by S. E. Lund
“Drake, I thought I’d let you know that Maureen and Liam are back in town for a follow-up and because Liam is having a few issues with his liver enzymes. I know she’s pretty sticky about you becoming involved, but I thought you should know just in case she hasn’t told you. It’s his nine-month check and they have him in the children’s ward to treat the liver issues.”
I rubbed my forehead, biting back a bitter comment. “Thanks, Jim. I appreciate the heads-up. You’re right about Maureen. She doesn’t want me to see him.”
“Not really fair, in my opinion, considering you saved his life…”
“There’s not much I can do, and I don’t want to cause any real issues in their family. I’ll call her and see if I can at least see him from a distance.”
Jim sighed audibly and I could tell he didn’t agree with Maureen on the need to keep Liam from any contact with me so he wouldn’t be confused.
“If worst comes to worst, you let me know and I’ll see what I can do to facilitate a meeting. She stays with him pretty much 24/7 but there might be an hour here and there where she leaves him alone. If so, I’ll give you a call.”
“Thanks,” I said, a sense of gloom settling over me. “I appreciate it.”
I ended the call and sat staring out my window at the courtyard. I was furious that Maureen was in town with Liam, and that Liam was sick but she hadn’t contacted me to let me know. Liver complications after bone marrow transplant could be life threatening. As his biological father, and as the one whose stem cells saved his life, I should at least be told.
I called Maureen’s cell. Surprisingly, she hadn’t changed the number, although she didn’t answer and my call went to voice mail.
“Hi, Maureen. I hear through the grapevine that Liam is here for his nine-month check and is having problems with his liver enzymes. Can we talk? You have my number.”
I hung up and then, despite knowing I shouldn’t, I left my office and went to the children’s ward. I wouldn’t barge in on Liam, but I would go to the waiting room and let the nurses know I wanted to speak with Maureen.
On my way, and to my surprise, Maureen called. “Drake? Who told you we were here?”
“Who told me doesn’t matter,” I said, fighting to keep control over the tone of my voice. “What matters is Liam. I want to see his chart, and talk to his team. Considering I saved his life, it’s the least you can do if you won’t let me see him personally.”
There was silence on the line. I climbed the stairs and waited. I could practically hear steam coming out of her ears, but she held her anger in.
“I don’t want him becoming confused, Drake. He’s only known one father all his life. Chris.”
“Chris is his father. I know that. I just want to see him. I could pretend to be just another doctor checking on him.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment. “You can look at his files and talk to whomever you want. I’ll think about whether you can see him.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I’m coming up right now.”
“Don’t come into his room,” she said, her voice raised. “I don’t want anything to upset him.”
“I won’t,” I said, trying to keep my calm doctor voice, but it was hard. I wanted to shout at her. “I promise.”
I rounded the corner to the Children’s ward, past the brightly decorated wall and play area, to the small waiting room across from the nursing station. I went up to the counter and said hello to the nurses there. Just then, Maureen came down the hall from one of the isolation rooms. She arrived at the station and stood beside me, and by the expression on her face, I could tell she wasn’t at all happy.
She turned to the nurses, who sat staring up at us. “Dr. Morgan has my permission to look at Liam’s files and speak with any of you regarding his care. He is not allowed to visit Liam unless I say so.”
The nurses glanced at me, expressions of surprise on their faces.
The charge nurse handed me Liam’s file. “Thank you,” I said. “I’ll sit in the waiting room and read.”
“You can go into the conference room if you want,” Cathy, one of the peds nurses said. “It’s more comfortable and there’s a desk in case you want to make notes or anything.”
“Okay. I want to make copies of some of the reports and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“Be my guest.”
I turned to Maureen. “Shall we talk?” I motioned to the conference room.
“I was busy reading to Liam,” she said. “’The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe’. Maybe later.”
I nodded. “Call me later and we can talk, either in my office or on the phone.”
She turned and went back down the hallway to Liam’s room without another word, but by how stiff her back was, I could tell she was holding it in.
“Do you mind?” I said and pointed to the photocopier in the alcove off the nursing station. “I’ll make a copy for my own files and then I’ll be gone.”
“Sure, Dr. Morgan,” Cathy said. “If you need anything, let me know.” She smiled warmly at me and I was sure I had her on my side, if things got sticky with Maureen.
“Can you page me if anything happens with Liam? Any time.”
She nodded and I went to the photocopier and made my copies. Then, without seeing Liam, I went back to my own office and sat down to read the files.
According to his notes, Liam’s oncologist wasn’t too concerned about the liver enzymes and admitted him as a precautionary measure, to monitor his meds and to facilitate tests that would take place over the next day or two. So I relaxed, my sense of alarm decreasing just a bit. I lost track of time, reading the files and speaking with his oncologist, and didn’t realize it was well past eight. I usually was home at seven thirty for dinner with Kate. I pulled out my cell and there was no message from her, so I called.
She answered on the second ring so I knew she was waiting for me.
“Hi, love,” I said, smiling when I heard her voice. “I’m sorry I’ll be late getting home, but I’m at the hospital still. Maureen brought Liam back in for some tests and he’s been admitted to the children’s ward. I’ve been reading over his files and talking to his doctors and lost track of time.”
“Stay as long as you need,” she said, her voice soft. “I’m fine here on my own. I’ll put your dinner in the oven to stay warm.”
“What’s on the menu?”
“Just roast chicken and the usual suspects. Potatoes. Vegetables.”
“Sounds delicious. I won’t be too long,” I said. “Maybe another hour. Thanks for understanding.”
“Drake, of course I understand. He’s your son. I’m surprised Maureen is letting you see him.”
“She’s not. At least, not yet. I hope to wear her down with my charm and debonair demeanor.”
She laughed at that. “Worked on me.”
“See you later. I love you.”
“I love you, Drake.”
I hung up, a warm feeling in my chest, that was a relief after the revelation of Maureen and Liam’s return to Manhattan without letting me know.
It was while I was researching liver complications post-bone marrow transplant that Jim called once more.
“Maureen left for dinner,” he said, his voice conspiratorial. “You could pop down and meet me in his room. I’m going in to do a check on my patients and so I’ll be there anyway.”
“Jim, I hate to put you in this position.”
“The boy is your damn son,” Jim said sourly. “It’s the least I can do. Come in the back hallway. The nurses probably won’t see you if I distract them. Come right now, if you want to pop in and see Liam.”
“I’m on my way.”
I put my white lab coat on, hung my stethoscope around my neck and made my way back to the children’s ward using the rear entrance, hoping that none of Liam’s nurses saw me in the meantime. When I came up the rear stairs, I opened the door and checked down the hallway. Sure enough the portly figure of Jim was standing at t
he nursing station, and he was no doubt regaling them with his southern charm.
I was able to slip down the hall to Liam’s room and pop in undetected, going through the anteroom and suiting up so I wouldn’t pass on any germs. Liam was looking really good, compared to how I last saw him, and I felt a tug at my heart to see his face when he glanced up from a comic book in his hands.
“Hello, young man,” I said and went to the side of his bed. “I’m a doctor at the hospital and just wanted to check how you’re doing.”
“I’m good,” he said and put down his comic while I placed the stethoscope over his heart and listened to his breath sounds and felt his pulse with the other hand. Everything was fine, and I noted they had an IV line in but he was on fluid restriction due to fluid retention. “I’m here for tests,” Liam said. Matter-of-fact. “It’s been nine months since I had my transplant.”
“You’re a very lucky young man,” I said, smiling at his grown-up tone. “How are you feeling?”
He shrugged. “A bit tired, but that’s because our plane was late. I’m okay.”
“Good,” I said. I felt his abdomen, and noted that his liver was slightly enlarged, which was common when the liver was affected. Liam was on anti-rejection drugs and would be the rest of his life. There were occasional complications a while after transplantation.
Jim popped his head in and smiled at Liam. “Well, hello there young man,” he said with his warm southern drawl. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine,” Liam said, eyeing his comic as if he wanted to get back.
“My spies tell me that your mom is coming back up with something from the cafeteria. I thought I’d pop in before she gets back and see how you’re doing so I don’t keep you from your treats.”
I took that as my cue to leave and so I turned to Liam and felt his forehead, brushed his hair, which was now a few inches long and dark like mine.
“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” I said to him. “Have a good sleep tonight.”
He nodded, very solemn as if it was doctor’s orders instead of me trying to find something else to say to him.
I turned, my throat choked, and placed my hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Really, really appreciate it, doctor,” I said softly.
“My pleasure,” he said, nodding knowingly.
I opened the door and checked the hallway, but it was empty, so I slipped down the hallway to the stairs back to my office, my heart in my throat. Just as I was opening the door, Maureen called out to me.
“Drake!”
She rushed down the hallway towards me and so I stopped at the door and braced myself for her wrath.
“What the hell, Drake? Here I try to be nice and let you read his file and you disobey my orders and go in and see him anyway?”
I clenched my fists without thinking and then tried to relax, taking in a deep breath. “I’m not into obedience, Maureen.”
“Obviously,” she said. “Do I have to get another restraining order?”
My blood pressure was sure to have spiked at that, adrenaline flooding through me. “Of course not.”
“What did you say to him?”
At that precise moment, Jim left Liam’s room. Maureen saw him and her face was one of shock.
“You!” she said and glanced between the two of us. “Here I thought you understood my reasons for not wanting Drake to get involved.”
Jim straightened up to full height, his blue eyes hard. He took hold of his lapels like an old southern gentleman and held his chin up.
“Drake’s the boy’s biological father and saved his damn life. I saw that as a good enough reason for him to pop in. He was there for only five minutes and never said anything about who he was.”
Maureen looked at me and then at Jim. “If you even dare try to see him again, I will get a restraining order.” Then, she pushed past Jim and into Liam’s room.
I shook my head. “Jesus Christ.” I stood with my hands on my hips and stared at the ground, trying to control my emotions. “Sorry about that, Jim. Hate to get you in trouble.”
“She doesn’t have a restraining order against you. You’re a consulting doctor. And his damn father. It’s no trouble at all.”
“I better run,” I said and opened the door to the stairwell. “Don’t want to hang around and risk further wrath of the mother.”
“You take care, now.”
I left Jim standing in the hallway, his pride still bristling, and went back to my office. By the time I arrived, my adrenaline was burned off and I was left weak, my heart pounding.
Damn her! The boy was my son. He had more than my DNA. He had my bone marrow. I saved his life and she wouldn’t even let me see him. At that moment, my emotions overwhelmed me, and I sat with my head in my hands.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Kate
Drake arrived home later than usual, and drunk, Ken having dropped him off sometime before midnight. That wasn’t like Drake – he rarely drank too much, and was always in control over himself. Ken looked at me sheepishly while I grabbed Drake by the shoulder and helped him in.
“I’m sorry,” Drake said to me.
“He’s really sorry,” Ken said, his own words slurred. “He had a fight with Maureen and she threatened him with a restraining order.”
I helped Drake to the sofa and then went back to the door where Ken was leaning against the doorjamb.
“Thanks for bringing him home. I hope you two took a taxi.”
“We did,” Ken said and smiled crookedly. “Take it easy, buddy,” he said to Drake, who was leaning back on the sofa, his eyes closed, his jacket still on. Drake didn’t say anything, just waved his hand in response.
Ken left and I closed the door behind him, turning back to a very quiet Drake. Had he fallen asleep? How drunk was he?
I knelt down in front of him and removed his shoes, one after the other. He cracked his eyes open and watched me.
“That’s what I like to see – you on your knees before me.” He grinned.
I smiled in return, glad that he still had his sense of humor. “Any time,” I said wryly, “oh, Lord and Master.”
“Master sounds good,” he replied and closed his eyes once more. “Not much of one tonight. Sorry but I needed a drink and didn’t want to bother you so I went to O’Riley’s. I know you’re working on your paper.”
“It’s okay.”
Then, I removed his gloves and pulled his arms out of his coat sleeves before nestling next to him.
“What happened?”
He shrugged and slipped his arm around my shoulders. “Nothing really to tell except I snuck in to see Liam and Maureen threatened me with a restraining order. Can you believe it?”
I shook my head. “No, I can’t. The boy is yours, Drake. You saved his life. The least she could do is let you see him.”
“My thoughts exactly. I had a little help from Jim Kerrigan, one of the oncologists who treated Liam. He let me sneak in while Maureen was down in the cafeteria getting something to eat but she came back sooner than we thought.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “She’s going to do her best to keep you from him. Maybe when he’s more grown up and is ready to understand things, she’ll let you two meet.”
“I’ll miss his entire life,” Drake said, his voice cracking with emotion.
“I know,” I said. “I’m sorry. Let me get you a drink of water and some Tylenol. You should go to bed.”
I helped him up and he walked with me to our bedroom. Once there, I sat him on the side of the bed and began to undress him. He watched me closely, but whereas he would usually get a gleam in his eyes when I undressed him, the gleam promising me a great deal of pleasure, he didn’t have any kind of gleam that night.
“You’re so good to me,” he said.
“I am,” I said and smiled, wanting to lighten the mood. “It’s only because I love you.”
He pulled me into his arms at that. “I love you.”
We kissed, but it didn’t dev
elop into anything more. Once he was naked, I rolled him into bed and under the covers. He sighed heavily and snuggled down into the thick coverlet.
“Don’t fall asleep yet,” I said and leaned down and kissed his cheek. “I have to get your Tylenol and water.”
I left him and got a glass of water and the pills, and then returned. He sat up briefly, took the pills and drank down the entire glass.
“When’s your next surgery?” I said, feeling bad that he had to work in the morning.
“None tomorrow. Just a class and office hours.”
“That’s good,” I said and took the empty glass away. “Go to sleep.”
“I love you,” he said once more.
I kissed him and pulled the covers up around his neck. “I love you.”
I left him in the darkness, my paper waiting on the desk. It would be a few more hours before I could go to sleep because I wanted to get the first draft of my introduction turned in to my supervisor before the end of the week. I went back to my desk and sat staring at the paper, reading the same paragraph over and over again, unable to focus, my thoughts on Drake and his son and how sad it was that he would miss Liam’s childhood.
The next morning, after Drake left, I sat with my coffee staring at the screen on my laptop, searching for the right guide to take us to visit the Harenna Forest and the crash site in Ethiopia, and then, to the Loisaba Lodge in Kenya. There was so much I wanted to do in Ethiopia on top of visiting Liam’s grave. I wanted to go to the Great Rift Valley and see if I could visit a paleontological dig site at Oldupai – maybe the site where they found Lucy – the oldest human ancestor. I remembered Drake saying Ethiopia was Liam’s favorite place and so I wanted to visit.
I contacted several outfitters who hired out guides for Oldupai and Harenna, and arranged to visit Liam’s grave during the first week of the trip and the second week would be spent in Kenya. I was lucky to get two guides at such a late date, for the guides usually booked months in advance.