by Greene, Dane
Jason’s comments bring a smile to my face. It’s good to have a friend who cares enough about me to bug me about something he sees as foolish. For a few seconds, there’s silence, but then Brian steps forward.
“There’s one more option that I don’t think any of you have considered. I could care less what island you plan to stay on; I respect both of your desires. As for myself, I could never settle down on either island. Once all of you are safe, I plan on using the islands as a base of operation to rescue other survivors. Aaron, I understand the desire for peace, but I could never live with myself if I sat there while others were dying.”
Brian’s words shake me, and for a second, they make me question everything I’ve decided. The thought of leaving the islands once we got there never crossed my mind. The fact that my selfishness overtook my desire to help others shames me. As I remember Evelyn and what Sophia told me about insanity, though, I realize that staying put is my only option. When no one speaks up, Brian nods and turns around. The meeting comes to an end when he walks away. Jason follows behind him shortly. Evelyn gives me a small hug, then follows Melany.
When the others are gone, I look at Sophia and decide I want to ask her a question.
“You went over it, but I want to know more about the disease, and I want to know how you discovered the information.” Sophia tells me about the file she received from Charles, as well as the trail to Chicago she took to find a man who could answer her questions.
When she did find the man, he was changing. She wasn’t too late and was still able to get some information from him. That information led her to discover more files, which explained how the infection might have started.
“About a year ago, there was a group of soldiers who found a biological weapon from a terrorist cell. The weapon was broken down and analyzed by a team in Chicago and a group in Georgia. They discovered that the weapon contained a modified strain of bacteria. Through the use of animal testing, they found that the bacteria were capable of taking over brain stems and the motor cortex. It controlled its host to further propagate the disease. The primary symptoms of the disease were blindness, slowed heart rate, increased adrenal output, and loss of muscle control limits. They also found increased hearing perception, lowered dexterity, and extreme rage.”
Since my mother is a nurse, what Sophia says makes some sense to me. I know enough to realize that there’s no cure for this disease. If the bacterium takes over the brain stem, the damage done would be too severe for recovery. Even if the infection were to be eradicated, the infected person would likely become an immobile vegetable.
“There were several precautions taken to avoid cross-species infection. One of those precautions was regular health checks on all employees. So when one of the workers had strange cardiovascular activity during a routine exam, he was isolated. After it was confirmed he was not infected, the heads decided that he should be the focus of the study. Instead of trying to find any other remnants of a dangerous disease or creating a cure, focus shifted to the military benefits it could provide.”
The fact that a dangerous disease was ignored frustrates me. America deserved to be struck down. It makes me sad that we could’ve become so inflated and corrupted that such an obvious threat would be ignored.
“Of course, they didn’t know the influence would cause mania and insanity at the time. All they noticed at first were the heightened strength responses and adrenal levels. What I believe happens is that the chemical causes your brain to go into survival mode. What I mean by that is, it puts you in the same state you would be in if you knew you were being hunted by an animal, like a bear or mountain lion.”
When I think about it, Chris starts to make more sense. Sophia did tell me hallucinations were part of the side effects of being exposed to Palemen. It might go deeper than that. What if Chris is a manifestation of my desire to survive at any cost? Besides, visions of the Palemen are real. I know they are more than hallucinations.
Whatever’s happening to me, it feels like I have a psychic connection to the Palemen. Their pain and thoughts echo in my mind when I’m close. It might be all in my head, but something tells me it’s not. Sophia continues talking as I ponder everything.
“Since there were several hundred people working in the lab at the time and only one person was affected, it was deemed a rare reaction. One of the main focuses was to study the man and try to find what caused the reaction. The hope was that we could produce something in the lab that would allow this reaction in every soldier. The power went out before that discovery was ever made, but the research shows that they were very close.” Sophia finishes speaking, and I take a second to process all the information.
“There’s one thing that still confuses me,” I say. “How do the generals exist if the disease cripples the mind?”
“Like I said, I can only guess, so I could be wrong. The people who become generals are the ones who are sensitive to the disease. That’s my theory, so people like you become generals. For some reason, they are able to fight off the bacterium or remain partially uninfected. This causes them to keep some control of higher thought processes.”
It takes a minute for everything to sink in, and only then do I realize what she’s telling me.
“So what you’re saying is that if I’m infected, I’ll become a general?”
She looks sad and nods. “Sorry, but like I said, it’s a guess, and I could be wrong.”
The fear that I could turn into a killing machine and influence other Palemen terrifies me. The thought that I could use Palemen to kill hundreds of others is almost too much to bear. Feeling the holster at my side, I look at my gun, debating whether it would be better to end my life now. It might be hard on my friends, but my future looks bad. I’ll either go insane and kill people or turn into a general and kill people.
When I look up, I see Sophia watching me, and somehow, I know she understands what I was thinking of doing. With her here, I decide there’s another option.
“Alright, I’ll cope with what’s happening to me, but I need you to make me a promise. If I get to manic, or I’m bitten and start to turn, I need you to kill me without hesitation. Can you do that for me?”
Sophia looks at me, and I can tell she’s serious when she says, “Of course I can do that. I’d already planned on it. Also, Aaron, if Chris takes over, I’ll do the same. I don’t understand what he is, but I know his takeover wouldn’t be good.”
Feeling some relief over having someone willing to take care of me if I break, I relax.
“Alright, thank you, and I don’t think I need to ask, but will you stay silent about everything we have talked about?”
Sophia smiles at me.
With the others gone, I find myself looking at Sophia. She looks at me, and I see there’s something wrong. She looks uncomfortable, and I can tell she’s struggling to speak. It’s odd to see her like this, since she was able to have a complicated and difficult discussion unhindered.
“When I looked over the supplies, I noticed that you don’t have any spare air mattresses. I hesitate to ask, but I understand that a good night’s rest is important to avoid any mistakes being made. I would ask your sister, or Dawn, but I don’t think either trust me enough to say yes.”
Sophia’s blushing, and I’m confused by what she’s babbling about. “Sophia, what are you asking?”
Sophia looks at me and says, “Could I share a mattress with you and your daughter while we travel? Don’t misunderstand me: I’m not your girlfriend or your woman. All I’m trying to do is be practical.”
Laughing, I say, “Of course you can share my mattress, and don’t worry: I’m not the kind of guy who would try anything. Even if I was, I would never dream of doing anything with my daughter so close. There’s no issue with you staying with us, but I do have one condition. You have to befriend Evelyn. If she doesn’t agree to you staying with us, there’s nothing I can do.”
Sophia nods, and without another word, she walks away. Taking
advantage of the moment, I close my eyes, trying to process everything that’s happened to me in the past few days. When I’ve gone through everything, I feel better, so I start looking for the others.
It doesn’t take me long to find them. The office cubicles have been moved around to form a sort of barricade with one entrance and several partitioned rooms. It doesn’t take me long to find Evelyn and Sophia. The two are chatting away, and I can tell Sophia has already won Evelyn over. I’m about to join them when I see Brian walking toward me.
“Hey, Aaron, we decided on a watch schedule, and you and I are first.”
I sigh. At least first watch will give me some time to think about everything. “Alright, sounds good, Brian. But first, I’m going to check on Evelyn. I’ll be right back.” I make my way to the partition Evelyn is in. When I get there, Evelyn runs up and gives me a big hug. I start to help her get ready for bed, but she keeps asking for Sophia to help her. After a while, I agree and let Sophia take care of her. I hug her goodnight and thank Sophia before starting my watch.
While I walk around the empty office building, I try to think of what I’m going to do. That’s when I decide that everything I’ve learned changes nothing. The only thing I can do now is take things one day at a time. It’s all I’ve done since the power first went out, and it’s gotten me this far. My only hope is that taking things one day at a time will lead me to tomorrow.
Chapter 15: Stephanie
August 5th
The grave of my husband lies in front of me. It’s only been a few weeks since his death, and the pain is as fresh today as it was the night he died. My anger and pain over my husband’s death may never go away, and I’m not sure I want it to. It isn’t in me to let it go. If he had died naturally, it might have been different, but my husband’s death was caused by Jason’s grandmother, and I’ll never forgive that.
There’s nothing in this grave but ashes, but that’s more than enough for me. His body wasn’t the only one I cremated. I also cremated the children. Alexis buried them in a nearby lot. We cut the rest of Jason’s family into pieces and used them as bait for dogs. Originally, I wanted to leave them in a field somewhere, but Alexis convinced me to find a use for their bodies. If I hadn’t been so angry, I probably would have been disgusted at the idea, but looking back on it, I’m glad we did.
Alexis was able to bring down a half dozen of the dogs, and using a survival book she found in a nearby home, she gutted and skinned them. We got about fifty pounds of meat and a bedspread that will help keep us warmer through the winter.
When I examined the meat, just to make sure it wasn’t contagious, I discovered that dogs’ immune systems are extremely efficient at eliminating the bacteria that causes the Paleman disease. When we discovered this, Alexis started working harder to track and hunt dogs.
She says she does it to build up our food supply. We both know she’s lying, but I leave it be. With the food we added from Jason’s family, and the fact that we have half as many mouths to feed, we’re set up to make it a few years on our current supplies. Alexis is probably just looking for an escape, and I can’t blame her.
The last few weeks have been lucid for me. I walk around and work, but underneath it, I’m depressed. Everything I do hurts me, and it isn’t getting any easier. At night, between sobs I find myself wishing I could’ve died with Marcus. When I wake up every morning, my first feeling is disappointment that my prayers were not answered.
The only thing that’s kept me from ending my own life is my daughter Sarah, who still depends on me—that and the hope that someday Aaron and Melany will return to me.
As I take a last look at my husband’s grave for the day, I debate lying down next to him and just waiting for death to take me. Alexis is watching nearby, though, and I don’t want to put her in any danger. When I stand up, I wipe away the tears on my face and start walking toward the apartment building.
Alexis is tailing me, and I know better than to argue. She has really changed since the night my husband died. She doesn’t talk much now; I think Marcus was more of a father figure to her than her own father. Her parents are hidden away, and I have no idea if they are even alive. I doubt she does, either. Ever since Marcus died, she’s been actively exploring the areas around our apartment and killing any Palemen she encounters.
At first, I thought what she was doing was pointless, except for the dog bait it provided. After the first week, though, I noticed a significant decrease in the number of Palemen I saw every day. Before long, it wasn’t surprising if I didn’t see a Paleman throughout the whole day. Because of her, I feel safe traveling to and from my husband’s grave.
Alexis has become a very skilled fighter and medical student. She doesn’t know this, but I’ve seen her use her spear and bow, and she is very good. The times I’ve watched her, she usually kills two or three Palemen with her bow before they even notice she’s there. There was only one time I saw any Palemen get close to her, and she killed them with her spear before they came to within arm’s reach of her.
Even though she isn’t my daughter, I still feel proud of her. Marcus and I started watching out for her, and it’s surprising to see what she’s becoming. While I’m thinking this, I hear Alexis’s voice, and I’m startled until I see her standing next to me.
“Stephanie, I need to talk to you when we get back.” As I try to catch my breath from being startled, I respond to her. “Okay?” She looks at me with an awkward half smile, then walks away. This is the first time she’s approached me while I was visiting Marcus’s grave, so I know she must have something important to tell me. The way she acted seemed uncomfortable, though, so I’m not sure what she wants to talk to me about.
The walk to the apartment is a short one, and there are no Palemen anywhere nearby, probably thanks to Alexis. When I reach the apartment, it isn’t long before Alexis approaches me.
“Stephanie, I wanted to talk to you about scavenging.” Alexis looks very worried, and I’m not sure why. There’s never been an argument about her scavenging. Personally, I don’t see any reason for it, and though she’s brought plenty of food and supplies to us, there hasn’t really been a need for any of it.
“Alexis, you know I don’t care that you scavenge. As long as you’re safe, you’re welcome to continue scavenging if it’s what you want.” Alexis sighs, and I can see that she’s trying to gather courage.
“Well, you see, I’ve looked at our supplies, and we have around eight years’ worth of food and supplies. If I continue to hunt and start a garden, I think it’s more like ten to twenty years of supplies. By your own estimates, the Paleman infection should die out long before that. That’s why I want to start looking for other survivors.” Alexis pauses, and I’m shocked by what she’s said. After everything, why would she want to find other people? We are safe here; we have food. The last family we trusted to live in our home with us killed my husband.
Why would Alexis think it would be okay to connect with and trust others? Even though I’m angry, I let Alexis continue, hoping she has a good explanation for herself.
“There are people who need help. I know you’re wary of helping others, but think of me. If it weren’t for you and Aaron, my whole family would have been dead by now. Stephanie, you’re like a mother to me. You’ve taught me how to heal and help others. I’ll always be grateful to you, but I know there are people out there whose lives I could save. I want to go out there and help them, and I want you to come with me.”
Alexis is one of my daughters in my eyes. Her real parents abandoned reality when the power outage hit, and she’s struggled to keep them alive since. Now they remain hiding, locked away and cowering in fear.
Even if she is my daughter, what she’s asking is too much. I taught her what I know about healing so she could help others here in my absence, not help possibly dangerous strangers.
“Even if I was willing to go with you, what good is helping others if it only brings us more sorrow? People are unpredictable and d
angerous. You help someone, and they might turn around and stab you in the back just because they think it will make them live longer.” Alexis looks at me, and I see a brief expression of sadness and pain.
“The thing is, I don’t just want to help and find other people. I want to bring them back with us and build a community. If there are people who try to take advantage of that, I’ll deal with it. A community needs laws, and I’ve learned in this world that you cannot afford to be lenient.” Alexis is silent, and so am I. As I consider what she’s saying, I realize that she’s adamant about this, and I’m fairly certain that if I refuse to help her, she’ll go out on her own and try to do what she wants without me.
My trust in others isn’t restored, and I don’t think it ever will be completely, but I love Alexis. If I don’t help her, she could die. Putting my feelings aside, I resolve myself to help my adopted daughter. All I can hope is that she comes through on her promise of taking care of those who want to harm us. Hopefully she realizes the full meaning of that promise.
Memories of the oaths to heal return to me, and even though I made them in what feels like a different world, I don’t think I can escape them. Perhaps Alexis is right; if we can help heal and build a community, it would be wrong not to try.
“Okay,” I say. “I can’t say no to you. You have backed me into a corner, and I think you know that, but I’ll help you all the same. If anybody in our family is hurt, I’ll hold you personally responsible. If you can live with that, I’m willing to help.” Alexis looks at me, and I see a look of calm calculation.
“It’s a deal then. And don’t worry; I won’t let any harm come to anyone. I have no intention of stopping until I see a community full of hope again.” With that remark, Alexis turns around and walks out of the room. She’s probably gathering her things and will want to leave immediately. Reluctantly, I decide to find Sarah and quickly explain the situation to her. She helps me pack for the trip, and after we’re done, I find Alexis and find that she’s ready to go as well.