by Kuhn, Steve
I was met with a familiar voice that replied, “Dext? Dext Baxter? Well, I’ll be damned! I figured you’d be dead by now.”
I’ll tell you all about that later, but right now, I’m gonna get reacquainted with an old friend and get some sleep. We leave in the morning… With or without Murphy remains to be seen. Either way, we’ll be running once again.
Entry 59
Jon Muthafuckin’ Campbell! Remember him? We ran together for about a week before he slipped off in the middle of the night. We always headed west, and from what he’s told us, he continued to do so even after we parted ways.
He’s been following the signs just like we have, and apparently he’s been right on our tails for days now. So what brought him to this house? Rebecca’s gunshot! This is really, really good news.
JC is nothin’ to fuck with. He’s a fairly unassuming guy appearance-wise: white, mid-thirties… a jeans and tee-shirt sorta dude, but what he lacks in physique, he more than makes up for with ferocity and killer instinct—a very sharp guy.
After we had our little reunion, Cutty asked him, “Why you slip out on Dext any damn way? Ya know stayin’ wit’ groups is best if ya can.”
JC answered him bluntly with, “I got tired of bailing him out. A few weeks ago, Dext couldn’t find his own dick with both hands.”
He was right, though. I’m still more lucky than good. JC continued as he gestured at Cutty’s machetes, “I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talkin’ about.”
Cutty got my back and said, “Dext done got us outta mo’ than one jam… E’erybody pull dey weight ‘round here.”
JC just smirked and slapped me on the back, saying, “Then I guess he’s come a long way in a short time.”
Wyatt remarked, “Haven’t we all?”
Rebecca and Trey disappeared into the den after introductions were made, so JC was like, “What’s with Romeo and Juliet over there?”
To which Kylee replied sarcastically, “They can’t get their heads out of each other’s asses for five minutes. I wish they would stop pretending that no one knows they’re fuckin’ each other and get it over with.”
Wyatt chimed in with, “Rawr,” mocking a cat fight.
Cutty chided Kylee, saying, “Hey, dey ain’t fuckin’… Dey just like each other. Dat’s it.”
She snorted derisively.
Cutty’s gonna need to sort that shit out eventually. If he doesn’t, Kylee’s gonna do it for him, and it won’t be pretty.
JC laid out his small arsenal on the table and began breaking down his own pistol. He whistled merrily as he broke out his cleaning kit and meticulously scrubbed here and brushed there, oiling this and that. It was quite a sight, to be honest. He had it cleaned, reassembled, and reloaded inside of five minutes.
Kylee watched him closely, biting her lip slightly. Murphy watched Kylee and wisely suggested, “I wish you would just stop pretendin’ that no one knows you’re gonna fuck him and get it over with.”
Kylee was clearly called out, and she blushed furiously.
JC raised his eyebrows and looked across the table to Kylee in an ‘Oh really?’ sorta way.
She tried to shrug it off, but failed miserably. It’s hard as shit to scowl at someone when you’re wearing an eyepatch, but she managed to shoot one at Murphy. I don’t exactly know how this is gonna play out, but it’ll be interesting nonetheless.
Murphy clapped his hands together and said, “Anyway, I suppose y’all are takin’ off in the mornin’. Better get some sleep. I’ll see to it you have some fuel to be on your way. I’m turnin’ in for the night.”
JC chuckled and shook his head, saying, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you…”
Murphy, Cutty, Wyatt, and Kylee all asked, “Why not?” simultaneously.
He answered them, saying, “We’re leaving tonight—all of us.”
Murphy laughed outright and said, “Oh, you don’t understand… I’m staying here. This is my place.”
JC tut-tutted and said, “Not anymore it ain’t.” He gestured to the door and continued, “There’s about two hundred and fifty stinks headin’ your way from the west side of the city that say otherwise. By morning, this place’ll be crawling with them, and I’m pretty sure you don’t have enough traps out there for that many, hehe… I assume that’s what those traps were for, right? Only a stink would be stupid enough to get caught by one of those things.”
Cutty leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I think he jus’ called me stupid.”
I just patted his shoulder.
Wyatt asked him, “How’d you manage to get this far alone anyway?”
JC sized Wyatt up and told him, “I took two of those stinky fuckers and cut their arms and jaws off so they couldn’t get at me. I chained them to myself… Then I drug them along with me to mask my smell and whatnot.”
Everyone’s mouth hung open in silent awe as JC told his tale. “Pffffft…” He broke out laughing. “Haha… I’m just fucking with ya. Do I look like some sort of comic book hero or some shit? That would be retarded! Man, you guys are gullible. Let’s be realistic here… This ain’t pretend land. I did a lot of shooting and a lot of running, just like you guys…” He shot a glance at Kylee, adding, “And girls.”
Wyatt smiled at the joke, and Kylee blushed again. Good to see a smile out of the kid.
Murphy wasn’t too pleased about leaving, but he gathered some things and packed himself a bag. He also brought up some stuff from the basement that we didn’t know he had. A nice compound bow and a shitload of arrows were among them. He winked at me and said, “I had to do somethin’ with all the Goddamn trees I cut down,” before he stalked out to his pickup truck mumbling something to Fart, who hadn’t left his side.
We’re outta here.
Entry 60
Driving in the middle of the night is one of the creepiest things to do in the current landscape. For starters, you have to go much slower than during the day because the roads are never cleared properly. There’s usually a path of some sort cut through the abandoned vehicles, but you can never be 100 percent sure. It’s even more difficult when you’re traveling with multiple vehicles, because you have to maintain contact via hand and light signals for piss breaks and in case of any mechanical failures. Everything is amplified with the exception of light—anxiety, fear… just everything. It’s a real bitch.
The jeep blew a tire a few miles back from what we can only assume was debris from one of the many wrecks we’ve passed. In an effort to avoid having to switch vehicles altogether and all the shit that comes with it (unloading, reloading, fuel concerns, etc.), we opted to just put the spare tire on and keep going.
It was a relatively mundane affair with JC and Kylee taking watch and Cutty and I doing the tire swap. My hands were shaking so bad from nerves that I thought I wasn’t going to be able to get it done. Luckily, JC’s comment about me being a bit of a flounder kept me motivated to prove him wrong. Once the tire switch was done and we had about forty miles between us and Murphy’s shack, we pulled over once more to discuss a camp. It turned into a mess.
Wyatt was backing the camping idea, saying, “I’m hungry… like, really hungry. We should settle in and make some food. There’s plenty of us to keep watch.”
JC chuckled and told him, “You sound like a spoiled brat, kid. I haven’t eaten in two days, and you don’t see me whining about it.”
Rebecca came to Wyatt’s defense with, “C’mon, go easy. We haven’t had the best time here lately…”
JC cut her off, quipping, “Awwww… you, too? Man, you all are some pussies. You think anyone has had an easy time? Fuckin’ hell! We need to keep moving, period.”
Trey jumped in, asking, “Who died and made you king shit o’ turd mountain?”
To which JC smirked and arrogantly quipped, “Just about everyone died, and I made myself king. You got a problem with that?”
I opted to sit this one out and just check on the dynamics here. I saw no reason to chime in and add fuel t
o the fire, but I also felt it necessary to see where everyone was at mentally. The last confrontation we had didn’t exactly go well, ya know?
Trey swelled up and went nose to nose with JC, threatening, “Yeah, I do have a problem. Matter of fact, why the fuck are you even here?”
JC didn’t even bother flinching. In fact, he just gave Trey a smile and held out his arms like ‘make your move.’
Murphy hopped down from the bed of his pickup where he was idly leaning over the cab’s roof watching and snapped, “All right, you two, knock that shit off! We got bigger fish to fry.”
Fart jumped over the side as well and stayed calmly at Murphy’s side as he approached us. Kylee and Cutty stepped aside and made room for them, Kylee saying, “Agreed, this is stupid. Jon’s right… We should keep moving.”
I hate the way she insists on calling him ‘Jon.’ So transparent.
Anyway, Murphy continued, saying, “Let’s split the difference. We’ll take a quick break here, grab some grub… JC included, seeing as how he ain’t eaten in a coupla days… but we don’t stick around after. Everybody wins.”
Cutty agreed, “Soun’ a’ight by me. Y’all okay wit’ dat?”
Trey and JC, still staring each other down, said nothing at first, but JC relented slightly, finally saying, “Good enough.” I guess his own growling stomach got the best of him.
So we managed to get a fire going with Trey’s help, a small one anyway, and we were all sorta sittin’ around eating quietly. I just noticed something about Rebecca that’s probably going to make Cutty less than happy. Remember that ‘1’ she had burned into her wrist from Cholo? Well, now it’s a ‘T.’ I’m not reall—Wait! Fart just started growling into the darkness. Hang on; somethin’s up.
Hmm… possibly the break we’ve been looking for. Obviously, everyone’s first suspicions were that we had deadheads incoming, but that’s not it at all. In fact, it’s headlights in the distance… headed our way… and coming from the west.
Entry 61
There are people in this world that have a way of being blissfully ignorant. You know them… the ‘grass is always greener’ people… the ‘silver lining’ people. In a way, I envy them. As much as I am aware and open-minded, or at least I like to think I am, I can’t help but to wish sometimes that my spirits were that tempered and sure. I’ve always been the realist, ya know? Not necessarily a pessimist, but most certainly a cynic… a cynic with a sense of humor.
The headlights grew slowly in the darkness as they approached, and we had to figure out how we were gonna handle this. It could be salvation, indeed, but the realist in me reminded me that they could also be the Haven all over again. We’re all wary of outsiders now, as evidenced by Trey and JC at each other’s throats. Hell, even Fart still gives us an uncomfortable look from time to time.
Murphy hastily stomped out the fire and told Wyatt to go turn off the lights of the truck while Rebecca did the same in the jeep. “We’re gonna have to see what’s what with them people up there, but we don’t have to advertise,” Murphy said to us all.
Trey replied, “Yeah, but it’s only one vehicle as far as I can tell. I’m sure we could take them if we had to.”
Cutty nodded his agreement, but added, “True dat, but I ain’t tryna get into no scrap wit’ e’erybody dat come along, man.” He coughed sarcastically and gestured to JC.
Wyatt got the joke and snorted a laugh.
Kylee left her rifle in the truck, since she still couldn’t use it because of her accident, and instead opted for her sidearm. She drew it and said, “We’re too exposed here. We should split up.”
JC said, “My thoughts exactly. We should have a few of us feel out the situation and keep the others off in the darkness… in case there’s trouble.”
I reminded them that the last time we met a group on the road, I almost got shot in the fucking face, so I was gonna be on the backup team this time. Wyatt and Cutty took a moment to bust my balls about how shitty of a job I did meeting Tyler and to advise JC that it’s a bad idea to do shit like that alone.
A brief discussion led to JC, Kylee, and Cutty staying on the road to meet our strangers and the rest of us staying off the road behind the jeep. I felt all right with that because, even though we’d be in the dark, I was confident Fart would let us know if we had anymore unexpected company.
Trey encouraged everyone to check their gear and make sure we were ready for the worst. Rebecca suggested, “JC should have a rifle… That gun he has isn’t exactly intimidating.”
JC scoffed and opened up his duffle bag. He pulled out one of the sickest rifles I’ve ever seen and hefted it comfortably. Wyatt and Kylee’s eyes got wide, and Wyatt asked, “What is that?”
Kylee jumped in and added, “It looks like an AR-15 on steroids!”
JC winked like the cocky prick that he is and told us, “This is a bear… and you’re right… it is an AR-15 on steroids. I love this gun more than anything in the world. You can beat the fuck out this thing, sink it in quicksand, pull it back out with a bulldozer, and it’ll still fire like it’s brand new. It’s like a fuckin’ unicorn that farts rainbows and shits ice-cream sundaes.”
Kylee chuckled slightly and said, “Well, you’ll have to let me handle it sometime…”
JC smirked and said, “It might be too much weapon for you, but maybe we can arrange that.”
Seriously? Were we in fucking high school again? The incessant flirting between these two on top of Trey and Rebecca made me wanna barf.
Cutty drew his machetes, and JC shook his head disapprovingly. “Never bring a knife to a gunfight…”
Cutty hefted his blades and said, “Hard ta shoot somebody when you ain’t got no arms.”
JC reminded Cutty, “Yeah, well, hard to cut off somebody’s arms when you’re aerated from a hundred and fifty yards out.”
Cutty frowned deeply, and I knew exactly why. He had forgotten about Junior. Junior always had Cutty’s back from a distance. Without Junior, I think Cutty had just realized he wasn’t as invincible as he once was. Damn, man… Junior.
The vehicle made its final approach, and I was elated to see it was a military Humvee. They flashed their lights and came to a stop just a few feet away from Kylee, JC, and Cutty. The headlights flooded the roadside and the tree line, lighting up the entire area.
Fart stood guard, sniffing the air as Murphy held her collar tightly. He stroked her sides to keep her calm and quiet. We remained hunkered down, but I peeked through the rear window of the jeep to see what was happening.
Three men exited the vehicle armed to the teeth and waved a hello at our visible crew. The oldest of the men, in his late forties, spoke up to the others saying, “See that, brothers? I told you we’d find them!” He seemed excited to see our three people and immediately moved in to hug Cutty like he knew him or some shit. It was weird.
Cutty backed up and raised his blade, which led to JC shouldering his bear and pressing the barrel to the stranger’s chest. The man immediately backed away and put up his hands in a friendly gesture. One of the other men spoke, saying, “Indeed, it is true! Once again, we have not been led astray, brother.”
Da fuck?
Kylee asked them, “How did you know we’d be here? Who are you with? Are you guys soldiers with the unit up ahead?”
Their main guy answered her with, “He said you would be here, and here you are! This is a glorious day for all of us! Can’t you feel it?”
JC pressed him, asking, “Who said we’d be here?”
The stranger looked to the sky and said, “God, of course! Our Lord and Savior brought us to you.”
Wyatt looked up at me and mouthed the words, “What the fuck?”
I shrugged him off and kept watching.
The second guy continued where the first left off, saying, “It is true, brothers and sister… Our path was guided after the fall of Satan’s minions to the west.”
Kylee rubbed her good eye and adjusted her eyepatch on the other as she
strained to make out any markings on their clothes.
Cutty asked, “Wait… so y’all ain’t soldiers? Y’all rollin’ in a military whip… and y’all got guns and shit like da army or whateva.”
The lead guy answered Cutty, saying, “We are the soldiers of God, my brother, and it appears you have been recruited by the highest command. My name is Matthew.” He gestured to his companions and introduced them. “This is Luke, and this is Mark. We have taken on the visage of the Gospels and the burden of battling the demons of Satan and all who would follow them. May we ask who you are?”
So, obviously, these dudes were fuckin’ weirdoes, but they didn’t seem threatening at all. In fact, they seemed surprisingly friendly. Cutty answered him, “I love me some God, y’all. Dey call me Cutty. Dis here is Kylee, and dis dude name JC.”
Kylee chimed in, asking, “You said the fall of the minions in the west or some shit. We’re heading west. Matter of fact, we’re trying to catch up with a real military unit out that way.”
Luke shook his head and spoke for the first time, informing her, “I’m sorry, sister, but they are gone.”
JC demanded, “Gone? The fuck you mean gone?” JC flashed his aim from one to the other, daring one of them to answer. They never once reached for their weapons.
Matthew smiled and answered, “There is no need for your weapons here, brother. We cannot be harmed, for it is God’s will. This military unit you speak of was indeed to the west, and the Good Lord spoke to us and brought us to them.”
Luke continued for him with, “But they were agents of Satan and carried with them an army of his Demons. They had to be cleansed—all of them.”
Kylee was stunned. We all were. JC demanded again, “Invincible? Fucking insane is what you are! Start talking, or we’ll get to see exactly how invincible you really are, motherfucker!”
Kylee pleaded, “Jon, stop… please… We need to know what happened.”
Simultaneously, all three of the men made the sign of the cross and fell to their knees in prayers of thanks. Matthew said, “It is him… It is the fourth book! We’ve found our John!”