Love Letters

by Geraldine Solon

  Chloe almost choked on his words. First her house, then the dog, and now her teddy, the very teddy that Josh had given her. After spending time with Josh today, she knew now that she had to see him again before she married. If she wasn’t ready to part with her teddy bear, perhaps she wasn’t ready to part with Josh either.

  Richard went to the bathroom as she rushed upstairs to get her laptop.

  “Goodnight, Chloe,” he yelled from downstairs.

  By the time she came down, Richard was gone and Greta was barking loudly.

  She shook her head. How can he leave without even a kiss? Mom and I seem to have something in common. Maybe seeing Josh again was a sign that history shouldn’t repeat itself. “Or maybe I’m just getting cold feet.”

  She growled in frustration, and then decided to focus on finding out more about Ignacio. She Googled the name Ignacio Rodriguez into her laptop. Perhaps she could locate him on the web. She soon found one, a University Professor at Princeton, and another one, a guitarist from Uruguay. She found a third person – an architect in Argentina, but he was quite young. She let out a sigh realizing how difficult this could be. This guy has to be close to Mom’s age – around sixty or older. She stayed up all night, searching and asking herself what would it take to be given a second chance?

  She was so engrossed that it took a minute before she realized her phone was ringing. Josh.

  Chapter Four

  Chloe woke up that morning with a loud knock on her front door. She had fallen asleep in front of her computer after talking to Josh into the wee hours of the morning. Greta was barking loudly, and running up and down the stairs. Who could that be?

  She had never expected Josh to call her, yet one phone call had proved how great a listener he was. They had talked about everything—from when he left for Oregon and what he’d been up to ever since. She even told him about the letters and, unlike Richard, Josh was eager to know more. She was convinced that he was the same Josh she had fallen in love with thirteen years ago. Now, more than ever, she was determined to see him again, to see if her feelings were still there.

  She put on her robe, tied her hair and hurriedly brushed her teeth. She couldn’t get over what Josh told her on the phone.

  “Chloe, I was so amped to see you again,” he told her.

  She felt the same. Then he told her he would stop by her shop. She hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

  But it wasn’t just about seeing him again; it was what he said that left her breathless.

  In his very sexy voice, the one that had sent shivers down her spine as a young teen, Josh said, “At the airport, when I was twelve and we were getting ready to leave Half Moon Bay for Oregon, I told my mom that I needed to go to the bathroom. I stayed there forever with my feet up so she couldn’t find me. We almost missed our flight because of me.”

  “You did?” she said, picturing the young Josh, pining away for her. If only she’d known.

  “Later that evening, my mom came to my room to talk to me. I told her, well … how much it hurt to leave you behind.” Was that vulnerability she heard in his voice? Her skin tingled at the memory.

  She was silent as he poured out his feelings. “And what did your mother say?”

  He paused, as though embarrassed. “My mom told me if you love somebody that much, then you need to let her go. If she comes back then she’s yours, and if she doesn’t … well, it was never meant to be. At the time I didn’t know exactly what that meant. So here I am, back in Half Moon Bay. I found it strange that the first person I bumped into was you. Fate, don’t you think?”

  Fate.

  Just then she heard another pound on the door. She was so caught up in the memory that everything else had faded away, like it always did when she was around Josh. She ran downstairs to open the door.

  “Good morning, Chloe, I’m Barbara Johnson from Zip Realty, and this is Linda Desmon. She’s interested in taking a look at your house.” Barbara was a twenty-something tall red-head dressed in a navy blue suit while Linda appeared to be in her late fifties and wore a sweatshirt and jeans.

  Chloe frowned. “I don’t recall speaking to you.”

  “I spoke to your fiancé, Richard, and he specifically told me to come at this time,” Barbara said, giving Chloe her business card. “He said you worked, so to be sure to come early. Didn’t he tell you?”

  “Right,” Chloe said, refusing to let Barbara know that Richard didn’t bother to inform her she was coming. I’m going to get Richard for this.

  “So,” Barbara said, with eyebrows raised. “Can we come in?”

  Chloe opened the door, continuing to hold Greta who loved her morning sleep just like Chloe. Fuming in silence, she nevertheless gave them a tour of her house, as they both admired the place.

  “It’s a beautiful house. Do you live here all alone?” Linda asked, looking at the kitchen countertops.

  Chloe ground her teeth, at the question. “My parents gave me the house. My dad passed away two years ago and Greta keeps me company.”

  “And your mother?” Barbara asked, running a finger across the kitchen table as though searching for dust.

  “She lives in San Rafael,” Chloe said, annoyed that they wanted to know about her life. Isn’t it enough that they want to buy the house?

  “So why do you want to sell it?” Barbara asked, as she walked toward the master bedroom.

  Chloe silently fumed. “I’m getting married in June and moving in with my husband. He lives in the city.”

  “How lovely. How long have you two been together?” Linda asked, sitting on the king-sized bed.

  Chloe sighed. “Do you know that the house comes with an attic?” she said, hoping to change the subject.

  “I find attics kind of creepy,” Linda said, “but I’ll take a look.”

  Chloe raised her eyebrows. With any luck, this would be one way to get rid of them. True to her word, Linda trudged up the stairs, peered quickly into the hazy interior, then shuddered and turned around.

  “Okay, Chloe, I’ll be in touch with Richard about what my client decides,” Barbara said, walking down the stairs from the attic.

  Chloe wrote her phone number down. “Please call me instead.”

  “Of course.” Barbara smiled as she stood at the doorstep. “You better go back to sleep. You look like you just woke up.”

  Chloe closed the door and ran upstairs to her room. But before she could call Richard, her phone rang. Richard.

  “Hi, baby, how did everything go?”

  “How could you send an agent here without letting me know, Richard?” she said calling him by his name, which she usually reserved for when she was upset.

  “I tried telling you last night, but you were so engrossed with what’s his face,” Richard said.

  “His name is Ignacio Rodriguez. Didn’t we agree to put the house on the market in March? It’s only February,” Chloe groused.

  “I know, but it wouldn’t hurt to see if there are any interested buyers.”

  “Yeah, but that buyer was a nosy woman asking me a bunch of questions.”

  “Baby, that’s all part of it. They need to know the history of the house and what condition it’s in,” Richard said. She could hear him typing on his computer.

  “Okay, you’re right,” Chloe said, still unconvinced.

  “Do you think the woman is interested?”

  “Barbara will let me know what the buyer decides. I asked her to call me ahead of time from now on.” Chloe said a hasty good-bye, and then hung up the phone.

  She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes for a moment. She didn’t have much to do today except put gas in her car and have her nails done, which could be done later. Other than that, she would be home doing laundry and watching what Nicole called cheesy movies. She couldn’t go back to sleep, so she got up to have breakfast in bed while reading the news online.

  The letters, I almost forgot.

  She opened her drawer and pulled out the third lette
r from the envelope.

  “Suzanne my love,

  We arrived in the Philippines today. So much to see and do, but only you are on my mind. You don’t know how much your letter means to me. It brightens my heart to know that you love me too. How I long to hug you and feel your warm embrace. How I wish I could feel your soft lips again. I love you, Suzanne, with all my heart. I await your next letter. Till then you shall always be in my thoughts and heart.

  Un abrazo fuerte,

  Ignacio Rodriguez

  March 1968”

  Chloe was glad that she remembered the Spanish she took in High School. Ignacio really loved Mom. She held the letter and closed her eyes to smell the paper. It smelled like wood. She couldn’t believe her mom had kept his letters for forty years. She opened letter number four.

  “Suzanne mi amor,

  How are you? I received your letter today with so much hope. Each day I learn something new about you. You truly enlighten me with all the stories you share. We arrived in Malaysia yesterday, another new place to explore. After Malaysia, we’re going to Indonesia then travelling to India, China and Japan before we go back to America. I know it’s still a long way off, but I look forward to seeing you again, my love. I can hardly wait for us to be together. I wish you would send me a picture of you. The pictures I have of us give me hope that someday we will be together. I never stop thinking about you, and your name has already been carved in my heart.”

  Te quiero mucho,

  Ignacio Rodriguez

  April 1968”

  Chloe wanted to cry when she read this. There was so much she didn’t know about her mother, who had always complained that Chloe’s dad wasn’t very romantic. Now, she felt certain that Suzanne had compared her father to Ignacio. She lay in bed thinking. What if her mother had given up the chance of marrying her true love? Chloe dreaded that ever happening to her. Her thoughts shifted to Josh. Why did he come back? There was so much she needed to know – about Josh, Ignacio and her mother. More than anything, Chloe needed to know where her life was going.

  She opened letter number five. This one seemed like a longer letter and she hoped Ignacio had more to share. She hugged the teddy bear Josh had given her.

  “Dear Suzanne,

  Thank you for your letter. I was very inspired by what you wrote, today. Each letter I receive from you brings me closer to your heart. All of us have dreams, and I was touched by your dream to become a Broadway actress. The sound of your voice has always been music to my ears. Thank you for sharing with me the depth of your soul. Like you, I have dreams of someday becoming an architect. I never wanted to join the Peruvian navy, but my father persuaded me to go. He said that it is the only way to see the world and learn what life is about. As you know, life in Peru was very difficult, and joining the navy was a big opportunity for me. I have no regrets about joining the navy because one good thing came out of it – it led me to you.

  My parents were concerned about my future, and sending me to an international school to learn English was the best thing they ever did for me. My father always said, if you know how to speak English, you can work in America. I know that someday I will fulfill my dreams to become an architect in America. This is my last year in the navy and when the ship docks, it will be a new life for you and me.

  Suzanne, dear, I know how difficult it has been for us to be apart. Many times I have longed to feel your soft embrace, but I know that in time we will be together. I remember all the precious moments we spent together and, though it was short, it was very meaningful. Thank you for sending me your photo, which I now keep underneath my pillow. I look at it every night before I go to sleep. I know you have told me in your letters, but I want to ask you if you love me enough to wait for me. I promise that I will take care of you, and we will fulfill our dreams together. You are my inspiration and always will be.

  Thank you for coming into my life, Suzanne. You are a special lady whom I truly love and adore. Please write again soon.

  Con amor grande,

  Ignacio Rodriguez

  May 1968

  I never knew Mom wanted to become a Broadway actress. Chloe knew that her mom had a powerful voice, but all she’d ever done with it was yell at Chloe and her dad. She rolled over onto her side. She still couldn’t believe all this. It was like a fairytale. So Ignacio Rodriguez was a sailor from Peru. I wonder if Dad knew that she wanted to become a Broadway actress. Why didn’t her mother pursue her dream? Chloe reread this last letter and frowned. Why had her mother sacrificed both her career and Ignacio? There was one way to find out. Chloe knew she had to call her mom sooner rather than later, which meant now was the best time.

  She took a deep breath and dialed her mom’s number. She had been resentful to her mom for not taking care of her dad when he needed her most. A few weeks after his burial, she couldn’t contain herself as she voiced out her sentiments to her mother. Suzanne was angry, defensive which lead to a heated argument between them. After two rings, her mom picked up.

  “Suzanne here.”

  Chloe bit her lip. Could she really ask her mother about her Peruvian lover over the phone? “Uh … hi, Mom.”

  “Chloe?” Suzanne asked in her booming voice.

  Chloe sighed. “It’s me, Mom.”

  “Oh ….” They were silent for what seemed like a couple minutes. “Is there anything I can do for you, Chloe?”

  “I just thought you should know that…” She paused. “That I’m getting married, Mom.”

  “Oh.”

  There it was again. Chloe closed her eyes. She hated conversations like these. “Is there anything you would like to say to me aside from ‘Oh’?”

  A swell of anger filled the silence. “How about you tell me that you’re sorry for all the disrespectful things you’ve said to me.”

  Chloe winced. Despite their differences, she knew why she and her mom often clashed. It was because they were both strong-willed and stubborn. “Mom, to tell you the truth, I don’t know who’s fau—”

  “Don’t give me that, Chloe,” Suzanne interrupted. “You’re too young to fake memory loss. It was your fault.”

  Chloe sighed yet again. She knew her mom could be unreasonable at times, but it had been nearly two years. Surely her mom could get past one little fight. One of many. “Mom, if it makes you feel better, I’m sorry and I take full responsibility for what happened.”

  “You should. Kids from this generation have no idea what respect is all about.”

  She rambled on and on until Chloe had to move the phone away from her ear. She had forgotten how it used to be when they were on speaking terms.

  “Chloe, are you still there? Don’t tell me you put the phone down on me. You listen to me, you hear?”

  Chloe sat up in bed. She knew whatever approach she used; her mom would control the situation. She always had to have the last say. “Mom, I’m still here and if you give me a chance talk, I want to te—”

  “What are you trying to say now – that I don’t give you a chance to talk?”

  “Yes, Mom,” Chloe said, transferring the phone to her other ear. “I mean, no Mom. Oh, you know what I mean.”

  “Okay, now what is this about getting married? When are you getting married? Have you been sleeping with this man?” A long pause ensued. “Oh Lord, don’t tell me you’re pregnant, Chloe. Is that why you called me?”

  Uh-oh! Chloe tried to interrupt before her mother could get on a roll, but it was too late.

  “Do you want to give me a heart attack? Chloe, are you listening to me? I’m not prepared to be a grandma yet.”

  Chloe drummed her fingers on the night stand. Was her mother always like this, or had she grown worse over the years? “Mom, I’m listening to you, and I’m not pregnant. I called you because I’m getting married in June to my boyfriend, Richard Foster, who I’ve been seeing for two years.”

  “Who is this Richard Foster, and where did you meet him?” Her mother sounded calmer now. “Did you meet him on the inte
rnet? You think I don’t know about today’s generation? All they care about is meeting men online. In my time men chased women, not the other way around. It’s all backwards now. Tell me the truth, Chloe, did you meet him online?”

  “Mom, I met Richard at the Ritz Hotel while I was havi –”

  “And what were you doing at the Ritz hotel?” Suzanne’s voice grew louder still. “Parading yourself?”

  Chloe knew how over-protective her mother could be. At times she wasn’t sure if her mother was frustrated with her because she was too independent and had a mind of her own, or simply worried that she might end up like her, old and alone. “Mom, I wasn’t parading myself. I was attending a wedding of a client, and Richard happened to be there too. He approached me.”

  “Are you telling me that you talk to strangers? Have I taught you nothing?”

  Chloe threw herself back on her bed. She knew if her dad were alive, he would be pacifying them both. Mom always has to know the what, when, where, why and how. “Mom, Richard is a decent guy. He grew up in Atlanta, Georgia, and moved here to attend college. He works for Bank of America.” Chloe rubbed her aching head.

  “I don’t trust bankers. All they want is your money. Our country wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for bankers.”

  Chloe was trembling now. “Richard’s not like that, Mom. He’s a hard worker and very responsible.”

  Suzanne was silent for once.

  “Mom, are you still there?”

  “Of course I’m still here. Just because I’m sixty years old doesn’t mean I’m deaf.”

  When had her mother become so bitter? Chloe wondered if it had begun when she married a man she didn’t love and left her dreams behind to raise a child … to raise Chloe. Is that what she was doing? Marrying a man she didn’t love, giving up her dreams? No, that was silly. She was not her mom. She took a deep breath. “Mom, will you come to my wedding? Please?”

  “When are you getting married?”