She went to the kitchen and refilled the turkey’s bath with fresh hot water. A scratching sound drew her attention to the utility and the little mouse imprisoned in the bucket. She got some cheese from the fridge and placed a tiny bit next to the mouse. ‘It’s not vegan,’ she told him and he sniffed it cautiously.
Lottie desperately wanted everything to be perfect for Christmas Day. She checked her to-do list again, which freaked her out more. A giant yawn escaped. She really did need to try to get some sleep, and there was no more she could do tonight, so she trundled back to bed.
Lottie felt like she’d just drifted off to sleep when she was woken with a start by what sounded like distant gun shots. What on earth was happening? She was out of bed and onto the landing when she realised the noise was coming from downstairs. Her heart picked up its pace as her sleep-addled brain tried to figure it out. Zach stumbled onto the landing rubbing his eyes, and there was another rapid burst of bangs. They looked at each other and exclaimed simultaneously: ‘Balloons!’
The siblings raced downstairs and Lottie flung open the drawing room door to a symphony of popping. Zach pulled open the curtains in a dramatic movement. What were left of the inflated balloons lay amongst the scattered debris of shrivelled rubber. He put his hand on the radiator and flinched.
‘This is red hot. That’s what’s made them all pop.’
‘Bumholes,’ said Lottie, and a giggle escaped. Another balloon gave a sudden bang.
‘What idiot turned the heating up?’ he asked, good-humouredly.
‘What idiot put all the balloons next to the radiator?’ retorted Lottie, starting to pick up the colourful confetti of popped balloons.
‘I’m not blowing any more up,’ said Zach.
Lottie gave him a look that disagreed. ‘Top drawer.’
Zach’s shoulders slumped forward and he went to get them like a recalcitrant teenager. They spent the next half an hour chatting amiably, sharing memories and blowing up more balloons – thanks to Nana’s love of a buy-one-get-one-free offer, they had a lot. When they were out of puff they stood up to leave and surveyed the room. The tree still looked magnificent, a colourful pile of presents at its base – despite some torn wrapping thanks to Dave and the Duchess – and beyond that, the carpet was covered with multicoloured balloons like a haphazard rainbow.
‘I could just jump on all of those,’ said Zach.
‘Don’t you dare,’ said Lottie, giving him a thump. ‘Bed, or Santa won’t come.’
‘Santa’s already been and scared the crap out of my girlfriend, thanks very much.’
‘Sorry,’ she said, shutting the door on Christmas, but she was grinning from ear to ear.
They crept upstairs, but at the top a noise coming from down the corridor stole their attention. They both tiptoed closer until the sounds were clearer. They were met by a rhythmic boinging noise, similar to an over-enthusiastic gymnast on a dodgy trampoline, accompanied by their mother’s voice giving encouragement to Scott. Zach and Lottie looked at each other, their faces matching pictures of horror.
‘More balloons?’ suggested Zach.
‘Definitely,’ said Lottie, and they raced back downstairs.
Chapter Twelve
Christmas Day
Jessie opened her bedroom door and announced in a loud voice, with more than a passing resemblance to Noddy Holder, ‘It’s Chriiiiiiistmas!’
Lottie rolled over and squinted at her alarm clock. 6.23 a.m. Even though she knew it could have been much worse, she groaned. It had been another hour after they overheard her mother’s amorous antics before she’d dared to venture back upstairs. But she couldn’t laze about any longer: she had a date with a turkey the size of an overfed pterodactyl. She prayed to the Christmas dinner fairy that the beast of a bird had defrosted overnight.
It was Christmas Day. She shook herself awake: it was her favourite day of the year, and a big smile spread across her face. Then she remembered that she’d be spending most of it with Joe and her smile faded. People talked about the elephant in the room – but today she’d be spending her time trying not to get trampled by a whole herd.
Doors started to open and she dragged herself out of bed and pulled on her Chewbacca onesie. She’d had to put her old dressing gown in the wash after Dave’s antics the morning before. She pulled up the hood, shoved her feet into her old Star Wars slippers and shuffled onto the landing. A piercing scream jolted her to full consciousness.
‘Mum!’ yelled Lottie, pulling off her hood and grabbing her screaming mother by the arm.
‘You scared the life out of me, dressed up like that,’ scolded her mother.
‘Why? Who did you think would be coming out of my bedroom apart from me?’ The scream was still ringing in her ears.
Her mother bristled. ‘I don’t know.’ Lottie tilted her head, expecting a better answer. ‘A bear. Or bigfoot?’
‘In Henbourne?’ Lottie shook her head and plodded downstairs. She was tired and grumpy. She knew she had to get over that quickly or she’d spoil Christmas; probably not for everyone else, but certainly for herself.
She filled the kettle and fired up the coffee machine. Angie joined her in the kitchen.
‘Coffee?’ offered Lottie.
‘No bucks fizz?’ Angie pouted elaborately.
‘There’s buck but no fizz. You drank all the Prosecco yesterday. Remember?’ Lottie let out a giant yawn and didn’t cover her mouth.
‘Goodness. I saw all your fillings,’ said her mother, looking repulsed. ‘I thought you were joking about the fizz. Surely you can conjure some up from somewhere?’ Angie’s tone had changed to simpering.
‘I’m not bloody Harry Potter,’ said Lottie. She was kicking herself for not getting more Prosecco, but usually everyone stuck to wine. ‘We have wine and lots of sherry.’ There had been quite a bit of sherry in the order Nana had placed. Lottie suspected that maybe that was how Nana had managed to get through all of Christmas with a smile on her face.
‘Sherry?’ Angie recoiled. ‘I’d rather drink bleach.’
‘We have plenty of that too.’ Lottie pointed to the utility. Angie marched over to it. ‘I was joking,’ said Lottie.
‘I’m seeing what wine you’ve got. Scott and I won’t drink anything cheap, we have … arghhh!’
Lottie stuck her fingers in her ears. ‘Will you please stop screaming? It’s like living in a horror movie, except nobody’s died a painful death. Yet.’ She gave her mother a pointed look.
Angie scurried out of the utility. ‘There’s a mouse!’
‘Ooh yes, there is – and now that the Duchess is tucked up asleep I’ll release it back into the wild.’
‘The wild?’ Angie recoiled as Lottie retrieved the bucket, swinging it under her mother’s upturned nose on purpose.
‘Yes. Have you seen the state of the back garden?’ Lottie opened the back door, took a few steps outside and gently tipped the mouse out in some long grass. She came back in wishing she could escape that easily too. Having Joe there all day was a daunting prospect and one she wasn’t sure she was equipped for.
Angie was giving her a sideways look. ‘Has it gone?’
‘Yes, he’s off to tell his friends what an ace sleepover he’s had and how much he enjoyed the non-vegan cheese.’ And about the time he peed in the mulled wine, she thought.
Angie turned, her flowing nightie billowing theatrically as she stormed out. Lottie chuckled to herself; she was feeling less grumpy already.
After coffee and toast, both of which Angie complained about, they were ready to open the presents. Lottie sneaked into the drawing room ahead of everyone, sipped a glass of sherry to steel herself for the day ahead, and switched on all the fairy lights. She took a moment to savour the scene before the family descended. She wanted to remember this; capture it like a photo in her mind. My last Christmas morning at Henbourne Manor, she thought, and a sad sigh escaped.
‘Auntie Lottie, can we come in now?’ came Jessie’s eager voice f
rom the hallway.
‘Ta-dah!’ said Lottie, swinging open the door. Jessie ran in and came to an abrupt stop in front of the tree. Balloons bobbed at her feet. She turned back to Lottie and beamed at her. No words were needed – Lottie felt exactly the same. This was the magic of Christmas.
Everyone gathered in the drawing room and the sound of excited chatter was warming to the soul. Lottie heard the back door open and close and within seconds they were joined by the scruffy little dog, although he now had a rather fetching yellow bow tied around his neck.
‘Dave!’ shouted Jessie as the little dog jumped all over her making her giggle wildly. Lottie stared at the door, preparing herself to see Joe.
She didn’t have to wait long. The door opened and Joe tentatively peered in. The sight of him made her stomach flip, though that could have been the sherry she’d gulped down. She hadn’t been expecting him quite this early.
‘I’m bearing gifts.’ He handed her two boxes of mince pies and a nice bottle of Prosecco.
‘Ooh, fizz,’ said Angie, but Lottie hugged the bottle protectively to her chest and glared at her mother.
‘Thank you,’ Lottie said to Joe. ‘You didn’t have to.’ He gave a weak smile and she returned it. His smile spread into a grin and she wondered why until she glanced down – she was still wearing her Chewbacca onesie. She shrugged and tried to act nonchalant. They never got dressed until after presents, and she wasn’t changing to impress Joe – those days were long gone.
‘Presents!’ shouted Jessie.
‘Right, Jessie, you can go first,’ said Lottie. Jessie didn’t need telling twice; she was already in a paper ripping frenzy.
‘It’s a unicorn!’ she yelled, holding up a box with a large white fluffy toy inside. ‘Thanks Emily.’ The little girl threw her arms around Emily’s neck and kissed her. Lottie and Zach exchanged looks. Lottie had the distinct feeling Zach was trying to communicate something, but she couldn’t be sure. Perhaps she was reading too much into it. Jessie began reading labels and handing round presents. The room’s volume escalated in line with Jessie’s excitement, and before long they were drowning out Michael Bublé – Nana’s favourite.
After a few minutes, the months of shopping, buying and wrapping had been reduced to a sea of shredded wrapping paper, ribbons and bows. Lottie surveyed the devastation surrounding them. The Duchess had already found a bow she liked the look of and was batting it about happily under the watchful eye of Dave, who was held firm in Joe’s strong hands.
Jessie had a pile of stuff, as every child should – including a Hungry Hippos game, which Lottie was looking forward to playing. Aunt Nicola was cooing over the latest in robotic hoovers and Uncle Daniel was telling anyone who’d listen how much it had cost. Angie and Scott were giggling over the underwear they’d bought each other, and a pair of dinosaur socks. She was sure Zach wouldn’t miss the socks she’d originally bought for him. Scott seemed genuinely thrilled with them and she saw Zach eye them appreciatively. Oh well, she could always get Zach a pair for his birthday.
Joe was looking like the little boy who Santa Claus forgot. She felt bad that he was the only one without something to open. If she’d realised he was going to be there for present opening, she would have hastily relabelled another of Zach’s presents. Despite everything that had happened between them, it was still Christmas. Perhaps there was something she could do instead.
‘Watcha get?’ asked Zach, leaning over her. Lottie was very pleased with her present haul.
‘Thanks for these,’ she said pointing at the new Star Wars slippers she so desperately needed. ‘Smellies, chocolates and gift cards mainly. I got this from Uncle Bernie.’ She held up a woolly hat with Yoda ears. ‘And a nice top from Fat Face.’
‘You shouldn’t call Mum that,’ he said in mock horror and she laughed.
Apart from her mother bundling up the extra-long hot water bottle Lottie had bought her and muttering something about Lottie trying to ruin her sex life, everyone seemed happy and that was all Lottie was really aiming for.
Emily had opened her things from her mum and dad in between watching Jessie open her presents.
‘Right,’ said Zach, drawing everyone’s attention. ‘Emily’s turn.’
Emily felt uncomfortable as all eyes turned on her. Something squirmed in her stomach as she wondered what he’d got her.
He handed her a beautifully wrapped box. ‘This isn’t your main present.’
‘Oh, okay. Thank you.’ She opened it hastily. ‘It’s that hand cream I liked.’ She smeared a little on – it smelled divine. ‘Thanks,’ she said leaning over to give him a kiss.
She waited for him to produce the second gift, but he was sitting there looking apprehensive.
‘Your other present is in the tree,’ he said, and they both looked at the large spruce. ‘You need to have a hunt to find it.’
‘O-kay,’ said Emily slowly. This was unusual. She had no idea what she was looking for, but she suspected some sort of joke present. She got up, smoothed down her dress – still feeling a bit conspicuous for not being in her pyjamas like most of the others – and knelt in front of the tree. She moved the ripped paper out of the way and looked about the base of the tree. Nothing. No more presents left. She gave Zach a questioning look.
‘Look in the branches,’ said Zach, moving to the edge of his seat.
Emily peered into the middle of the tree. Everyone was watching, so she didn’t want to snag her hair on the branches. She carefully leaned in. The smell of pine was more intense and the tiny lights flickered around her face. She blinked and traced methodically along the closest branches, with no idea what she was looking for. There was nothing there. She tilted her head up and scanned the higher branches. Still nothing.
‘Emily?’ asked Zach. ‘Have you found it?’
‘Nope.’ She stuck her head out from under the tree. ‘How big is it? Is the paper the same colour as the tree, by any chance? Because I can’t see anything.’
Zach gave a jaunty raise of his eyebrow. ‘It’s not wrapped. And it’s quite small.’
‘Oh, okay,’ said Emily, trying not to convey her disappointment that he’d not bothered to wrap this present. Apparently it was wrapped in a tree.
A couple more minutes passed, and people started to chat amongst themselves. Lottie joined Zach on the sofa. ‘I’m sure when you pictured this it was a lovely idea, but …’
‘I can’t find it, Zach,’ she said, pulling her head out and catching her hair in the branches. ‘Ow.’ Emily reversed from under the tree and sat on the floor.
‘I’ll help,’ said Zach, and he dived inside the Christmas tree.
Joe sat down in Zach’s vacated seat on the sofa. ‘Has charades started early?’ he asked, indicating Zach’s bum sticking out from under the Christmas tree.
‘Missing present,’ said Lottie.
Zach crawled out from under the tree. ‘I need a word,’ he said to Lottie, with a grimace, and they left the room together.
Emily felt like she was in a parallel universe. Nothing made sense. Christmas with her family was far more straightforward. She’d missed not having scrambled egg on toast in bed – that was one of their Christmas treats. And presents were a simple affair where people handed them to each other and unwrapped them one at a time. This was all rather strange.
Jessie was playing with her new toys, and everyone else was sipping drinks and having a closer look at their presents. Emily looked at hers. She had a colouring book for adults from Jessie and a book titled Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind from her sister – she feared it wasn’t a joke present. There was a pretty hand cream set from Lottie, and a small cheque from her mum and dad with a note not to cash it until the end of January. She shuffled herself along the sofa to where her drink was and remembered that she’d chosen orange juice, which was more than a disappointment – she’d prefer something a little stronger. Great Uncle Bernard was puzzling over four tins of tuna someone had bought him and Angie was checking
if anyone had batteries – although Emily couldn’t see any gifts that needed them. Spending Christmas with someone else’s family was proving to be an odder experience than she’d expected.
Chapter Thirteen
In the chilly hallway Lottie waved her arms as if she was directing a plane onto an aircraft carrier. ‘Slow down, stop gabbling and start from the beginning.’
Zach took a deep breath. ‘I hid Emily’s present in the tree yesterday and—’
‘Why?’ This seemed like an odd thing to do.
‘Because I read it somewhere and thought it sounded romantic and now it’s gone and—’
‘What’s gone?’
‘The present.’ Lottie tilted her head with the level of menace only a younger sibling can muster. ‘I don’t want to say what it is because then it spoils the surprise.’
‘She’s not five, Zach. And it’s not my surprise, so you can tell me.’
Zach’s brows knitted together, and he drew in a long, slow breath. ‘Okay,’ he said, reluctantly. ‘But I swear if you breathe a word to anyone … you remember the flowerpot incident?’ Lottie flinched. ‘Right. Then we understand each other.’
‘Well?’ Lottie was growing impatient.
Zach looked furtively around the entrance hall and lowered his voice. ‘It’s a diamond engagement ring.’
‘Squeeeeeeeeee!’
‘Shhhhhhhhhhh!’
The drawing room door opened and Rhys came out. Briefly wrong-footed by the welcome party in the hallway, he held up his Christmas present – a state-of-the-art metal detector. ‘Going to put this upstairs. Thanks for the cash Uncle Zach and the Nando’s gift card Auntie Lottie.’
‘You’re welcome,’ they chorused, looking very suspicious as they grinned at him and followed his progress all the way to the top of the stairs. They stayed silent until they heard the box room’s door creak shut.
One Family Christmas: The perfect, cosy, heart-warming read to curl up with this winter Page 11