by Sarah Ahiers
But it wasn’t a stick. Hadn’t ever been a stick.
It was a snake. Small, white, with pearlescent scales. I’d last seen it twisting around the fingers of a traveler boy who’d had callused hands and tasted like oranges and who I missed more than I wanted to admit.
Les yanked it from his arm.
She’s venomous, Nev had told me.
Les threw Kuch into the fire.
She bites anyone who doesn’t smell like me.
nineteen
SILENCE BETWEEN US. WE STARED AT EACH OTHER, IN shock.
“What?” I finally managed to utter.
Les clutched his arm, using his right hand to tightly squeeze his left wrist. He closed his eyes for a moment and seemed to slump. Then he stood, kicking his chair away from him. It screeched loudly and a moment later Lea appeared at the top of the stairs.
“What’s going on?” she asked as she came down.
Les grabbed his cutter from its sheath, still keeping pressure on his wrist. He set his cutter on the table before me.
I blinked rapidly, staring at the weapon. He kept it well honed, and it was heavy. Heavy and sharp. It was made for doing violent damage.
A weapon strong enough to cut through bone.
“What is going on?” Lea repeated, her voice firm and sharp. It was a tone of voice she used when she wanted answers. She hadn’t seen what had happened but she could sense the tension in the air.
Les looked at me and nodded to the cutter that still sat before me on the table.
I picked it up. The handle felt smooth and worn after years of Les gripping it.
“I asked a question!” Lea shouted behind us. She sounded almost panicked. But Lea never panicked. Panic was for amateurs. Lea had been the one to teach me this.
“It was a snake in the box,” Les answered. “It bit me. It’s venomous.”
Les put his arm on the table, right hand still squeezing his left wrist. Two tiny puncture marks, no bigger than a pin, leaked blood. But we lived with Lea. We knew our poisons, our venoms. Sometimes it didn’t matter how big the needle was.
“No.” Lea shook her head. “We are not doing what I think you’re doing.”
“No choice,” he said.
“No!” Her arm sliced the air before her. “There’s an antivenin. I can find an antivenin! Where’s Emile? He can help!”
Les shook his head. “No time.”
“We’re not just going to hack you apart!”
“No time,” he repeated. Then he closed his eyes and exhaled. He looked over his shoulder at her.
I’d never seen Lea scared before. But she was frightened now, my aunt. She, who could make the common flee with just a glimpse of her mask, who had destroyed the entire force of the Da Via Family.
Who had died and faced a god once, and returned.
So much fear poured from her, I could practically taste it.
“There’s no time, kalla Lea,” he said. Then he leaned over and kissed her and she pressed her hands to either side of his face. And my chest burned and ached until I had to look away from them, look away from their love and tears and everything because it was too much. Everything was too much.
Lea grabbed on to Les’s shoulders, holding him in place.
“Kuch nov,” Les said to me.
I rubbed my eyes, nodding.
Then I chopped Les’s arm off.
Blood.
So much blood.
And I was used to blood. I’d seen blood since I was a child. My life was practically a ballad of blood.
But this was different. This was Les.
And I was the one who had made him bleed.
There was movement, shouting, orders, and Les’s pale, pale face before he passed out. But I couldn’t focus on any of this because all I could see was the blood coating the table, and his left arm, no longer a part of him. He’d brushed my hair when I was a child with that arm. He’d taught me how to throw a knife with that arm. Les was left-handed. He’d probably never use his cutter again.
I looked at the weapon, still in my hand. I dropped it on the table. I couldn’t stand the feel of it anymore. It had been his favorite weapon and I’d used it to destroy a piece of him.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And then the sounds surrounding me clarified into words.
Lea had wrapped Les’s arms tightly. The white bandage was already soaked through with blood.
“I need to find an antivenin in case any venom got through.” Lea was back in charge once more, though her cheeks were bright pink, the only sign of her emotions. “I need to know what kind of snake it was.” She tied off the bandage with a grunt.
“He’s bleeding too much.” My voice was quiet and empty. It sounded like a different person’s. Les was so pale. He could die from the blood loss. He could die from infection. He could die if we hadn’t been quick enough to stop the venom. “We need a doctor.”
“Allegra,” Lea said. “What kind of snake was it?”
I shook my head. “It’s too much blood.”
I took a step away, toward the front door. A doctor would stop the bleeding. A doctor would save his life.
“Allegra!” Lea shouted, and I looked up at her and took a deep breath.
“I’m going to get help,” I said. “To get a doctor.”
And then I turned and fled out the front door.
I stumbled in the courtyard, trying to get my feet to work right. My body seemed so far away. I reached the gate. The wrought iron slammed into my palms. Everything snapped into focus.
Les could die.
No. I wouldn’t allow it. I took a deep breath, clearing my head even more. I ran down the street. Looking for a sign that would signal a doctor, or someone who could point me in the right direction.
I turned the corner, my boots slapping the street. A trickle of water in front of a fountain reflected white, pearlescent from the morning sun. Like the snake that had bitten Les.
Like Kuch.
My chest constricted, as if Kuch was wrapping her scales around my heart. It didn’t make sense. Where had the box come from? And why was Kuch inside?
It was an attack. It had to be. An attack from our enemies. The Addamos. The Da Vias.
No. That made no sense.
Nev had told me Kuch was a rare snake, and only found in a certain part of the world. The Addamos and Da Vias wouldn’t know anything about that. And they didn’t even know how to find us.
I clasped my necklace. The necklace Les had given to me. My throat tightened and I gasped for air.
There was something going on here. Some mystery I couldn’t solve right now, not while I was running, looking for help. Where was a doctor?! But that snake had to have been Kuch. That was the only logical conclusion. Which meant Nev had to be involved.
My stomach churned and I barely managed to stumble to an alley before I vomited.
I spat and wiped my mouth, loosening my scarf, trying to breathe. But I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t do anything but lean against the wall, head bowed, and gasp for air while tears poured down my cheeks.
I was going to leave him. Les. And now I might not even get the choice anymore, not if he left us first.
A sob escaped me but I straightened and took a deep breath. The mystery, the why and how of it all could be solved later. Right now his life was the priority.
A scraping sound reached me from the alley entrance. I turned.
A whisper in the morning air. A pinch on my neck.
I touched the skin beneath my ear and my fingers came back with a small dart between them, a tiny, white down feather attached at the end.
A blow dart.
Clippers used blow darts.
I spun, searching the alley behind me but it was dark. Too dark. I raised my hand but I couldn’t see it. I was blind.
Fatigue swept over me. The ground heaved beneath my feet. I stumbled
Shuffling before me. Hands on my arms. Callused fingers.
A man’s vo
ice. Words I couldn’t understand.
Then nothing.
twenty
CREAKS AND GROANS FLOWED OVER ME. MY BODY bumped and moved outside of my control. Blackness.
My stomach churned. I rolled and vomited.
A voice. Male. I couldn’t understand his words.
Another voice. Another man. This one familiar. Their words tangled in my head.
I forced my eyes open. A shadow hovered over me. Something pricked my neck.
Blackness.
The creaks and groans returned.
I woke slowly, regaining my wits. Memories came back to me. Of what had happened the last time I tried to wake. I kept my eyes clenched shut. I would not give myself away again.
My stomach fought me once more, but this time I seized control of it, willing it to calm, to ease its nausea.
I’d been attacked. Pricked by a blow dart. Someone had taken me.
I breathed shallowly and sank into my senses.
Wooden planks beneath me. And movement. A canal boat.
Something snorted. No, not a boat. A cart or a wagon being pulled by horses.
No sounds of people. The rolling wheels below me were muffled. No streets. No city. The dead plains. Which meant it was day and not night.
I’d been out for at least a few hours, then. Long enough for them to get me on a cart and out of the city.
No heat on my skin. Stale air. A covered wagon, blocking the sun.
I shifted my wrists, slowly moving them apart. Then did the same with my ankles. No bindings. I was free to move.
A mistake on their part.
The cart stopped.
Muffled voices outside as people conversed. At least three, maybe more.
A noise beside me. Someone was in the cart with me.
They shifted and stepped over my prone body.
I chanced a quick look.
Shadows covered everything, leaving any clues hidden from sight. Then a beam of light burst into the cart. The person inside with me had pushed aside a curtain. They stepped outside and the curtain flopped closed, sending me into darkness once more.
I held my breath and listened. Nothing. I was alone.
I opened my eyes fully and tried to sit up.
My body was sluggish. It felt heavy, like it weighed more than a horse, or a house. I groaned and bit my lip, but finally managed to pull myself to a seated position.
My head spun from the movement. I paused, reorienting myself.
The cart had two long benches on either side of where I sat on the floor. There were some supplies at the front, behind my head, but nothing else.
My fingers twitched against my pockets. All my weapons had been removed, including the needle I kept sewed into the hem of my dress. They’d searched me thoroughly.
Voices outside again, still too muffled to make out what they were saying. They drifted closer, then farther away.
The curtain on the back of the wagon snapped open. I covered my eyes from the flash of light.
“You are awake.”
I lowered my arm, blinking until my eyes adjusted, until I could better see the figure silhouetted at the end of the wagon. A traveler boy with a round hat on his head.
Nev.
“What’s going on?” My words slurred. I pressed my hands together, trying to regain control of my body. Something was wrong with me. I wasn’t working.
Nev climbed into the wagon and the curtain closed again, slipping us into darkness.
Nev dug through a bag behind me, then pulled out a bottle. He popped off the cork. “Here.” He handed it to me, but even with both hands I didn’t have the strength to hold it.
“Something’s wrong,” I said, then Nev helped me tip the bottle to my lips.
Cool, refreshing fruit juice poured into my mouth, sweet, but with a hint of heat that tasted unfamiliar to me.
I drank as much as I could, letting the fruit juice ease the ache in my mouth and throat. Finally, Nev lowered the bottle and I took a deep breath.
I stared at him, trying to remember how I had gotten here with Nev, where we were, what was going on.
Nev wouldn’t look at me. He kept his eyes on his hands as he replaced the cork in the bottle and then the bottle back in the bag.
Something wasn’t right. I wasn’t seeing things clearly. Seeing things.
I looked at Nev again. “You said you saw me. Really saw me . . .” The memories of what had happened were coming back to me. How Nev had kicked me out of his tent. How I had wandered to Ravenna, only to witness Claudia and Lea fight. How we’d gone home and argued and then Les—
Blood. Les’s blood. Les’s arm.
My stomach heaved and I barely managed to crawl to the end of the wagon, shoving the curtain aside, before I vomited up all the juice I had just drunk.
Nev sat beside me, rubbing my back as I emptied my stomach.
I wiped my mouth and sat up, looking at the landscape before me.
Late afternoon sun seemed to set the world on fire. Everything looked . . . wrong. Different. Not the dead plains I knew. There were no green, rolling hills. Instead the grass was gold, and everything looked flatter.
A man appeared to the far right. He was tall, with a shaved head. I’d seen him before, at the entrance to the menagerie. He’d glared at me the night Nev had sent me away.
The travelers had taken me. They’d tried to kill me, and when that hadn’t worked, they’d taken me from the streets of Lovero, secreted me away in this cart, and fled.
I closed the curtain and leaned back against the bench in the cart. Nev sat across from me, glancing at me from time to time, his neck flushed with some sort of emotion.
“You took me,” I said, my voice a hoarse croak. I rubbed my mouth again.
“I am sorry,” he whispered, looking anywhere but at me. And when he did lift his eyes to meet mine he looked genuinely confused and sad and I was so, so angry when my chest constricted, when a part of me wanted to press my lips to his, to kiss away his sadness.
But Nev was not the person I’d thought he was. If he’d ever been. All I had to do was think of Les, of the blood on the table, the sound of his cutter in my hands, slamming through his bone and flesh. To remember that.
Rage flowed over me.
I lunged at Nev. I didn’t have a weapon, but I didn’t care. I would make him bleed, would make him hurt the way he’d hurt me.
I hit him in the face.
Pain bloomed across my fingers, but Nev’s grunt was like music.
I punched him in the stomach.
He gasped and bent over.
I rained punches and slaps and scratches and anything I could think of on him, until he covered his head with his arms, until he finally managed to shuffle away to the other end of the wagon.
“Stop!” he shouted. Blood dripped from his nose. His left eye was already bruising and his lip was split and oozing blood.
My chest heaved and my body trembled like I was recovering from a long illness. But none of that mattered. I smiled at the damage I’d done.
“What are you doing?” Nev raised his fingers to his lips and then scowled when he pulled them away and saw the blood.
“You took me!” I said, the anger gripping me again. “You kidnapped me.”
Any anger he felt at my attack seemed to fall away from him.
“You can’t deny it,” I said.
He shook his head and turned to face me. “Of course I cannot. You are here.”
“You sent Kuch,” I said, “to try to kill me.”
And though my voice rang strong and accusatory, I couldn’t help the pain that lanced through me at this.
“What?” he asked. “No.”
“I saw her, Nev! I opened the box!”
He took his hat off and crushed it in his hands, before he rubbed the top of his head. “I thought . . . I hoped maybe . . . maybe you would still smell like me. That she would not bite you.”
I stared at him. Ridiculous. Everything about him was
ridiculous. “I slept with you hours ago, Nev! You think I didn’t bathe? After you kicked me out of your tent, it was the first thing I did!”
Lies. I was a liar. But I didn’t care about the truth. I cared about causing pain.
His face flushed red at my words.
“She would have killed me!”
Nev closed his eyes and shook his head. “You do not understand.”
“Nev!” Someone shouted from outside the wagon.
Nev groaned and got to his feet, hunched over. “Stay here.” He slipped out the back of the wagon.
Stay here. If he thought I was going to stay here, he really didn’t know me at all.
I slid out of the wagon, greeting the warm afternoon sun.
My legs collapsed beneath me.
I crumpled, grabbing on to the wagon at the last second to prevent a complete fall to the ground.
Sweat coated my forehead and my whole body shook. Weakness spread through my limbs and I was reminded of a time when I was a child and fell ill. When the illness had finally passed, it was still days before I regained my strength.
Someone shouted and a moment later Nev was at my side, trying to help me back into the wagon. I slapped his hands away.
“I told you to stay here,” he said as I climbed back into the warm darkness of the wagon.
“What did you do to me?” I gulped air, trying to catch my breath and ease my trembling.
“It will wear off,” Nev said as an explanation. “Another day. Maybe two. You will be back to normal.”
“What did you do to me?” I hissed at him.
He swallowed but before he could respond, the curtain at the end of the wagon was yanked open. A woman with brown skin, wide shoulders, and short hair glared at us. Perrin, the woman from the menagerie who had teased the tiger. She snapped at Nev, speaking Mornian so quickly I couldn’t pick out a single word.
“No,” Nev replied, shaking his head. She repeated her question and Nev continued to shake his head.
Perrin slapped him in the face with the back of her hand.
Nev’s head rocked back, and he stumbled before regaining his balance. He took a deep breath before calmly looking at Perrin again. She had reopened the split lip I had given him, and blood trickled down his chin. He wiped it away without a thought.