‘You hear that, Tommy?’ Jimmy demanded. ‘You’re stopping me from giving Amy a cuddle.’
‘Cuddle Amy,’ Thomas said. He threw himself against her, demanding to be hugged. Amy put one arm around him and squeezed, while she held George with the other arm. Thomas climbed onto her lap; she managed to accommodate both children with difficulty. She kissed them both.
‘Ugh, you two give such sloppy kisses.’ She laughed as she tried to free one hand to wipe her mouth.
‘You’ve got a lot to learn, boys,’ Jimmy said. ‘Watch this.’ He edged his face in between the two children and kissed Amy carefully, putting his arms around all three of them as he did so. ‘Hmm, interesting,’ he said, disengaging his arms and sitting back to look at them. ‘You do look very sweet together. I think I prefer kissing you by yourself, though.’
‘They get in the way, don’t they? I think Georgie’s a bit damp, too,’ Amy said, feeling the patch on her dress where the baby was sitting. ‘I’ll have to change him, we’d better take them back.’
‘Maybe tomorrow we could take them down to the swamp and drop them in?’ Jimmy suggested as they started back.
‘Why would you want to do that? They’re a nuisance, but I don’t want to drown them!’
‘I don’t mean drown them, just get them really filthy. Then maybe Susannah wouldn’t let us take them out any more.’
‘Oh, yes, and I’d get in terrible trouble for not looking after them. It’s all right for you, Susannah never growls at you.’
‘Well, I was only trying. I suppose it wasn’t much of an idea. I’ll keep thinking about it.’
‘How’s the letter to your father going?’
‘It’s not very long yet. I’m a bit stuck, Amy. It’s really hard to know just what to say.’
‘You’re good with words, you shouldn’t have any trouble.’
‘I’m good at talking, but I’m not much good at writing. It’s just so hard to think of the right way to put it so Father will understand. I keep crossing things out, then it gets so messy I have to start again.’
‘Do you want me to help you?’
He smiled at her. ‘I’m sure you’d make a very pretty job of it, but Father would be able to tell I hadn’t written it myself. I don’t want him thinking some cunning girl’s got me in her clutches.’
Amy hesitated, not wanting to nag him, then went on carefully. ‘I do wish we could get things organised, Jimmy. I know you’re doing your best, but it’s taking a long time.’
‘I know, I’m being stupid about it. Amy, I’m beginning to think maybe I should talk to Father face-to-face. It’d be a lot easier, I’m sure.’
‘But then you’d have to go away!’
‘It wouldn’t be for long. Only a week or two, while I got things arranged with Father, then I’d come back and impress your father with my brilliant prospects. You’d be married and on that boat back to Auckland with me before you knew it.’
Amy chewed her lip thoughtfully. ‘Maybe that’s what you should do then. I’d miss you terribly, but it’s worth it if it means things would go faster.’
‘I’ll think about it. I’ll also try and think of some way we can get out together without these delightful little boys!’
*
‘I’ve had an idea!’ Jimmy said to Amy that Sunday morning. ‘Why don’t we go visiting this afternoon?’
‘You and me? Where do you want to go?’
‘I’ve never been to your aunt and uncle’s house, we could pop over and have afternoon tea with them.’
‘If you really want to,’ Amy said, wondering what attraction her uncle’s house suddenly held.
‘You don’t see why?’ Jimmy smiled knowingly. ‘Susannah won’t expect us to cart the children all that way.’
‘Oh! So we can be alone and talk on the way there and back. That’s a good idea. I wish we could… well, you know.’
‘Why can’t we? Who says we have to rush straight back here afterwards?’ Jimmy grinned at her, and Amy felt a thrill of excitement.
She revelled in the luxury of having Jimmy to herself and being able to talk freely with him again on the walk over the paddocks. She looped her arm through his as soon as they were out of sight of the house.
‘This is so nice,’ she said, laying her head against his chest for a moment. ‘It’s going to be wonderful when we can be together all the time.’
‘Not quite all the time, darling. I will have to go out and work sometimes, you know.’
‘We’ll still be together lots, though. I’ll love living in Auckland, too.’
‘You might get a bit tired of it after a while. I was starting to get bored there last year.’
‘How could you get bored in Auckland?’ Amy asked in disbelief.
‘Well, you seem to see the same people all the time. Things are dull there in the business, too. There’s still plenty to live on, but it could be better.’
‘Are you worried about money, Jimmy?’ Amy asked hesitantly.
‘No, not a bit! Like I said, there’s plenty to live on. But now I’m going to have this beautiful wife to show off, it’s made me think more. I want to give you lots and lots of nice things, and I mightn’t be able to do that at first. It’s going to take all I can earn just to get a little house for us to live in.’
‘Maybe I could help.’
Jimmy smiled tenderly at her. ‘Of course you’ll help, sweetheart, but I don’t expect a dowry or anything! I can see your father doesn’t have a lot of cash to throw around.’
‘No, I didn’t mean that. I thought maybe I could earn a little bit of money.’ She went on quickly before he could interrupt. ‘I’ve heard of women taking in a few pupils and teaching them things. I’m quite good at school work, I could do that.’
‘And a lovely job you’d make of it, too. But I can support you, Amy—I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t think I could earn enough to provide for you.’
‘But I want to!’ Amy protested. ‘Jimmy, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher, and if it meant I could help you it would be even better.’
‘If you want it that much then of course you can. I don’t think I could turn you down on anything you wanted, little one.’ He stopped walking, and they wasted a few moments in kissing before they set off and he spoke again.
‘What I was really talking about was an idea I had a while ago. Falling in love with you has made me remember it. Amy, have you ever thought about going to live in Australia?’
‘Australia?’ Amy repeated. It was as though he had asked her if she wanted to live on the moon. ‘That’s so far away!’
‘Not as far as all that. It only takes a few days to get there. Melbourne’s the place to go, especially in the building trade. It’s really thriving, there’s piles of money to be made. I’ve heard of lots of people going there from Auckland. It’s a much bigger place than Auckland, too—I could take you to more shows and things.’
‘I wouldn’t be able to see Pa and the boys, or Lizzie either. Still, I suppose I won’t see them much when we’re in Auckland, anyway.’ She smiled up at him. ‘I’ll go wherever you want, and I’ll be happy if you’re there.’
‘I think you’d love it in Melbourne. Don’t look so worried, Amy, we wouldn’t be going there for a while, anyway. I’d better get you used to living in Auckland before I rush you off to Australia.’
Edie made them very welcome, bustling about carrying cups of tea and cakes into the parlour with Lizzie’s help. Lizzie was rather quiet, and she stared at Jimmy in a way that Amy found disconcerting. Little Ernie helped himself liberally to the cakes, dropping crumbs which he then trod into the rug, and Amy was glad she would not have to clean it.
After the second cup of tea Arthur invited Jimmy to have a look around the farm. Ernie trotted off at his father’s heels, struggling to keep up.
‘It’s so nice of you to bring Jimmy over,’ Edie said. ‘I never thought to ask him up to the house when he was helping with the haymaking. I like having visitors—
Lizzie, why didn’t Frank come today?’
‘Because Pa didn’t ask him.’
‘Oh, he shouldn’t wait to be asked! You tell him to just come whenever he wants.’
‘Maybe you should tell him that, Ma.’
‘But he’s your young man, Lizzie.’ Edie seemed oblivious to the fact that her daughter was staring at her in open-mouthed astonishment. ‘Now, Amy, you bring Jimmy over here again soon. I like him.’
‘I’ll try, Aunt Edie, but I think he might be going back to Auckland soon.’ Amy rose from her chair. ‘We’d better be getting home, I’ll have to think about making dinner. I’ll just go and find Jimmy.’
Lizzie went out with Amy to see her off. ‘Did you hear what Ma said?’ she demanded. ‘My “young man”. I thought she hadn’t noticed, and she comes out with that!’
‘She sounded pleased about it. Aunt Edie’s not going to give you any trouble when you want to get married. All you have to do now is persuade Frank to ask you.’
‘He’ll ask me, don’t you worry.’
‘He might need a push.’
‘So I’ll give him one. What about you?’
‘I don’t want to marry you, thanks, Lizzie.’
‘Ha ha. You know what I mean—what’s this about Jimmy going back to Auckland?’
‘It’s where he lives, you know. He only came down for the summer, and it’s March now.’
‘But what about the two of you? I thought you were in love.’
‘He’ll be back,’ Amy said with a knowing smile. ‘Then I’ll tell you all about it.’ Well, not all about it. The parts you’ll understand. ‘Oh, there’s Jimmy by the horse paddock. I’ve got to go, Lizzie, I’ll see you later.’ She rushed away before Lizzie could question her further.
‘Well, I’ve done my duty,’ said Jimmy. ‘I’ve learned all about breaking in farms and keeping horses and growing maize. It’s a pity I’d already heard most of it from your father.’
‘Poor thing,’ said Amy.
‘Are you going to make it up to me?’
‘Of course.’ She smiled back at him. ‘What about a romantic walk under the trees?’
‘That sounds perfect.’
And it was perfect, Amy reflected as she lay nestled against him some minutes later. The soaring notes of a nearby tui echoed her own happiness. She knew she would cheerfully follow Jimmy to the ends of the earth.
He stirred next to her. ‘We’d better go back,’ he said. ‘I think I like visiting after all.’
‘I thought it was boring?’ Amy said with an expression of innocent surprise.
‘The one thing you are not, little one, is boring.’ Jimmy leant over to plant a gentle kiss on her mouth. ‘Let’s get going, I can’t lie here all day with you, much as I’d like to.’ He got to his feet and stretched. ‘I’m surprised they can’t see it on my face after I’ve been with you, but no one ever seems to notice.’
‘They’ll notice if you don’t do that up,’ Amy said, pointing to his gaping trouser buttons.
‘Whoops, nearly forgot. What about you, anyway, with your hair all wild?’
Amy produced a comb from her pocket with a smug smile. ‘I’m prepared this time.’
Jimmy helped comb her hair, making her squeal when he pulled at the knots, then they walked back to the farmhouse.
‘Aunt Edie likes you,’ Amy said as they went through the gate in the hedge. ‘She said she wanted me to bring you over again.’
‘She’s a nice lady. She seems fond of you, and I can’t help but like anyone who’s nice to you. That Ernie’s a handful, isn’t he? Arthur’s quite patient with him, really.’
‘He was much worse when he was younger. Now he’s old enough to hang around Uncle Arthur it’s easier on Aunt Edie—on Lizzie, too, she used to have to look after him a lot. She was worried Aunt Edie might have another one.’
‘She’s a bit old for that, isn’t she?’
‘Yes, I think she is now.’
They parted at the back door, with Jimmy going off to the cow shed while Amy went into the house to start preparing dinner. She recalled the panic-stricken look on Lizzie’s face when the two girls had overheard Edie tell Susannah and the other women that she had thought she might be having another baby. Amy frowned in concentration, trying to think of exactly what her aunt had said.
Suddenly she recalled it clearly. A shudder went through her as the words dropped into her awareness like a pronouncement of doom. Aunt Edie had thought she was having a baby because her bleeding was late. Because it was two weeks late.
It can’t be—I can’t be going to have a baby! But I’m two and a half weeks late now. She looked down at her flat abdomen, and fought a losing battle against believing what had happened to her. I must be. What are we going to do?
23
March – April 1884
Amy went through the motions of her work scarcely knowing what she did; when Susannah joined her, Amy did whatever she said without comment.
‘You’re very quiet,’ Susannah said as Amy set the table. ‘What’s wrong with you?’
‘I… I don’t feel very well,’ Amy said, in a tone she hoped would discourage further questions.
‘Oh. You look well enough, just a bit flushed.’
Dinner seemed to go on interminably. Amy caught Jimmy’s eye a few times; he looked puzzled by her stricken expression, but she avoided meeting his gaze when she found it was difficult for her to hold back tears.
An evening in the parlour would be unbearable. After she had done the dishes and set the bread dough in front of the range, she went into the other room for just long enough to make her excuses.
‘I’m going to bed now.’ She crossed the room to give her father a kiss. ‘I feel a bit tired. Good night.’ She brushed cheeks with Susannah. As she left the room she saw Jimmy looking at her in concern. She managed to reach her bedroom and close the door before she broke down.
Amy had a long, troubled night. She got up the next morning feeling more tired than when she had gone to bed. Her face in the mirror was red and puffy with crying. She splashed it with cold water till she looked more presentable, dressed, and went out to the kitchen.
Jimmy soon joined her. ‘What’s wrong, sweetheart?’ he asked, enfolding her in his arms. ‘You looked so unhappy last evening, now you look as though you hadn’t slept all night.’
Amy tried to take comfort from his touch, but when she started to speak all she could do was sob.
‘What is it, Amy? Did Susannah say something horrible to you? Come on, tell me all about it.’
‘It’s… it’s terrible,’ she choked out before her words disappeared into weeping.
‘You mustn’t let her upset you.’ Jimmy stroked her hair as he held her close. ‘What did she say?’
‘It’s nothing to do with Susannah. It’s us.’ Amy made an effort to calm herself, then looked up into Jimmy’s face. ‘I realised yesterday when we got home. Jimmy, I think—no, I’m almost sure—I’m going to have a baby.’
Jimmy’s face took on an expression of utter horror. On seeing it Amy lost all her slender self-control in a moment. Her face crumpled and tears welled in her eyes.
‘Please don’t be angry with me. Oh, what are we going to do?’ she wailed.
‘Shh,’ Jimmy said, pressing her to him. ‘I’m sorry I looked at you like that, I got a shock hearing the news so suddenly. Let’s sit down.’ He helped her to a chair and sat next to her, holding her hand between both of his.
They sat in silence for a while, then Jimmy gave his head a small shake. ‘Well, I didn’t expect that. That was stupid of me, I know, but I just didn’t.’
‘What are we going to do?’ Amy pleaded. She felt a little calmer now that Jimmy no longer looked terrified.
‘We’re going to do the decent thing and get married, of course! Don’t you see, Amy, it’s wonderful news, really.’
‘Is it? Why?’
‘Because we’ll be able to get married. My father won’t try and stop us n
ow. Oh, he’ll lecture me about being stupid and irresponsible, but he’ll want to see us tidily married as soon as possible. He’ll soon forgive me when he meets you, anyway. It’s a good thing he’s going to like you—we’ll have to live with them for a little while.’
‘Will we?’ Amy asked fearfully. ‘Why?’
‘Because I’m not going to have enough money to get us anywhere to live at first. It won’t be for long, darling—I certainly don’t want to see us still living in my bedroom when the baby arrives.’ He shuddered at the thought.
‘As long as you think they’ll accept me. What do you think Pa will say?’
Jimmy smiled ruefully. ‘Your father will want to have my hide, and who could blame him? As long as I can persuade him not to tell your brothers what I’ve done, I’ll get through it in one piece. But after he’s got that over and done with he’ll march us down to the church, maybe with a shotgun to hurry me along. You, my darling, are going to be Mrs Taylor before you know it. There, that’s better,’ he said, seeing her smile.
‘I feel much better now I’ve told you. What shall we do, then? Will you tell Pa today?’
‘No, I still think it’s a better idea to tell my father first. I want to get you away as soon as possible after we’re married, and if I’ve got things sorted out with Father that’ll be much simpler. I’d better go up to Auckland straight away—this week if I can get a passage.’
‘I’ll miss you.’
‘I’ll miss you too. It won’t be for long, though.’
*
Amy saw Jimmy riding off down the road as she was hanging out a load of washing later that morning. She smiled; everything would soon be all right.
That evening she felt brave enough to sit in the parlour with the others, hemming a gown for George. It was almost time for the family to retire when Jimmy spoke.
‘I went into town today. The Staffa’s sailing on Thursday, I booked myself on it.’
‘Oh, no, James,’ Susannah said. ‘You’re not going already, are you?’
‘Well, March is more than half over now, Susannah, I’ve been here three and a half months. I’ve already stayed longer than I meant to because I’ve been enjoying myself so much. It’s time I went home and did some work again.’
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