Vicissitude Yang Side

by Destine Williams

  Like the living room, it’s been tidied up too. A blue polka-dot mug sits in the stainless steel sink, lit by the diffuse light coming in through the kitchen window.

  I pause next to the sink, studying the mug from a different angle. Isn’t that Mai’s mug? I could’ve sworn I saw that in Mai’s office. What’s it doing here? Maybe Mai’s been staying here? But why? Of everyone who heard of my mom’s death, Mai took it the worst. If anything, I’d think she’d want to avoid this place at all costs.

  Only one way to find out. I head back into the living room and go upstairs. If Mai really is staying here, she probably has stuff upstairs. Each step moans under my feet, when before they used to be silent. Claw marks gouge out thin strips in the walls, as if a beast had been struggling beneath the banister.

  No time to get distracted. You’re here on time limit. I continue up the stairs. Upstairs, the cuckoo in Dad’s old cuckoo clock permanently extends into the gloom. Every door up here is closed. I try the door, directly in front of the stairs, Kyo’s old room, but there's nothing in here besides stacks of moving boxes, the same ones from when Mom told me we were moving years ago. The Geisha must not have been using this place long if this hasn’t even been touched. I move onto the next room: my room.

  Unlike the rest of the house, a tornado clearly had a wrestling match with my room and won. Clothes are strewn all over the floor. My computer chair is on its back, wheels in the air. My old blankets are a rumpled mess on top of my mattress, exposing the old shoes and video game systems underneath. One of the sliding closet doors are off the metal track. The tea-colored curtains over the window hang awkwardly on their rods with shred marks running through them, as if someone clearly had a vendetta against box pleated style.

  I hesitate in the doorway. A knot builds in my throat. From the looks of things, it’s clearly not professional work, possibly not even human work, but that only makes it all the more of a problem.

  A bell chime beep stops my thought train.

  The mail is here already. I hurry back downstairs and check the mail chute beside the stair wall. I pick out a thin wad of envelopes from the sales papers and thumb through each one by one. Meh. Dental insurance. Credit card offers. Life insurance. The last envelope has the Geisha’s name on it as the recipient at this address. The sender, Jae Woo, is using his address by the looks of it. But that seems like such an ass-backwards way of sending a message. Why not just send it straight to the Geisha’s place, it’s not like he’s the one getting tracked down.

  I turn the envelope over on its back. Should I open it? I hesitate; I didn’t bring any kind of letter opener with me. And I really don’t want to leave any evidence that I was here, but—

  A tiny high-pitched plink comes from the piano. Then another and another.

  I drop the mail in my hands and whip around.

  No one is there, but the ivory keys on Mom’s piano dip and rise on their own. The radio on the stand next to it crackles to life. “Lo-ooo…I’m s-s-sor…”

  What the hell? It’s talking by itself?

  The radio static settles a little. “I lo… I’m s-s-so.”

  That voice…It's familiar. I angle my ear towards the piano and radio.

  "I love you. I'm sor…ry."

  That's Mom. I relax a little, but don’t take my eyes off the piano until it stops playing. It’s hard to believe that after all these years, a part of her still lives here and recognizes me. Should I say something to it? “Mom? Who killed you?”

  But the radio only repeats “I’m sorry” over and over again, until her voice dies away.

  I contemplate getting closer to ask again, but I think better of it. She’s not a person anymore. There’s no telling what could happen to you if you go near her. Yet, leaving her here doesn’t seem right either. If I paid more attention to her rituals, I’d be able to do something. “I’m sorry too, Mom.”

  The radio crackles for a few more moments. Then finally Mom says, “Dragon.”

  “Dragon?” I echo.

  “Stay away…dragon.” The radio cuts off.

  I scratch my head. “What do you mean?”

  But there’s no response from the radio.

  Damn. Guess I’m on my own figuring that out. I fold my arms. Maybe she meant “Stay away from a dragon?” or is she literally telling a dragon to stay away? I’m not a spirit expert, but the way I always understood earthbound spirits is that they’re stuck because of the circumstances of their death. Mom’s words could just be things that she thought when she was dying rather than a direct response to me. But either way, it’s still bizarre. Stay away from a dragon? I’ve barely come to terms with myself being part fox, and now there could be dragons running amok? Well, that would explain the undeserved violence toward my curtains. But on the other hand, that opens up way more questions than it answers. Unless, maybe she’s not talking about literal dragons, but then what could the “dragon” it be if it’s not a literal one?

  “…Still haven’t found anything on her case?” The Geisha’s voice breaks into my thoughts.

  A jolt fires through me. Shit! I’ve been here too long! I’ve got to hide. But where? I look around. There’s nowhere to hide down here. I sprint up the stairs to my room. I glance around. The closet. I hop over the fallen computer chair and squeeze behind the broken closet door. Jackets, shirts and pants’ legs sweep into my face and tickle my nose, but I manage to move all the way into the back and crouch. I hope that there’s no bugs in here.

  The door finally chuffs open downstairs, and I berate myself for not resetting the 220. That could’ve bought me some time to get out of here. With that open and the mail I dropped on the floor, I might as well have put up a neon sign that says I’m here. I should’ve tried jumping out the window.

  The house is completely quiet. I strain my new fox ears to try to pick up the Geisha’s movements, but I can’t hear anything except the palpitations thumping in my ears. Should I transform? If he finds me like this, who knows what he’ll will do to me. But on the other hand, if I do transform, and he doesn’t recognize me, that can backfire. After all, he’s still an assassin, he could be carrying a gun for all I know.

  Soft thuds fill the air. Footsteps.

  My stomach wrings itself into a knot.

  Creak! Rustle rustle!

  I hold my breath. He’s checking the bed.

  There’s a sigh. Then more rustling. He’s at the window. The room gets quiet once more. A shadow falls across the closet opening on the other side.

  My heart springs in my throat. Don’t look in here.

  The shadow stays there and the seconds scrape on into what feels like eternities. Then it moves away.

  Whew. Now to wait until—

  The closet door in front of me slides open, but it’s not the Geisha. It’s Mai. Her injured arm isn’t in its sling anymore, while her other hand has a pistol aimed at me. Seeing me, her eyebrows worm closer. She lowers the pistol immediately. “Good gods, child. I was two seconds away from shooting you. What the hell are you doing here?”

  I crawl out from the closet and stand up. As soon as I do, I find Genji standing in the doorway, his expression cool and unreadable. No doubt wondering why I’m not sick yet. “I heard this address was been used. What are you doing here?”

  Mai puts her pistol back into its holster. “Visiting.” Then she turns her stern gaze on the Geisha. “It was supposed to be at a secret location.”

  He looks wounded. “Mother I didn’t tell her anything! I didn’t think she’d come here.”

  Mai shakes her head. “It doesn’t even matter. Everything’s already been compromised.” Then she shifts her attention back to me. “Nothing we say here, ever leaves your mouth, you hear me? It’s bad enough that I’m in the city. But I don’t want you saying anything that can get you tracked too.”

  “Is that what the note is about?” I ask.

  Mai’s lips squish into a line. “Leave us for a minute, Genji.”

  His gaze flicks between
us, lingering more on me before he straightens up and says, “Very well.” He leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

  Once the door is closed, Mai waits for a few heartbeats before saying, “I know I haven’t been doing a lot of explaining to you, but these days even just knowing things you shouldn’t puts people at risk.”

  I close the closet door behind me. “From who?”

  “I don’t suppose you’ve heard of CRISIS-D, have you?”

  “I read about them in the weird note,” I say.

  Mai’s face quickly screws up in confusion. “What—Oh. That note. I’ve been wondering who gave it to you?”

  “I don’t know. It was some woman in a white hoodie at Ise Shrine. She didn’t give a name.”

  Mai tilts her head. “Amaterasu.” After a beat of quiet, Mai says, “I’m surprised you don’t remember her. She was around Hikari and me all the time when you were little.”

  I don’t say anything, slowly letting those words sink in. The name Amaterasu and Ise Shrine together in the same conversation has strong implications. Implications that I’m not sure I’m ready for. But after what happened with that snake at the shrine, Regi’s version of what happened that night, my turning into a fox, those claw marks on my curtains, and Mom’s spirit in the radio and the piano, denying the supernatural isn’t viable anymore. “Amaterasu the sun goddess?”

  The only words that come out of her are, “Be careful where you say that name. CRISIS-D might come after you if they think you’re associated.”

  “Is that what happened to Mom, then?” I stare at Mai, hoping that I’m not right, but Mai is quiet for way too long. “CRISIS-D were the ones who killed her?”

  The answer is in her sullen frown. “Your Mom…” Mai’s mouth opens and closes. Words don’t follow. She scrapes a hand over her face. “It shouldn’t have happened. She—”

  “Why?” I can’t stop the word from leaving my mouth. “Who are these people anyway? I—”

  Mai holds up a hand. “Hey, hey, calm down, Jun. You’ve got every right to be angry, but CRISIS-D is way more dangerous than Showguns. We’re a mafia, Jun, but they’re terrorists.”

  “What did they want Mom for then? She was just a shrine maiden.”

  “Yes, she was. But they weren’t looking for her, they were looking for you.”

  My arms go limp. “Me?”

  “Yes, you,” Mai says. “And they have been for years. Which is why it’s so important that you stay put and don’t draw attention to yourself.” Before I can ask another question, Mai says, “I don’t know what exactly they want to use you for. But I’ll be damned if I let them take you.”

  “You can’t be serious…” It’s one thing to have the Geisha on my back, but now this too? “So what do I do then?”

  “You do like I said in the note,” Mai says. “Keep doors and windows locked. Make sure Jin knows not to answer the door for anyone since CRISIS-D has been snooping around in Tokaido again. And watch your back. You got lucky years ago because you weren’t old enough to be put in the tracking system. If they catch you now, they can track you almost anywhere in the world.”

  My hands curl into fists. “That’s no way to live.”

  “You’re right.” Mai folds her arms. “That’s the way to survive, for now at least. Your Mom and I tried not to have you involved as long as we could.” Her shoulders droop. “But that might not be possible anymore after this.” She gestures to her once-injured shoulder. “If that’s really the case, then I’ll put you through to some contacts who can help. Until then…” She puts a hand on her hip. “I think it’s my turn to ask some questions. Number one: You heard this address was being used for what? And from who?”

  “I happened to ask Shig about this place,” I lie. “I heard it was being used for mail pickup, so I was wondering—”

  Mai’s lips flip into a scowl. “Of course.”

  I quiet. “Sensei?”

  Mai runs a hand through her hair. “It’s nothing to do with you. Don’t worry.” Without another word, Mai makes for the door. “Genji!”

  Uh-oh… I can only hope that Mai doesn’t do anything that will make my blackmail worse. I slowly tip my way downstairs. I catch the Geisha muttering something inaudible, but at the stair’s base Mai is shaking her head.

  “I want to see all of it,” Mai says. “Give it here, Genji.”

  The Geisha exhales through his nose and hands Mai the mail that I dropped earlier. As I reach the base of the stairs, Mai barks out a curt, “Don’t move. I’m not done with you, Jun.”

  Dammit. I slink to Mai’s side, hands in my pockets. The Geisha’s gaze keeps switching from Mai to the floor. For once, it feels like a thick concrete barrier is between us, making all words unwelcome. I’m pretty sure that if it weren’t for Mai standing here, he’d have gone off on me already.

  Mai files through each envelope, stopping at the last blue one. Her face pales, then flares to red. With a raised eyebrow, she says, “Ruthless, huh?”

  The assassin? The Geisha has been talking to him? “Ruthless?”

  “This doesn’t concern you.” Mai taps the envelope against her palm, staring expectantly at her own son. “Well?”

  He sucks in a breath. “Mother, I promise you it’s not what it looks like—”

  “It doesn’t matter what it looks like!” Mai snaps. “Do you know what Showguns can do to you for this?” She shakes the letter in front of his face. “Even if this shit just says hi, they’ll kill you.”

  The Geisha’s stance widens. “He’s my father. I just wanted to speak to him. I wasn’t going to keep doing it.”

  “I told you about this already. It’s not worth it. Not even once. And having it come here?” Mai’s foot taps the carpet. “Did you even consider that someone from Showguns could find out? Especially now that anyone can investigate Hikari’s murder?”

  He doesn’t respond, looking small and shrunken in the shadow of Mai’s anger instead of the arrogant asshole that ruined my career.

  And yet, looking at him, despite all he’s put me though, I don’t feel as good watching this as I thought I’d feel. I’m reminded more of the assassin conditioning sessions at Red Dragon Academy where they would make us watch live killings. Watching this feels like the very first session: painful to watch. I try to steel myself into feeling nothing. But the more I watch him and Mai, the more uneasy I start to feel. It used to be so easy to disconnect from those feelings, what’s gotten into me?

  Done with scolding, Mai stuffs the letter into the Geisha’s hands. “Get rid of it. I don’t care what you do with it, just make sure that it’s permanently gone.”

  He chokes out a quiet, “Yes, Mother” and retreats to the kitchen like quiet rat.

  Mai turns to me, reaching into the inside of her coat. “I’ve got something for you.” She pulls out a small white card that looks like a credit card with a raised tea cup and a phoenix design on the front. “I’ve got some buddies that are dealing with CRISIS-D right now, if you want to get involved or if you find yourself in trouble you can only get a hold of them if you’ve got this with you. But I’m still in the process of getting everything straightened out so you can use the card with no problems. In the meantime…” Mai moves over to the dining table where a beige totebag is sitting. “Since my phone isn’t working, I’ll have you take one of these.” She reaches into the tote and pulls out a walkie-talkie. “I know it’s an old-fashioned brick, but no one’s going to be tampering with this dinosaur. Keep it on you whenever possible, I can’t leave messages or text on this thing. I’ll try not to call in the middle of the—”

  “You’re giving her the walkie-talkie?” The Geisha’s voice startles me. He stands in the kitchen doorway, eyebrows close and furrowed. “I thought you were giving it to me so we could keep contact?”

  “Change of plans,” Mai says. “Jun’s situation is a little bit more important right now.”

  He clenches his fist. "Her situation is always more important, isn't it?"r />
  Mai's mouth opens, out of reflex, I think, because no words actually come out to follow up.

  "Ever since, she lost her mother, everything's always been about her!" He snaps.

  Mai jabs a finger at him. "Don't you dare turn this on me. Helping her out is the least I can do to make up for what happened to Hikari."

  His lip curls. "You'll keep contact with her and not your own son?" He straightens up. "Why am I even surprised anymore? You've always given her all the special treatment.” With that, he marches past us both and leaves.

  I wince.“I’m sorry. I didn't mean to—”

  “No. It’s not your fault. He’s always been like that and…” Mai grasps at her hair. “Well, just forget about it, there’s nothing anyone can do about it now.”

  “And Ruthless really is Genji’s dad?” I ask.

  Mai gives a slow bleary-eyed blink. “Mistakes were made.” She shakes her head. “But how do you even know about him?”

  “Ken mentioned him. He was talking about how Ruthless was never punished.”

  “Ah, yes.” Mai smooths her hair back into place. “There are conditions where Showguns isn’t permitted to kill assassins. If you’re found with certain medical conditions or gene combinations, it’s against protocol to kill you. Ruthless and the assassins that helped him fell under that loophole. But on top of that, the circumstances of the case made all of us hesitate. The Shogun before Ken’s dad was godawful. We didn't want to condone murdering the Shogun, but there wasn't a single one of us that wouldn't have been happy to see him gone.” Then her stare sharpens back into sternness. “But don’t you go getting any ideas about Ruthless. And any type of communication with him is grounds for death penalty.”

  “I wasn’t looking for him,” I say.

  “Good.” Mai checks her phone, reminding me that I should get going too. “And before I forget, if you ever have the chance, visit Ama at Ise Shrine. She can probably explain this CRISIS-D mess better than me.”

  Which reminds me, I need to go back for that gun I buried. I’d rather return it with my phone while my access card still has functionality. "I'll see if I have time. I've got work tomorrow."