by Jessa Eden
I pressed her again and this time she got mad, accusing me of not wanting her to be there. I tried to play it off, but I really didn’t like how every guy there was staring at how hot her ass looked in her skirt.
That’s when stupid Ashley found me again, latching onto my side. I wasn’t even thinking about her as I stared at Marla. So I didn’t see Ashley coming as she gripped my face, her mouth on mine before I even knew what was happening.
“What the hell?” I asked as I pulled my lips from hers. “Get your nasty lips off me,” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
Shit. Marla.
I saw her streak upstairs as I cursed.
“Oh, Beau,” Ashley said a wicked gleam in her eye as she took in the drama. “So sorry to disturb your little domestic scene there. You’re too good for her, anyway. When you’re ready for a good time, call me.” She winked and walked away.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Marla:
I lay in bed as I always did, wistful of past decisions, disappointed my practical nature had caused my heart such sorrow. I quietly shut the lid on my dream world, accustomed to living with the ache that sleep always brought.
That ache —it had become a friend to me— refused to go away, even when I’d begged. Last night had been wonderful and exciting, but also sad and heartbreaking. Beau and I appeared to be on different planes, destined to run parallel lives which never intersected.
It was hard to believe we could ever find common ground again.
I could only hope.
I gazed through the window, reminding myself to be thankful for the little things, like sunshine and M&M’s. I yawned, stretched long and hard, and snuggled into the covers a little deeper.
I loved a quiet start to my day, staying in bed until the real world beckoned me to come play. Eventually, my feet hit the hardwood floor of my cozy bedroom and I ambled into the bathroom. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I wandered back into my bedroom and threw open the closet door.
Searching through all of my photo albums, I grabbed the one that was special to me. I had kept a record of all of Beau’s newspaper clippings from the time he was drafted to his rise as a real estate mogul. It was a ritual of sorts to look through it. One I did every once in a while when I was in the mood to reminisce.
I flipped open the black-colored album, my eyes landing on a newspaper article. It showed a picture of a sports car, crushed and split open with the title Hockey Player Spared splashed across the top.
I ran my hand over it, remembering how stricken I had been when I found out Beau had been in an accident that almost claimed his life.
For weeks, I grieved silently, wishing I could be there for him.
But I had responsibilities I couldn’t just up and leave. Charlie was only seven and Emma was getting ready to graduate from high school.
So I fervently prayed and hoped he made a full recovery. I was so relieved when I found a couple of articles about his rehabilitation and his desire to make a comeback.
But my heart broke again when he was released from his team in Toronto. I knew what hockey meant to him and what it cost him to have his career taken from him in the prime of his life.
I prayed again that he would find a new direction in his life which would be fulfilling. It wasn’t long after this when I started seeing articles about his rise in real estate.
My heart was warmed by his success, but he seemed to adopt a playboy lifestyle, appearing in gossip columns regularly for attending parties and dating Hollywood starlets and debutantes.
When I read stuff like that, it made me think about what it would have been like if my mom had lived and I hadn’t been forced to break up with Beau. We would have gone to Toronto together and probably had a family of our own. He would still be playing hockey and we would be living a great life together.
But I couldn’t dwell on the what-ifs.
Besides, I wouldn’t have had my special relationship with Emma.
Affectionate, kind, and levelheaded. Even at ten, she knew we had to stick together to make it work.
It was another beautiful Saturday afternoon in May as Emma stood by our shabby front door, with a loaded pink backpack strapped to her shoulders.
“You got everything you need, kiddo?” I asked.
“Yep, I’m ready,” she said, rocking back and forth on her heels.
She was so cute with her blond ponytails. She was getting ready to spend the night at her friend, Katy’s house. They were supposed to have a big adventure and camp out in Katy’s backyard.
It was the first time Emma would be sleeping outside in a tent.
I wanted her to have a good time, but I also wanted her to be safe. “Just have fun. But if something doesn’t feel right or you have a funny feeling in your tummy, go tell Katy’s parents or you call me. Okay?”
“Yes, I know,” she said matter-of-factly. “The Matthews always listen to their instinct.“ She sighed in exasperation after citing the family motto.
“That’s right. Now, go have some fun, Sugarpop. Mwah!” I kissed her on the cheek and neck as she squealed delightfully.
“Stop! Stop!” she giggled. “Okay, okay, I’ll go have fun.”
“Good.”
She bounded out the door to Katy’s family car and I waved from the railing as Emma got into their mini-van.
Stacy arrived a few minutes later. We were getting together to study for our trig spring mid-term.
“Hey, Stacy,” I said as I answered the door.
“Hey, yourself,” she said, waltzing in.
She was always bold in her clothing choices. That day was no different. Wearing cut-off jean shorts over fishnet stockings, a Madonna inspired black leather jacket over her white tank top and combat boots, she sat down at our mint green kitchen table. Her eyes flickered up and down over me as she put her boots slowly up on the chair.
“What?” I asked as I wiped down the counter.
“So I heard a rumor.”
I hesitated as I pulled open the dishwasher. “Oh?”
“Yeah, there’s this crazy rumor that Beau Shepard is madly in love with you.”
“What?” I asked as the plate I was holding dropped to the burnt brown linoleum floor with a loud crash. “No... no... that can’t be right.”
Her blue green gaze filled with satisfaction. “Seems like you answered the question right there. Wanna tell me anything?”
“I just tutor Beau in English. He’s not in love with me,” I denied as I got out the broom and dustpan which were stashed behind the ancient olive green fridge.
“Several sources say they’ve seen you two in some compromising situations.”
“Can’t a guy and a girl hang around together without it being a thing?” I asked, sweeping up the broken plate.
“Are you officially denying you’re together?”
As you know, Stacy would grow up to become a reporter.
Always a nose for news.
“Yes, I am officially denying it. Besides, Ashley DeGraw hangs all over him. They’re probably dating,” I tried to say lightly, but it didn’t feel so light. I didn’t like saying that.
She arched a dark brow in disbelief. “So there’s nothing going on between you two?”
I had no concrete proof of Beau’s feelings for me and I wasn’t about to go around claiming things that weren’t true. “Look, we’ve never kissed and he’s never asked me out.”
Her blue green gaze danced with a calculated delight.“That doesn’t mean anything. That boy taped food to your locker, rescued you from a fight, and looks at you with an intensity I’ve never seen from him before. I’d say he’s into you. The question is: do you want to be with him?”
I rubbed my lips together, contemplating my answer.“I don’t know. It scares me how I feel about him. But more importantly, he hasn’t ever said or done anything that tells me he has feelings for me, and I refuse to be all moony around him and act like I want attention from him.”
S
he grinned as she cocked one of her eyebrows at me. “But you do want attention from him?”
“Of course I do!”
She gave me a sly smile. “You wanna go to a party tonight?”
“A party?” I wasn’t big into the get drunk every weekend scene. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t afford to do that with Emma around.
“Yeah, Chad Chilton is supposed to be throwing a huge rager. We’ve gotta go.”
“Why do we have to go?”
“Duh...cute boys and a house with no parents. Hottest party of the year. You have to go.”
I briefly wondered if Beau would be there.
“I don’t know,” I bit my lip thinking about the possibility. “Let me think about it.”
“Okay, but I’m not going to take no for an answer. I think it would be good for you to see Beau in a different light.”
“Why? Is he different around his friends?”
“Maybe. But you’ll only know for sure if you come with me.”
“Emma is staying at a friend’s house tonight,” I said, considering her offer.
“Perfect. Let’s knock out studying for this trig test and then we’ll go to my house and get ready. I want you to dress up tonight and really wow Beau.”
I was curious and willing to risk a night out.
I smiled big. “I’m all yours.”
She grinned back. “Good. Now help me understand how to calculate the value of cosine for this triangle,” she said, pointing to her trig book.
“All right,” I agreed as we hunkered down and got to work.
At about six o’clock, we finished studying and headed over to Stacy’s house to get dressed. She insisted I wear one of her hot pink mini-skirts and white blousy tank tops that hardly covered my belly button. She donned almost the same outfit, except her skirt was lime green. We both wore white bobby socks with black heels.
I let Stacy do my makeup and it was bold. I had rainbow colored lids and bright pink lipstick hugging my mouth. We each put on a pair of hoop earrings and ratted our hair out for all it was worth, leaving it very poofy thanks to gobs of hairspray.
We were completely in style and I had never looked wilder. But I went with it, determined to look good for my party debut. We got into Stacy’s little Rabbit convertible and took off for Chad’s.
We pulled up in front of a Tudor style house, complete with TP in the trees. It looked like it had been there for a few days. Apparently, his parents didn’t care or weren’t there. I wondered if I was entering into the wacky world of Weird Science or Sixteen Candles.
We were greeted by loud music and a ton of people getting trashed. I tried to ignore how awkward and uncomfortable I felt as we walked through the front hallway.
There were too many people at this party for my taste.
I liked more intimate gatherings. I was better one on one.
Here, I could barely think above the noise of the crowd and music blaring out of subwoofer speakers in the massive living room.
My whole class seemed to be partying it up, even though I didn’t know many of them.
“Isn’t this great?” Stacy asked in my ear, drinking some kind of beer out of a plastic cup as we stood in the hallway.
I shrugged. “Um...it’s okay.”
“Come on, loosen up. Let’s have some fun.”
“I’ll try,” I said, smoothing down my mini skirt as far it would go.
My outfit was attracting a lot of attention. Almost every guy there shot me a hungry look that made me feel like I was the special of the day.
I didn’t like it and I tried to blend into the wood paneled wall behind me.
It wasn’t working.
“You look hot tonight. Enjoy it. Make those boys pay,” Stacy said, sensing my hesitation to test out my new look.
“Why would I do that?” I asked.
“You can have any guy you want tonight. Make them work for your attention,” she encouraged as she flipped her blonde hair off her shoulder.
I balked. “Oh, no. I’m not really interested in that.”
“I’m sure your boy, Beau, is here tonight. Let him see you with other guys. Nothin’ like a little jealously to get him movin’ in the right direction.”
She had a point.
Bravely, I pushed away from the wall and made my way into kitchen, keeping an eye out for Beau.
“Want a drink?” some guy asked me, trying to hand me a red plastic cup with some kind of foul smelling liquid in it.
“No, thanks,” I said, pushing his hand away.
I wasn’t interested in getting drunk. I still wasn’t sure what I was doing there.
“Marla Matthews! Looking good!” I heard from the other side of the white tiled island.
I turned to see Dave Kawaski making his way toward me. We had trigonometry together. Smart kid, bad dresser.
“Thanks,” I said, taking in his red plaid shirt and hunter green and navy striped pants.
He was a big kid, but he had confidence out the wazoo.
He shot me an appreciative stare as he stopped in front of me. “Never seen you at a party before. Wanna dance?” he asked as “Groove is in the Heart” belted out across the house.
“Uh...sure,” I agreed, trying to follow Stacy’s advice.
He grabbed my hand and hauled me into the living room, where a bunch of other kids were dancing. We started out normally as Dave bounced awkwardly up and down, offbeat to the music as I swayed from side to side.
From there, things took a weird turn as he transitioned into bending his knees low and thrusting his bent arms back and forth with his fists clenched, like he was directing traffic while jazzercising.
I kinda stood there, not sure what to do.
“I’m feelin’ the beat, Marla,” he said like it explained what he was doing.
“I can tell,” I said, trying not to laugh.
He winked, knowing his dance was bizarre. It got weirder still as he stuck his elbows out, moving his hands front to back, as if he were a Maori warrior performing some kind of mating ritual.
“Oh my,” I said as I watched him go full throttle with his tribal dance. Every eye in the room was on his strange little performance.
“Way to go, Davy!” A booming voice praised from the back of the room as the song finished.
“Thank you, thank you! I’ll be giving out autographs for the next five minutes,” he called as he swung his hips around as if there was an invisible hula-hoop around his waist.
Laughing, I suddenly locked eyes with Beau, who seemed to be holding court in the back corner of the room. He came toward me, fire in his eyes.
“What are you doing here?” he asked as he met me on the dance floor.
“Just having a good time,” I answered with a smile.
“Seriously, why are you here, Sunshine?” he asked more defensively.
Mild irritation ran through me. “Why? Am I not supposed to hang out with the cool kids?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just don’t like seeing you dance with other guys. You’re dressed way too sexy tonight,” he admonished.
I balked as my mouth flew open. “You’re not my dad, Beau. I can dress any way I want. Besides, aren’t you the one who’s always telling me to have fun? So that’s what I’m doing...just having a little harmless fun. Nothing wrong with that.”
He shook his head as he grinned at me. “What am I gonna do with you, Sunshine?”
His charm wasn’t going to work on me. “You don’t have to do anything,” I said, as we stared fiercely at one another.
“There you are!” Ashley gushed, grabbing onto Beau’s arm. “I missed you, baby,” she said, grabbing his face and bringing it to hers as she kissed him right there in front of me.
That’s what he didn’t want me to see.
He was dating Ashley.
The worst, possible girl ever.
Crushed, I ran from the room. I rushed upstairs, trying to find a quiet space to lick my wounds in private. It took a
couple of tries, but I finally found an empty room at the end of the hall.
As I turned on the light, I was greeted by a sea of purple flowers from the wallpaper to dainty little flowers on the comforter. The layout was simple. A twin bed in the middle of the far wall and a dresser on the same side as the door.
Clearly a little girl’s room.
Emma would love it.
Wandering over to the dresser, I noticed a jewelry box sitting on top. Delicate purple flowers covered the rectangular box. As I opened it, a ballerina popped up and a song started to play as she twirled in a circle.
The little melancholy song made me sad.
Beau wasn’t mine.
I had no right to feel what I was feeling.
Possessive
Jealous.
Hurt.
A single tear meandered down my cheek as I tried to deny the pain of seeing him kiss nasty Ashley DeGraw. Granted, she had made it happen, but he hadn’t stopped it. He would never be serious about me.
I just needed to remember that kissing was sport for Beau.
Damn it, I knew better.
Boys were not to be trusted.
The depressing notes of the music made my watery eyes spill over as more tears slid down my cheeks.
I was embarrassed and humiliated.
How could he do that to me?
“Well, well, well.” The door slammed open as Jeremy Brockman filled the space between me and freedom. “So poor little Marla runs away after Beau kisses some other whore.” He laughed maliciously, a demented look filling his dark, hooded eyes as he closed the door.
Uh-oh. I was in trouble.
I knew why he was here. He didn’t take too kindly to a girl getting the best of him. He slowly removed his green Army jacket as he stared hungrily at me. He undressed me with his eyes, making the pit of my stomach lurch with danger warnings.
Get out!
Get out!
He stalked me as I gauged the distance to the door. “I bet Beau’s doin’ you real good. Maybe I need some of what he’s gettin'. Maybe it’ll make me sweet on you.”
I swallowed down my fear. “Now, Jeremy, there’s no reason to talk like that. All I did was stop you from beating up a special needs kid.” I moved slowly toward the door, trying not to spook the grizzly bear of a boy in front of me.