Touch a Dark Wolf (The Shadowmen Book 1)

by Jennifer St Giles

  “Well?” Shashur said.

  “Nothing. Seems as if Erin Morgan has managed to escape again.”

  “Only until nightfall. The damned are so much more competent than you mortals.”

  Cinatas smiled, seeing in his mind’s eye Shashur on his knees, begging for life. He could barely wait for the day.

  A monkish chant—or was it more of a wolf’s low cry?—called to Erin, luring her from the pleasure she wanted to fly away to. She felt weird, warm in some places and oddly cold and wet in others. Part of her ached like a mega flu bug had taken a bite out of her hide—make that several chunks—and part of her felt too pleasant to be real. Her head throbbed with a vengeance again, and an all-over heaviness weighed upon her, as did a worrying sense that she needed to do something very important. Yet she couldn’t move. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to try. She’d seen the otherworldly light again. But this time it had been brighter, more beautiful, and so soothingly welcoming that she hadn’t been aware of anything else.

  “Erin.” The deep voice vibrated through her, calling to her. “Erin.”

  She drew a breath and had the oddest sensation that she hadn’t been breathing until then. Her heart squeezed painfully, then pounded as if it had beats to make up for. Her thoughts were like thick clouds—obscurely dense from a distance and disappearing into a wispy mist when she grasped for one.

  “You’ve returned to me.” Even though it was almost a whisper, the passion filling his voice shook her. “I’m forsaken, but not yet damned.”

  Jared! Her mind shouted. Memory sent her eyes fluttering open to meet his intense gaze, his face mere inches from hers in a dimly lit place. He held her cradled in his arms, her head resting against his right shoulder as he leaned over her, his full mouth grim and his brow furrowed with deep concern. Even though he was wet, Heat radiated from him, warming her chilled body. He smelled of rain and the antiseptic she’d applied to his burn before bandaging it.

  The storm raged, but no rain fell on them, telling her he’d found shelter.

  Her insides trembled and her nerves tingled. She felt as if she was awakening from numbness to an over-sensitized level of awareness. She groaned, immediately recalling the creatures battling in the heavens, the iridescent blood that had rained from the supernatural battle, the lightning, and then the pain.

  This time, Jared had moved faster than lightning itself to save her from a direct hit. The agony that had ripped through her after the bolt hit the ground had to have been electricity. Too many weird things were happening, and more and more, Jared was a part of them in some strange way rather than an accidental encounter.

  Throat dry and words slurring, she rasped her questions. “What happened? Who and what were those fighting creatures in the sky? Who are you? How did you move faster than lightning?”

  His eyes widened in an expression that said, You’ve seen something you shouldn’t, not What in the hell are you talking about?

  Move over X-Files, there’s a new weird in town. And she wasn’t going to take it lying down. She tried to sit up, but dizziness washed over her as her head throbbed almost unbearably. She groaned.

  “You’re hurt.”

  “My head. This past week I’ve had headaches that even Ben & Jerry’s triple raspberry fudge can’t fix. Believe me, I have the pharmacy bill and the added pounds to prove it.”

  “Where?”

  “Where what?” If he couldn’t see where the added pounds were, she wasn’t going to point them out.

  “Where does your head hurt?”

  “All over, but here is where I hurt the most.” She touched her eyes, then her temples, careful to avoid the cut on her left one. The skin there was swollen and tender.

  Jared brushed Erin’s hands aside and placed his palms against her head, pressing as he closed his eyes to focus his being on hers. Her hair was damp, but still soft, as was her skin. And even though he held her in his arms, even though he knew he’d won against the darkness that had tried to steal her from this life, it wasn’t enough. He wanted more than just to hold her. He wanted to know all of those things that his desire for her urged him to explore.

  Inside, he felt as if he was still out in the storm, knowing she was about to be struck by a lightning bolt from Heldon’s Fallen Army. His heart still thundered, and his stomach twisted and turned like a wind battered twig. He’d been standing near her and had almost failed to protect her.

  Was there a reason he’d been condemned instead of being executed?

  Did Logos have a plan? No other mortal had ever seen him before, but Erin saw him in his Blood Hunter’s cloak last night. Her horrified expression had distracted him in his fight with the Tsara. Meeting her golden gaze through the cracked windshield had been the first time he’d ever looked a mortal in the eye, and he’d been unprepared for the depth of her soul. That one look had cost him his own.

  And as far as he knew, mortals were blissfully ignorant of the horror in the spirit world. No mortal he’d ever protected had seen him, or the Guardian Forces battling Heldon’s Army, but she had. Was there one last task he was needed for? It seemed so. He’d protect Erin for as long as he could. As a Shadowman, he’d been bound within the spirit realm, as were all of the Guardian Forces with few exceptions. Maybe Logos needed a Blood Hunter made mortal to be at Erin’s side to help her fight the predator she faced.

  Jared didn’t believe for a moment that Aragon would be so foolish to chance a Blood Hunters soul on a possibility of redemption. Not after what happened to Pathos. Not after what Pathos had done in his Blood Hunter’s cloak to mortals before descending into Heldon’s lair. The brutality of Pathos’s werewolf attacks still haunted the mortal world today, though a thousand years had passed. And Pathos’s leadership in the Vladarian Order had completely warped Logos’s truth on Earth, bringing much darkness to the world.

  Jared couldn’t let that happen to him. Already the Tsara’s poison grew stronger. Every breath he drew served as a growing reminder of the sweet purity of Erin’s Chosen blood and sharpened his need. He had never understood how Pathos had gone from protecting mortals to tearing them apart in the twinkle of time. Now a part of Jared, a still small but rapidly growing part of him, now understood Pathos bloodlust with a sickening clarity.

  Holding Erin close to him helped ease the blood hunger, but also fed another. She never failed to cause changes to his fleshly form with her nearness, and his desire to meld his mortal body to hers was becoming a driving passion, almost as strong as his hunger for her blood.

  In the spirit world, he’d never bound his spirit with another because such chains made a warrior weak. So as much as he wanted to experience a mortal melding with Erin, experience all that he’d never known and now craved, he couldn’t afford it. Only unbound spirits made effective warriors, and he needed his warrior strength to fight the Tsara’s poison as long as possible.

  But how could he stay strong when her very nearness made him weak, made him crave intimacy? He closed his eyes and tried to call upon everything good that yet remained in his spirit to help her. He felt the throbbing ache in her head and eased it. He felt the exhaustion weighing heavily upon her body and strengthened her. He felt the fear and the worry in her spirit and sent his comfort around her. Then something else deep within her called to him, and he sent his mind deeper into her spirit. There he found a very lonely part of her that yearned for the passion of another. That yearning sent his blood surging, hardening his desire for her to an excruciating point.

  In his mind he saw himself melding his lips to the tender fullness of her lips and delving into the passionate warmth of her mouth. He felt his hands exploring the soft curves of her feminine flesh, feasting upon the sensations of exploring her body with all of his. Then he saw himself driving all of his hard desire into the depths of her, totally melding his spirit to hers in a life-generating explosion of pleasure.

  He groaned deeply at the fire coursing through him and opened his eyes to gaze into Erin’s. She was
staring at him, her golden eyes dark with desire. Her lips were parted as if waiting for his.

  He groaned again, unable to deny himself just once the feel of her lips upon his. Sliding his hands from her temple to cup her cheeks in his palms, he bent his head toward hers and pressed his mouth to hers. Instead of leaning into him and opening to his caresses as he knew she desperately wanted, she pushed against his chest.

  “How did you do that?” she whispered. “How did you take away the pain? How did you warm me inside? It was as if you were there inside me, and we were...”

  He sighed, dropping his hands, thankful she’d called his warriors spirit back from a ledge that would have only weakened him more. “Spirits made mortal have the strength and abilities that mortals have slowly lost over the ages.”

  Erin shook her head, trying to figure out what had just happened between her and this strange man. He’d taken away her pain like some miracle healer. She’d felt the energy of him inside her, as if by his touch he’d oozed part of himself into her mind . . . and further. She felt as if he’d made love to her, kissed her, touched her, buried himself so hot and deep inside her that even now she quivered from the experience.

  Careful not to injure his bandaged shoulder, Erin pushed herself up from Jared’s arms to crouch on the ground next to him. He had carried her to a small cave, deep enough to protect them from the storm yet shallow enough to catch a little light from the fading day. A few feet away, water steadily dripped from a stalactite into a pool about the size of large mixing bowl before disappearing into the rock. She shifted her gaze back to Jared.

  “Who and what are you, Jared Hunter? What happened out there in the storm? What just happened now?”

  He leaned toward her and said, “You must seek cover whenever you see a storm brewing. There are forces in the spirit world at work against you. You are in more danger than ever before.”

  “What do you mean more than before?”

  “Your near death experiences with the spirit world have weakened your protective aura. You are also in an area where the spirit barrier has been eroded by centuries of worship from the ancients. Such sacred places make you more vulnerable to the dark forces.”

  She got the danger part, but the rest? “You’re saying those creatures I saw in the sky are gunning for me? No,” she said, forcing herself up on rubbery legs to stand. “I didn’t just ask that question. What I saw wasn’t real. I had to have suffered a headache-induced hallucination.” She threw her hands up as she paced the short distance across the cave. “This whole day hasn’t been real. Yesterday and last night did not happen. I am not in a cave right now with a miracle man talking about personal auras, spirit barriers, and creatures out to get me.”

  And she hadn’t just had telepathic sex with him either.

  Hell, the world had gone mad, and her scalp tingled with what seemed like a permanent itch.

  She was vaguely identifying with Alice in Through the Looking Glass, even down to the rabbit hole she was now in. Except instead of a mad hatter or a racing rabbit, she had a tall, dark fantasy man wearing a yellow towel kilt who was capable of making love via telepathic airwaves.

  In some ways she still felt as if he were inside her . . . her mind, that is. The rest of her was as solid as Jell-O. Icy drops of water from the wet hem of her dress dripped down her legs, making her shudder. She desperately wanted a hot bath and a bed. Or better yet, she wanted to burrow back into his embrace, against his heat, and repeat that sensual journey she had to have imagined.

  And she was certifiable to even have that thought at this moment.

  Jared wasn’t doing much to help her, either. His attraction to her stood out loud in clear beneath the yellow towel as he stood facing her with a pained expression on his face.

  Jared clenched his fist as frustration built within him. Something had changed between them since he searched her spirit and mind with his. He didn’t feel it until she pulled away from him and stretched the bond that seemed to have fused between their spirits. Her reaction confused him. He had sensed a yearning deep inside of her to meld herself with him. Yet after they’d melded, her spirit had run from him. He couldn’t decide if she feared herself or feared him. That and her disbelief oddly pained him, making him feel more vulnerable than ever before, a place no warrior should be.

  He shook his head and rolled his shoulders, trying to shrug off the unfamiliar emotions. He either wanted to flee to the forest and run until the wind burned his face, or to deepen the bond between them by reentering her spirit again.

  He couldn’t do either. It was essential to build a greater trust between them and for her to believe in the reality was revealing to her. Not doing so, could get her killed.

  How could he reach her? Would telling her more about the spirit world help her understand? Even though she kept rejecting the truth, she was still aware of it on some level.

  Before he’d attacked the Tsara, he’d sensed something more potent about Erin’s blood. The Chosen were special, but Erin was even more so, though he didn’t know why. The fact that this doctor hunting her was involved in taking blood from mortals raised red flags in his mind. Any time blood was involved, Jared immediately thought of the Vladarian Order. There had to be a connection here.

  Jared decided to be as truthful and direct as he could. Honesty and acceptance paved the pathway to trust. “You do not trust me, Erin. Why? Have I failed you in some way or been unworthy?”

  Erin frowned at him then went to the opening of the cave and faced the falling rain. “It isn’t a matter of trust, Jared. It is a matter of reason.”

  He clenched his jaw at the sharpening of the pain inside him. He could not escape the fact that her nearness eased the effects of the Tsara’s poison; the farther she moved away from him, the harder the Tsara’s poison hit. But it would seem more than physical distance between them caused this to happen. He realized that an emotional distancing had the same effect. This was new, as if the bond he’d forged by ministering to her had made this happen.

  Maybe telling her more of the spirit world would only further her withdrawal? Did he have a right to reveal to her a world in which she could do no more about than to have nightmares over? Maybe not. Yet how could he reach her?

  Stepping behind her, he set his hands on her shoulders and eased her against him. “Can you not see that I will do all within my power to protect you, Erin?”

  Erin closed her eyes as Jared’s heat and the hard contours of his body pressed against her back. She mentally pushed against the sensations stealing through her. He was in her mind, and she could feel his sensual caress deep within her.

  He’s delusional, a part of her shouted.

  A deeper part of her shouted back, He’s laid his life on the line for you. And he is different in ways you can’t explain. He healed you.

  “Can’t you see that?” he asked, more urgent that before.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “But—”

  “No. There is only this connection between us. You know you can trust me. It is the most important.”

  He sounded like nothing else mattered, but it did.

  She turned to him. “Who are you?”

  He stared deeply at her, his gaze growing more and more desolate. “I don’t know who I am anymore, Erin. I know what I am. I am damned, poisoned within my soul. Fallen.”

  That he’d reverted back to delusion brought stinging tears to her eyes. She set her hand on his shoulder, feeling the vibrancy of him as she tried earnestly to get him to understand. “Jared, we are all fallen in some ways. No one is perfect. But that doesn’t answer my question, Jared. You expect me to believe and trust a man whom I know nothing about. I can’t.”

  He sighed heavily as if the weight of the universe had fell on his shoulders. “I was a Blood Hunter, an elite band of the Shadowmen warriors, who serve in Logos’s Guardian Forces. You saw a skirmish between the Guardian Forces and Heldon’s Fallen Army during the storm.”

  Jared was even more delu
sional than she thought. More tears burned her eyes. She’d never felt as compelled to help anyone as much as she wanted to help him. “What does all that mean, Jared? What exactly does a Blood Hunter do?”

  “There are creatures from the damned that feed upon Chosen blood. A Blood Hunter does whatever he can to stop that from happening.”

  Erin’s heart squeezed painfully. After all that she’d thought she’d seen and had experienced, part of her wanted to believe in what he said. But another part of her couldn’t accept that this was real. She felt as if she was being sucked into his delusions. It was time she took charge of the situation and force some reality into this growing insanity.

  She forced a smile. “Speaking of eating, I have some power bars, and I’m starving. Aren’t you hungry?”

  He inhaled deeply and looked at her, appearing suddenly ravenous. “Can’t you see how important this is?” he asked. “Don’t you want to know what feeds on Chosen blood, Erin?”

  Jared’s tone and the intensity of want in his eyes sent a shiver running through Erin. She didn’t suppose the nameless things he spoke of fed on oats and honey. But responding to his question would only feed his delusions.

  He was such a strong, dynamic man that his crippling delusions made her hurt deeply for him. Maybe if she played along a little, he’d realize he didn’t need his delusions.

  “Yes,” she said. “I’m sorry. I do see that it is important. Why don’t you tell me what I need to know while we eat?”

  He drew his finger down her cheek until its tip nestled on the pulse point of her neck. “No forgiveness needed. But you do have to understand there is more to the world than you know. Just as there is more to life than this small cave, there are greater realms outside the mortal world.” His clear blue gaze searched hers with such reason that for the first time a tiny question burrowed into her mind.