by Sabre Rose
“Of course.” I started to follow but Tyler gripped my hand.
“Please,” he whispered under his breath. “Stay with me.”
I looked between him and his mother, torn. Diana folded her arms and looked at me expectantly until finally, Claudia placed her hand on Tyler’s arm, forcing him to release his grip of me.
“This way,” she urged. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on.”
By the time the kettle had boiled again and I had helped arrange cucumber sandwiches (which Diana assured me were Dante’s favourite) on a plate, Dante and Tyler were chatting easily in the lounge. Tyler’s eyes were bright. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he and Dante discussed their playing positions on the cricket pitch. Of course, they played the same position.
They laughed when Tyler asked which sports he played. Dante replied, “Rugby in winter,” and then they both added with the same tone of voice, the same mannerisms, “Cricket in summer.”
Claudia sat beside Tyler, leaving no room for me, so I moved to the only chair left spare, content to sit in the background. As much as I kept telling myself this was about Tyler, the way Claudia leaned into him and the way she threw looks my way had me worried that she didn’t feel the same. There was no way a 'Mr Claudia' was in the picture. I was afraid I was going to have to eat my words in regards to my scolding of Tyler’s jealousy. Just the way she was looking at him was driving me insane. And it didn’t help that she was gorgeous. She was tall, a lot taller than me. And skinny. And blonde. And beautiful. And she had given Tyler something I never could. A son.
But each time I looked at Tyler, all that worry faded. His eyes were fixed on his son. Everything about him gravitated towards the boy and it made my heart swell.
Dante was the same. It was like staring at the same person, years apart, facing their former and future selves. But Dante lacked Tyler’s seriousness. He was laid back and laughter fell out of his mouth easily. He was also a performer, many times rising to his feet to re-enact a story he was telling. He invited Tyler to his cricket game the next day and Tyler promised to be there. He wanted Tyler to meet his friends. He wanted to show Tyler his world.
It was late into the night when Dante asked how Tyler and his mother met, and it was Claudia who answered.
“Tyler and Jake came to stay for the holidays with Diana,” Claudia started.
“Jake?” Dante repeated. “Who is Jake?”
“Your uncle,” Tyler replied.
“I have an uncle?”
“You have two uncles, actually. Gabe and Jake.”
Dante grinned and nodded. “Sweet. When do I get to meet them?”
“Slow down,” his mother warned. “You’ve only just met your father. Let’s not go rushing into things.”
Dante shot Claudia a sharp look. “Rushing? You lied to me for years about his existence. I don’t think it’s possible to rush meeting your own family.”
Claudia swallowed her guilt and darted a look Tyler’s way.
“Hey,” Tyler said, reaching out to pat Dante’s knee. “I know what that’s like. My mother lied to me too and I wish I’d known about you earlier, but your mother is right. There is no need to rush anything. You’ve got me forever now.”
That made Dante grin and he sat back with his hands behind his head, crossing his legs at the ankles, reminding me so much of Tyler it hurt.
“Well,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at Claudia, his annoyance discarded quickly. “He came for the holidays and?”
Claudia let a smile spread across her face and turned to Tyler. “You should have seen him back then. He was quiet and serious and ever so innocent. He was such a good boy. I couldn’t help but want to ruin him a little.”
“Did you leave before you found out?” Dante asked, turning to Tyler. “Before you knew she was pregnant.”
Tyler glanced Claudia’s way before answering and she nodded her permission. “I knew she was pregnant but I thought you were someone else’s. Your mother faced a difficult decision and I was just a boy back then. I wasn't ready to be a father, even if I was never given the choice.”
Claudia reached out and took Tyler’s hand in her own. “Your father and I did what we thought was best.”
Surprise lit Tyler’s eyes and he pulled his hand away, but he didn’t correct her.
“So you knew this whole time?” Confusion passed over Dante’s face.
“No,” Tyler said firmly. “I never knew about you. I would have wanted to be part of your life if I had.”
Shaking his head, Dante looked between Claudia and Tyler. “I don’t understand. If you didn’t know about me, how could you know what was best for me?”
Claudia sighed. “It’s a long and complicated story, Dante, and one day I will tell it to you. But not today. Today all you need to know is that you have a father and a mother and we both want what is best for you.”
“But—”
“No buts!” Claudia said sharply. “It’s time for bed.”
“It’s only—”
“Bed now!” she ordered and then turned to Diana. “Is it alright if we stay the night here, Diana? I’m not sure I can handle going back to an empty house tonight and if Tyler isn’t going to stay…” She let her words fade and glanced my way as though it were my fault that Tyler insisted on staying at the hotel.
“Of course, my dear. You know you and Dante are welcome in this house whenever you want.”
Dante got to his feet, letting out a resigned sigh. “Fine. But you will still be here tomorrow, won’t you? You’ll come to my game in the morning?” he asked, turning to Tyler.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Tyler replied, getting to his feet. Dante’s eyes skipped around the room. “I’ve actually got a match on this Monday if you wanted to stay and—”
“Dante,” his mother warned.
“I know, I know. Bedtime. But I can’t believe you won’t even let me stay up when—”
“Goodnight,” she said firmly.
Dante grinned and pushed his hair back from his face. “Goodnight,” he said to everyone. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“It was wonderful to meet you, Dante,” I replied, returning the boy’s smile. “I look forward to seeing you in action.”
“Good. I’m worth seeing.”
I chuckled at his confidence as he walked over and threw his arms around Tyler, startling him for a moment before he returned the bear hug.
“Tomorrow,” he repeated as he clapped Tyler on the back. He tried to act casual but emotion caught in his throat as he uttered the words, “Night, Dad.”
Tyler looked over Dante’s shoulder as he hugged him, eyes shining brightly as they met mine. “Night, son.”
“Well,” Diana said as soon as the door closed behind Dante. “That went well. Don’t you think it went well, Claudia?”
“It would have been nice for you to back me up a little more, Tyler,” was Claudia’s reply.
“What?” Tyler replied. “I’m not lying to him. I’m not pretending that I knew he existed when clearly I didn’t. I won’t have the boy thinking that I deserted him.”
“Like you deserted your mother?” Claudia threw him a challenging look.
“My mother chose you over me.” Tyler’s voice was cold. “It wasn’t the same thing.”
“I did no such thing, Tyler,” Diana said quietly. “You are the one who avoided me for all these years. I’ve always been here.”
The tension in the room grew so thick I could taste it.
Tyler’s voice was quiet but controlled. “You lied to me for years, Diana.”
“I didn’t have to lie. I never saw you. Besides, it was what your father wanted.”
“And you’ve always done what my father wanted?”
“We agreed together that it would be what was best for you.”
“It wasn’t your choice to make,” Tyler growled.
“Don’t be too harsh on your mother, Tyler,” Claudia spoke up. “I know this
has been difficult for you, and I understand that you feel hurt by it all, but your mother has been there for me and Dante in ways I can never repay. She pulled her life together for us. She’s been here for us. She’s been more of a mother to me than my own mother has.”
“Well, I’m pleased she was a mother to you,” Tyler said bluntly. “I wouldn’t know what that felt like.”
Getting to my feet, I attempted to relieve the situation by suggesting we leave for the night.
“Yes,” Claudia agreed. “That might be best. I would also suggest you don’t attend Dante’s game in the morning,” she added, turning to me. “It would be good for Dante to spend some time alone with his family. It’s quite enough for him to wrap his head around having a father, let alone having to compete for his affection with the girlfriend.”
I waited for Tyler to object but he didn’t.
“Whatever you think is best,” I replied, swallowing the rising anger that I wanted to direct Claudia’s way. For Tyler’s sake, I wouldn’t bite.
“Till the morning then.” Claudia got to her feet and pressed a kiss to Tyler’s cheek. “I will see you at the game. I’ll text the address.”
It was only then that I truly grasped what it must have felt like for Tyler to see me with Gabe, knowing the history we had shared. Seeing him with Claudia was hard enough even knowing that their history was years in the past. If it had been more recent, I don’t know how I would have reacted.
22
LAUREN
“Do you think I’ve been too harsh on her?”
Tyler and I were lying in bed in the small hotel, Tyler with his back pressed to the headboard, hands behind his head. He had talked non-stop about Dante. I couldn’t recall so many words coming out of his mouth in such a short amount of time.
“Who?” I asked, struggling to keep up with his train of thought. So far I had heard a summary of every word that had come out of Dante’s mouth and every thought Tyler had on those words.
“Diana,” he said. Adjusting his position, he scooted down in the bed so he was closer to me and huddled into my side, his arm wrapping around my waist. “I always took Hamish’s word about who she was, the problems she faced. But now, when I think about it, I can only recall one specific story about her habit. And it came from Hamish. Maybe she was never as bad as I thought. Maybe I’ve blocked her out of my life for all these years because I blindly believed Hamish was telling the truth. What if all this time he was purposely trying to keep me from her so I wouldn’t find out the truth?”
He glanced up at me but I could tell he didn’t expect me to answer. His entire life had been turned upside down. It was natural for him to question everything. He was unable to lie still, his foot twitching against the restriction of the sheets, his fingers skimming my side. He only stayed like that a moment before throwing the bed covers off and getting to his feet. He started pacing the room, lip pulled between his teeth, eyes flicking restlessly.
“Why do you think she named him Dante? Why Dante? Did she have a thing for The Divine Comedy? Did she just like the sound of it?” He let out a frustrated sigh. “It fucks me off that I’ve had no say in his life. Not even an opportunity to have a say.” He stopped pacing and ran his hands through his hair, leaving it sticking up in strange places. "It was one thing learning I had a son, but it was quite another meeting him, seeing myself in him. It’s changed everything. I’d never thought about it before, you know? Never considered that I had a child out there in the world. It wasn’t even a possibility. The news of it hit me hard, but today, seeing him, meeting him, talking to him and realising there really is a part of me that exists that I didn’t know about, well I feel like I’m on top of the world. But there’s also this part of me that’s terrified. Where to from here? What does having a son mean for my life? What does having a father mean for him? How often will I be able to visit? How often would Dante even want to see me? Will he come to visit me in the city? Is there the possibility he’d ever want to live with me?” Tyler rubbed a hand over his face, leaving it covering his mouth as he let out a long breath of air. “Basically, I’m completely freaking out.” He kneeled on the bed, looking to me as though I had the answer. “I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t know what to do. I’m all excited and tight in my chest at the same time as feeling like I might be sick.” He looked over at me, his jaw working back and forth, thoughts running through his mind. “I think I might go for a run.”
Tossing the covers off and rising to my knees, I took his face between my hands, staring into the grey. His gaze flicked between my eyes, dancing from left to right. I moved closer, pressing my forehead against his and slowed my breathing. He stopped jostling. The rise and fall of his chest slowed until it matched mine and his gaze dropped to my lips.
“If you’re looking to expend a little energy, there is one way I can think of,” I said, biting my lip and releasing it slowly in an effort to show him my intention.
He rushed towards me, desperate to devour me with his lips, but I held him back, held him firm, our heads pressed together, our noses touching just the slightest bit. His eyes blurred in my vision with the closeness and I dipped my head to the side and pressed my mouth to his with the lightest of touches. The moan that escaped his mouth and bled into mine reverberated throughout my entire body. We kissed softly and gently, his mouth exploring mine as my fingers dug into his scalp, the controlled desire pulsating through us as a steady heartbeat.
The longer we kissed, the more desperate Tyler became. His hand wound into my hair, pulling me closer, forcing our mouths to collide in reckless passion. He tugged, jerking my head back as his mouth moved along my jawline and down to my neck. He sucked, moulding my flesh to his whim as my breathing quickened to panting. Teasing the lobe of my ear, he released my hair as his hands fumbled with my clothing, lifting the hem of my nightshirt up and over my head. And then his mouth was on my breasts, his attention changing from one to the other, not wanting to leave any part of me untouched. Pushing him back, I climbed onto his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist as his head dove between my breasts, his arms pulling me closer, tighter. His erection pressed against me, hard like steel, and I pushed against it, eliciting another moan to fall from his mouth.
“I needed this,” he said, his words mumbled by my flesh. “I needed you.”
Standing with me still wrapped around him, he turned and lowered me to the bed. Space invaded between us and I almost cried out at the lack of him, but he pushed down his pants, freeing himself, and climbed over me and everything felt right again. Running his hands down my sides, I lifted my hips, allowing him to push down my shorts, my underwear. Then he lay over me, every inch of me covered by his body, his cock hard and heavy between us. He rocked slowly and his hardness slid over my wetness. Reaching between our bodies, he guided himself inside. I gasped, arching as he filled me. Pushing himself in fully, he held himself in place as I squirmed, adjusting to his length and clenching around him. Gripping onto my chin, he lowered the tilt of my head so I looked him in the eye. And then he went back to rocking, slow and gentle, in and out, his gaze never leaving mine. Pushing himself further up my body, he pressed our foreheads together again, our mouths meeting in a messy fumble of passion.
He stayed like that. Slow and gentle. Rocking back and forth until my need grew. Feeling the intensity rising within me, Tyler drew back to look me in the eye again. I arched towards him, my head rolling back but he gripped my chin again.
“Look at me.” He pushed in fully and held himself there until I obeyed. “Don’t look away,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to my lips. “I want to see you.”
It was almost too much looking into his eyes. The closeness of him. The feel of his skin pressed against mine. Our connection. Sparks of desire began to burst like fireworks at the innermost part of my being. They built, rising within me until they exploded and I shattered beneath him. Forcing my eyes to remain open, the sparks reflected in his gaze, my body tight and taut as finally the f
ireworks subsided and I softened beneath him, feeling as though I was melting into the mattress. It was only then that he moved again. Just a single thrust of the hips and he came undone, his lip caught between his teeth, his eyes resisting the urge to roll back in his head and remaining fixed on mine instead.
When he finally breathed again, when his body softened, he pressed his lips against mine again before collapsing against me, our hearts beating in unison.
“I needed that,” he repeated as he rolled off and lay back on the bed, spent and content. He only lay still for a few moments before twisting over and laying one arm across my waist. “What about you?”
“What about me?” I repeated.
“How are you feeling about all of this?”
Reaching down, I ran my fingers over his shoulder, then up into his hair, pushing it back from where it hung over his forehead. “I think it’s amazing. I think Dante is amazing and you’re amazing and I’m so happy for you.”
A flicker of doubt passed over Tyler. “Are you sure?”
“What’s not to be sure about?”
“Well, for one thing, it’s not just about you and me anymore. I want Dante to be part of my life, part of our lives.”
“And that’s what I want too. There is no way I would ever keep you from your son.”
He sat, his back pressed against the headboard once again, his chest bare and his hard stomach on display. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. “Are you sure? This changes things. You never asked for this.”
I let annoyance press my brows together. “Of course I’m sure. What sort of a question is that?”
“But what about—” Tyler cleared his throat and adjusted his position so he could better look at me. “What about kids of your own, our own?”
My gaze flicked away from his. “You know I can’t have children.”
“But do you want to? There are other options we could consider.”