Jill had been Suzanne’s best friend since kindergarten. Although Jill wasn’t related to them, the pair had been so close that Chloe called her Aunt Jill. Her mom’s friend had big round eyes and always wore a smile. She was a petite lady, a little bit on the plump side. She loved to bake cakes and was the opposite of Suzanne – very calm and not too conscious of her looks. She never dyed her hair and part of it had already turned white.
Chloe embraced Jill. “It’s so nice to see you, Aunt Jill.”
“Come in. I’m preparing for tonight’s dinner. Suzanne’s expecting a package to arrive this afternoon and asked me to wait inside. I’m so glad you stopped by. It’s been years since I’ve seen you. Your mom tells me you’re getting married soon. Who’s the lucky guy?” Jill winked.
Chloe entered the house. “His name is Richard Foster. You’ll meet him soon.”
“Don’t you just love the weather?”
“It’s gorgeous,” Chloe said, following Jill to the kitchen.
Jill had convinced Suzanne to move to San Rafael when her husband died. Jill’s husband Nick had died five years ago and all her children were much older than Chloe. Suzanne and Jill travelled and did most things together. Their friendship reminded Chloe of Nicole and her.
“Greta is adorable as ever,” Jill said. “Would she like water?”
Chloe nodded.
Jill poured cold water in a bowl for Greta. “Would you like anything to eat or drink? How about a slice of chocolate cake?”
“Only a thin slice, I have to make sure I fit into my wedding dress,” Chloe said walking to the living room.
Jill came back with two plates of chocolate cake. “I’m sure you will be stunning, Chloe. You’re as beautiful as I remember you. You remind me so much of your mother when she was younger.”
“Thanks, Aunt Jill. You’re a wonderful friend to her,” Chloe said, cutting a piece of her cake.
“Well, I’ve known her since first grade.”
If Aunt Jill is always with Mom I’m sure she would know about Ignacio.
“There’s something I need to ask you, Aunt Jill.”
“Sure. Is it advice about how to keep a marriage strong? Your Uncle Nick and I had a wonderful marriage.”
“You sure did, and I would love to hear your advice, but I wanted to ask you about Mom.”
Jill’s smile faded. Then she dipped her fork in her piece of cake as though hoping to buy time. “Your mom was very sad when you two weren’t on speaking terms. I hope everything is okay with you guys.”
“Oh, it’s not about that. We’re on good terms now. What I wanted to ask you about was Ignacio Rodriguez,” Chloe said, looking directly at Jill.
Jill nearly dropped the fork on her plate. “You mean your mother told you about him?”
“I sort of found his letters to her, and she told me some bits and pieces. But I think there’s more she’s not telling me.” Chloe told Jill what she knew and Jill nodded, acknowledging her story. “Mom said she never heard from him after that last letter.”
Jill grinned. “Is that what she told you?”
Chloe stared at Jill open-mouthed. “I knew it. She was keeping something from me. She seemed defensive when I asked her.”
Jill chuckled. “Your mother was never good at hiding things. That’s how her parents found out about Ignacio.”
“Is there a lot more that she’s not telling me?”
Jill had a twinkle in her eyes. “Would it be all right if I excuse myself for a moment? I need to check on the pot roast and I have to chop onions for the chicken curry.”
“Sure,” Chloe said.
“How about another slice of chocolate cake?”
“Only if you promise to tell me everything,” Chloe said, savoring the remaining icing on the cake.
Chloe smiled as she watched Jill hurry to the kitchen. She knew how much her mom’s friend loved baking cakes. When Jill was done chopping onions, she returned with a bigger slice this time.
“We have to make this quick. Mom might arrive any minute. Didn’t you say she had to go to the cleaners?”
Jill put a hand on Chloe’s shoulder and giggled. “You don’t know your mother very well. When Suzanne says she’s going to the cleaners, she doesn’t only go there. She makes a trip to the mall in search of good deals on her wardrobe.”
“You’re right. We have lots of time.” Chloe laughed. “I want details.”
Jill settled in a pale green overstuffed chair. “I remember that night when your mother met Ignacio. It was December 1968, the chilliest night in San Francisco. Suzanne and I bought our dresses together. I wore a red dress; Suzanne wore a black dress.”
“You must have been beautiful.” Chloe set her cake plate down.
“Your mother and I were so excited about the party. Her parents were much stricter than mine. I was already dating Nick back then, but we were young and not very serious,” Jill said, wiping her mouth with her napkin.
Chloe leaned toward her. “And?”
“The minute Suzanne and I walked inside the big ballroom, all eyes were on us.” Her gaze seemed far away. “Oh, how can I forget that night? I was so nervous, but your mother told to me to take a deep breath and act like a lady.”
Chloe giggled. “Now that sounds like my mother.”
“Your mother is a true lady. She wasn’t as high-strung as she is now. In fact she was very graceful,” Jill said, her eyes glowing.
Chloe burst into laughter. “I can’t imagine my mom ever being graceful.”
“Believe me, she was very poised. She was so beautiful and slim back then. And Ignacio was handsome, but he had eyes only for her. He took one look at her and wasted no time asking her for a dance. The other ladies were upset when he chose her over them.”
“I’m sure all the ladies were jealous.”
“You bet they were. Suzanne and Ignacio spent the whole night talking and dancing.”
“What were you doing while my mom was dancing?”
Jill smiled sheepishly. “I was dancing with another sailor named Gerardo.”
“Don’t tell me he was also your true love?”
Jill shook her head. “A lot of women went home with sailors that night, but I wasn’t one of them. We enjoyed each other’s company, but that’s as far as it went.”
Chloe nodded.
“It was different with your mother.” Jill smiled, reminiscing. “I took one look at her and Ignacio and knew it was serious. They communicated to each other in a way you can’t explain. They had a powerful connection.”
“I still don’t understand why Mom didn’t fight to be with him.” Chloe asked.
“Chloe, you have to realize that our era is so different from today. Back then, women got married right after high school. Women today are independent and have the freedom to make their own decisions. Women weren’t like that in our time. Look at me; I married my high school sweetheart.”
“Do you have any regrets?” Chloe asked.
“None whatsoever, but I’m very different from your mother. I’m more of the domesticated type.”
Chloe smiled with chagrin. Maybe she was more like her mother than she cared to admit.
“Your grandfather was very strict, and when Ignacio stopped writing for three months, it made sense that Suzanne thought he wasn’t serious about their relationship. This may be unfair to say about your dad, since he was a good man, but she married him to please her parents and because she knew he would take care of her.”
“How could she marry a man she didn’t love?” Chloe stood up.
“Nowadays it’s worse. People marry for all the wrong reasons. They also break up for the wrong reasons. Marriage isn’t easy and you both need to be committed to make it work,” Jill said.
Am I making the same mistake Mom made?
“Chloe, are you listening?” Jill patted her on the back.
“Huh? Oh sorry, I got distracted.”
“You get what I’m saying, don’t you? Don’t get me wrong
. I know Suzanne loved your father, but she never looked at him the way she looked at Ignacio. It may not have been as intense as her relationship with Ignacio, but the best thing they ever had was you. Besides, you never know what her life would have been had she ended up with Ignacio.”
“I just wished she tried. I mean it’s clear in his letters that he was madly in love with her,” Chloe said, as she sat down again.
“Again, Chloe, being the realistic woman that your mother is, she knew that she couldn’t live on love alone. Love wouldn’t feed her, and she probably thought that giving up everything for this man would be the biggest risk of her life. They would be starting a new life together, and he didn’t have anything to offer her beyond love.”
Chloe’s thoughts drifted to Richard who was working hard to provide for a better future. “Did she ever hear from him again after that last letter?”
Jill looked away.
“Oh my gosh! She did, didn’t she?”
Jill nodded. “As Ignacio mentioned in his letter, he waited for her from dawn till dusk. I remember that day well. It was her birthday. She cried a bucket of tears that day.”
“That means she really wanted to see him,” Chloe said, feeling sorry for her mother.
“Of course she did, but she knew she would never hear the end of it from her father.” Jill took a drink of her water. “Three days later, Suzanne heard a knock on her front door a—”
“Oh my gosh! Ignacio went to her house?”
“That’s right, and it’s a good thing her father was at work. Her mom let him in and told Suzanne that she only had a few minutes to speak to him.”
“What did he tell her?” Chloe asked.
“What do you think he told her? He got down on his knees and asked her to marry him. She cried – said she was getting married in a week. He told her that she still had time to change her mind and that he would be waiting for her.”
“She never told me.”
“Of course not. That would show weakness and your mother refuses to show any weakness.”
Chloe furrowed her brows. “Then what happened?”
“She didn’t have time to explain why she couldn’t marry him,” Jill said, shaking her head, “So, after he left, she wrote him a five page letter explaining everything about her father and your father. She told him that although she was marrying your father, she would never forget him. I delivered the letter to Ignacio but didn’t get the chance to speak with him since he was out, so I left it with the concierge at the hotel he was staying.”
Chloe tapped her chin with her forefinger. “This is heavy stuff. Did she see Ignacio again?”
“I saw him standing outside the church on her wedding day. He must have been contemplating whether he should stop the wedding,” Jill said.
“Are you serious? Did Mom know he was outside?” Chloe asked.
“She sure did and she couldn’t stop crying. Your father thought she was the most emotional bride ever.”
“Poor Dad! Why do things have to be that way?”
“Not everybody ends up with their true love, Chloe. That’s why you have to make sure that Richard is the one. Women in this generation are much luckier than we were because they can support themselves. I can’t say they’re any wiser, because I see a lot of foolish women out there, but you have more freedom nowadays.”
Chloe nodded.
“Look at you, you’re beautiful, smart and your mom tells me that you manage a bridal shop,” Jill said.
Chloe smiled in acknowledgement. “Did she ever see Ignacio again? Whatever happened to him? Did he go back to Peru?”
“Now here comes the interesting part.” She looked at the door as though expecting Suzanne to appear at any moment, then leaned in and lowered her voice. “I forgot to tell you that I put my address in Suzanne’s letter to him. That way if he wanted to write to her, he could.” Jill winked.
“You’re very smart, Aunt Jill. So, did he write to her?”
Jill smiled. “After your parents’ honeymoon in Fiji, I received a postcard from New York. Ignacio wrote that he was going to be staying at his uncle’s place and had checked out some schools that offered Architecture. He told her that he respected her decision. He also said that he would always love her, and though it would be difficult to move on, he hoped that they could remain friends.”
“I guess he didn’t mind settling for friendship then. What did Mom do?”
“Your mother couldn’t sleep the whole night, but she was happy that he was pursuing his dream. He was very passionate about being an architect.”
Chloe excused herself to go to the bathroom and to give her time to absorb everything, while Jill filled two glasses of water.
Chloe came back moments later and sat down on the couch. “Did Mom and Ignacio write to each other after that? Did my father know about him?”
“Suzanne and Ignacio put their romantic feelings aside and focused on their friendship, which was very rewarding. Suzanne discovered new things about Ignacio and vice versa. She never told your father about him, but they did write to each other for quite a while,” Jill said.
“Did he become an architect? Did he ever get married?”
“Yes he did, to a beautiful Brazilian model named Giselle; seven years after your mother got married. Suzanne was very jealous of her, but Ignacio confessed that he would never love a woman as much as he loved Suzanne.”
“Did they still keep in touch?” Chloe asked.
“Yes, they did, and each time Giselle gave birth, Ignacio would send a photo.” Jill crossed her legs. “Your mom must have the photos stored somewhere.”
“How many kids did they have? Did Giselle know about Mom?”
“They had four adorable kids and they looked like a very happy family. Ignacio and Giselle lived in a beautiful apartment in Manhattan. They had a nanny to take care of the kids while they worked, and he traveled around the world with his wife and kids when she had modeling stints. She knew that your mother was his first love, but she didn’t complain since Ignacio was a devoted husband and father.”
“It must have been hard for Mom seeing Ignacio pursue his dream and have a family.”
“It sure was. So many times she wondered if she had done the right thing. When your grandfather died, she cried hard wishing he hadn’t been so strict. She kept her life busy entertaining guests at home. Your father was doing well in his job, and they traveled a lot.”
“When did Mom and Ignacio stop writing, or did they ever stop?”
“They never communicated on the phone and only through letters, until one day Ignacio called her. He said that he couldn’t handle being apart from her. He loved Giselle and the kids, but he was ready to give everything up to be with her.”
“Really? What did Mom do?”
The doorbell rang and Jill told her to hold that thought, then rushed to open the door. It was the package Suzanne was waiting for. She signed the log and took the package to the dining table then went back to sit with Chloe. “Where were we?”
“About Ignacio giving up everything to be with Mom.”
“Right. Your mom thought he was drunk and dismissed him. He called her several more times saying he would fly to San Francisco to be with her. Suzanne accused him of being impulsive.”
“What happened afterwards?”
“Your mom could never break up a family. The next day she found out she was pregnant with you. She made the decision that same day that she would stop writing to Ignacio. It was also the same day your father purchased the house in Half Moon Bay. Your father had just received a promotion and his job had moved to Half Moon Bay.”
“Wow!” Chloe stood up and paced. How could she have lived with her mother all those years and never known this was happening?
“Your mother devoted her life to you. I know you two have always been at odds, but I have to say she truly loves you. She only wants what’s best for you, Chloe.”
Tears came to Chloe’s eyes unheeded. “If only I had kno
wn how hard it was for her, I would have understood.”
“That’s the last time she ever heard from Ignacio.”
Just then, Chloe heard a sound at the door. Seconds later the door swung open and her mother walked in. “I’m home, Jill. Oh, Chloe, what a surprise. How nice of you to come visit me.”
Jill muttered something about needing to finish the dinner, then brushed past Chloe as she blew her nose and hurriedly dried her eyes.
“Are you crying?” Suzanne asked, peering through the doorway.
“It’s the onions,” Jill called from the kitchen where she once again was chopping onions, this time to cover the tears. “Chloe’s been helping me with the onions. I told her to stay for dinner if it’s all right with you.”
“Of course,” Suzanne said, leaving her plastic bags on the couch.
“I thought I’d visit you for a change,” Chloe said.
“Now isn’t that nice to have Chloe here, Suzanne?” Jill called from the kitchen. “We’ve been talking about her wedding all afternoon.”
“How wonderful! By the way, I found a nice dress at Nordstrom,” Suzanne said, unwrapping the plastic bags. “You should have seen the sales.”
Jill entered the living room, drying her hands with a towel. “I told you she would be shopping, didn’t I Chloe?” Jill winked.
Chloe giggled. “You know Mom well.”
“Look at this dress. It was worth $190 and I got it for $45. Tell me that isn’t a great deal?”
They both laughed.
“Some things never change,” Jill said, eyeing Chloe. “Now let’s eat!”
They enjoyed the chicken curry, pot roast and spinach with artichoke Jill had prepared. Chloe said she would put the dishes in the dishwasher. Suzanne excused herself to hang the clothes she bought in her bedroom. Moments later, she called Chloe to come upstairs to her bedroom.
“In a minute, Mom,” Chloe said clearing the table. “Aunt Jill, where do you think Ignacio is now? Would he still be in New York? Does Mom still mention him?”
Jill put the glasses in the dishwasher. “She doesn’t talk about him anymore, but I know she hasn’t forgotten him. I did bring him up on our trip to Peru, but she quickly dismissed me. You know how stubborn your mom can be.”
Love Letters Page 17