by A. Gorman
Gavin: Please. Let me help.
Bernadette: I’ll text you tomorrow.
Gavin sent a dozen more text messages as he sped toward her house. He shouldn’t have been texting, but she wasn’t answering the phone—worse it was all going straight to voice mail. She had probably shut off the phone. He pulled up in front of her house and sprinted to the door. He banged on the wood and screamed her name.
“She’s not home, mister.” The elderly neighbor next door shouted to him. Gavin turned and ran to the end of the porch closest to the old man. “She left about noon. She was crying, bad.”
“Did she tell you where she was going?”
“Nah, we’re not friendly like that. Just neighbors.”
“Shit.” He slammed his hand on the railing. “This is not the time for her to disappear.”
“Not with that storm coming now, no. You’re right.” He pointed up. “Hurricane sky. Only looks like that when there’s a huge storm brewing.”
Gavin looked up and saw he was right. It was the stratocirrus clouds with the puffy dark cumulus spotting the sky below. It was only when a hurricane was coming that the sky ever looked like that. He paused, and yanked out his phone, pulling up the NOAA website.
There on the front was a notification saying that Hurricane Jill had sped up. Landfall was now expected in 24 hours.
He had to get back to the store. They would have to stay open all night. And that also meant that he didn’t have time to look for her. He ran down the stairs and over to the neighbor and held up his card. “Can you please call me if you see her? Or hear anything from her?”
“Sure. But we’re probably going to lose power from this storm.”
“I am more than aware of that.” Gavin sighed, and headed back to the store, at a loss for what to do. If she didn’t want to be found, he wasn’t sure what he could do to find her. They’d been dating ten days, it wasn’t like it had been a lifetime.
But that’s what he wanted.
Fuck.
* * *
It was just about six in the morning when a wild-eyed man walked in with the same flame-color hair as Bernadette and made his way to the front desk.
“Is there a Mister Gavin Schwartz here?”
Gavin nodded. “I’m Gavin. How can I help you?”
The man looked hugely relieved. “You gave your card to Bernadette’s neighbor and asked him to call you.”
“I did. Do you know where she is? I’ve been trying to call her for hours.”
“We haven’t heard from her since yesterday afternoon. Her mother and I came down here when she didn’t answer her house phone last night. We’ve been hoping she’d come back to the house, but she hasn’t.”
“I haven’t heard from her.”
He pulled out his phone. “We’re terrified she’s going to do something unwise.” He held up the screen so Gavin could read the text.
Bernadette: Bad news. Need time.
Frank: Tell me.
Bernadette: I need time. The ocean always helps me. I’ll text.
Gavin ran an exhausted hand through his hair. She was hiding. He was also afraid that she was going to do something foolish—he’d had to remind her three or four times that he wasn’t there to pity her, that she had to stop pushing him away.
“You’re her father?” Gavin finally managed.
“Yes, I am. And we are worried to death about her. She’s been distant…”
“I know, it’s been hard to get her to open up to me. I…”
The ocean always helps me.
Shit. He knew where she was.
“What’s the latest on the hurricane?” He didn’t mean to snap the words at poor Patty, but he couldn’t help it at that point.
“Coming in this evening, outer bands are starting to rain on Cape May, and the winds are picking up. They don’t expect the heavy rain and winds up here until later, but the surf has really, really kicked up.” Patty slapped a piece of paper in front of him. “So says NOAA.”
“Sir, I think I might know where she is. But you have to trust me to get her. I swear to you, I will text you as soon as I have her safe, but you have to trust me. You have a key to her house?”
“That’s where we are.”
“Stay there. The hurricane is going to start shutting everything down in a few hours, and I can’t say we’ll be back by then. Just hunker down and wait for us.”
“You’re sure you don’t need my help.”
“I’m not even sure I can get her to take mine.”
He turned to Patty, and she was already waving him away. “We got this boss. We’re good. There’s not much left in the store, and we’ll have to start turning people in away. Gio is in again in twenty minutes. I don’t think that we’ll have much to handle between.”
Gavin nodded and texted himself from Frank’s phone. “There. You have my number, and I have yours. I’ll text or call as soon as I can.” He grabbed his messenger bag and ran for the door.
* * *
Most of the island was leaving while he was trying to get in. There were a few other trucks with him, probably going to board up houses and try to move things to top floors so if they were flooded, they wouldn’t lose everything.
He managed to skirt the cops a few times, who had their loud speakers blaring that people should evacuate or shelter in place on the top floors of their houses. Gavin made it up the boulevard, all the way to Harvey Cedars when the first of the rain started falling.
He’d gone back to his house to grab a few things and stopped at Nadi’s house to pick up a fresh set of clothes for her. He had the feeling that where she was, she wasn’t very dry at the moment. Once her mother had packed the bag, Gavin was back out the door and heading for Long Beach Island.
The rain wasn’t heavy, yet, but every glimpse he saw of the ocean was wild and dangerous. It was gray and white and whipping in the wind, the tide growing closer to the shore each moment, the grains of sand starting to strain down the beach.
The north end of the island was deserted, and there was no sign of the low, warm October sun. There was a cop car sitting at the entrance to the national landmark part that was the Barnegat Lighthouse—Ol’ Barney. He drove by and parked in front of the restaurant, making sure the cop couldn’t see him. He jumped out and used the back entrance around the other side of the restaurant, that wasn’t really a secret, but no one had bothered to block off. He was running into the wind, and the sand was stinging his legs as he did. But the wild water in the inlet was high, higher than he had ever seen it before and the waves were crashing into each other before crashing into the sea wall. He knew the channel was right there, just a few dozen yards off the seawall, and the water rushed through into the bay, threatening to flood everything behind it.
God, he hoped he was wrong, and she wasn’t here.
He ran as fast as he could down the sidewalk, which eventually rounded the outside of the old lighthouse and led out to the jetty.
There, silhouetted against the gray sky and violent sea, was the figure of a woman. Entirely too far out on the jetty to even be remotely safe from the waves and wind—especially with her foot. He ran again, passing the railing and ignoring the park ranger that was screaming at him from the beach.
It was clearly Bernadette by the way she swayed against the wind. She stumbled over her own foot time and again, walking further out toward the end.
“Nadi! Nadi stop!” The wind spit his words back at him, whipping them out into the channel instead of toward her. “Nadi! Please stop! What are you doing!?”
She still didn’t hear him and kept walking. She was near the end of the beach, where the water would be on either side of her, and the jetty started to narrow. The rocks would grow more trecherous, and there was almost no doubt in his mind that she would lose her footing and hurt herself badly.
Forgetting his own fears about being trapped between the massive boulders that redirected the ocean and shifting sand, he sprinted as hard and as fast he could to
ward her. He screamed her name into the wind, hoping that the wind would show mercy on him for just a moment that she could hear him.
But just as he feared, a gust of wind buffeted the flame-haired woman, and she lost her balance, her good foot missing its mark and her bad one losing its grip on the rock she was standing on.
He wasn’t close enough to catch her. She slammed down on her back, the bad leg folding under her like a straw, her shoulder stopping her head from hitting the rock, but her other leg sliding along the sharp edge of the rock. The wind brought her scream right to him.
Finally, Gavin was close enough and slid in next to her, yanking her back to get the pressure off the bad foot and cradling her head in his lap.
“Goddamn it, Nadi.”
Bernadette was crying so hard she could barely breath, hiccoughing and hyperventilating all at the same time. Gavin pulled her back on the boulder, away from the edge so he could get a look at the slice there—which from where he was looked more like a road rash than anything else.
“Bernadette. What the fuck were you thinking?”
She shook her head back and forth. “I don’t want them to take my foot. I don’t want them to. I want to keep it. I want to fix it. Make them fix it. I want to walk on the jetty again, I want to walk. I want to clean my fucking dishes and walk in the mall. Don’t let them take my foot.”
He hauled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. “You damn fool. You could have died out here. We have to get off this jetty. There’s a hurricane right there”— he pointed to the south—”and we’re going to be lucky if we don’t get arrested.”
“Just leave me here. Let the water take me.”
“No. Never. Come on. We’re getting off this pier of death.” He planted her on the boulder and stood. Gavin held out his hand, and Bernadette shook her head no. “Either you stand, or I carry you.”
“Let me go. Let the hurricane have me.”
He bent down and hauled her to standing. She screamed when the bad foot touched the ground. She wasn’t going to be able to walk on it, so he bent over and tossed her over his shoulder, hoping he could keep enough of his balance to get them back to the concrete.
“What are you doing?”
“The sky is going to open up and drown us both. You can’t walk, and I’m not letting you die. Someone warned me the hurricane sky was looming, and I should have realized the storm was already here, with you. We’re getting out of here, and we’re going to deal with this together. I’m in this for real, Nadi, and I won’t lose you.”
“Let me go!” She started to pound her fists on his back. “Put me down! If you take me back, they’re going to take my foot.”
“So you let the ocean take your life instead? Your whole life? All the good you did in the camp in Iraq, and you’re going to let this be the thing that ends your life? You’re a nurse. You’re supposed to help people. Help yourself first. I’m not going to argue with you in the rain and wind. We can fight when I get you somewhere dry.”
“Let me go!”
“No! Fucking no, Bernadette! Get that through your head!”
“I want my foot.”
“Let them take the foot! Keep your life!” They reached concrete that capped the jetty along the sea wall and placed Nadi on the railing so he could get a better grip on her. “Nadi, please. All the good you can do as a nurse.”
“I can’t be a nurse without my foot.” He couldn’t tell if her face was wet from the rain or the tears. “I need my foot.”
“You really think they are going to leave you without anything to walk on? They are going to give you a prosthesis. You aren’t going to have to be in a wheel chair. I’ve done a lot of research on this, and you’re not going to be left with a stump and no support. Of course, they are going to help you.”
“I want my foot.”
“I want you alive. I want you pain free. I want you to work again, walk again.” Gavin put a hand on her face. “Come on. The hotel was still open on the way here. Let’s go get dry. I don’t know if we’re going to be able to get off this island before the storm hits. You have to get out of these wet clothes.”
Nadi slumped on the railing and said nothing. Gavin picked her up and slung her over his shoulder again and turned to find the ranger running at him from the direction of the lighthouse.
“You got her?” he yelled the words over the ocean, the wind, and rain.
“I got her. I’m taking her to the Light Inn. Are they still open?”
“Yes, for the rangers and the police, just in case. I’ll radio ahead for you.”
“Thanks.” Gavin headed down the jetty again, with a silent Nadi on his shoulder.
Chapter Eight
Pushing the door open, Gavin walked in with Nadi next to him. He helped her as she limped into the room, draped around Gavin’s shoulder.
Carefully, he put her down on the bed and closed the door against the rain and the wind, dropping the bag on the floor. He was glad he’d thought to wrap the whole thing in a garbage bag to keep it dry.
Nadi looked horribly sad, and that hurt Gavin’s heart. He sat next to her on the bed and took her hand. It was limp as he held it, and he knew she was lost in thought and feeling hopeless.
“Bernadette. Why?”
He couldn’t think of much more to ask than that.
She shook her head. “They are going to take my foot.”
“You’ve been trying for months to fix it, and it’s not getting corrected. If this is what the doctors think will help you, let them. It’s not the outcome you wanted. It’s not the one either of us wanted, but you’re a nurse. You trust the doctors to know what they are doing.”
“I can’t walk without a foot.”
“You can barely walk with it, Nadi. I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear, but you slipped on the rocks and nearly got yourself killed.”
“I wanted to walk out to the water one last time.”
He cocked his head and considered her. “Why would it be the last time?”
“You can’t roll a chair out there.”
“This is why I wanted to go with you to the appointment, sweetheart. I wanted to ask what their plans were after. What rehab you needed, what would happen with a prosthesis? You’re assuming the wrong things. Tell me how your foot feels right now?”
“Horrible. Painful. It’s screaming at me, and I want to take a pain killer.”
Grabbing her purse off the floor and he opened it and found the prescription bottle of pain killers, and tapped out one of them. “Here. Water?”
“Just ring it out of my clothes.”
He snorted and headed to the bathroom, where there were two wrapped plastic cups. A moment later he headed back to the water. “Take that. Please. I also want to clean out that road rash on your leg. You’re probably cold too and should take a shower or a bath.”
“Why are you here? Why did you come after me?”
Gavin’s eyebrows rose. “Why wouldn’t I? Haven’t I told you that I’m not going to be pushed away from you?” Pausing, and watching her take the medicine he continued. “Your father found me and told me that you weren’t talking to them either. Nadi, they love you, and they were worried beyond belief. They are waiting at your house for you. I texted your dad to tell him I had you safe.”
Nadi ran a hand down her face. “I didn’t really go out there to kill myself, Gav. I didn’t. I just wanted to prove to myself that the doctor was wrong, and my foot could stay.”
“What did you find out?”
“They’re right. It’s a mess. There’s no strength. There’s also the beginning of another infection. They have to clear that up first. The one incision didn’t heal correctly, and there’s no more bone to fuse.” Her whole body shook from a shiver.
“We need to warm you up.” Gavin stood and tore the trash bag open to get to the duffle. “Get out of those clothes. I can run you a bath or a shower, your choice.”
“Bath. I can’t stand until the medicine kicks in. It�
��ll be better to clean out the road rash.”
He put a robe and fresh panties on the bed for her and walked into the bathroom, turning the water on full force. Nadi puttered in a moment later with a serious hobble and sat on the toilet lid. She studied him for a moment. “You came after me for my parents?”
“I came after you because I didn’t know what happened to you. I wanted to take you out to dinner last night and make love to you all night. But you shut me out. Nadi, I’ve said this a hundred times. I’m here for you. But maybe you think that I’m just here to support you. I’m here—for you. For your personality, for your smile. For who you are. I’m here for you.”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, Gavin. How you can be so sure you want to be here.”
“Because it’s you, not your foot, not your purple heart, not your nursing degree. You.” He sat on the edge of the tub. “I don’t care about your foot—I mean, I do, but it’s not going to change what I think of you. I adored watching you come in the store every week and wondered what you were going to buy that week. And to be able to get to know you better in the last two weeks has been more than I thought it could be. I can’t even imagine how amazing this would be if we didn’t have to worry about your pain levels, or stressing your foot. It would be us, and I hope us falling in love.”
She wept, quietly. “I’m sorry, Gavin. I’m sorry I’ve pushed you away. I’m so used to pushing guys away that I didn’t even think…” She trailed off.
He stood and kissed her forehead. “Take a bath. Soak as long as you want. I’ll be right outside, watching what I can on the television about this storm. We’re here for the duration, so no rush.”
Looking sheepish, she played with the tie of the robe. “What about food? Because the ocean didn’t only knock me out, it kind of made me hungry.”
Gavin smiled. “The pizza place up the street left the keys with the cops. One of the cops is a pretty good chef, so we’ll be having chicken parm and garlic knots in about an hour.” He pulled the door most of the way shut. “Call me if you need anything. Warm up, sweetheart, we don’t want you getting cold and sick. There’s a long road ahead.”