With his violin in hand, Jake wandered out of the room. Hank looked over at Sophie, who stood leaning in the doorway. "Be careful where you stand, young lady."
She looked at him, confused. He smiled and pointed above Sophie's head. She looked up to find she was standing beneath a sprig of mistletoe. She stepped aside with an uneasy smile.
Hank continued, "Legend has it, you know, that if a woman isn't kissed under the mistletoe at Christmas, she won't be married in the following year." Sophie froze awkwardly in her place for a split second--long enough for Hank to stride across the room to do the honors. As Sophie took a step backward, two hands took hold of her shoulders. Before Hank could reach her, Jake spun Sophie around to face him.
Maggie arrived in the kitchen doorway in time to see Jake and Sophie under the mistletoe. With a grin, he looked into her eyes, and then planted a kiss on her lips. When it was over, Jake pulled back with a broad smile. Sophie looked stunned, and laughter and applause filled the room. Maggie backed out of the doorway and rushed through the kitchen. No one saw her close the back door behind her. The cold air soothed her stinging eyes as she leaned her back up against the house and fought to keep her heart from breaking. "You've been a great fool, Maggie MacLaren," she said bitterly.
Von Luden's Pond was full of skaters, young and old, but none was more proud than Robin in her new Christmas skates. As Maggie laced up her own skates, Jake sped past. What effort it took not to notice him. Jake teased his brothers and raced around the outskirts of the pond faster than any of them. More than once, Maggie caught herself watching him, then looked about to make certain no one had seen. She did her best to avoid him, but the pond was too small.
Maggie skated onto the ice. Jake rounded the far end of the pond and headed her way. She was so busy watching him from the corner of her eyes, she failed to see a bump in the ice. Her skate caught it and sent her feet into the air and her backside flat onto the ice. Jake swooped over and put his hands under her arms to lift her to her feet.
"Are you alright, darlin'?"
Frustrated, Maggie yanked her arm free. "I'm just fine."
She tried to stand up, but made a poor show of it, slipping and losing her balance. Again, she fell down.
Jake reached his hand out. When she did not take it, he said, "Don't be stubborn."
"Stubborn?" She heaved an angry breath, but his kind smile melted through her defenses. She accepted his offered hand and let him pull her up, while he steadied her with an arm about her waist. She hated him for his strong arms that felt so good around her. As he led her to a log, she hated herself for letting him give her this false sense of support that would not last. She did not want to lean on his hard shoulder and feel reassured when it would only lead to confusion and pain. She could lose herself in his arms, if she only knew how to find her way there. But it was too late.
Jake sat down beside her.
"How do you do it?" she asked him.
"Do what?" Jake replied.
"Manage to be there when I fall."
A smile started to form, but it faded. "It's a gift--being there when you don't want me."
His words were quiet, but with a cynical edge that caught Maggie off guard. She said, "That's not true. I was trying to say--"
"Forget it, Maggie."
"Forget what? I don't understand you anymore."
He muttered, "That makes two of us."
She could see he was angry. She hated the tension between them. Jake hated it, too. She could tell--unless something else was bothering him.
"Jake, talk to me."
He glanced at her. "It looks like you've recovered from your fall, so I'll be on my way." He leaned forward, and began to get up.
Maggie caught hold of his shoulder before he could stand. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."
With a smirk, he said, "It wasn't the first time."
A stab of guilt struck her. After years of close friendship, they'd changed toward each other. No, she was the one who had changed. She'd been wrapped up in her feelings for Andrew, and left Jake behind. "I've hurt you. I'm sorry."
Jake's eyes burned with months of pent up aching that used to be love. "Don't be sorry. I don't need your pity."
"It's not pity. We're friends."
"Friends." He looked and faced her with accusation.
His attitude hurt her. She said, "We're still friends, aren't we, or have I lost you?"
"Lost me? You knew where I was." His dark eyes bore through her.
Maggie felt cornered and lashed out. "You knew where I was, too."
"Yes, I did. You were up at the lake with your boyfriend--excuse me--your fiancé." He smiled a false smile. "How are the wedding plans coming?"
The blow landed and hurt. Maggie gave no reply. A long silence stretched out. Feeling chilled, Maggie hugged her shoulders.
Regretting his harshness, Jake said, "Look, I know you fell in love. It isn't a crime."
Maggie found it hard to look Jake in the eye anymore.
He went on, "But I hated to see you going up there to the mountain with your rich people, and their college degrees and fine houses and fancy clothes--trying to be someone you're not."
It was difficult hear, but she offered no argument.
Jake hesitated, and then said, "No, that's not true. What I really hated was to see you with him."
Her eyes flashed toward him, but he looked away quickly.
Jake's raw emotions had taken him past the bounds of dignity or pride. There was no stopping now. "While you were up there at the lake--playing tea party, life went on down here--without you."
Sorrow darkened her brow. Timidly, she put her hand upon Jake's arm. With a soft voice she said, "I never meant to hurt you."
His eyes seared everything that they glanced at, none of which were Maggie.
She said, "But I did, and I know it." She lifted her hand from his arm, and said, "I got lost in the glamour."
He said, "You wouldn't be the first woman to give herself to a man for money."
A white-hot anger shot threw her. She swung her arm to slap him, but Jake caught her wrist and pulled her close.
Maggie said, "I never knew you were cruel."
"Neither did I." Jake opened his hands with a sudden release, like a man just awakened from a nightmare. Raw emotions hung in the air. He had let them all out. Now he sat on the log and stared up at curved mountaintops. He reached over and rested his hand on Maggie's. "I'm sorry."
She turned her hand until her palm met his and laced her fingers in his. The crystalline flakes covered the ground with a cleansing layer of snow. But the light they reflected was bright. "It's over with Andrew."
Jake's anger was spent. His voice sounded tired. "I suppose I should say that I'm sorry to hear it."
"You don't have to."
"Good." He couldn't help asking, "What happened?"
"His parents wanted a better match for him. I suppose they were right. We had nothing in common."
"Oh, I don't know. You both wanted to marry money." He softened the blow with a crooked smile that charmed her.
"I suppose I deserved that. But I never set out to do that. But along the way, I lost track of myself." Maggie wearily stared at the skaters, moving in circular patterns among each other. It was a perfect day. The crisp air and the freshness of a new snow were blaringly exquisite. It made her feel lonely.
She said, "Go ahead. Say it. I've been a fool."
Jake raised an eyebrow, and then stared at the ground. After a while, he said softly, "I missed you."
Maggie lifted pained eyes to meet his. His anger was one thing. But his kindness destroyed her. She wanted to weep in his arms, but she couldn't. Not now. It was too late. She said, "I've let you down."
He spoke in low tones. "No you haven't. You were there when Will died." With no warning, he looked into her eyes. "That meant a lot."
"I barely saw you, or spoke with you."
"You were there, and I knew it. What could you have said?"
/>
"I wanted to find words to make you feel better."
"And what words would those be?" Jake nodded, looking down to conceal an unexpected wave of emotions he could not control.
Maggie's eyes filled with tears. "I don't know. I never found them."
Seeing her tears, Jake put his arm about Maggie's shoulder as he assumed false cheer and his father's Irish brogue. "Don't worry, darlin'. As me da used to say, 'Dance as if no one's watching, sing as if no one's listening, and live everyday as if it were your last.'"
Maggie forced a smile. "On the bright side, you've got Sophie now."
Jake's turned his head sharply. "Sophie? Is that what you think?" He laughed to himself.
"Shouldn't I?" Maggie's eyes widened.
"Maggie," he shook his head, almost looking amused. "Do you believe in destiny?"
"I don't know."
"I'm beginning to think that, no matter how hard we try, our lives just end up where they're supposed to be anyway."
Maggie said, "What if you don't like where you end up?"
"Then there's no help for you, darlin'." he said, with a light laugh.
Maggie did not join him, but instead grew melancholy.
Had she seen his kind eyes, she might have found comfort. He said, "I'm sorry you got your heart broken."
"It's not your fault."
"I know. But I'm sorry for you."
Maggie smirked. "I don't need your pity."
"What do you need, Maggie?" When his gaze started to smolder, he forced himself to look elsewhere. An old couple skated by, holding hands, gently gliding--not very fast--but comfortably synchronized.
Maggie watched them, too, and said, "I missed this."
"This?"
"You."
Jake met her gaze with dark eyes, and then suddenly brightened. With a grin, he said, "Ah, I knew it. You've been wretched without me."
Maggie gave him a childish nudge with her shoulder. It took them back to simpler times, if just for a moment. They watched the skaters making their way around the pond, some sliding, some halting, and some not making it at all.
Then Jake squeezed her hand and arose to speed away across the iced over pond. Maggie had her friend back, but she wondered if that was enough.
Chapter 20
The lake water lapped against the docks as Powell strode along the boardwalk with hollow, steady footsteps. He stepped up onto the Adair's porch to join Andrew and the other members of their rowing team as they gathered for early spring training. Midday sunlight filtered through the dense trees above as light laughter rang from inside the cottage. The door opened and out came Allison, looking fresh and radiant.
"I thought I'd go for a ride into town. Would you care to join me?"
Andrew declined. "We're in training for the regatta. We're determined to win it this year."
"I'm sure you will," Allison replied with sparkling eyes.
"Why don't you ask Samuel to take you?"
Powell glowered at Andrew's suggestion.
Allison hesitated. "Well, yes. I suppose I could." Allison looked out toward the lake at the blades of bright sun on the dock.
"You could wait to go to town until we're finished," said Powell.
Allison turned to Andrew as though she had not heard. "What a beautiful day to be out on the lake."
Andrew cast a disinterested look toward the lake. Some of the crew team took a few steps toward the edge of the porch and waited. Seeing them, Andrew tilted his head and smiled at Allison.
"We'll see you later."
Allison waved him on. "You'd better get going if you're going to master that lake."
She grinned warmly, and then turned to walk into the house. The others were at the dock by the time Powell caught up with Allison. She was at the other end of the hallway, with her hand on the doorknob.
"If you wait until we're done, I'll take you to town."
Allison gasped. "Powell? Where did you come from?"
"Louisiana." He strained to be charming.
"Very clever, but you know what I mean. You scared me half to death."
"Let me escort you to town."
"Thank you, but that won't be necessary."
"But surely--"
"No thank you," she said kindly, but firmly.
Powell's eyes narrowed, making Alison uneasy. She took a step backward. Her heel knocked against the door. She turned to open the door, but it stuck as she rattled the obstinate knob.
Powell reached his arm around her. She felt his breath upon her neck as his hand brushed against hers and, with a simple twist of his wrist, unlatched the door and pulled it open.
It narrowed the space in which she could move without brushing against Powell. With a halting breath, Allison sidestepped her way through the narrow opening, made so by Powell's boot against the door edge.
Late in the night, Allison watched a candle flicker in Samuel's window. She lit a candle of her own and waited. Seconds later his candle was snuffed out. Allison blew across the flame to extinguish her own, and then hastened out into the night, taking care not to awaken anyone in the household.
The hood of her cape slipped to her shoulders as she ran down the boardwalk to the end of the dock, where a boat lay gently rocking. The moon lit a path across the water, but it was one they would not follow, for theirs was a path through the shadows. Samuel helped Allison into the rowboat, and then covered her with a blanket. She crouched down low as Samuel rowed as fast as he could without making undue noise.
Allison peeked from beneath the blanket and, seeing that the cottages were far from view, let the blanket drop to her shoulders. She put her hands on his knees as he continued to row. "I've missed you."
Samuel whispered, "Don't talk. The sound carries over the water." He stopped rowing and gazed for a moment.
Samuel pulled the boat to shore at a secluded spot across the lake. Now that they could speak, they had no desire to. Samuel carried her from the boat to the shore, and then set her down gently. She shivered. He spread several blankets on the ground, and then pulled her down to lie on them. A gleeful laugh escaped as she buried her face in his chest. Her lips sought his in the darkness as he lowered himself over her. Samuel pulled a down quilt over both their bodies to shield them from the cool night air.
He turned his face toward her hand as she reached around his lowering neck. How she longed for such moments each day, each hour. To feel his shoulders strong and secure. She wanted to hide in these arms. His lips touched her neck and shoulders, while his hands explored every part of her. Slowly they peeled off their clothing like layers of secrets and lies they were forced to conceal in the daylight. The smooth satin of skin against skin and the heat it enkindled took them to a place where they loved without hiding. Each touch made her yearn to be closer, to give herself to him. He owned her with his touch and his taste, until she feared she might drown in ecstatic release.
Collapsed and entwined they lay breathing in scents of moist earth and leaves and line-dried cotton quilts. Allison fought the same thoughts that always returned close to parting to encroach upon their tranquility.
"We'll have to leave soon," she said, with a sigh.
"No, not yet," Samuel said, and wrapped himself closer around her.
"I mean home. We may have to leave home soon."
"Are you sure that you can."
"I am sure that I must. They're pressuring me to let Powell Sutton court me."
"That jackass--if he gives you any trouble--"
"It's not only him. He's won over my family. Even Andrew."
"I saw it coming. I've watched him maneuver himself and his money. I'm sure he's behind the flood of clients who've left your father's firm recently. The firm is now forced to rely almost entirely on the Sutton family business to keep the firm afloat."
"Would he really go that far?"
"I can't prove it, but, yes, I believe that he has."
"I can't keep putting him off. And I'm afraid to leave. If he pulls his
business away, what will father do?"
"Maybe it would be better to leave before he forces your hand. He'd save face, if you left before having to jilt him. And by then, he may even feel lucky to have avoided being connected the scandal."
"The scandal?"
"Of us. When we run off together."
"Of course. There would be a scandal, wouldn't there?"
"Are you sure you can do this to your family?"
"They'll survive as I did once before."
"So we're going to do this?" He smiled, as the joy of their future became real in his mind.
"Yes." Allison flung her arms around his neck. "Yes, we are."
"I can't give you the life you deserve. But I've saved a good deal of money. It'll be a simpler life. Are you sure?"
"I have never been surer." Allison's heart was so full she could only see joy up ahead.
In the chill stillness of night, they rowed back to the cottage. As Allison stepped off the boardwalk, Samuel pulled her into the shadows and into his arms. They kissed, and they looked at the stars. "We could go to Canada. We could buy some land. Build a house."
"Oh, Samuel, could we? But where?"
"Anywhere. It doesn't matter. We'll be home."
"Our home."
"It won't be the life you're used to. There are things you will miss."
"Miss the loneliness? The emptiness? The same parties with the same people and the same conversations?" A cold breeze stirred the trees. Allison nestled deeper into Samuel's solid arms. "All my life I've been missing you."
Samuel said, "We're together now."
She said, "You've been part of my life for so long."
"Our love grew from friendship." The night air was calm, but Allison was not. He brushed knuckle lightly against her cheek and searched her eyes. "That's a strong place for love to grow from."
Allison struggled to shape thoughts into words. "I think I knew, deep down, how I felt. But I didn't dare let myself." She met his eyes. "I was afraid." Tears threatened to fall.
"Allison, don't you think I had my own fears?"
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