by Anna Scott
On the drive, we stayed quiet, but it was comfortable. My mind kept going back to Zach’s strange behavior and the way I’d stood up to the bully. When I’d been in Gavin’s arms, I didn’t think my need for him was born of fear of Zach as much as it had just been in the pleasure of Gavin’s embrace.
I directed Gavin to my house and in no time, he pulled into the driveway, then helped me down. What was it with these guys and their big trucks? Gavin had one as long as I could remember, though this one was a lot nicer. The first truck he’d bought when he was sixteen was an old rust-bucket, but he’d worked hard for it and had loved it. I wondered for a moment what had ever happened to that thing.
“Thank you so much,” I said as I started to walk to the front door. What I hadn’t realized, was that Gavin was following me. When I turned to wave, he was standing right behind me, so, of course, I invited him inside. The funny thing was, when Zach had been in my space, I’d hated it, now that Gavin was, I wanted him to get closer.
I did my best to ignore the rioting feelings pulsing through my body. He was here, as a friend, helping me, supporting me, even though I really didn’t need it.
Walking into the kitchen, I asked what he wanted. I spent a little more time than necessary, getting us drinks. I needed a minute, to pull myself together, to come to terms with Gavin being in my house. It was odd, after all these years, to have my old friend right here.
Once we both had an iced tea and were seated in the living room, I looked at Gavin and waited. There must be something he had to say, after all, he’d followed me in here.
“Dawn, I – are you okay?” He stuttered and then asked.
“I’m fine. I was so angry with Zach, but I wasn’t afraid. He was just being a jerk.”
Gavin nodded, but didn’t commit to it. I could see the anger bubbling just under the surface.
“Don’t worry about it, I knocked him down a peg and told him I’d report him, I don’t think he’ll bother me again.”
“I hope not.” Gavin replied, a clear thread of irritation in his voice.
We sat quietly for a few minutes, until Gavin spoke again, changing the subject.
“How was your week?”
Slightly taken aback at the casualness of his tone, and maybe annoyed with him, that he hadn’t gotten in contact all week, my reply was sharper than I’d intended.
“Fine, why do you ask?”
Gavin’s gaze shot up to mine, questioning my curt tone. He looked at me quizzically for a few beats, trying to read my expression if I had to guess.
“Mine was long, really busy. I wanted to connect with you, but I don’t have your number, and I didn’t have time to stop in the store again.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound bitchy.” It had never been in my nature to behave so rudely, and it hurt me to act that way with Gavin, again. My defenses were on high alert, and I could admit – if only to myself – that the way I’d been embarrassed, all those years ago, caused me to be afraid of him now; I was terrified that I'd show too much and the same would happen all over again.
Gavin shook his head and grinned. Since he’d looked down at his clasped hands, I couldn’t see his face, I couldn’t read his expression.
“When is your next day off?” He asked, meeting my eyes once again.
“Sunday,” I wanted to ask why, but didn’t.
“Good, where do you want to go to dinner?” He was completely straight faced, damn, he had some balls.
“I’m sorry, were we going to dinner?” I asked, I wasn’t angry at his audacity, but was surprised.
“Yes, we’re going to have dinner. We’re friends, right? Let’s go to dinner.”
Friends, right. We could be friends. Right? Could I really be friends with Gavin? I’d fancied myself in love with Gavin once upon a time, but that was so long ago, I had moved past that years ago. So, yes, I could, I would be friends with Gavin again.
“Sure, Mexican?”
“Sounds good, I’ll pick you up about six-thirty?”
I nodded my ascent and we exchanged numbers. Gavin stayed for a little while longer, then left. The interaction had been friendly, nothing more. Our dinner on Sunday would just be two old friends catching up, not a date. I needed to keep my mind focused and not allow old, girlie fantasies to take over.
When I walked him out, I heard the roar of Harley pipes, a sound I’d been trained to listen for, as a very young child. As strange as it was, it was a sound that still brought a smile to my face. Mom had always listened, then watched and waited, when she heard them. She’d longed for my father to come riding up, and she was just sure that every single set of pipes she heard, were going to be his.
As the rider went by, he moved slowly on the street, and seemed to pay particular attention us Gavin and me. I didn’t feel afraid, though I thought that maybe I should have. Maybe, my freak out meter was broken, after the whole Zach thing earlier.
“You know that guy?” Gavin asked, getting a good look at the older man and seemingly taking note of his cut.
Shaking my head, I turned my focus back on Gavin, thanked him again for bringing me home, and promised I’d see him the following night for dinner.
Later that day, when my mom came by, I’d heard the pipes again, just before I hopped into the car to drive her home. I watched as she whipped her head around and looked, but neither of us saw a bike. I almost laughed at how silly we must look, behaving that way.
Once we were finally on our way, I survived her incessant questions. When she discovered that I didn’t have much to say, or wasn’t sharing it, she gave me the low down. Apparently, Gavin had gone back to Nicole’s house, but when he’d arrived, Zach was long gone. Gavin spoke with his mother privately for a while, probably telling her what he’d witnessed, but my mom didn’t know for sure.
I was relieved when we pulled up in front of her house and she exited the car. She’d promised to call me later, which I knew, would be in a few days, unless she thought something juicy was going on in my life.
As I lay in bed that night, waiting for the elusive sleep to come, my phone vibrated from the nightstand. Rolling over, I grabbed it and read.
Gavin: Was great seeing you today, Zach’s crazy ass excluded of course. Can’t wait to see you Sunday.
Dawn: Good to see you too. Don’t worry about Zach, it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Gavin: It was, I’m sorry he acted like that.
Dawn: Thanks, I’m fine.
Gavin: Sleep well, beautiful girl.
Seeing his words light up on the small screen, a wide grin spread across my face, before I set it down, rolled over and slept.
Saturday morning came way too early. I’d failed to close the drapes in my room all the way the night before, so the sun shone right into my eyes before I was ready to wake up. Stumbling into the kitchen I made a strong pot of coffee and downed my first cup before I went in to get ready for the day.
It would be a busy one, as most Saturdays were at Indulgence. It was a good thing, as I worked on commission. It would also help me to pass the time until my dinner with Gavin the next night.
I got to the store first, thanks to my too early wakefulness. Amber arrived just a few minutes after me and we went inside together. Aurora was late coming in, which was unusual. She made her schedule to coincide with Luke’s as much as she could, but planned it ahead, so her tardy arrival today caught us by surprise.
Aurora walked in, and she was accompanied by a puffy eyed Hope. Her demeanor was subdued, I wanted to ask, but didn’t feel comfortable doing that, since Hope and I weren’t that close.
When Hope walked into the back to sort some new inventory, Aurora explained that Hope and Jake had a huge fight and she’d had left him. She was staying with Aurora and Luke until the situation with her stalker was resolved.
I was worried for Hope, of course, but for Jake too. It was obvious to all of us that he was completely gone over her, I wondered if he’d show up here today and try to talk to
her.
I didn’t know Jake well, but what I could tell, he wasn’t one to take no for an answer. I hoped that he wouldn’t make a scene with customers in the store.
As selfish as it was, I also wondered if things between Hope and Jake were permanently over, if Gavin would move in. I didn’t think that he would, after all, he and Jake were close friends, I couldn’t imagine him encroaching on a buddy’s girl like that, even if she was an ex. Tyler was right, I had to get those kind of thoughts out of my head.
I felt like shit, thinking about the situation that way, guilty for dreading seeing Gavin’s interest in Hope again. Gavin having feelings for anyone would be difficult; just as it had been when we were kids. I wished I was more mature than that, and I hated that about myself.
At some point, he’d probably couple up with someone. The only good thing about that was, I wouldn’t see it, at least not much. I’d never really spent much time with the group as a whole, I’d be sure to keep it that way. Fuck, I really didn’t like that either. I liked these people. I didn’t want to act like some bitch, because I couldn’t grow up and deal with Gavin dating and eventually marrying someone.
“Good afternoon, gorgeous ladies.” Tyler chirped as he walked through the front door of the store later that day. Thank god, he was just the man I needed to see today.
“Hey, Tyler, how are you?” Aurora asked just as Amber walked over and gave him a hug. The girls knew him, since he came in to take me to lunch at least once a week.
“I’m going to whisk this lovely creature to lunch, if you all don’t mind.” Hope smiled for the first time all day, which was great to see. “Can we bring anything back?” He asked, kindly. They all smiled and declined.
“I’ll grab my purse,” I called, walking toward the back of the store.
Walking the three blocks to the deli, I held onto Tyler’s arm, as I usually did. We talked and laughed about our week, though we talked most days, we only caught up like this when we got together, face to face.
There was something underlying though, something in his eyes that I couldn’t read. I wanted to ask, but decided to wait until we had our lunch.
“All right, cookie, spill it.” Tyler said as we settled into the table.
“Spill what, my cookies?”
His raised brow and smirk was enough incentive to get me going, so I told him. I went through everything that had happened the day before, starting with my mom’s call, Zach, how Gavin had acted and even our plans for dinner the following night. Tyler sat and listened without interrupting, though when I told him how Zach had acted, Tyler’s jaw had tightened and I could sense the anger bubbling just under the surface.
“Sounds to me like Gavin wants more than just friendship.”
“You think? He texted me last night too, it seemed a little more flirty than friendly, I guess.”
Tyler agreed, but was distracted by something at the front door. When I turned to look, I saw Gavin’s smiling face as he led a beautiful woman with dark hair outside. I didn’t see her face, but with his hand on her back, guiding her, they seemed very friendly.
I stared toward the door for a few seconds, without saying anything. Tyler’s finger touched my chin and moved my head so I was facing him again.
“I guess it was just friendship.” I said, not feeling excited for our upcoming dinner anymore.
“Maybe, or, maybe there is a good explanation,” he responded, challengingly.
Shrugging as if I didn’t care, I moved the subject back to Tyler and what was going on with him.
As he told me how he and his new boyfriend, Marc, had talked about moving in together. I worked hard to focus on him and ignore the nagging pain in my heart from seeing Gavin.
Tyler thought that moving in together was a little too quick, he worried that the giant step would put a strain on their relationship that was only months old. I had to agree, I liked Marc, a lot, but he was a bit of a drama queen.
He’d already made up his mind to wait, to put Marc off for a few months, so now, he was just venting, which I was good with. Tyler was the type to need to talk things through, even if he’d already decided something and I was his favorite sounding board. Our friendship had lasted all these years because we were able to talk about everything.
Walking back to Indulgence, a sense of dread swept over me as I thought forward to my dinner with Gavin the following evening. I considered finding a way to cancel, but I wouldn’t do that.
Tyler wanted me to tell Gavin that we’d seen him, and see what he said. There was no way in hell I was doing that either. It wasn’t my business who he spent time with and I wouldn’t come off as jealous or immature, not ever again.
Having Gavin back in my life was great, I wanted to be friends with him again, but was worried about my feelings that were already rekindling, even with the little amount of time we’d spent together. I’d just have to wait and see if I could handle a completely platonic relationship with Gavin.
Walking out to my car that night, a man sitting on a Harley caught my attention. I didn’t know why my gaze flew to him. He seemed to be looking my way, but with his dark shades on, I couldn’t be certain. There was something really familiar about him, a distant memory teased my mind, it was really vague though, and I couldn’t get that old mental image to sharpen.
Chapter 4
Gavin
Leaving Dawn’s house Friday, I headed back to mom’s and allowed the rage to fill me, if just for the few minutes of drive time. Pulling up into the driveway, I noticed that Zach’s rental car was gone. I was able to stow my anger, just barely; I couldn’t put that kind of stress on my mom, she didn’t need to see that.
Sarah was still visiting, so I greeted her as benignly as possible, then asked to speak to my mom alone. I felt bad for taking her away from her friend, but needed to get to work later and didn’t have time to mess around.
The conversation was difficult, to say the least. I told her what I’d heard, and how Dawn had reacted. I was exceedingly proud of her for standing up for herself. She’d grown into a strong, self-possessed woman.
Mom cried as I explained about Zach’s behavior and the horrible things I’d heard him say. I hadn’t heard everything, which was probably for the best, but I’d heard enough. It looked really bad.
Mom and I were both concerned about him, and she was worried that he was behaving how my father did, before his death. I’d been almost six when Franklin McNeil had died, but Zach had been ten.
Zach had more years living under the unforgiving tyrant that our father was. He’d obviously been molded by the man, in more ways than either mom or I had realized.
She told me that Zach had packed his things and left, saying that he was going back to base. He was currently stationed in Northern California, and neither of us knew if he’d fly back there or stay here for a while longer. Apparently, he hadn’t told her how long his leave was, he’d been evasive, which in hindsight, worried us both. The military was nothing if not completely rigid. Obviously, there was more going on with him than we knew.
***
Then I pulled up to Dawn’s house Sunday night, she stepped out onto the porch, shut and locked her front door. She was stunning, in tight jeans, a black sweater that hugged her ample curves in all the right way and the sexiest heels, I’d ever seen, it took every bit of my control to not throw her to the lawn in front of her house and fuck her right there.
I slid out of my truck, and moved to her, helping her into the passenger side. She probably didn’t need my help, but putting my hands on her for those few seconds were worth the strange look she gave me. My dick was hard as a post, and as I walked back to the driver’s side, I adjusted myself, hoping she wouldn’t notice.
I was annoyed that she hadn’t let me come to the door and pick her up, like a proper date, but I had to keep reminding myself to go slow with her. Friendship, that’s what I wanted, for now. Then, after our relationship was strong again, I would press her for more. Hopefully, that woul
dn’t take long, because my resistance was all but gone.
Once we were seated in the restaurant, I noticed Dawn studying me. I let her for a few minutes, before I broke the silence.
“What’s up?”
Shaking her head, seemingly coming out of a trance, she said “I was wondering what happened with your mom on Friday.”
Fuck, that was not what I wanted to talk about tonight. My douche of a brother was the last thing I wanted Dawn to think about.
“I told her what Zach did, or at least the part I saw. He left before I got back, mom, said he went back to base.”
“Is she upset with me?”
My brow furrowed in confusion, “No, of course not, why would she be?”
“I didn’t know what Zach had told her, if he tried to blame it all on me. He told me that it would be my word against his.”
Reluctantly, I explained the rest of the conversation and she seemed to accept all I’d said. I even told her of our concern for Zach’s behavior, and how it resembled my father’s when we were young. Dawn’s concern diminished, thankfully and we were able to move on to easier topics.
Dinner passed quickly, far too quickly for my liking, but by the end of it, I knew I had to talk to her, to tell her what had happened when we were young.
“Dawn, the night of your birthday, I couldn’t -”
“No, Gavin, it’s okay. I don’t want to talk about that. We don’t need to rehash it.”
Completely confused, I wanted to press, wanted to explain the truth, just like I’d wanted to back then, but she wouldn’t let me. Maybe this wasn’t the time for that, but I felt that it was the time to press her for more, just a little bit.
There was an awkwardness between us after that, and I wondered why she didn’t want me to explain. Was she still angry with me? Maybe I shouldn’t have let it go back then, she wouldn’t see me, but I could have called or written to her. I could have, should have explained it to her. If I had, I imagined we’d be in a very different place now.
Would we be married? Maybe with a couple of kids? It was possible that she would have been willing to wait for me. Sadly, though, it was probable that things would have gone very wrong between us and we wouldn’t have anything, not even this now. I’d seen plenty of good relationships go bad, with the stress of multiple deployments.