by Kuhn, Steve
JC was in a mood. We all knew it, too. He’s not really the type for hiding his emotions, and his mouth shoots off faster than his brain sometimes.
Cutty asked him flatly, “What you thinkin’ ’bout?”
JC waved a dismissing hand, but Kylee urged him to spill it. He told us, “I’m thinking that this may not be the place we want to be, and that kid holds the key to everything we need to know about what’s going on with the military nowadays.”
Murphy nodded thoughtfully before adding, “Yep. I’m real interested to hear why they had all those dumbshits with them in the first place, and he can probably explain what exactly happened when the shit hit the fan.”
It was about here that Rebecca whispered something to Cutty and made for the door without another word to anyone.
I’m beginning to hate secrets on the back of Trey and Tom and all that, so I thought to myself, Uh-uh, no way. I stopped Rebecca before she hit the door and called her out, asking, “What’s your problem?”
In three seconds flat, I looked like a complete dick in front of everyone. She answered me coldly with, “My best friend… my husband… asked me to kill him on our wedding day so he didn’t endanger you and the rest of this group. That was less than two days ago. I have to act like I’m fine with it so I don’t burden any of you with my problems. But you know what? I’m not fine with it. He was ten times the man you are, yet you’re still here and he’s not! Fuck you, Dext!” She slammed the door behind her.
I could feel myself blushing. It was humiliating. I offered an apology to Cutty, but he told me, “She jus’ need some time.”
Kylee tried to steer the conversation back on track, asking JC, “What do you mean ‘this place isn’t where we want to be’?”
He answered her, saying, “This place—with these Christians. Something feels funky. We’ve already butted heads more times than I can count, and the more I think about it, the more I tell myself, this place… this compound… is deceiving us. It’s not as safe as it seems.”
Murphy chuckled and chided JC with, “Are you telling a bad joke, or are you legitimately retarded, boy? This place is secure. We have constant, clean water. We have a medical facility. I bet there’s even some ammo in one of the last two buildings we need to clear. This place is about as close to a home as we’re gonna see.”
JC shook his head and argued, “That’s what you’re missing, old man. It’s not the dead I’m worried about here. They’re a manageable threat, but if we hole up here… with all this shit that you just listed… you think someone else out there isn’t going to want what we got? Don’t be a dumbass! A big enough group comes along and sees what we’ve made here, and it’s over! They’ll kill us all and take it.”
Cutty chimed in, “Den we fight for it.”
Kylee sucked her teeth thoughtfully before standing. She said, “Sorry, Cutty. JC’s right.” She shot me a shitty glance and added, “And no, Dext, it’s not because I’m fucking him.”
I didn’t even get an opportunity to respond before Murphy said, “As much as I hate to say it, maybe we should just take this place from the Christians altogether. We outnumber them nearly two to one. I know you’re all about constantly moving, JC, but we can defend this place. And if we can’t, we can at least be prepared to haul ass outta here in a hurry.”
Cutty argued, “We ain’t like dat, Mista Murphy. We can’t jus’ take what ain’t ours. Not to mention, these is God-fearin’ men.”
Kylee reminded Cutty, “Isn’t that what we did at the Haven?”
Damn… checkmate, Cutty. All he could say was, “It ain’t da same…”
Finally, JC bottom-lined it for all of us. He said flatly, “Fair enough. If this kid says that there’s still a chance that the military is out there and working on it, then I’m going… with or without you guys. If he says they’re all dead, then we’ll discuss what we do about these cross-huggers, but one thing’s for sure, I can’t call this place ‘home’ for too long.”
Murphy nodded his approval. “I ain’t gonna live under anyone’s thumb. I did enough of that before.”
We stood up and made our way to the door uneasily. It reminded me of one of those stupid work meetings where everyone sat down to hash out a problem, but in the end, you were just left with more questions. The only real positive out of the whole thing was that we all got to vent a little bit. Unfortunately, an actual agreement still eluded us.
Cutty opened the door only to be met with Luke standing there right in the hallway. He said to us, “The boy is ready to talk now.”
No telling how long Luke was out there.
Entry 70
The kid was feeling much better by the time we got a chance to talk to him. In fact, he was a completely different person, it seemed. He had regained his color and was perfectly content in our little, makeshift infirmary.
Murphy gave Giacomo the once-over and determined that, save for being a little undernourished, he was in good working order. He was no longer in his uniform, instead opting for some civilian clothes.
We were short on shit like that, so Kylee had sent him some of Wyatt’s things. The clothes fit his physical build, but definitely didn’t fit his demeanor. Kylee started us off by joking with him, saying, “Good thing you can’t shoot for shit, or else Cutty would’ve ruined your day, kid.”
Giacomo snorted a laugh and answered her with a thick New York accent, saying, “Look at this one ova here. She’s got jokes. Lemme tell ya som’n, ladybird. If I wadn’t sick offa my ass from eatin’ bugs and whatnot for a week an’ a half, I’da ruined his fawckin’ day, ya know what I’m sayin’? I guess we were all lucky, eh?”
Cutty asked him, “What dey call you? Got a nickname or somethin’?”
Giacomo thumbed his nose and answered Cutty like some Joe Pesci, Goodfellas rip-off, saying, “They used ta call me Fulci, but they always fucked up the pronunciation. I always told ’em, ‘It’s Fool-chi.’ So they all jus’ started callin’ me Fool. Yous guys can call me whateva.”
JC, in typical fashion, said flatly, “Cut the shit. What happened out there?”
Giacomo shook his head and took a deep breath. He started his story, saying, “It was a fawckin’ nightmare. We was bedded down for the night in the truck when we heard the Gunny screamin’ like he was havin’ a fawckin’ baby. So, me an’ Dilz popped out to see what the ruckus was all about, know what I’m sayin’?” He shook his head as he spoke and continued, “It looked like a fight had broken out or whateva, but then they started shootin’ an’ shit. Turns out, Hannity musta got bit or some shit, because he was all bernie-fied. Fawckin’ Hannity was chewin’ on the Gunny, just goin’ at him, but that wadn’t all. Lotsa guys was turnin’, except we didn’t have no bites that we knew of.”
Game changer. What Kylee told me that day after the truck crash was still happening. Soldiers were still turning for some reason out of nowhere. That was a bigger problem than anyone else realized, and the evidence was written all over Kylee’s face.
I could tell exactly what was going on in her head. She knew that she was a danger to us all. The only difference between her and Giacomo’s situation and actually being bitten was that there was an outside chance nothing would happen. Would the other’s call for her execution if we told them the truth? Do we even tell them the truth? Fuck, man, I didn’t know what to do. We’re talking about Kylee here!
Murphy said, “They had to be bitten, kid. Don’t nobody just turn for no reason.”
Giacomo nodded and said, “I know, right? That’s what I’m sayin’, know what I’m sayin’?”
JC pressed him in another direction, asking, “Well, let’s assume you had infected men. First, why did you have all those deadheads with you anyway?”
Giacomo shrugged and told him, “Do I look like a fawckin’ scientist to you? That shit’s above my grade, know what I’m sayin’? My orders were to gather survivors and keep the whole convoy safe from the bernies. Me an’ Dilz just did what we was told. We left the bern
ies in the cage trucks alone, because the nerds was collectin’ for tests and all kinda whatnot, know what I’m sayin’? But when the guys started turnin’, half of the otha guys in the lead trucks took off. Some of those trucks had bernie cages on the back, so when they was buggin’ out an’ whateva, they started spillin’ bernies all over da road. They fawckin’ left us—what was left of us anyways.”
I added, “Looks like you’re all that’s left.”
He thumbed his nose again and said, “Well I ain’t exactly the dyin’ type, know what I’m sayin’? I ran into the woods until I couldn’t hear no more gunfire. That morning, I scouted out what was left from the woods, but the bernies were fawckin’ everywhere, know what I’m sayin’? So, I made off into the woods way deep and was gonna try and wait for ’em to wander off. Day or two later, I hear more shots in that direction, but when I got to the scene, all I saw was some assholes in our last Hummer makin’ tracks back eastward. I guess that was yous guys, eh?”
JC told him, “Well, sort of. It was these guys here,” as he gestured to the Christians. “Just so we understand each other, half of your men are still out there further ahead?”
Giacomo nodded and said, “That’s what I’m sayin’! Yous guys wanna see if we can catch ’em or what?”
Kylee cut them off with, “You just get some rest, kid. We’ll talk about it later.”
So, now we have to figure what JC’s next move is. I’ll be watching him like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t disappear with a bunch of our shit. We have to talk to Murphy and see if he’s still of the mindset to take this place from the Christians by force, if necessary. We have to hope that Cutty won’t go apeshit if Murphy and the others do decide to take it by force. And then we have the issue of Kylee and Giacomo potentially turning at any given moment and killing us all.
Thankfully, Kylee suggested that Giacomo stay in the infirmary alone tonight. I’ll assume she’ll be sleeping by herself for a while. That’s all fine and well, but if she doesn’t have a good reason for leaving JC out in the cold, that might just make his decision to leave that much easier. Feels like we’re falling apart.
Entry 71
Once again, JC’s big mouth got us into some shit, and Murphy didn’t help the situation either. We’re lucky to be alive, and for once in my life, I was actually glad that the Christian ‘way’ was still being adhered to. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be in the jeep right now… We’d be laid on the fire.
After everyone was asleep for the night, Kylee came into my room quietly. I don’t think I’ll ever tell her this, but until she spoke, I had my hand on my pistol. I feel bad about that, but we just don’t know when and if it’ll happen for her.
She lay next to me and whispered, “Don’t fall asleep, Dext. I just don’t want to be alone if it happens. And if it does happen, you do what you have to do. I want it to be you.”
Funny thing is, I’ve been waiting for her to sneak into my room for weeks now, but this is the opposite of what I had in mind. I held her as she sobbed quietly until she fell asleep. I stayed awake for hours with my hand on her stomach, feeling the rise and fall of her breath.
It was still dark out when my door was violently kicked open. It slammed against the wall, and the silhouettes of JC and Luke entered in a hurry. Something was off about the whole thing. JC was unarmed with his hands in the air, and Luke was pointing a handgun at his head. He told us forcefully, “Get up, now!”
JC, clearly rattled by his own situation, took one look at Kylee and me laying there and mouthed the words, “You bitch!” at Kylee.
We protested slightly, but Luke pointed his weapon at us and said again, “Now! Out!”
Look, you can act as hard as you want, but if a dude has a gun pointed at you and you’re unarmed, you do what the fuck he says until you know for sure that it’s a life-or-death situation. We just had to figure out what was going on.
Luke guided us at gunpoint out into the courtyard near the gates where everyone else was lined up: Cutty, Murphy and Fart, Giacomo, Rebecca… They were all there without their weapons as Matthew and Mark held them at bay with rifles. Luke pushed us into the line with them and stepped back to join the other Christians.
Matthew addressed all of us, saying, “The Holy Spirit guided Brother Luke to a conversation. What he heard was certainly a surprise to us all, but it shouldn’t have been. We were naïve, and we should have known that Our Lord would test us beyond our wildest dreams. But you… you… people… have the Devil in you.”
Cutty tried reasoning with them, saying, “Mista Matthew, what you talkin’ ’bout? We good people. We always tried ta be good people.”
Mark shushed Cutty abruptly and snapped, “Bite your Devil tongue! Brother Matthew is speaking!”
Cutty pursed his lips tightly and did as he was told, but he was clearly swelling with frustration.
I knew what was up. I knew exactly what was going on here. Luke heard everything we said about possibly taking over the compound by force if we had to stay as he stood in that hallway. These men were feeling threatened, and their ‘mission’ was being threatened. The only thing I didn’t know was how far they would go.
Matthew continued his speech. “You people are unclean and will not change. It pains me to say so because we had such high hopes for all of us. We could have worked together and made this something the Lord would be proud of.”
His tone turned to one of anger and disgust. “Instead, like Judas Iscariot, you kiss our cheeks while plotting our demise behind our backs! You would watch us die and revel in the spoils of what we built!”
Rebecca started to cry slightly and protested, “It’s not like that! We were just desperate for… I don’t know… but we weren’t going to…”
Luke stalked over and pressed the barrel of his gun to her forehead, cocking back the hammer with a chilling click. He demanded, “Silence, Judas! Your words drip like poison off of your serpent tongue! It is written, and it is His will. You will betray us if left to your own devices.”
Cutty had enough. You don’t fuck with Rebecca when Cutty’s around. It’s just another one of those moments where the ante is upped. It was now a do-or-die situation, and that’s that moment I spoke about back when it was just me, Junior, Cutty, Wyatt, and Gary. It was a ‘fuck this’ kinda moment.
Cutty came across Luke’s jaw with his fist like a twelve-ton truck. Luke dropped the pistol as he fell, and as soon as it hit the ground, bang! It went off, loud as fuck.
Everyone flinched. All of us, even the Christians, were checking ourselves for holes. Before we all realized that everyone was okay, Murphy had scooped up the gun and had it aimed at Mark and Matthew. He said, “Someone is going to die here, but it ain’t gotta be that way.” His aim moved from Matthew to Mark and back again nervously.
Luke worked his way to his feet, holding his jaw, and said, “I told you… I told you that you would betray us, Judas!” He backed into line with Matthew and Luke as the standoff continued.
Matthew pointed to the gate with his rifle and said, “You’ll find your thirty pieces of silver in the form of some weapons and supplies in the jeep. We parked it at the church. Lucky for you, we don’t kill the living. God will see that justice is done just as he did for His son. You are not welcome here anymore.”
Giacomo spoke up, asking, “Wait, wait… You kickin’ me out, too? I didn’t even do nothin’, know what I’m sayin’? I don’t know what all this is even about.”
Mark told Giacomo, “You’re welcome to stay, but only you.”
Giacomo looked at us and then to the Christians and back at us again. “Yous guys mind if I go wit’ you?”
Kylee looked at me, silently warning that he might turn as well. I was about to say ‘no’ when JC spoke up and told him, “You’re comin’ with us. You’re our meal ticket with Kilo. Bring your ass.”
The gates swung open, and we began the two-mile hike to the jeep completely unarmed. I felt naked without a weapon. On the way up the road, I tried to talk to
JC about a plan, but he snapped, “Shut up, Dext. Just shut the fuck up!”
I didn’t challenge him. It just wasn’t the time.
Kylee whispered to me, “He thinks I’m sleeping with you, too, now. That’s a problem.”
I was stunned that she would say that. Do you think I gave a flying fuck about some soap-opera shit like that right then? Fuck JC and what he thinks about me and Kylee. And she needs to start caring a whole lot less about what he thinks, too, if you ask me. As a matter of fact, she should be with me anyway. Why the hell does she even like him? How is it she came into my room to lay with me? How’d she come to think she could tell me all the shit about her family and her dirty, little secrets, and then ask me to be the one to put her down if she turned? All that shit’s on me, and she gives a fuck about JC and what he thinks!
That’s some bullshit, Kylee!
Entry 72
We sat in the jeep in front of the church for a long time after I wrote my last entry. I don’t really even know how long it was, to tell you the truth. Murphy and Fart were parked next to us in the pickup truck, but he didn’t even have the window down so we could talk to him. Fool wasn’t saying much of anything, and JC was still seething. It was time to clear the air.
One thing I’ve noticed along this seemingly unreal journey is that we fail at talking to one another. I don’t mean just day-to-day conversation, but more about us as people. We’ve always just made a plan for a given situation and then tried to work that plan as best we could. If we were going to survive and actually make something of whatever was left, we needed to lay our cards on the table.
I said to everyone, “You all wanna go in the church until morning or what? We need to talk, and I mean everyone needs to talk. If we can’t do that much, we may as well just part ways now and hope for the best.”
JC snorted and shook his head in disgust as he flung his door open and stalked inside.