Amy smiled shyly at him. ‘It’s here.’ She pointed to the place between her breasts where she had pinned the brooch to her chemise.
‘I’ll have to take your word for that, won’t I?’ Jimmy said, his eyes dancing.
The sky soon broke into drizzle and occasional downpours. Amy and Susannah spent the day ironing, an exercise that did not normally put Susannah in the best of tempers, but Jimmy sat in the kitchen with them for much of the time, feeding Susannah’s insatiable desire for news of Auckland.
The weather showed no sign of improving over the next few days. Jimmy joined Amy in the dairy on Friday morning, but she could tell from his restlessness as he wandered around the room that he was tired of being trapped inside so much.
‘What would you do if you were home and it got rainy like this?’ she asked as she formed the butter into pats.
‘Oh, there’s always something to do. Visit people, maybe go to the theatre.’
‘The theatre! Do you go there much?’
‘Quite a lot. I went to a Shakespeare play a couple of months ago, it was… what was it? That one with the girl and her old father stuck on a island—do you know anything about Shakespeare?’ he asked, looking at Amy doubtfully.
‘That’s The Tempest,’ said Amy. ‘ “I might call him a thing divine, for nothing natural I ever saw so noble.” That’s what Miranda says when she first sees Ferdinand, because she’s never seen anyone like…’ She trailed off, seeing Jimmy’s surprised expression. I hope he doesn’t think I’m showing off.
‘There’s more to you than meets the eye,’ he said. ‘So you’re keen on plays, are you? Where on earth do you manage to see them?’
‘I’ve never been to a play,’ she admitted. ‘I just read them sometimes.’
‘Do you think you’d like to see one?’
‘I’d love it.’ For a few moments Amy was so lost in contemplation that she forgot to work the butter. ‘But they don’t ever come to little places like Ruatane, and I never go anywhere else.’ She gave him a sad smile.
‘Would you like to go somewhere else? Maybe Auckland?’
‘It’s what I’d like more than anything in the world,’ Amy said fervently. ‘I used to think I might be able to when I was…’
‘When you were what? What were you going to say? Tell me, Amy.’
But she shook her head and fought down the tears that came at the memory of how her teaching had been taken away from her. ‘Not now. Maybe I’ll tell you another time.’ She washed the butter patters and put them away neatly. ‘I’ve finished now, I’ll just wash my hands then we’d better go inside.’
‘What about a kiss first?’ Without waiting for her reply he put his arms around her waist and kissed her, a longer embrace this time. She held her buttery hands out awkwardly, anxious not to brush them against his sleeves.
‘You should have let me wash my hands first,’ she scolded when her mouth was free.
‘No, I shouldn’t,’ he said with his infectious grin. ‘This way you couldn’t push me away.’
‘Why on earth would I want to push you away?’ she asked in bewilderment.
She got an even broader grin in return. ‘Why indeed?’ he echoed.
*
‘Grey sky again,’ Jimmy said in disgust when he joined Amy for breakfast on Saturday morning. ‘How long do you think it’s going to carry on like this?’
‘Not much longer, I shouldn’t think,’ Amy said, trying to sound encouraging. ‘January’s usually really sunny.’ She frowned, searching for something he might enjoy. ‘Would you like to see Pa kill a sheep?’
‘Oh. All right, I suppose it’d be a change. What are you going to do this morning?’
‘I’ll come and watch, too—I haven’t done that for years.’
‘You’re not serious, are you?’
‘Yes,’ Amy said, surprised at his look of disbelief. ‘I used to when I was little—I’ve only got brothers, you know, so I was always hanging around with them, and they were always hanging around Pa.’
‘Well, as long as you think you’ll be all right. I’ll be there to keep an eye on you, anyway.’
‘Why wouldn’t I be all right?’ she asked, puzzled, but Jimmy just smiled at her.
After the other men had breakfasted, Amy led Jimmy out to the killing area. ‘There’s Pa now.’ She pointed to where her father was half-riding, half-dragging an unwilling sheep to the slaughter.
Jack brought the sheep close to the base of a big, old karaka tree near where Amy and Jimmy stood. ‘Come to see the fun, eh? You can give me a hand in a minute, Jimmy.’ He pulled a large knife from his belt as he spoke. Keeping a tight grip on the sheep with his legs, he hooked one arm under its chin and forced its head back. He slashed the blade across the animal’s throat and the sheep’s struggles abruptly stopped. Jack threw the knife, now thick with blood, onto the grass, then wrenched the sheep’s head back with a jerk. ‘That’s broken her neck,’ he said as he let the carcass drop to the ground. ‘Faster than just cutting her throat.’
Amy glanced from the sheep to Jimmy to see if he was finding it interesting. She was surprised to see that he looked rather pale; she supposed it must be the heat. Although the sun was hidden, the day was becoming uncomfortably humid. She looked back to see that her father already had the sheep half-skinned, and had attached the rope slung over a branch of the tree to the sheep’s back legs.
‘Give a tug on this rope,’ he said to Jimmy. ‘Your arms are younger than mine.’
As if in a daze, Jimmy moved to obey him. He hauled on the rope until the carcass was swinging free, and Jack took the rope from his hands to tie it.
Jack retrieved his knife from the ground and made a long cut down the front of the carcass, then he reached into the cavity he had made and pulled at something. A mass of offal spilled out through the cut and landed in a bloody heap on the ground. Amy glanced at it, then back to where her father was finishing off skinning the sheep.
‘This is a good bit, when he pulls the skin right off.’ She turned to see if Jimmy was watching carefully. ‘Jimmy, you’ve gone a funny colour. Do you want to get out of the heat?’
Jimmy turned a horror-stricken face to her, but instead of answering he turned away, leaned over and vomited, then walked rather unsteadily towards the house.
‘Jimmy?’ Amy called after him. ‘Pa, Jimmy’s not very well.’
‘Weak stomach,’ Jack said. ‘City folk, girl—he’s not used to this sort of thing. How about you tie this rope for me when I’ve hauled it a bit higher?’
Amy fastened the rope securely, then rushed back to the house to check on Jimmy.
She found him sitting on the back steps, his face still somewhat green. He looked up at her approach and grimaced. ‘I made a fool of myself then, didn’t I?’
‘No, of course you didn’t,’ Amy protested. ‘It’s my fault, really—I know Susannah doesn’t like things like that, but I didn’t think you’d mind, because you’re a man.’
‘I’m meant to be a man,’ he muttered. ‘That sort of thing doesn’t make you feel sick?’
‘No—I’d never get anything to eat if Pa didn’t kill animals, so why should it worry me?’
‘Well, you must despise me now,’ he said dejectedly. ‘You watched it without turning a hair while I lost my breakfast.’
‘That’s only because you’re not used to it! If you’d seen hundreds of sheep killed like I have it wouldn’t worry you, either. Anyway,’ she looked at him shyly, ‘I don’t think I could ever despise you.’
‘You know what, Amy?’ Jimmy said, smiling at her. ‘You’re not only the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, you’re the sweetest one, too. And the one with the strongest stomach!’ He laughed, and Amy joined in his laughter.
*
Haymaking began on the last day of the year. Arthur cut his hay first, and on Wednesday morning while Amy was taking her loaves of bread out of the oven Jimmy set off with Jack and his sons to help with raking the hay.
&nb
sp; ‘That’s hard work,’ Jimmy told her when he came home just in time for dinner. Jack had returned earlier with John and Harry to do the milking. ‘I’m going to have some aches and pains tomorrow! It’s good to get out in the fresh air again, though.’
‘Did you see Lizzie?’
Jimmy laughed. ‘I certainly did! Every time I turned around she seemed to be there with food and drink, then she’d hang around to watch Frank eat it. She’ll get some fat on him when she’s got him to the altar.’
On Friday Amy decided to go and see for herself how the haymaking was going. Late in the afternoon, when her father and brothers had already come home, she walked over to her uncle’s farm. She could see the haystack from some distance away, and when she got closer she saw Jimmy working beside Frank, pitching hay onto the stack. Lizzie seemed to have found some excuse to stand around watching the work, and Amy went up to her.
‘Hey, Amy,’ Jimmy called. ‘Look at this—I’m getting good at it!’ He hurled a forkful of hay to the top of the stack. The hay landed almost in the centre of the flat top. ‘Frank’s a good teacher, eh?’
‘You’re getting better at it than I am,’ Frank said, sending up a forkful that only just reached the top.
‘Skite,’ Amy heard Lizzie mutter. ‘Showing off like that—Frank can’t help it if his arms are six inches shorter than that one’s.’
‘Beginner’s luck! And I bet you won’t be stiff and sore like I will tomorrow—you’re used to this sort of work.’ Jimmy clapped Frank on the back.
‘He’s not skiting, Lizzie,’ Amy scolded. ‘You’ve got to stop going crook if anyone even looks at Frank the wrong way. I think Jimmy’s being really nice to him.’
‘Humph!’ Lizzie said in disgust. ‘You’re a fine one to talk—you’re quick enough to jump down my throat if I say a word against His Lordship.’ She gave Amy a hard look. ‘You are getting a bit keen on him, aren’t you?’
‘Maybe I am,’ Amy admitted. ‘Just a little bit.’ Her hand crept towards the hidden brooch. ‘He’s so nice to me all the time. And he’s interesting to talk to—not like the people round here. He doesn’t just talk about cows and drains all the time.’ She watched Jimmy, admiring the strength she could see at work in his long, lean body.
‘What’s wrong with cows and drains?’ Lizzie demanded. ‘That sort of thing’s important, isn’t it?’
‘It’s not interesting, though. Don’t let’s talk about it, you’ll only get grumpy. Haymaking’s a good excuse for you to have Frank around every day.’
‘I suppose so. I don’t get to see much of him, though—not by ourselves, I mean. Never mind,’ Lizzie said, brightening. ‘We’ll have the hay dance next month, I’ll have Frank to myself there. I suppose he’ll be coming with you?’ She indicated Jimmy with her thumb.
‘Of course he will—he’ll come with John and Harry and me.’
‘Mmm.’ Lizzie looked about as if to see if anyone was listening. ‘I might even let Frank kiss me after the dance,’ she said to Amy in a conspiratorial tone.
‘Haven’t you yet?’
‘Don’t you think I would have told you if I had?’
‘I… I didn’t really think about it. I just thought you would have got up to kissing by now, that’s all.’
‘Well, he hasn’t proposed to me yet, so I’ve got to be a bit careful.’
‘Just a kiss, though, Lizzie—there’s no harm in that, is there?’
‘No—that’s why I think I might let him.’ She looked superior. ‘Of course I wouldn’t expect you to understand about all that—you’re two years younger than me, after all.’
‘One and a half,’ Amy corrected absently, watching Jimmy as she let Lizzie’s words fall in her ear barely heeded. Lizzie wasn’t such an expert as she tried to make out, Amy thought. She gave a tiny smile as she wondered how Lizzie would react if told about Jimmy’s kisses.
‘That’s it,’ Jimmy said, walking up to the girls. ‘The slaves have finished for the day. Are you coming home with me, Amy?’
‘Of course.’ She turned to say goodbye to Lizzie, but her cousin was already scurrying over towards Frank.
Jimmy caught Amy’s hand when they had climbed the boundary fence and she was about to take the most direct route to the house. ‘There’s no rush, is there?’ he asked. ‘Couldn’t we take the longer way back—maybe through those trees?’ He pointed to a clump of uncleared bush to their left.
‘Well… I expect we could take a bit longer without anyone noticing. They won’t have finished milking yet.’
As soon as they had entered the grove Jimmy took her hand. After a few steps they both stopped, as if by unspoken agreement. ‘A bit of privacy at last,’ Jimmy said. ‘We’ve hardly had any time to talk lately.’ He held out his arms and she allowed herself to be enfolded in them. ‘Mmm,’ he said, running one hand up and down her back. ‘You’re so nice and soft to hold, not all stiff with whalebone.’
Amy laid her face against his chest and savoured his touch. ‘I won’t start wearing grown-up dresses till I’m seventeen or eighteen.’ Will I feel all stiff and hard to you then? Will you still like me?
He nuzzled at her hair. ‘You know what, Amy? All day long I’ve been thinking about you, wondering when I’d see you—I had trouble keeping my mind on the work—and then you turn up like magic just in time to walk home with me.’
‘I’ve been thinking about you all day, too.’
‘You are a bit magic aren’t you?’ he said fondly. ‘A bit of a changeling, anyway. You’re so different from all the other people around here—they’re nice enough, but a bit… well, rough and ready. Not you, though. You don’t belong in a place like this—you should be at a ball in Auckland, dressed in a beautiful gown and turning all the men’s heads.’ He tilted her face up with one hand. ‘You’ve turned mine,’ he said softly, just before he kissed her.
A thrill ran through Amy at his words and his touch. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him back. The kiss went on for a long time, and when Jimmy lifted his face away from hers she could see amused surprise in his eyes.
‘You liked that, did you, little one? I’ll have to find some other things you’ll like.’
She smiled back rather uncertainly, hoping she hadn’t done anything she shouldn’t have. But then he kissed her again, and she lost herself in the pleasure of his embrace.
His hands moved across her back. She became aware that one of them had slipped through the wide armhole of her pinafore and was inching across her dress towards her breasts. She disengaged her lips from his with difficulty, but he kept his hand where it was. ‘What are you doing?’ she said in alarm.
‘Just checking if you’re wearing my present.’ He slid his hand closer to one breast.
‘Yes, I am. Don’t do that, Jimmy.’ She tried to pull away from him, but his other arm held her firmly.
‘You like it really, don’t you?’ He cupped her breast in his hand.
‘No, I don’t—you mustn’t touch me there! Please stop.’ She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed hard, but he gave a chuckle and squeezed her breast harder. ‘If you don’t stop I… I’ll yell for help,’ Amy said in desperation, tears welling up in her eyes. ‘I will!’
He took his hands off her suddenly, and now that she was no longer being held Amy took an involuntary step backwards. She found that she was shaking.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said in an oddly flat tone. ‘There’s no excuse for what I just did.’ He turned away from her and leaned his arm against a branch, then let his head fall onto the arm. ‘I’d better go.’ His words came muffled through his sleeve.
‘We’ll both go—it’s time for me to help Susannah with dinner, anyway.’
‘That’s not what I meant.’ Jimmy lifted his head and turned to face her. ‘I’d better go right away from here. I’ll go into town tomorrow and find out when the boat’s leaving next.’
‘No!’ Amy reached her hand out towards him, then let it drop awkwardly to her side. ‘Pleas
e don’t go,’ she begged. ‘I don’t want you to go away.’
‘I’ve got to. If I stay, I know something like that’s going to happen again—I can’t help myself.’ He looked at her with something like torment in his face. ‘I thought you were encouraging me. That’s still no excuse. Goodbye, Amy.’ He turned away and walked towards the house, leaving Amy with tears streaming down her cheeks.
‘Don’t go,’ she whispered, but he was already almost at the edge of the trees. Being touched in that way suddenly didn’t seem so terrible, not compared with losing him. ‘Jimmy,’ she sobbed, then she picked up her skirts and ran to him, catching hold of his sleeve. ‘Please don’t leave me. I couldn’t stand it if you left me.’
Jimmy turned to her and slowly enfolded her in his arms. ‘I thought you might hate me after what I just did.’
She shook her head emphatically. ‘I’ll never hate you, no matter what you do. Jimmy, I… I think I love you.’ She hid her face against his chest, but he cupped her chin in his hand and made her look up at him.
‘I think I love you, too.’ He lowered his face to hers and kissed her, at first gently then more urgently. The words echoed round and round in Amy’s head: I love you. I love you.
16
January 1884
Jack and Susannah were sitting on the verandah with Jimmy the next afternoon, and Amy had just brought out a tray with tea, when Harry returned from a visit to Bill bursting with news. ‘Hey, guess what? There was a fight at the Masonic Hotel last night, and someone got stabbed! Bill went in to town this morning and everyone’s talking about it.’
‘That’s terrible!’ Amy said. ‘Is he all right? Who was it?’
‘Some bloke from Tauranga. He got off the boat yesterday—there were a few of them, looking for work I think. They went drinking in the Masonic, then a row started.’
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