When they walked around the flax and started up the long wharf, Amy saw the city spread out before her. She stopped in her tracks and stared open-mouthed at the sight. There were huge buildings in either direction; some of them were three storeys high, and many of them were made of bricks, not wood. There were more buggies, carts, and carriages of various types than Amy had ever imagined the world could hold, and most of them seemed to be going at a breakneck pace. And people. Everywhere there were people. From the men unloading the cargo, to smartly-dressed men and women strolling along the broad pavements, to small boys rushing about on mysterious errands.
‘So many people,’ she breathed.
‘Twenty-five thousand,’ Susannah said proudly. ‘So Father said before I left—it might even be more now. You’re not in the country now, girl. Hurry up, I want to get a cab. There’re always plenty in Customs Street. Leave that,’ she said when she saw Amy reaching for her bag. ‘Hi, you,’ she hailed an eager-looking boy of about ten. ‘Carry my luggage for me and I’ll give you threepence.’ The boy did not need to be asked twice, and Amy soon found herself standing on the edge of a busy road. Suddenly she felt nauseated all over again.
‘Pooh!’ she exclaimed. ‘It smells terrible!’
‘What are you talking about? Nothing smells worse than farms.’ Susannah sniffed the air. ‘Actually it does smell a bit. I suppose it must be all the horses.’ Piles of horse dung littered the street, and as each vehicle rattled along its wheels went through the noisome heaps, disturbing colonies of flies. ‘There’s the Ligar Canal as well, it empties into the harbour, and it can be quite strong in the warm weather. I’d forgotten the smell,’ Susannah said in surprise. ‘Maybe it’s got worse the last three years. Never mind, we’ll soon be out of it. Cabby!’ she called, waving her arm vigorously when she spotted a black hansom cab coming in their direction.
The cabby stowed their luggage and held the door open until they were safely inside. ‘Grafton Road first,’ Susannah instructed. ‘Then Parnell.’ The cab started up a broad avenue, and they were soon going past a building site. ‘That’s where they’re going to build the new railway station,’ Susannah said, as proudly as though she were erecting it herself. ‘It’s going to be a huge place. It’s all reclaimed land, you know. When I was a girl Customs Street wasn’t here, it was sea up to Fort Street.’
Amy looked out the window, but there was nothing more interesting than piles of dirt and rocks on the left of the cab, with what seemed to be hundreds of workmen moving the dirt around in wheelbarrows and carts.
‘Is it always like this?’ she asked. ‘All these people building things, and nothing properly finished?’
‘Well, there’re always new buildings going up—that’s how Father makes his money. But I must say it doesn’t usually look quite as… well, confused as this. Except for around Point Britomart, of course, they’d already been slicing that away for two years before I got married. That’s where they got the rocks from to make this new land. It’ll be wonderful when the new station’s ready, trains right to the bottom of Queen Street.’
Amy looked at the buildings on the other side of the road, trying to make out the signs in their windows as the cab rattled past. The buildings petered out into ordinary-looking houses, and she glanced back to the left hand side. She gave a shriek as she saw a black monster hurtling towards them, belching a cloud of dark smoke.
‘What’s wrong with you? Haven’t you ever seen a train before?’
‘No, only pictures of them. It just gave me a fright.’ Amy looked with interest at the monster as it disappeared past the cab. It seemed an unbelievably rapid way to travel.
The little boys were restless after having been confined for so long. ‘Do stop squirming, Thomas,’ Susannah said. ‘Sit up properly.’
‘Want to sit on Amy,’ Thomas said. He wriggled out of Susannah’s grasp and clambered onto the seat beside Amy. ‘Cuddle me.’
‘There’s not much room on me, Tommy. How about you just snuggle up?’ Amy put her arm around the toddler and held him close.
‘Want a lap!’ Thomas insisted. ‘Make a lap.’
‘I can’t make a lap. Sit on Mama’s lap.’
‘No, he’ll crease my dress,’ Susannah said automatically, then she gave a snort. ‘What am I talking about? This dress couldn’t possibly get more creased than it already is. Come and sit on me then, Thomas, if you’re so desperate for a lap.’
‘No! Want Amy!’
‘All right, Tommy, I think I can fit you. Come on.’ Amy managed to perch Thomas on what was left of her lap.
George apparently felt left out, and he, too, slithered over to Amy. ‘You want a cuddle as well?’ she said. ‘Make room for your brother, Tommy. Oh, you want a kiss, Georgie?’ The little boy thrust his face at her.
‘Kiss, Amy,’ Thomas demanded.
‘I’ll kiss you both. There. Oh, you two give such sloppy kisses, you really have got a lot to learn.’ Amy fell silent, recalling those same words from Jimmy. She turned her face away from Susannah and surreptitiously wiped her tears on her sleeve.
‘You’ve stopped those two grizzling, anyway. Now,’ Susannah said briskly, ‘I’ll get you sorted out first. You understand what’s happening? I’m taking you to the boarding house, and I’ll see you settled in there. Oh, by the way, the landlady thinks your name’s Elizabeth.’
‘Why does she think that?’ Amy asked, confused.
‘Because she thinks you’re my niece, not my stepdaughter. After I’ve done that—’
‘You shouldn’t have used Lizzie’s name like that,’ Amy said in distress. ‘It’s like saying she’s been bad.’
‘Don’t talk nonsense. No one in Auckland has even heard of your precious Lizzie. Don’t interrupt, we haven’t much time. After that I’ll go to the nursing home and see everything’s all right. Your father wants me to inspect it, though I hardly think that’s necessary. I’ll tell them your real name there, it’s probably for the best, just in case anything… well, just in case. Then I’m going home to Parnell.’ Her face lit up at the words. ‘Now, I’ll leave my address with the landlady, so if you need me you just ask her to get in touch with me. I’ll be staying there for two weeks, then I have to go back to the farm.’ Susannah grimaced. ‘When your time comes the landlady will take you to the nursing home, and when you’re well again you’ll come home. Do you understand all that?’
‘Yes.’ In this strange place, all the talk of nursing homes suddenly took on an unpleasant reality. ‘Susannah,’ Amy asked, ‘what… what’s going to happen when… when the time comes?’
‘Didn’t I just tell you that?’ Susannah said impatiently. ‘The landlady will take you to the nursing home. Weren’t you listening?’
‘Yes. I meant… I don’t know what it will be like. When the baby starts coming.’
‘Baby coming?’ Thomas looked around the cab, obviously searching for the baby someone had hidden there. He wriggled on Amy’s lap and tried to look behind the seat back.
‘Stop that, Thomas—here, look out the window at the horses,’ Susannah said. Thomas obediently looked for a few seconds, but horses held no novelty for him. ‘I can’t discuss that sort of thing on the street,’ Susannah said, her lips pursed. ‘Not in front of him, anyway. He picks up everything you say and parrots it. He’ll be repeating things to Mother if I’m not careful. Don’t talk about it.’
‘No, I see. I’m sorry.’ Amy shrank against the seat and tried to take an interest in the scene outside the cab window. A large tear rolled down one cheek.
‘Don’t go getting in a state,’ Susannah said. ‘There’s nothing to be upset about. They’ll give you something to put you out, and you won’t know anything about it. You’ve no need to be frightened.’
‘Oh. Thank you.’ Amy tried to take some comfort from Susannah’s words.
The cabby pulled up before a two-storied wooden building, and waited while Susannah led the way up the path. They were greeted at the door by the landlady, a
grey-haired woman in her fifties who announced herself as Mrs Kirkham. She nodded to Susannah and looked rather disapprovingly at Amy. Amy wrapped herself more tightly in her cloak and tried to look inconspicuous.
Susannah opened her purse and counted off a wad of notes. ‘That should be the correct amount, I believe,’ she said. ‘There’s extra for your trouble in taking the girl to the nursing home, and I’ve put in enough for any cables you might have to send me.’
Mrs Kirkham counted the money quickly and nodded. She gave Susannah a frosty smile. ‘I’ll show Miss Leith to her room,’ she said. ‘Do you want to settle her in, Mrs Leith?’
‘No, I don’t think that’s necessary. This is my address for the next two weeks if there’s anything serious.’ She handed a sheet of notepaper to Mrs Kirkham. ‘And my husband’s name, in case you have any call to cable us in Ruatane after I’ve left Auckland. I must be on my way now.’
‘As you wish. I’ll be in the hall.’ Mrs Kirkham went inside, leaving Amy alone with Susannah and the little boys.
‘You’re costing your father a lot of money, I hope you realise that,’ Susannah said.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Ten pounds for you to stay here! And we have to give pounds and pounds to the woman who’ll sort out the adoption. Then there’s the nursing home, not to mention the boat. I hope you’re grateful.’ Amy said nothing.
‘Well, you’re all organised. I’ll be off, then. Come along, boys.’ Susannah tried to take hold of her sons’ hands, but they clung to Amy’s cloak.
‘Amy come too,’ Thomas protested.
‘No, I have to stay here, Tommy. You go with Mama now.’
‘No! Want Amy!’
‘Amy!’ George echoed.
‘Stop being so naughty, you two,’ Susannah scolded. ‘I’ll tell Papa you were bad, and he’ll smack you.’
‘Papa! Want Papa!’ Thomas cried.
‘Papa!’ George chimed in.
‘Papa’s not here,’ Susannah said. ‘Just do as you’re told.’
‘Amy! Come on, Amy.’ Thomas tugged at her.
‘No, Tommy, I can’t.’ Amy carefully lowered herself to the little boys’ level and put an arm around each of them. ‘Listen, Tommy, and you too, Georgie. You’re going to go and see your granny. You’ll like that. Granny will be kind to you. She’s probably got some nice cakes for you to eat.’
‘Cakes?’ Thomas looked more hopeful.
‘You’ll stay with your granny for a little while, and I’ll stay here, then we’ll all go home and see Papa. Now, off you go with Mama. Mama’s waiting for you.’
‘Amy come and have cakes too,’ Thomas insisted.
‘Oh, for goodness sake,’ Susannah said irritably. ‘Come on.’ She snatched the fabric of Amy’s cloak out of George’s little fist and scooped him up onto one of her hips, then took hold of Thomas’ wrist and yanked.
‘Amy!’ Thomas wailed as his mother half-dragged him down the path. He squealed when Susannah gave him a hard slap on the buttocks, and he was still yelling loudly when the cab pulled away. Amy stood and watched till the cab had disappeared around a corner, carrying with it the last of the people she knew. Now, for the first time in her life, she was among strangers.
She turned and went into the passage, where Mrs Kirkham was waiting with Amy’s bag at her feet. ‘I’ve given you a room on the ground floor, you don’t look as though you’re too good at stairs at the moment,’ she said. ‘Early November, isn’t it?’
‘What? Oh, yes, I think so.’
‘Hmm. Two months. Come through here.’ She led Amy down the passage and into a small room on the side of the house. There was a bed with a green coverlet, a small wardrobe with two drawers, a chair against one wall, and a washstand with jug and basin. Dark green drapes and a faded rug on the varnished wood of the floor completed the furnishings. The room smelt faintly of polish.
‘You should have everything you need in here,’ Mrs Kirkham said, putting Amy’s bag down on the bed. ‘You’ll be hungry, I expect?’
‘A little bit,’ Amy admitted. Her stomach grumbled loudly at the suggestion of food after having been empty so long.
‘Lunch will be in half an hour. I’ll bring it in to you.’
‘Oh, don’t go to any trouble—I can come out for it.’
‘I’d rather you didn’t,’ Mrs Kirkham said. ‘I’d prefer to bring your meals to you. In fact, I’d be grateful if you didn’t show yourself any more than you have to. The other guests, you understand. This is a decent house.’ She looked meaningfully down at Amy’s belly then went out, closing the door behind her.
Amy sank onto the bed and looked around at the four walls. Do I have to stay in this room for the next two months?
31
September – November 1884
Jack stood on the wharf and watched the Staffa come in. As soon as the boat was close enough for him to make out individual figures, he saw Susannah standing beside Thomas on the deck, holding George and pointing towards the shore. When she saw Jack she smiled broadly, waved, and encouraged the little boys to wave too.
So she was pleased to see him. That surprised Jack; he could not remember Susannah’s having shown any pleasure in his company for a long time. He looked at the three of them on the deck and thought of the one who was missing: Amy. It was unpleasant to think of the girl’s being left among strangers, and even worse to think about the reason she had to be.
Still, it would all be put right soon. Amy would be a respectable married woman, and before too long she’d have another baby to take her mind off this one. A pity he couldn’t have got a better man for her, but Susannah was right: not many men would take a girl who’d been shamed. And Amy seemed happy enough about it all, now she’d got used to the idea.
Thomas made a rush at Jack when he went onto the boat, winding his arms around his father’s legs. ‘Papa!’ he cried in delight. Jack hoisted him in the air and sat the little boy on his shoulders before giving Susannah a chaste peck on the cheek and gathering up her luggage.
‘Oh, Jack, I’ve had such a lovely time,’ Susannah said animatedly, looking around to see that Jack had not missed anything before she followed him down the gangplank. She balanced George on one hip while she juggled two packages on her other arm. ‘Everyone’s been so nice.’
‘I been sick,’ Thomas announced.
‘Yes, we’ve all been sick, Thomas—well, except George, he’s quite a good sailor for some reason—that’s nothing to boast about. That’s the only trouble with going to Auckland.’
‘So everything went all right?’ Jack asked when he had settled them in the buggy.
‘Just perfect. It was lovely to see Mother and Father again, and all my old friends. Every day I seemed to be going to someone’s house for afternoon tea or they came to ours. We went to the theatre twice, too. And the shops—oh, it was wonderful to see real shops again.’
‘You’ve bought plenty, I see,’ Jack said, grimacing at the weight of one of Susannah’s cases as he hefted it into the back of the buggy. He climbed in himself and flicked the reins.
‘Well, a few things. I don’t know how long it’ll be before I get the chance to go back.’
‘You must have made the money go a long way. I didn’t give you all that much.’
Susannah’s face took on a defensive look. ‘Father gave me a little to spend. Oh, I knew you’d be awkward about that,’ she said, seeing Jack’s expression.
‘Have you been telling your pa I don’t keep you properly?’
‘No, of course I haven’t. I didn’t ask him, it was Mother’s idea, and I couldn’t turn him down, could I? He hasn’t had the chance to give me anything since I got married. Mother thought I was looking a little dowdy, and I had to humour her. Oh, don’t be bad-tempered with me, Jack, I’ve been so looking forward to seeing you and telling you all about my holiday.’
Jack grunted. ‘All right, don’t get upset. I suppose there’s no real harm in it, as long as you didn’t go complainin
g about me.’
‘Why would I do that? Oh, everyone was asking after you, they all sent their regards. They were all so impressed with my boys, too. Just think of it—Constance’s son is nearly a year older than Thomas—well, eight months, anyway—and Thomas is a good inch taller than him! And Mother says George looks closer to eighteen months than thirteen. They all said it must be the healthy life in the country, all the clean air and good food.’ She looked about her. ‘The air certainly is fresh here, isn’t it?’
‘They’re fine boys, all right,’ Jack said, smiling fondly at his little sons.
‘And Constance has another one coming!’ Susannah said on a note of triumph. ‘She’s nearly three months gone. That’ll be her fourth. She’s got terribly matronly-looking—no wonder. Really, no one would think she’s two years younger than me now.’
‘Perhaps she’s fond of children. Perhaps she’s fond of her husband, come to that.’
‘Jack, there’s no need to talk like that, especially in front of the children. Actually, I thought Henry seemed rather irritable—I expect he gets tired of broken nights all the time. It’s different for Constance, anyway—she has a nursemaid in the daytime, and a general servant to do the rough work.’
‘I know. You’ve told me that before. How’s my girl?’
‘What?’ Susannah seemed taken aback for a moment. ‘Oh, she’s all right.’
‘Did you see her yesterday?’
‘No, I was busy packing and saying goodbye to everyone.’
‘Well, when did you last see her, then?’
‘It’s a very nice place where she’s staying, I’m sure she’s fine, she’s a healthy girl.’
‘When did you last see her, Susannah?’
Susannah seemed reluctant to meet his eyes. ‘I saw her settled in all right the day we arrived. I’ve been busy ever since.’
‘You mean you haven’t been back to see her since the first day?’ Jack demanded.
‘How could I? Constance thought it was only your niece, and Mother and Father don’t know anything about it—they thought I’d just come to see them and show them the children. I couldn’t go wandering off by myself all the time, could I? It’s quite a long way from Parnell, too, I would’ve had to take the phaeton, and Mother would’ve wanted to come too.’
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