As we are about to enter backstage, Friday pulls me into a hug. “I’m so glad we met and had the past couple years together. Even if I end up staying in Georgia with my family, I will always be here for you. A text, a phone call, a FaceTime away.”
“I know.” I hug her back. “The same goes for me. I love you.”
The lights go down, and she walks out to take her place. I soak up every part of this last performance. The sound of the dancers running around backstage, the smell of sweat and tape and hairspray. The way the floor feels below me and the way the lights heat my skin. When I get a look into the audience, I see my family, both blood and chosen sitting there supporting me.
The only face missing is perhaps the most important. Oddly, I do feel his presence, even if I can’t see him. I’ve felt him at every performance. I’ve told myself it’s just wishful thinking all week and tried to dismiss it.
Standing behind the curtain for the last time, I quickly swipe tears away from my eyes before linking my arms around my fellow dancers’ backs. We all take turns stepping forward and bowing. When I rise back up from my final bow, I notice the glint of red hair in the front row of the balcony section. I can’t see a face, but my heart leaps at the thought that it might be Griff. I stand there, searching for a face until I’m pulled back so the curtain can drop.
I run to the side to look up with the lights in the theater up, but with all the bodies up and moving, I can’t see him. Friday walks up beside me and peers over my shoulder.
“Who are you looking for?”
“I thought I saw Griff after my final bow.”
“Oooo,” her eyes widen, and she looks out again, “where?”
“Front row of the balcony section.”
“Damn,” she says after taking another long look, “everyone up there is facing toward the back of the theater.”
“I know.” I sigh and shake off the hopeful thoughts. “It’s not like he’s the only redhead in Manhattan. Probably just seeing things.”
“Damn! Baby V, you look amazing!” Levi says as I approach the group my family is standing in at the gala.
Con turns and hooks an arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side. “You were beautiful tonight.”
“Thanks,” I squeeze him back before moving on to give everyone else hugs. Ivy and I are talking about my dress, a long, red Grecian-style dress that’s open in the front and back down to my waist. Lilith joins in the conversation but smiles at someone over my shoulder. I figure it’s Levi or Con, maybe Dad.
Then I feel familiar fingers trace the length of my spine. My entire body comes to life at that slight but intimate touch. Goosebumps race across my flesh from my neck to my toes, my skin tingles, my nipples harden just from his proximity. My body seems to know what my mind is finally catching up to, that I belong to the man standing at my back.
“Tsarina.”
One word. That’s all it takes for me to forget everything I’ve tried to convince myself. The lies I spun to make myself believe I didn’t deserve this man. The bitterness and disappointment I let color my vision.
“A word please.” He’s not asking. It’s a command with pretty packaging. His hand spreads possessively across my back, his fingertips sliding under the material of my dress.
I turn and, for the first in time in weeks, lock eyes with the man who owns my heart, body, and soul. His eyes burn so brightly into mine I can feel the heat we generate together. He looks fucking delicious in his perfectly tailored black suit.
“Yeah,” I allow him to lead me away from the group and down a side hallway. “Griff, I’m so so-” I never finish my sentence because he pushes me into an alcove.
His body pins mine to the wall. One of his hands wraps around my neck while his lips crash against mine. I moan as his tongue sweeps past my lips. He kisses me with aggressively possessive intent. His teeth bite down and tug on my lip.
His other hand traces over the side of my body, down my ribs, past my hip to where my skirt parts in a high slit. Then it makes its way back up to waist, lifting my skirt and exposing me to anyone walking by.
He breaks our kiss just long enough to whisper against my ear, “Should I take you right here, right now to remind you who you belong to?” He bites my earlobe. “Should I mark my territory right here, a hundred feet away from a room full of people?” He moves his lips to my neck and pushes my dress off one shoulder, exposing my breast.
His fingers circle my nipple, teasing me with light touches before plucking and pulling with enough force to make me gasp. My hips buck against him, seeking friction of some sort. I lean forward to kiss him again, but he pulls away with a dark chuckle.
“Is this all we are, Tsarina? Hot sex in a corner?” His fingers plunge inside me, but he keeps them still. “Just a good but casual fuck?”
I shake my head no.
“Oh, Tsarina.” He gives my g-spot one perfect stroke. “You know I need words. Non-verbal cues just don’t work for me.” He withdraws his fingers and begins circling my clit, spreading my arousal all over. “Your body sure as fuck knows it belongs to me, has your mind caught up yet?”
“Yes,” I say shakily as I teeter on the edge of an orgasm.
“Good girl,” he growls with approval. “Good girls get rewarded.”
He drops to his knees in front of me and swings one of my legs over his shoulder, pushing my skirt to the side. I run one of my hands through his hair as he gazes at my bare pussy—pink, wet, and throbbing for him. He looks up at me, a devilish grin on his face as he leans down and inhales my scent.
“I fucking missed this cunt, Tsarina.” He kisses my mound and strokes my slit. “Who does this belong to?”
“You. It belongs to you.” I barely finish the sentences before he’s sucking my clit into his mouth and fucking me with his fingers. I grip his hair and grind against his face until I start to come. I should be concerned about someone walking by and seeing the wanton image of me, one breast exposed, and Griff’s face buried between my thighs. But as my belly heats with the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had, I feel untouchable. I know the man at my feet would protect me against any foe.
He licks and strokes me through the aftershocks before looking back up at me. His lips shine with my juices when he looks up at me. He gently lowers my leg and stands up, kissing me deeply, so I can taste myself on him. He rests his forehead against mine.
“I had a whole plan, a speech to give you to get you back.” His smile is slow. “But this dress,” he fixes my strap, “and my craving for you that has only intensified in your absence made me lose my mind.”
I run my hands around his back inside his suit jacket. I want to feel his skin against mine, I want to memorize his body. A wave of desire and need hits me so hard I feel lightheaded. But I know that I need to tell him how I feel. He needs to hear the words fall from my lips.
“I love you, Griff. I have loved you. I’m sorry for pushing you away.” I start to cry because apparently that’s all I do anymore. Gratitude for him, relief, love, desire, and happiness swirl through me in a maelstrom of emotions. Sobs wrack my body, and he pulls me from the wall and to his chest.
“It’s okay, I know it’s hard. I knew you didn’t mean it, even when it tore me to pieces.” He kisses my head and shudders against me. “I was never going to let you go. You’re mine. I’m yours. We’re going to face everything this life has to throw at us as a united front.” He tilts my head back and stares into my eyes. “Even if all we have is tomorrow, I’m going to make it better than the day before. I promise I’m going to make every single day of our life together count.”
He kisses me again, this time sweet and soft. He pulls back and runs his nose along mine in a tender gesture. “I paid to be the only person at your table tonight, but I really just want to take you home.”
“You paid for the whole table?” I ask, amused. “Part of your plan to get me back?”
“Exactly. I had a huge public scene planned. Con and Levi helped me brainsto
rm.”
“I liked this better.” I smile up at him.
“Me too,” he smacks my ass. “Let’s go home.”
He takes my hand and leads me back out to the room where dinner is being served. All of a sudden, the same feeling I had in the studio with Friday hits me. My body heats, I feel dizzy and nauseous, but before I can say anything, everything goes dark.
22
GRIFF
I always thought the phrase ‘my life flashed before my eyes’ was hyperbole, but when I looked over and saw Claire collapse beside me that is exactly what happened. I caught her before her head hit the ground, thank fuck. Then Con and Levi were by my side in the blink of an eye.
“Y’all,” Friday says from over my shoulder, “this is almost exactly what happened last time.”
“What do you mean ‘last time’?” I glare over my shoulder at her. “This has happened before?”
“Yeah, one day we were practicing in her home studio, and she got sick and passed out on me. The dance company physician said it was just exhaustion.”
It didn’t seem like she was exhausted fifteen minutes ago when she was coming all over my face, but I keep that observation to myself. I look over at Con, and he nods, knowing I’m silently suggesting the hospital. I sweep her into my arms and stand up, walking towards the door.
“Can you grab all her things for us?” I hear Levi ask Friday.
Lilith falls in step beside us. “Victor and Ciara stepped outside a few minutes ago. I’ll go find them. Are you taking her to the hospital?”
“Yeah,” Con gives her a kiss.
“We’ll meet you guys there,” she gives Claire a worried glance before running off.
Marco is already waiting for us. Con gets in first and takes Claire from me. I slide her back into my lap after closing the door, and she starts to come to. She’s probably only been out for two or three minutes tops, but it feels like hours.
Her pretty green eyes flutter open but are dazed. She sees Con first but then notices me and smiles a bit, resting her head against my chest.
“Good,” she mumbles. “I didn’t dream of that orgasm, it actually happened.”
Marco laughs and quickly coughs to try to cover it. Con’s eyes narrow as he glares at me accusingly. I stare right back at him because it’s not like he and Lilith haven’t had sex in public places. He scoffs and grumbles, looking away after a minute of our staring contest.
Claire keeps coming to more and more. Her eyes clearing as she tries to sit up more. I tighten my arms, refusing to let her go.
“What happened?”
“You passed out.”
“In front of everyone?” she gulps.
“Who gives a fuck about anyone else?” Con snaps. “How do you feel right now?”
“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Are we going home?”
“To the hospital,” Con and I say at the same time.
“Why? I’m sure it’s just exhaustion like the last time.”
“I don’t give a fuck. You should have gone to the hospital the first time.”
“Why didn’t you take her to the hospital?” It’s so unlike him to not be thorough.
“I wasn’t called in until hours later.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“I know.”
“Excuse me.” Claire says, her voice irritated. “I am a grown woman who can make her own medical decisions.”
“I mean,” Con smirks at me, “not anymore.”
I smirk back. “Mine now.” I pull her closer, ignoring the elbow that she shoves in my stomach.
“At least I know she’ll be taken care of.” Con holds out a fist to me. “Since she can’t take care of herself.”
“Always.” I bump it with my own.
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything, just snuggles up against me until we pull up to the emergency room entrance. I try to carry her, but she slaps me away. Con and I flank her on both sides and get her checked in. Everyone else shows up shortly after us. Claire is taken back and asks if Ciara can join her. I’m happy to see Claire slide her hand into her mom’s as they walk back to get her checked out.
Forty minutes later, a nurse comes out to the lobby and calls my name. She says that Claire was asking for me. I feel like it’s a little weird that she’d ask for me and not Victor, but I go back, bracing myself for any kind of awful news. I make sure to have my face locked in a neutral expression, so I can be as calming and strong as she needs me to be.
Ciara stands and leaves as soon as I walk in. Again, it’s weird. She gives me a little smile and squeezes my arm. I look over at Claire who looks scared. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are glassy like she’s been crying. I rush over and grab her hand, about to comfort her and tell her that everything will be okay, we’ll fight it together.
“You ready to see your baby?” A nurse asks as she rolls a cart with an ultrasound machine on it.
“Baby?” I look down at Claire, who’s smiling and weeping.
She nods and gives a teary laugh. “I didn’t know. I didn’t think I could.” She laughs and swipes tears before looking up at me nervously. “Are you mad?”
“I’m not mad. I’m….” I trail off watching in wonder as the ultrasound tech squirts jelly on Claire’s stomach. “I’m surprised. Shocked. I need a second, but I’m not mad. Not one bit.” I grab her hand and kiss the back of it.
The tech goes through a list of possibilities, that she might have to do an internal ultrasound depending on how far along Claire is. They only have the positive urine test not the blood test results, which apparently can give you a better idea of how far along because of hormone levels. Or at least I think that’s what she says.
I can’t take my eyes off Claire’s stomach. Her body that’s growing my baby. A baby that theoretically shouldn’t have been conceived. The tech moves the wand back and forth a few times.
“Oh, look. There’s the baby.” She clicks a few keys on the keyboard.
My eyes fly up to the monitor where a neon green arrow points at what appears to be a tiny gummy bear.
“Looks like the baby is about seven weeks.” She clicks some more things and takes measurements. “See that fluttering right here?” She moves the mouse cursor over a section that looks a bit like static on an old television. “That’s your baby’s heart beating. Pretty cool, isn’t it?”
When I look down at Claire, her smile is so big and bright. “I’m really pregnant?” she asks quietly.
“Yes, honey.” The tech pulls a string of photos out of a slot on the machine and cuts them apart. “Here’s your visual proof. Come this time next year, you two will be exhausted new parents, covered in drool and drowning in love.”
Epilogue
CLAIRE
SEVEN MONTHS LATER
“It’s a girl!” my OB announces joyfully.
Griff grips my hand tightly before pulling it up to his lips and kissing my knuckles. His eyes shine down on our daughter as they wipe her down and weigh her. She lets out the tiniest little cry and my heart swells with a type of love I’ve never felt before. The doctor and nurses finish everything with me while the pediatric nurses look her over.
“What’s her name going to be?” the nurse asks as she hands her to Griff.
“Alina Josephine.” He stares down at her and tries so hard to hold his emotions in check. I can see the tears swimming in his eyes though and he can’t hold them back when he looks over at me, our baby girl cradled in his arms.
I pull the hospital gown down my arms and put her against me so she can try nursing. She’s a couple weeks early but a good size. Griff and a nurse stand on either side of the bed helping me. As soon as she latches on and starts suckling I have the most intense shower of emotions.
I look up at Griff as tears pour down my face. Our little miracle baby is here and she’s so perfect. Gratitude and love fill my entire being as I caress her bald and slightly misshapen head. Through hiccupping and tears I look to the nurse, “It’s not g
oing to stay like that, is it?”
“No, honey, it’s just from birth. It’ll go to a normal shape soon.”
“Give us a call when she’s done feeding. We’ll need to take her to the nursery to check her out a little bit more but she looks perfect.”
Griff sits down beside me on the bed as I switch Alina to the other side. He leans down and kisses her head lightly, causing her to open one eye and give him a newborn glare. I chuckle at her little attitude, amazed by her tiny body. I say a silent prayer that I’ll be able to be the mother she deserves for as long as I’m granted time here. My only wish is to be able to be a fully present mother to her.
“I’ve been thinking.” He kisses my temple.
“About how we made the most perfect little miracle baby?”
“No,” I hear the smile in his voice, “about how amazing you are. About how I want to spend the rest of our lives worshipping you, loving you, fighting you. I know it won’t be easy, there’s going to be hard moments but we can face them together.”
He pulls a beautiful ring out of his pocket. We’ve talked about how I don’t know if marriage is something I want but sitting here, overwhelmed with love for Alina and for Griff I can’t think of a reason to say no.
“Tsarina, I want to be the one you dance for. When you can’t dance alone, I’ll be the one you dance with. Then when you can’t dance anymore, I’ll be the one to dance for you. I love you more than I ever thought I could love another person. Will you marry me?”
“Yes.” I nod and hold my shaking hand out for him to slip the ring on my finger. It’s an emerald cut black diamond in an antique setting with pave diamonds surrounding the center stone. It is perfectly nontraditional and I could not be happier.
He wraps his arms around the baby and me and holds us for a minute. “I love you,” he whispers with his forehead pressed against mine. “No one knows I was going to propose at all. We can tell everyone or just let them figure it out on their own.”
Surrender (The Titans of Founder's Ridge Book 3) Page 17