Meghan shook her head, “I wasn’t planning on it. I know people, James, and I don’t like them.”
“Yeah,” added Kellan, “people, what a bunch of bastards.”
“You can’t say it like that, silly,” came a voice from behind the group. Everyone turned and Juliet walked up with her boyfriend in tow, “Hi everybody. Merry Christmas!” She was holding a young man’s hand and gave him a nudge, “You guys remember Glenn right?” He gave a shy little greeting with his free hand.
“I have not yet had the pleasure,” boomed Ares as he extended a hand which Glenn accepted. “A good grip, Glenn. My name is Seramai.” said Ares, then turned to Kellan. “I assume you approve of him courting—”
“Hey,” said Juliet, voice rising, “Mr. Mountain. No one courts anymore. We are dating and Kellan has absolutely no say in the matter.”
Seramai considered this for a moment, then said, “So, Kellan doesn’t approve then?”
The young Sentinel clucked his tongue and said, “Well, I haven’t lit him on fire or sent him back in time to live to death,” He locked eyes with Glenn and lowered his voice, “yet.” A moment later, Kellan’s face split into a grin as he, too, reached out a hand. “Nah, just kidding. Glenn here is a stand-up guy, treats Juliet like a queen, and she likes him. If she likes him, I like him. She’s a fully self actualized adult woman and I trust her judgement.”
Seramai seemed far from convinced but said nothing further. Juliet, for her part, seemed genuinely stunned by Kellan’s lack of a barbed response and sputtered a bit before finally saying, “Uh, thanks Kel.”
He waved it away, but asked, “Now, what can’t I say like what?” She looked at him blankly and he continued. “When you walked up a minute ago, you said, ‘you can’t say it like that, silly.’”
Recognition dawned on the young woman and she said, “Oh, if you are going to quote The IT Crowd, you have to do it with a proper Irish accent, like this,” Juliet slipped into an impressively good Irish accent while pitching her voice lower, “I don’t like people. People, what a bunch of bastards.”
Kellan’s face lit up and he clapped. “That was brilliant, Juliet. I love it. Henceforth, I will always try to do it properly.”
“Ok,” interjected James, “I’m going to take care of the rest of my guests and leave you guys to your nerd-fest. Please do try and mingle.”
“I am not a nerd,” offered Seramai gravely and he looked to Meghan for confirmation. She shook her head and said, “No, hun, you are the farthest thing from a nerd. In fact, the only real nerds here are Kellan and Juliet. It’s just that their nerd-powers are so vast they seem to create a bubble of nerdom that infects everyone around them. James is right, we should wander around lest the infection truly take hold.” Kellan sneered and mouthed something anatomically improbably to Meghan. “In your dreams, book-boy, you had your chance.” She looped her arm into Ares offered one and they started to walk away. “Oh,” she added, glancing over her shoulder, “I’ll be seeing you at the white elephant exchange later, to mercilessly steal from you, like I always do.”
“Oh yeah, when’s the white elephant thing?” asked Kellan, his face lighting up, “I love those.”
“Did you not read the agenda?” asked Juliet.
Kellan shook his head, “Oh no, he didn’t attach an agenda to the invitation, did he?”
“Yep,” she replied with a laugh.
“And he calls me a nerd. I told that tall drink of chocolate perfection to stop with the party agendas. I swear, working at IBM has broken something in him forever.”
Juliet shrugged noncommittally and Shannon asked, “Could someone please explain why we are exchanging white elephants?”
“Yes, please,” added Ah’Anon and Mircalla together.
“Tell you what,” began Kellan, “You guys give me your drink requests and I’ll grab them for everyone. Juliet, why don’t you take the crew and chill out on the couches over there where you can explain the finer details of white elephant strategy.”
“You got it, boss,” she replied with her three-fingered geek scout salute, “crew, follow me.”
Chapter 18
A Song And A Dance
Juliet nodded enthusiastically as she held court with the small crowd gathered around her. “Yeah, and Meghan always manages to ensure that whatever gift Kellan is most enamored with gets stolen from him. Oh, he always looks so crushed too. And surprised. Each time he’s surprised which makes it all the more funny.” Juliet looked up to find Kellan staring at her, frowning with a tray full of drinks. “Oh, hi Kel.”
“Don’t hi me, Miss Herrick. I still think you are part of the Meghan Daugherty Christmas Conspiracy.” He set down the tray and raised a fist as folks reached for their drinks, “This time will be different. This time, I will emerge victorious from our annual Christmas combat. Daugherty is going down!”
“I’m not sure, sweetie,” said Shannon, “Juliet explained the rules and the only way Meghan could so consistently win, is because she’s planned out her attacks long beforehand.”
“Doesn’t matter,” said Kellan, “this year is gonna be different. I have a plan too.”
Shannon smiled as Kellan sat down beside her. She took his hand in both of hers and looked into his eyes. “What?” he asked.
“Well, it’s just that planning really isn’t your strong suit, Kellan. There are people who plan and people who don’t plan. You are one of the non-planners. I love you, but, no. Not a planner.”
“That’s totally not—”
Kellan was interrupted by James’ amplified voice as it cut across the gathering. “Merry Christmas Everyone!”
The crowd responded as one, “Merry Christmas!”
“I’m sure you’ve all read the program, so you know we have a couple of very special treats for you this year on either side of the white elephant exchange. The first one should get everyone in the mood and the second will help cheer up those who get their favorite gifts stolen.” At this last, James gave a pointed look to Kellan who growled something unintelligible. James raised his free hand and said, “Now, for those who were here last year, you may remember that beautiful Naomi accompanied me on some festive songs.” He pointed with his mic toward a blonde woman who stood surrounded by a small group all of which joined others clapping in her direction. Naomi gave a shallow bow and raised her glass in salute to James.
“Hey,” said Kellan, “she's wearing the exact same outfit you are, Shannon.”
“Is she?” the scotswoman responded with an innocuous smile, “Why, that is odd.”
“But this year, we have a double treat because I have been blessed with a second amazing woman to join me. Direct from the Scottish Highlands, please put your hands together for Shannon McLeod, the most beautiful woman to ever ignore the many faults of my best friend, Kellan.”
By this point Shannon had already untangled herself from Kellan and made to move toward James. She glanced down, met the young Sentinel’s dumbfounded gaze, and gave him a wink.
“I didn’t know you sang,” he whispered.
“I do lots of things about which you are unaware, Kellan Thorne.” She leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the nose. “James and I worked on this for you. Merry Christmas, sweetie.”
With that, she made her way to James’ side as the strains of “White Christmas,” began to play through the sound system. The pieces snapped into place and Kellan realized how both Naomi and Shannon wore stylized replicas of the dresses from the classic Christmas musical. He knew James had an amazing singing voice. In fact he had commented numerous times about the injustice of James being able to sing, dance, and look beautiful all at the same time. Given that Kellan knew he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket and danced like he had two left feet, the young Sentinel found it all quite unfair. Those thoughts fell away as the two began to sing. The deepness of James’ rich voice joined perfectly with Shannon’s own and the room fell silent as they sang and danced their way through the classic. The l
ast note faded away and Shannon leaned into James as he tilted her back and placed a kiss on her cheek. The room broke into applause and they smiled out at their audience for a moment then, James raised both hands for quiet.
“Thanks everyone. Now, there’s only one more song between us and the big white elephant in the room.” Soft laughter flowed among the crowd and James continued, “Yep, best y’all chuckle now, because I’ve seen what’s in store and, well, I’ll let it speak for itself.” He turned to Shannon and swept out an arm. “The stage is yours Miss McLeod.”
Shannon accepted the Mic, stared nervously out at the gathering, and spoke with her thick brogue more apparent than usual. “Thank you, James. As you can probably tell, I’m not from Georgia.” More laughter flowed across the room. “I’m from the Highlands of Scotland, but there’s a song from a nearby island I’d like to sing for someone here tonight. He’s the love of my life,” she paused as a hushed Aw swept the room, “He’s the lust of my loins,” female catcalls and whoops replaced the Aw, “and he’s the guard at my back. I love you, Kellan Thorne.”
Kellan glanced around self-consciously as both friends and strangers turned their attention to him. His anxiety only lasted for a moment because Shannon took a deep breath and began to sing.
Oh Danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling. From glen to glen and down the mountain side…
Her voice rang crisp and clear like a bell sounding on a winter morning. It was rich and strong while conveying all the vulnerabilities inherent to the song itself. Kellan’s mind drank in each note and placed them perfectly along side the images of her standing alone with her eyes locked on his. He felt tears beginning to well as the song twisted and curved around the subtle changes that were made by one of his favorite artists, Eva Cassidy. Shannon had remarked on her music and appeared to not even be paying attention when Kellan had described how Eva had died tragically young, but that her rendition of the haunting Irish ballad was always his favorite.
For you shall bend and tell me that you love me and I will sleep in peace until you come to me…”
Shannon lowered the mic and the room remained silent for the span of three heartbeats, then erupted in applause.
She smiled as she handed the mic back to James and started to make her way back toward Kellan when he felt the familiar, large hand grip his shoulder. He turned to find Ares leaning in to him, amber flecks glinting through tears. “If you do not marry that woman, you, Kellan Thorne, are God’s unchecked fool on the world.”
Kellan circled the room like a shark slowly assessing its prey. He paused in front of a middle-aged man who squirmed a bit under the Sentinel’s gaze. The man’s finely tailored suit bulged a bit on the left side. Who wears a suit to a Christmas party, thought Kellan, then answered himself, IBM weenie, has to be. Outwardly, the young Sentinel just smiled and said, “Hold it up, bub. I see you hiding it there.”
The man sighed and removed the object from beneath his suit jacket for Kellan to examine, but pulled it back as the Sentinel reached out a hand.
“No,” the man said with a grumble, “you get to look at it, but you don’t get to touch it, not until you make a decision.”
Kellan frowned and turned to James who sat in a large, almost throne-like chair around which all the smaller chairs had been arranged. “I need a ruling here,” said Kellan.
James gave an imperious look to both Kellan and the man, then waved his hand in a sweeping gesture. “If one opens a gift, their turn ends. If one touches an open gift, that gift is stolen, becomes theirs, and their turn ends. So let it be written. So let it be done.”
Kellan glared at his friend and mumbled something about Pharaohs and douchebags, but pointedly clasped his hands behind his back as he crouched down before the suited man. The Sentinel channeled the barest trickle of energy as he long-blinked just to be sure no-one could see even the slightest glow.
“Standby Sentinel-Kellan, I am cross-referencing the object with those available on Amazon.com. This will take a few moments as I am developing a probability matrix based on the size and composition of the object.”
Kellan sighed and projected his thoughts back to Jarvis. As impressive as that sounds, Jarvis, have you considered just using the UPC code on the box he’s holding? I know I’m not some artificially intelligent super-genius, so feel free to ignore the suggestion. There was a two-second pause and Kellan repressed a grin because he knew that two-seconds was like two hours in Jarvis-world.
“Thank you for your suggestion. The object is a Leechi Power Bank. It retails for $19.85 on Amazon and claims to be able to recharge a typical mobile phone six times.”
Ooo, that sounds pretty good, thought Kellan.
“However,” added Jarvis, “it has an average of only one point five stars with the most recent reviewer indicating that the power bank caused her phone to burst into flames. That does not seem to be a desirable feature and I would advise against stealing this item, Kellan.”
No shit, thought Kellan somewhat dejectedly and he rose, leaving the surprised man to clutch his prize in relief. The young Sentinel started making his way back toward the Christmas tree, resigned that he was going to have to choose a random present rather than steal something. He was about to pick up a large box wrapped in Sponge Bob Christmas paper when he caught something in his peripheral vision. Kellan turned and found Meghan not looking at him. She was more than not looking. She was actively avoiding him by focusing undue attention on one of her shoes.
“Whatcha hiding, there Meg?” asked Kellan.
“Nothing,” came her short response.
“Something, I think. Funny, I don’t recall you having had a turn.” He said, ignoring her comment.
“You were in the bathroom when her name was pulled,” offered Shannon.
“Really,” said Kellan, his voice rising with interest, “Hold up what you have in the bag Meghan.” The former Marine glared at Shannon but slowly opened her bag and lifted up a relatively large, narrow, box. Kellan’s eyes grew wide and he walked over to her and said, “Is that a TARDIS lava lamp?”
“What’s a TARDIS?” asked Meghan defiantly.
“Don’t even,” began Kellan, then added, “Cough it up.”
“Sentinel-Kellan,” said Jarvis, his voice catching Kellan off-guard enough that he almost jumped. “I wanted to inform you that this item has been deceptively marketed. Do not be taken in by its name. There is no actual lava in the lamp, nor is it bigger on the inside as its TARDIS name would imply.”
Kellan sighed as he stuck out his hand and watched Meghan’s expression darken. She stared flatly at him and growled, “You don’t want to do this.”
He smiled and cocked his head as if thinking, then replied, “I really kinda do. Now, gimme.”
The Nephilim didn’t move but when Kellan saw the first glints of amber begin to luminesce, he reached down and tapped her nose. “Boop!” he said with a grin and she flinched back in surprise. Kellan grabbed the TARDIS lava lamp with a sweeping gesture and then held it aloft with both hands. He started doing his patented victory dance which, according to most, looked a bit like an intoxicated chicken trying to walk on a rapidly moving treadmill.
Kellan had begun the second round of his dance when he finally noticed Shannon frantically waving at him, James’ shocked express, and the hush which had fallen over the room. The young Sentinel felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he slowly turned, feeling like every Jurassic Park character did just before being devoured by a velociraptor.
Worse than a velociraptor, thought Kellan as he stared into Meghan’s brightly glowing eyes and noted the massive black wings against the wall behind her. It’s a pissed off Daugherty.
She lunged at him but Ares was faster. He grabbed the collar of her shirt and yanked her back so hard that Meghan’s feet went out from under her. She twisted as she fell, lowered her left hand to the floor as a pivot point and swept back around with her right foot. Ares doubled over as she connected and he flew back
several feet to slam into the wall. Sheetrock dust exploded as the wall cracked around him, leaving an almost comical Ares-shaped outline.
“Meghan,” he growled, “I have warned you about your temper. Do not go into the fog.”
But it was far too late. The Nephilim leaped into the air and hovered. Her shadow wings extended outward and knives appeared in both hands. Time seemed to slow as Kellan noticed two distinctly different things at nearly the same moment. First, those people nearest the commotion began to scream and turned to flee from Meghan’s supernatural display. Well, that’s to be expected I suppose, thought Kellan. However, as his eyes slipped off the ensuing chaos, he saw the second thing. Kellan saw, himself, standing several feet away apparently filming the entire debacle with his iPhone. When the other Kellan noticed Kellan looking at him, he lowered the camera, gave a friendly wave, then ripped open portal and vanished.
Huh, thought Kellan, now that’s something you don’t see every day.
“No, you don’t,” said a voice next to his ear. Kellan spun around but saw nothing. “I’m invisible. If you think things are crazy now, just imagine how crazy they would be if folks suddenly saw another you materialize.”
“Huh, and you are?”
“Future you, of course. Jesus, I hope I’m not normally this slow on the uptake. Come over by the restroom so we can talk” Kellan did as requested and paused when he rounded the corner to where a narrow hallway led to a unisex restroom. A puff of green motes appeared in the air and Kellan stood before him, grinning.
“Hey, brotha man,” said future Kellan, “I’ve done this a couple times now, so just to keep things simpler than they would otherwise be, you should call me Fellan. You know, for—”
“Future Kellan, yeah, I get it. Cute. What are you doing here and when are you coming from?” Asked Kellan, feeling curiously annoyed, with himself.
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