"You still see… some of those people." I chose my words as wisely as possible.
"But I married you." He grit his teeth in anger. "I’m not doing this here. This is such a non-issue, I don't know why you keep bringing it up. I thought I’d proven to you that you were it for me. I put a fucking ring on your finger. You're mine and I’m yours. I told you no one else matters before you." He glared at me. The anger burned in my stomach and I steeled my jaw.
"Whatever, Carter." I stood and started walking back to the parking lot.
Carter's long strides followed a few steps behind me until we reached the car. I stood at my door and crossed my arms waiting for him to unlock the doors.
"Are you not talking to me then?"
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye but kept my mouth shut.
"Eva, fuck. Grow up. When things get tough you always walk away, but I’m your husband, there's no more walking away." He grabbed my elbow and spun me to face him. I let him hold my arm and continued to glare at him. The memories of all of our fights over the last weeks flashed through my mind like a highlight reel. A burst of anger shot through my body.
"Let me go, Carter." I wrenched my arm from his grip.
"Don't make a scene." He warned me.
"Then open the fucking door." I held his gaze. He unlocked my door and held it open for me to get in. I huffed down in the seat and crossed my arms again, staring straight out the windshield.
Carter strode around the other side of the car and got behind the wheel. He turned the key and the car flared to life. He threw it in reverse and peeled out of the parking lot. I rolled my eyes. We drove in silence a few miles and out of the corner of my eye I could see his fists tightening around the steering wheel, white-knuckled.
"So we're just never supposed to go back to Boston then? That can't fucking work, Eva. I would love to keep you here naked all the time, fuck you whenever I want, but I’ve got a business to run. Everything can't be about you," he spit out.
I bit the inside of my cheek. "I just wanted to talk about it Carter. We have a bad history. We're such a fucking roller coaster, I wanted to talk about it with you, but you went all fucking crazy. Not that I should be surprised, you've been crazy from the start," I spit out as I glared out the window at the bright yellow trees speeding by. All of a sudden the car wrenched to the right and we were sliding into a small trail that climbed up into the mountains. The trail was rough and definitely not made for a vintage car.
"Where are we going?" I whipped my head around to glare at him. Even in profile I could see he was angry enough to spit bullets, but the hardened set of his chin, the straight edge of his nose, his bunched eyebrows over his long dark lashes—he looked dangerously handsome. My heart was pounding in a mixture of anger and arousal. The man drove me fucking insane.
"You drive me crazy, Eva." He pulled the car over into a small turnoff so we were hidden from the main road. He slammed on the brakes and the seat belt dug into my skin. I gritted my teeth together and watched him. He squeezed the steering wheel with his fists.
"You drive me so fucking crazy all of the time." He opened the door of the car and jumped out, kicking a tire.
"FUCK!" he hollered and twisted his hands in his hair. The action caused his shirt and jacket to rise up and reveal just a sliver of the smooth, golden skin above the waistband of his jeans. My eyes darted to it instantly and the sight was an instant turn-on.
"Mother fucker!" He kicked rocks. "So fucking insane!" I watched him silently from the car carrying on outside.
He paced farther up the trail and walked around a slight bend so he was just out of my sight. I waited a few moments wondering what to do before wrenching the door open and slamming it as hard as I could. I didn't care if it was vintage or not, that man made my insides boil.
I balled my fists at my sides and stomped down the trail and turned the corner to find Carter leaning against a tree, elbows up over his head, his forehead resting on his forearms. His long legs were stretched out at an angle away from the tree and he looked impossibly sexy. I rolled my eyes, angry with myself for being so impossibly turned-on by him.
"Can we get back in the car?" I said from behind him. He didn’t move. I could see him taking deep breaths, probably trying to calm himself down.
"Can we just do this at home?" I rolled my eyes at his childish behavior.
"No, apparently we can't, because home is Boston, and apparently you don't want to go back there. So I’m not really sure where to go." I saw his fists clench above his head.
"Carter, God, don't be so dramatic."
"Dramatic? I'm not the one being fucking dramatic, Evangeline."
In a flash he was in front of me and had both his hands on my shoulders tightly. My eyes widened in shock that he could make it to me so quickly.
"I just wanted to talk about it, I should be able to tell you what I’m thinking without you going all fucking nuts on me." I glared at him. His eyes flashed fire at me, his jaw clenching.
"You pretty much told me you don't want to go home with me, Evangeline. What am I supposed to do?" His eyes were shooting daggers at me.
"I didn't say anything like that, don't put words in my mouth." I turned and walked back to the car. Carter caught up with me and spun me around in his arms again, his hands holding my upper arms firmly.
"Then what were you saying?" he spit out.
"I was saying that your past is fucked up and I hate it," I said vehemently.
He bit his bottom lip and anger flashed in his eyes, and then something else. He pulled me flush against his body and held me there tightly. Our thighs, our hips, our torsos were aligned tightly. One hand wrapped around the back of my neck and pulled me to his lips and suddenly we were crushed together and kissing fiercely. I could feel the angry way his tongue twisted with mine, this was his outlet for anger. He was turning his rage into passion for me. I threw my arms around his shoulders and jumped up to wrap my legs around his waist. A sensual moan escaped his throat as I held his head tighter to my lips, returning his kiss with just as much ferocity as he was aiming at me.
He walked us back to the hood of the car and sat my bottom on it, my legs still wrapped around his hips as he leaned over, pushing my body onto the cold metal. I ground my core into his hips and rocked rhythmically.
My fingers fumbled with the button of his jeans. My head leaning up to kiss him, our lips still attached, Carter fumbled and then pulled my pants off me. His fingers fumbled with my panties and then I felt him rip them off my body; the tearing of that delicate fabric only ratcheting my passion for him. The palm of his hand pressed into my center, applying the delicious contact my body was craving. He slid one finger through my wet folds and then thrust it into me. I bucked my body in pleasure at his long finger invading and pumping in and out of me. He was doing it so roughly, with such unbridled passion. His lips met mine and I came instantly around his finger. I screamed in pleasure and I heard my passion echoed in the trees around us. Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered that there could be a house up the trail out of sight, someone could hear us, but my brain was too frazzled to care.
Carter slid his jeans down and thrust inside me before I had time to ride the high of my first orgasm.
I groaned at the instant fullness and propelled my hips into him, rocking wildly as he pounded in and out of me.
"You make me so fucking mad, Evangeline." Carter gritted through his teeth and held my gaze with his own fiery blue eyes.
"Why do you make me so fucking mad?" He grabbed one of my bare legs and twisted it to the side in front of him, then held both my ankles together so he was pounding me sideways. The increased friction had me panting in pleasure and I felt my release burning hot in my belly.
"I don't know," I panted out to him.
"You’re the only one that's ever made me feel this way. I love you so much, but you make me so fucking angry." He punctuated the last word with another deep thrust. So this was another angry fuck from Ca
rter. In some fucked up part of my brain I registered that they may have been my favorite kind.
"You do it to me too. You make me mad," I panted as he hammered, one hand sliding up my bare thigh holding my hip roughly to keep me steady. My hand clenched around his forearm and my nails dug into his flesh.
"You can't run on me, Eva. You always fucking run, but you're not fucking running this time. I won't let you. We're married, you're mine."
"God…" I groaned in pleasure, his words spurring my release. "I’m not. I won't." A moan escaped my lips.
"You can't be another person that leaves me. I won't let you." He pumped frantically, fast and long and deep and my release ripped through my body, searing-hot pleasure spiking through my system. My head fell back against the hood of the car and my body was wracked with heavy pants as I tried to catch my breath and let my brain calm from the blissful high.
Carter pounded and slammed into my body, holding both of my ankles in one hand and angling in with his other holding my hips tightly. He pounded again, full and deep and then shuddered and groaned with his own release, his face twisting in a combination of pain and pleasure. His chest heaved as he released both of my legs and collapsed between my thighs.
I came down from my high and instantly remembered that I was half naked in the mountains in October. My body shivered and Carter slowly pulled away.
"I’m sorry," I whispered to him. His eyes flicked to mine with a look of intense sadness. My lips parted slightly in shock, Carter was always great after sex; it was the one thing guaranteed to boost his mood, but he looked more devastated than ever.
"No, I’m sorry, Eva." He pulled his pants up and reached down to hand me mine. I watched him pocket my lace panties and turn away from me. I sat naked on the hood of the muscle car feeling utterly alone and abandoned, even though I’d just been fucked seven ways from Sunday by the man I loved. I watched his back as he ran one hand through his hair. Sex on the hood of his car hadn't been a stress relief for him—it had somehow created more anxiety.
Tears sprang to my eyes and I wiped them away. I slid off the hood and pulled on my pants then turned to look at him, still facing away from me.
"I'm ready," I whispered. He nodded once and then turned and we both got back in the car. Carter started the engine and we drove home in complete and utter silence.
Chapter Eleven
Monday morning we woke up and packed to leave. We were flying back to Boston and would be home early in the evening. All day Sunday an uncomfortable silence had fallen over us. The tension in the house was palpable as we went through the motions. I checked work emails, did some research on a story I had to write, wandered into the library, and leafed through some books. I even spoke to Cate on the phone for a while. She still had no idea we'd gotten married. And at this rate maybe she would never need to know. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep my mind off our fight and the angry fuck that had left Carter even more despondent.
I was sure Carter had overreacted but maybe I had offended him by bringing up his past in some way. I was so confused, I wasn't sure of anything anymore. And while Carter had only been in my life for a few weeks, he had his patterns, and lovey post-orgasm Carter was who I’d grown used to; somber post-orgasm Carter was new, and frankly, I was afraid.
I had been worried about going back to Boston, but now I was worried that Carter was worried about being married period. And frankly, maybe I was too. My brain was working in such a confused jumble; I'd lost my appetite and felt on the edge of nausea all day.
I’d gone to bed Sunday night by myself and I’d heard Carter slide in much later, once he thought I was already asleep. He didn't touch me, and slept facing the other way all night. I knew because I had been wide-awake, a softball-sized lump in my throat and an impossible ache in my heart.
When we boarded the plane Monday afternoon we settled into our respective seats silently. We had the same flight attendant as last time and she beamed when we stepped on the plane, and then her face fell when she picked up on the tension between us. She brought me a water and Carter a whiskey. Alarms immediately went off in my head when I recalled the last time we'd fought and he'd had whiskey. Did I need to be concerned that he was headed down that path again? Should I ask him not to drink it? Should I tell him not to? I was his wife, I thought that gave me some sort of right to say something, but I didn't know how he would take it, so I didn’t.
I put my headphones on, cranked the music and opened a book on my tablet. I normally had no problem getting lost in the words, but for the entire flight I read the same few sentences over and over as my mind wondered about my future.
We landed that afternoon at Logan International. Carter had nursed a few glasses of whiskey on the flight, so he wasn't drunk like he'd been last time, just quiet. Parker met us at the airport.
"To Beacon Street, sir?" Parker questioned once we'd gotten in the car.
"Chandler Street. Thanks, Parker." My eyes shot to his profile. Carter was taking me home. He was dropping me off at my apartment after we'd gotten married and spent two blissful weeks in Aspen. I glanced at the shimmering ring on my finger. It suddenly felt so heavy, like a burden weighing me down. Thoughts raced through my brain at the possibilities and implications of those two words.
Chandler Street.
I kept hearing his emotionless voice repeat them over and over. My heart was pounding wildly in my chest and I felt like I was going to choke; my anxiety had instantly skyrocketed.
I tried to keep my focus on my breathing the entire twenty-minute ride. The car glided smoothly, the cars went by out the window, the buildings came into view, The Hancock was plainly dominating the Boston skyline—life had gone on for everyone here. But it hadn't for me, my entire world had halted, rotated and was now spinning on an entirely new axis. I'd gotten married to a man that consumed me, body and soul. I'd had the most beautiful few weeks of my life with him. And now I was heading back to my life before, apparently Carter had made the decision that it would be a life without him in it.
My body began to tremble uncontrollably and my breaths were shallow, my body spiraling into a full-blown panic attack. The Bentley turned onto my street and I watched the beautiful bright orange maple trees slide by, cars parked along the street, leaves swirling around the tires.
Parker pulled the car up outside my apartment and I immediately threw the door open and hunched over, taking deep breaths of cool New England air. I sucked in a few more and then heaved, losing the little I’d eaten that day on the sidewalk outside my townhouse. The anger burned hot in my stomach and tears stung my eyes. I tried to hold my long hair out of my face while I lost the contents of my stomach. I heaved until it felt like there was nothing left in my body and as I came back to reality I felt Carter's large palm caressing my back and holding my hair out of my face.
"Are you okay?" he murmured quietly. I nodded quickly and wiped my mouth. I stayed hunched over a few more moments wondering what to do, what to say. I took a few more calming breaths and suddenly I was thankful to be home. And all I really wanted to do was run up those stairs and throw myself into Cate's arms.
I stood slowly, making sure I had my balance. Parker had already brought my few bags up to my apartment. He nodded at me with a somber look on his face as he stepped out the door and headed for the front seat of the car. I steeled my jaw, the cold fresh air a relief to my aching lungs. I sniffed and then stepped away from Carter. I kept my back to him for a moment.
"Thank you… for everything." I pressed my lips together tightly and then strode toward the doorstep.
"Eva, wait." Carter's voice trailed after me softly. I kept walking.
"I’m sorry," I heard him whisper as I climbed the steps and slammed the door behind me.
The End
Look for Book #4 in the Lace Series in March 2013.
A Note from the Author
Thanks to my quick and brutally honest beta reader Terri Thomas. Her input is always invaluable.
&n
bsp; Thanks to Karen Lawson, my proofreader, who is without a doubt worth her weight in gold.
And thanks to the dedicated readers of the Lace Series. I am humbled by your overwhelming support and enthusiasm for Carter and Eva's story. I am so honored.
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Rapture and Lace (Lace #3) (Lace Series) Page 8