His eyes flashed for a moment and it almost looked like he was angry, but then he relaxed and said, “I’m sure if she thought it was nothing, it was. Maybe you were just tired.”
Why was it starting to feel like I was the only one not in on some secret? Ashley’s weird new friend, Caroline and James reacting in the same way about out-of-the-ordinary things, it was all very odd. I’d been reading too much lately. That’s what it was. I was looking further into everything than I needed to be looking into them. I shook it off and went to pour two drinks. I grabbed a wine and handed James a beer since we still had a ton left over.
“I thought this was our secret, by the way,” he smiled, distracting me from continuing the conversation.
“I changed my mind. It was my secret after all.” He returned my grin at that.
I had expected James to sit close to me, but he sat on the opposite end of the couch. That didn’t seem normal.
“What are you majoring in, James?” I asked, realizing I still didn’t know anything about him.
James had taken out his phone and was furiously texting away. He finished before looking up at me.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m sorry. I had to take care of something. I’m done. Everything is fine.”
He shut his phone and looked up with a smile. It was a real smile, not the side one I’d seen before. My heart started pounding again. This guy was beautiful and I was going to be in big, big trouble soon, if I wasn’t already.
“I’m just in general business. I don’t know what I want to do yet.”
He didn’t ask me my major or really continue the conversation. We kept talking, but not once in the evening did he reach out to touch me or put his arm around me or make a move in any way. This was a first for a college guy in my experience, limited as it was. Usually they assumed “hang out” meant “take me I’m yours.” So I was surprised that he wasn’t being the typical jerk I was used to. Part of me wanted him to do something, though., I guess it was sweet that he was more reserved.
He finished his beer and said he should be heading home, and that he’d had had a fun evening.
“I’ll see you Monday? I’m guessing everyone gets together at some point.”
“Yeah, we do. Normally, we all eat lunch together. See you Monday.”
I locked up and headed to my room. Why hadn’t he made a move at all? At least when he left, I assumed he would have done something. He didn’t even ask to exchange numbers. He must just need a friend.
Oh my gosh, I’m such an idiot! Of course he needs a friend. He’s only got the hockey team. Riley must talk about how close he and I are and James probably figures I’d be a good person to know. I am reading too much into the other things, like flirting. Riley flirts with me all the time and that doesn’t mean anything. James must have seen our interactions and thought since he was the same way, we’d be friends. I’d just have to get over the butterflies nonsense.
Chapter 5
The best thing for me when I need to think is a long run. The best thing when I need to talk things out is a long run with Caroline. Stretching out, I decided that a run would be perfect. Was Caroline awake yet? I put my running clothes on quickly.
This first weekend back had proven to be bizarre. I knew it’d be different since it was the kick off of the last year, but I didn’t think I’d be so all over the place. A run should clear my thoughts and help me figure out what was going on inside my head. I left my room and saw Caroline’s door was closed. I was surprised she was sleeping this long.
Walking into the kitchen, I saw a mug with a foaming latté in it that said, “Heat Me.” Underneath was a note: Hey Sweetie – spending the day with Nick before he heads back home to get his stuff. See you tonight – Care. So, she hadn’t slept in.
Well, a run by myself would still be nice, I thought. I set the coffee in the fridge for when I got back and grabbed my iPod. I clicked my 30-minute quick mix and locked the front door behind me as I headed out to clear my head. There was so much to think about, I didn’t even know where to begin.
Ashley’s new boy was clearly crazy. Cornering me like that by the trash? Who does that? Something was up with Devon.
Then there was James who had come to my rescue. He was so hard to read. He was so freaking hot, but if he didn’t make a move on me, clearly there wasn’t any point in pining after him. I mean, it wasn’t like we’d spent a ton of time together. I’d only known him for three days. Maybe he really was just overprotective of females, which was why he helped me with Devon and why he felt the need to keep me company when I was tired. Why else would he have come out there to the dumpster when he’d seen Devon follow me? And why would he stay in on his first Saturday night here at a new college?
He might have seen Devon follow me out and got concerned that Devon wasn’t one of the guys in the group and I shouldn’t be left alone with him. That made more sense than James just happening to come outside to follow me.
Then there was Caroline. She and Nick were happy. It was a bit off, though, because it seemed like they had been together for a long time the way they acted. She told me she just met him this summer, and it was plain as day that they were already crazy in love. She had hidden her love interest at first. Maybe they had met earlier than just recently? Or, maybe it had begun at the beginning of the summer, so they had been together longer than I thought. Wasn’t that a bit early? They always watched each other. If she wasn’t with him, she was at least aware of where he was and vice-versa, at least that’s what it had seemed like this weekend. It wasn’t that they were overly affectionate, either. They just had that simple, classic, love story thing going on. It was adorable.
Then there was that conversation I’d overheard Friday night. It sounded like she was talking about families. I hadn’t really heard Caroline talk much about her family, to be honest. She had generic things she’d said about her parents, but nothing detailed. She’s an only child, so there weren’t any siblings to discuss. I’d never even met her parents. We were usually always at my house over breaks, except once. We went to Caroline’s house, however her parents had been out of town. Had she been talking about her father or Nick’s father that night? Whoever’s father it was, she seemed pretty upset when she came in. Thoughts were going around and around in my head.
I ran through Main Street, the edge woods behind our complex and town, and got lost in my thoughts. I started losing track of time. I came to when I realized I was listening to MMBopp. Yes, MMbopp, it’s a great workout song, for the third time. Over an hour run and I’d clearly needed it.
When I turned a corner to take myself back to the apartment, I made a decision about three things. One, I was staying away from Devon. Two, Caroline and Nick were happy in love and that was good enough for me. Who cares if it had been such a short time? It wasn’t like there was a time stamp on how long it was supposed to take. It was love, for crying out loud! Three, I wasn’t going to be a desperate, love-struck fool in front of James any more. I didn’t know anything about him, and, if he was interested, let him come to me. I didn’t need to have him around. I felt revived. I got home, heated my delicious latte, and decided to do some work around the house so that I could at least feel like I was a little productive.
I cleaned the house from top to bottom. After last nights party, our apartment was in need of some elbow grease. Then, I set about organizing myself for the new classes that would be starting the following day. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I only had two classes. One class was Psychology and the other was Human Intimacy. While I wasn’t in a relationship, it didn’t hurt to learn some things for the future. Plus, I heard it was a fun class and hard to get into since so many people took it as an elective. I was finished with almost all my major classes and really just had electives left and some general education classes left that I’d pushed back as much as possible, hence the Psychology class when I was a senior.
Psychology was at 9 and Human Intimacy was at 11. I needed to see w
hen our group lunch date was going to be. We’d started doing group lunch Mondays to kick off our week back at the beginning of our first year. I had a feeling this year, since the work load was lighter on everyone, that it would be more often than that eventually, but for now, tradition couldn’t be broken. I’d kept noon open for that exact reason. Plus, James seemed to know about the lunch tradition already, and that meant he’d probably be there.
No, wait. Rewind, I thought to myself. I don’t care if James is there. Yes, I was going to focus on myself and what I needed, and it was going to be a great year.
Caroline got home late that night. We ate dinner and plopped down onto the couch to catch up for a little bit before hitting the sack.
“How was the weekend with Nick?” I asked.
“Magical as always,” she said, dramatically. I threw my pillow at her.
“So, is he transferring for sure?”
“Mmhmm, it looks that way. He picked up some paperwork and is going to apply. Hopefully he’ll hear soon. I heard it is pretty easy to transfer in. Apparently, not many people want to transfer in, especially as seniors, most transfer out. He was talking to James about the process yesterday at the party since he’d just done it. James seemed to think it wouldn’t take long at all.“
“Caroline, that’s awesome! Senior year sweethearts!” I winked at her.
“How was hanging out with James last night?”
“Fine. Nothing happened that you’d find worthwhile.” I grinned at her.
“Nothing? Wait, nothing at all? What did you do all night?”
“We went on a walk and then came back here for a drink and he left. That was it. What?”
Caroline was frowning as if she were confused by something. “I just assumed that he would have tried something. Huh. Oh well, give it some time. It’ll work out.”
Ever since we met him, Caroline had acted strange every time James had been brought up. I wasn’t following it, but then again, this was the first time we’d been in a situation where I actually had a crush on someone without having to be coerced into liking them. This could be how it normally was with friends.
We brought up plans to meet for lunch the next day, and I headed to bed. I had been tired all weekend. My body must just be adjusting to staying up late again. I felt like I had slept a lot with all the naps I’d taken. It could be that the stress of coming back had gotten to me. I’m glad everything was worked out in my head after a day to myself. It was so much easier to make decisions when I had my thoughts straight. I was asleep quickly again for the third night in a row.
Psychology the next day made me feel old. That’s what I get for waiting until my senior year to take a freshman class. At least it seemed like it was going to be pretty easy. I did enjoy the people watching I got to do. It was fun to watch the eager young students who were just coming to college. They were scattered throughout the classroom.
I could tell who had been in what cliques in high school, and it was quite entertaining to witness. Each person sat in their seat, still holding on to the persona they had from wherever home had been. There were the book smart girls, the jocks who just sat leaning back in their chairs, still thinking they were all that, the clowns who planned out what joke they were going to try and make next. It would leave them eventually. People started to blend together in college and do more of their own thing instead of the stereotypical thing, which made things much better, in my opinion. Of course, there were always bound to be people, like Ashley, who thought that cliques never really died and drama and popularity were the most important things in the world. Sometimes I felt sorry for those people.
I grabbed a coffee during my break and decided to head to the Human Intimacy classroom early to start reading the Psych homework. The more that got done in between classes, the less I actually had to do at home. The room was empty, and I sat down in a seat towards the back. I always liked sitting towards the back, leaving a few rows behind me for the people who really don’t pay attention. That way I wasn’t a total slacker and I wasn’t up front sucking up. I was right in the middle where students tended to be left alone. I had worked that out my freshman year after being called on for answers quite a bit by teachers for answers when I sat in the back corners of the classrooms.
The room started filling up with students slowly trickling in, probably from having been let out early from their first classes. I didn’t recognize anyone. None of my friends had mentioned being interested in this course, so I wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew walking in. I looked over to the door, then back at my book a couple of times when people would walk in, but then stopped as I zoned everything out to read. I am extremely good at focusing.
A voice towards the front of the room snapped my concentration in an instant, though. I noticed the professor had come in and was standing at the podium. The voice had come from the student he was talking to. The voice melted me from the inside out. It was James. Only James was speaking in a different tone and the professor was staring at him, dumbfounded. What was wrong with him?
James voice was lower now and I couldn’t really hear what he was saying specifically. The professor nodded his head and started writing something down without even looking at the paper his pen was moving on. James stood for a moment longer, and then backed away.
I jerked my head back to the paper in front of me. What had that been all about? I tried to sneak a peek back towards the professor and noticed that he was shaking his head slightly, but was continuing to rummage through his papers.
My eyes scanned the aisle to see if James was going to actually be in the class or not. We made eye contact from across the room and he grinned at me. Sure enough, he was surrounded by girls fawning over him, just as I’d predicted he would be. He smiled kindly at them and looked like he was excusing himself, then started heading my way. Well, this was certainly a surprise.
“Hey,” he said softy, sitting in an open seat next to me. “Do you mind if I sit here?”
“It would probably be a bit awkward for me to say no and make you scoot around all these people to find a new seat at this point.” I smiled over at him. He leaned back, looking at me and shaking his head.
“Your kindness is astounding.” He flashed me a sex-on-a-stick like grin.
Today, he was wearing a gray shirt with a black zip up and jeans. It was unfair how handsome he was. He had been in dark colors each time I had seen him and it definitely suited him. Did he know that?
“Do you know the professor?”
“What?” He looked at me like I was crazy.
“Oh, I mean, I saw you talking to him at the beginning of class. It seemed like you all were having an in-depth conversation.” I shrugged.
“I was just making sure I was on his list. I got in last minute.” He smiled over at me again.
“I was on a wait-list for a year. You’re lucky.” I beamed back at him.
James didn’t respond to that, but just kept the smile on his face and turned towards the front of the room. I was sure he wasn’t lying about knowing the professor, but their interaction had been strange.
When we were halfway through the allotted class time, and having read through the entire syllabus, the professor decided to let us go early since it was our first day. While reaching for my bag with my books in it, my hand brushed against James’. He had leaned in at the same time I had.
“I can get this for you.”
The thudding sound in my ears told me how heavily my heart was beating. It was the first time someone besides Riley offered to help me with my bag. I flushed, smiled, and nodded my consent.
We headed towards the lunch meeting with everyone. On the way, our paths crossed that of Ashley and Devon. I hesitated and felt a slight pressure on my lower back. Turning towards James, I noticed it was his hand. Perhaps Devon had gotten under his skin, too.
“Hey guys! What are you two doing?” Ashley gave me a wink as if she thought she’d caught James and me out as a couple. Ha! I wanted to say I w
ish, but I kept quiet.
“Heading to lunch, are you coming?” My voice came out much harsher than I meant it to, but with Devon’s eyes boring into me, it was hard to focus.
“Oh, I almost forgot. Silly me, I’ve been so busy lately.” Her hands roamed over Devon’s chest as if trying to remind him who he was with.
I almost gagged at the thought of the two of them alone and what went on behind closed doors. James’ grip tightened on my shirt. The thought of him feeling protective towards me made me smile. My lips pursed into a fake smile, which was highly unlike me.
Devon’s attention finally went to Ashley, only it was worse than his attention not being on her. His hand slid down her lower back way too low for being appropriate in public. His eyes flicked back to me as if he knew it would make me uncomfortable. What the heck was his problem? The action caused Ashley to snap back into smiling and acting like a snob.
“So where are we going?” she asked giggling.
“Um, I think Caroline had said Riley wanted it to be Timber Café. You know, go back to the same place we did freshman year. He‘s being sentimental all of a sudden.”
Ashley laughed. “He has always been sentimental. He’s a romantic.” Riley? A romantic? That was funny. He talked about his conquests more than all the other boys. At least he did to me, and last time I checked, romantics were more reserved when it came to that sort of thing.
James pushed my back, leading me away from Ashley and Devon and towards the café where we would meet the rest of the group for lunch. Ashley and Devon were in front of us, and he put his arm around her, leaning in whispering something. A couple seconds later, she turned around to face me.
“I just had a blonde moment and forgot I can’t do lunch. Devon and I have plans. I’ll see ya’ll later though.” They left us standing there confused.
I turned to look at James and he shrugged and asked, “Shall we?”
We kept walking, mostly in silence. His hand was no longer resting on my back now that Devon wasn’t around. I wonder if he knew Devon somehow? Their interactions still didn’t make much sense to me. I reminded myself of the mindset I had laid out where if James wanted to talk or make a move, he would have to be the one to start it. I was perfectly content at the way we were, which was sort-of friends.
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