afraid to get close to Nicolas’ claim. He and I are just friends.” She made sure to stress the word friends, or he would continue to come up with the wrong assumptions.
Truthfully, Asher really was just a friend. While there was a small attraction, Hayden had never acted on it. An unconscious obstacle had always held her back, or more specifically, a particular someone was holding her back. Asher seemed to respect the distance Hayden put up, for he hadn’t seemed inclined to make a move either.
Cole’s eyebrows shot up and he gave a bark-like laugh. “Friends? With Asher, there is no such thing as simple friends. He always wants something, something that will be a benefit for him.”
It was hard to see how Cole and Asher could have been friends in the past. A part of Hayden thought being with Asher was like being with a Cole who wasn’t hardened by the tragedy of his parents’ death. It was almost unfair to Asher when Hayden thought like that, but the comparison always came to her subconsciously.
“You don’t trust me,” she pointed out, noticing the hardening around his mouth.
The wind whistled shrilly in her ears as it rushed and circled around them. Unsettling groans came from the swaying trees around them, a sign of unruly weather approaching. Goose bumps prickled across her skin, a sense of dread settling in her stomach. She looked around her surroundings, having the curious sensation of being watched.
“I don’t trust Asher,” Cole corrected, snagging her attention once again. “But I can understand where you’re coming from. He does have an unmistakable talent of turning a blind eye to serious issues, and making light of situations that require total attention.”
Ignoring the insult aimed at Asher, Hayden lifted a hopeful eyebrow. “Does that mean you’ll allow me to meet with Asher?”
Cole hardly looked impressed and countered Hayden’s hopeful question with unquestionable authority. “No.” He dropped her wrist. “It means there will be no consequences for your disobedience tonight, but it also means I will be keeping an extra eye on you and him.”
“Not like I was going anywhere, anyway.” Hayden clenched her jaw at his pigheadedness. “With the murder of the human and all…” she trailed off, her face palling as she vividly remembered the corpse in the alleyway. “Do you think we’ll catch whoever did this?”
He already reassured her that he didn’t think Hayden had anything to do with it. He also seemed firm in his belief that someone was framing her. Hayden didn’t dare ask him if he believed Nicolas was in the bowling alley. Even now, away from the ridicule of the other Alphas, Hayden didn’t know what she had seen.
Cole arched his throat in order to look at the sky above, a gesture that showed he trusted Hayden enough to bare his neck to her. “We’ll catch him,” he reassured, though his tone was unfriendly.
Suddenly, the Alpha lowered his head and deeply considered Hayden for a moment. His arm muscles flexed as he braced closer to her, gently taking captive of her face. With surprising tenderness, his thumbs brushed across her cheekbones as he arched her face nearer to his own.
Warm breath ghosted across her lips as he leaned in closer, his proximity causing her pulse to spike before thumping uncontrollably. With raw-like affection, he began to nuzzle her slowly, affectionately.
With his cheek still against hers, his hand released her face and smoothed down her hair before traveling across her exposed shoulder. A heavy palm settled possessively against her bare back, causing her skin to warm around his touch. He tugged her small frame against his broad chest, cradling her protectively in his embrace.
The intimacy took Hayden off-guard and she did all she could to keep her face neutral. Her breathing grew ragged and her face was hot from his consuming masculinity. She was painfully aware of their close, nude forms.
An internal battle was taking precedence in her mind, weighing the options of either pressing closer to him or rearing backward. Deciding on the middle ground, Hayden’s trembling hand pressed tentatively against his taunt stomach, his abdominal muscles tensing pleasantly beneath her touch.
His chest rumbled in a pleased growl, sounding almost like a satisfied purr. “We’re in this together, Hayden. No one will hurt you again, I promise that.”
With agonized slowness, Cole pulled away just far enough to look down at Hayden. His dilated eyes obsessively traced her features. However, as if suddenly coming out of a daydream, his eyebrows furrowed and he stiffened, appearing to mentally struggle with himself. Before Hayden could fully register it, Cole reared away from her.
It was astounding how fast he could turn her body hot with his touch to unbearably cold with his rejection. Hayden curled in on herself, betrayed, discarded, and finding it difficult to breathe. Through widened eyes, she watched as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair.
“We need to head back, Hayden. The pack will begin to worry.”
Amber eyes narrowed when she noticed the signs of the imminent morphing rippling across Cole’s body. She inhaled sharply, determined, and reached out to grab his elbow before he could run. She was tired of his running and insulted at the way he led her on before turning a cold shoulder. She had more pride than that.
Pretending as if her body wasn’t trembling like a leaf, Hayden lifted her chin superiorly and caught Cole’s questioning glance. “Besides werewolf traditions, keeping up appearances, and male pride…”
A part of her wanted to stop, to tell him to forget what she had to say. Rejections were painful, as she had a premonition that it was waiting for her, but she had to know.
“Besides all that,” she continued, looking him in the eye. “Is there any other reason why you want me to stay away from Asher?”
Is there something between us?
It was a clear enough question and Hayden knew Cole was smart enough to read between the lines. She couldn’t have made it anymore clearer.
Unexpectedly, or expectedly, Cole’s lips thinned at the question and his eyes hardened. “No Hayden.” The words hurt. He had no idea. “You’re a member of my pack. Your safety is all that matters.” He seemed to hesitate before he squeezed her hand and morphed into his wolf.
She would eventually need to follow him, but the freezing sting of rejection made it hard to push herself into action. Even when she had prepared herself for the answer, it still came as a blow.
She didn’t know why she had even bothered. Cole would never grow an attachment to someone, not after his father’s suicide. He would rather grow a barrier around himself than ever allow someone in.
Anger swiftly replaced her shock, not from the rejection, but from something else entirely. She had believed Cole was a man of action, someone who confronted his fears and conflicts head on. When it came down to this particular issue, Cole was nothing but a coward.
She needed to accept that Cole would never return her affection. And she would especially make sure that he never led her on like that again.
12. Chapter Twelve
A yellow and toothy grin greeted her as soon as she escaped from the shower. Dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers a
nd an oversized shirt, Hayden leaned her hip against the doorframe to her room, finding it hard to fight the grin.
Fergus was sprawled out on her bed with his head hanging off the side. Unfortunately, his body was rotated the wrong way on the mattress and his naked toes were wiggling on her pillow.
“Hayden,” he greeted calmly.
“Fergus,” she answered, mirroring his casual tone. “Mind telling me why you decided to sneak into my room and put your toes on my pillow?”
It was late and she had planned to go to sleep, but she would make time for him. She had noticed his hovering last night and all day today. He was never inclined to say anything to her; he only seemed to want to keep her company.
He pressed his lips together, giving the impression of false consideration. “You need me,” he responded, suddenly becoming serious. “You’re not feeling well. I mean something is bothering you.”
She frowned, somehow not surprised he’d noticed her disheartened mood. For as long as she’d known Fergus, the lanky twin always had the unique trait of being able to discern the mood of his pack members. He had lingered around Blake when the beta was downcast about the rogue attack, cheering him up ultimately. And just a few weeks ago, he had stuck close to Devan, attempting to get her to see the bright side of things.
Hayden hadn’t known she was broadcasting her feelings to the rest of the pack. Sure, she’d been avoiding Cole just as he was avoiding her, but she thought she was still interacting normally with the rest of the pack. Apparently, Fergus was able to see underneath it.
“It’s nothing,” she denied. At his disappointed face, Hayden instantly felt guilty. “It’s just an issue with Cole, which isn’t new. I’d rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.”
She didn’t want to hear excuses for Cole’s behavior, she didn’t want to admit that she had actually wanted something between them, and she definitely didn’t want to acknowledge last night’s events. It was easier if she could pretend like nothing had happened, especially considering how humiliating it had been for her.
Instead of making an effort to leave, Fergus settled more comfortably on the bed, digging his heels into her pillow. “That’s all right. We can talk about something else then.” Turquoise eyes searched her room, seeming dissatisfied.
“You need some more personal effects in here. Even Cole had more character in here when it was his room. It looks like you’re ready to leave and haven’t considered this home at all.” His eyes then rotated around to look at her. “I have a few Star Wars posters in my room if you’d like any.”
Hayden glowered in her silence, musing on his comment. Her immediate reaction was to refuse his offer, but his hopeful face was too much. “If you have any Darth Vader posters, I won’t mind taking them off your hands.”
Fergus seemed genuinely surprised and delighted at her response. It was enough to warrant another yellow-toothed grin. “I know just the ones.” The twin rolled his head back on the mattress. “I hope you aren’t uncomfortable around me, with what happened to Nathan and Devan.”
His out-of-the-blue statement took her off-guard. “Why would I be uncomfortable around you?” She pushed off from the doorframe and approached his sprawled out form. Plopping down ungracefully on the bed, Hayden leaned her back against Fergus’ propped-up legs. “I don’t think I could ever be uncomfortable around you.”
“Nathan asked Cole for a mate. I didn’t want you to think I was going to ask next.” He deliberated his words. “Not that I don’t think you would be a good mate—”
“I know what you’re trying to say,” she interrupted his awkward ramblings. “And I think I have a general sense that you and Nathan aren’t the same person. I wouldn’t discriminate against you for something Nathan did.” Sometimes she wondered how Nathan and Fergus were related; they were both on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Fergus threw an arm across her lap and curled closer to her. “You may not think so now, but Nathan is a decent person. He may appear callous and unfeeling, but his love is plentiful once you get to know him. Or, rather, once he gets to know you.” He paused. “You know, a lot of Nathan’s standoffish behavior has to do with how we grew up. He was born a werewolf whereas I was born a human.”
Hayden made a disbelieving sound in her throat. “But you’re twins,” she pointed out stupidly. “How could he be born a werewolf and you weren’t? That’s… it seems impossible.”
“We were a rarity.” He nodded solemnly, agreeing. “A Purebred werewolf stops aging at their prime, and a human continues to age throughout the years. Our different biology caused a rift between Nathan and me, especially as we grew older. He thought lycanthropy was a curse. Even if I would grow old, and he would stay young, he still refused to Sire me, afraid I wouldn’t survive the bite.”
Hayden could only imagine how Nathan and Fergus might feel to have a twin rooted in an entirely different world. She could understand Nathan’s hesitation in Siring Fergus, but she could also see why Fergus would want to be closer to his twin.
“Were you the only human in the family?” she asked curiously.
“No.” Fergus gave a light laugh. “My mother was a werewolf but my father was human.”
There was a tense silence. Hayden figured Fergus wasn’t one to babble about his past when he wasn’t asked about it, but she was curious and he seemed comfortable enough to share. “Then what changed? You said Nathan didn’t want to Sire you, but obviously someone did.”
Fergus waved a disinterested hand. “My mother tried to turn my father into a werewolf and he didn’t survive the transformation. She disappeared after that and we haven’t seen her since. My father’s death just reinforced my brother’s decision not to turn me, but we grew even closer after my mother’s disappearance.
“Nathan seemed to make it his responsibility to take care of me, despite the fact we were living with our relatives. When I turned twenty-four, our relationship began to strain. He left when his physical appearance stopped aging and he tried to distance himself from me.”
“I bet that was hard on both of you,” Hayden observed. She stroked his hair lightly, a gesture meant to console.
Fergus grunted in agreement. He was staring at the ceiling, his eyes haunted, but his expression neutral. “He stayed away for two years, but because of the strong bond we established since childhood, we couldn’t stay apart for very long. He eventually came back and reluctantly agreed to Sire me. After which, we found shelter with Xavier Slayter’s pack. We’ve been here ever since.”
“He still feels guilty for Siring you,” Hayden perceived. “Even though you survived the transformation, he still thinks he ruined the life you could have had.”
“Of course.” Fergus suddenly sat up, leaning closer to Hayden. “But I never gave up on him. He had a good reason not to Sire me, a valid fear, one I could understand. I could never get angry with him because he just wanted to protect me. Eventually, my patience and my determination to stick by him convinced him that his fears weren’t necessarily justified.”
Hayden stilled, her eyes narrowing on the twin. “That’s not funny, Fergus.” She stood up from her bed and approached the door. “You told me that story just to draw parallels between Nathan and Cole. You have a right to your own opinion, but don’t force it on me.”
Fergus pressed his lips together and studied her. “You’re pretty smart.”
She opened the door, waiting for him to leave. “And you aren’t exactly subtle.”
The lanky twin unfolded his tall frame from the bed and approached her. With a sure hand, he shut the door again and leaned closer to Hayden. “I’m not trying to manipulate you into thinking anything you don’t want to think, Hayden. I just want you to know that Cole has his own reasons for doing what he does. He doesn’t mean to hurt you, he’s trying to protect you—”
“Protect himself,” Hayden corrected, clenching her fists at her side. “I get it,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “I get why he’s decided to c
lose himself up to any sort of attachment. At first, I thought he was a coward for doing it, and maybe he is, but I’ve come to accept his reasons. But what I can’t accept is how he leads me on like a fool and discards me afterward. It humiliates me. It’s not right.”
Fergus bowed his head, his eyes troubled as he stared at the floor. He reached out and cupped her shoulder with a heavy and warm hand.
“No, it’s not right, Hayden.” His eyes were concerned as they peered into her stubborn mask of resolve. “I didn’t know he led you on. I had no idea. You’re right.” The hand tightened on her shoulder. “But no matter how much he may have hurt you, I can assure you that it wasn’t his intentions to cause you any pain. He loves each and every one of us and he’d do anything to protect us.”
Her expression softened. Fergus was blameless in this situation. She couldn’t be mad at him, especially when his purposes were so pure. He had a calming presence and he truly did want harmony amongst the pack. He wasn’t taking sides; he was only trying to make her feel better.
“I can talk to Cole,” he offered honorably.
“No.” The idea seemed alarming to her. “I’d rather just forget anything happened. We’ll eventually put this aside and go back to the way things were. It’s better this way anyway.” Somehow, she convinced herself that it really was better that she didn’t act on her feelings for Cole. She was in his pack now, initiating a romance probably wouldn’t end well.
He seemed uncertain, but eventually nodded his consent. “If you’re sure.” Giving her shoulder one last reassuring squeeze, he reached for the handle to the door.
Hayden reached out and covered the handle, preventing him from leaving. “What was he like before his parents’ death?” The question came from her mouth before she had time to censor it. It had always been a burning question she’d had, especially since she started interacting with Asher.
Fergus blinked, offering a gentle smile. “He was happy, carefree. I’m hesitant to say immature, but I think it had a lot to do with his youth. He really enjoyed hunting with his father and he loved his pack unconditionally, like he does now, but he wasn’t afraid of expressing it. But he also wasn’t an Alpha then, and he didn’t consider our protection as his one and only duty. Becoming an Alpha definitely changes a wolf, and I actually think you would prefer this version of Cole to the old one.” He grinned at her deep consideration. “I’ll go get your Star Wars posters.”
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