But he should apply no matter what. If he got the job and decided he didn’t want it, he could always turn it down. He’d truly enjoyed teaching, at least the classroom aspect of it. Working with teens had been fantastic. The parents and admin, not so much.
“You still there?” Warren asked.
How long had he been letting his mind whirl? “Yeah. Umm… I haven’t really decided what to do next, but I’ll send my résumé.”
“Don’t tell me you were serious when you said you wouldn’t take another teaching job?”
He wished he knew. “I was angry. I’m still angry.”
“Angry enough to let those bastards force you out of teaching?”
Angry enough to realize there are other easier ways to make a living. “You really want me to apply, don’t you?”
“Considering some of the people I have to work with, how could I not? Having you on the staff would be awesome.”
“If they want to interview me, I’ll come and give it a fair shot. But are they going to want to hire someone who’s been surrounded by controversy?”
“Knowing my admin, they’ll see it as a coup to show our community how interested we are in diversity.”
“Are they actually interested?”
“More than most, though they’re far from perfect. But what school is?”
“True.” He wasn’t looking for perfection, just acceptance.
“I’ve got to run, but I would love to have you here.”
“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll email you in a few minutes.”
“Good.”
If Beck did want to teach again, Warren’s school seemed like a great bet. Warren had been happy there for the last few years, or as happy as a teacher could be, considering the far-lower-than-it-should-be salary and the intense out-of-classroom commitment expected by competitive private schools. Warren was right; he shouldn’t let the admin from Bigot Country Day keep him from doing something he loved. But teaching wasn’t the only thing he enjoyed doing, and if he got this job, he’d be leaving Ames Bridge in August at the latest.
August would mean four months. Isn’t that long enough?
Longer than he’d initially planned. And he was already chafing against backward thinking when he’d not even been there two weeks yet. He wasn’t naive enough to think there weren’t plenty of conservatives in Charlotte. But that wasn’t the reason for his reluctance to leave. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, the only thing making him feel tied to Ames Bridge was Cal. But no matter how strongly Beck felt about Cal, he would never stay in Ames Bridge for a man who wanted to hide him away. He needed to spend more time planning a viable future—at a school, or building an event company in a city, or doing any of a number of things that weren’t living in his grandma’s house, pining for the farm boy next door.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Beck propped his feet up on the railing of Cal’s porch. It was Saturday evening, and the sun was headed down. They’d spent a good chunk of the afternoon discussing all aspects of the flower garden/riding trail. They’d even ridden out to examine the site—with Beck on Houston, a far more reliable mount—and taken a leisurely ride along the trail with a pause for a make-out session in the woods.
When they’d returned, Cal had set up his laptop on a small glass-topped table, and he was currently frowning at the screen as he took care of some data entry. With a pitcher of tea and a bowl of strawberries beside him, he belonged in an issue of Southern Living as the picture of the modern farmer.
In between moments of silently watching Cal, Beck played around on his phone: scrolling through his social media accounts, playing a few rounds of Solitaire, and finding out what cheese he was, based on the furniture he selected for his dream home—Gouda, so the ludicrous quiz said. On one of his passes through Twitter, he noticed an ad for the latest Dwayne Johnson action film. He hadn’t realized it had opened that weekend. A quick search told him Bridge View Cineplex—which you could not see the bridge from—had several showings each day. Apparently, they’d even remodeled since he’d last gone to a movie there.
“Hey, Cal, The Rock’s new movie is out.”
Cal looked up. “You got a thing for him?”
“Hell yeah. Those arms. I really have a thing for arms.” He let his gaze run very deliberately over Cal’s biceps. “In case you haven’t noticed.”
Cal grinned and flexed for him.
“You wanna go see it together?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Beck realized that was never going to happen. “I’m sorry. I…”
Cal looked away, but not before Beck saw the pain in his eyes. He looked fucking lost. Tension built as the joking atmosphere from a moment before was washed away by their disagreement over how accepting Ames Bridge’s citizens could be.
Cal closed his laptop and stood, and Beck dropped his feet from the porch railing. He was struggling to read Cal’s expression, but he was fairly sure he was about to be sent on his way. To his surprise, Cal circled his chair and sank to his knees in front of him. Beck parted his legs so Cal could move closer.
“I hate this,” Cal said, reaching up to cup Beck’s cheek.
“Wanting me?” Beck hadn’t meant the words to sound quite so bitter. He’d known what he was getting into when they’d started this…whatever it was. Yes, there’d been glorious moments of companionship, but that wasn’t really what Cal was offering.
Cal shook his head. “No, I’ve accepted wanting you, needing you. But the hiding, the sneaking around, I fucking hate it.”
“Y-you do?”
Cal turned away, looking out over his fields. “Maybe for you this is just something casual, like I intended it to be, but—”
“Cal, this isn’t just fucking for me. Are you saying it isn’t for you either?”
Cal looked back at him and nodded.
Did this mean Cal was considering a real relationship, one where they could go out in public? “So what do we do now?”
“I don’t know.” The anguish in Cal’s voice cut right through him, so he said what he wanted instead of what he should.
“Take me to bed.”
Cal took his hand and stood, holding his gaze the whole time. “Can we just…pretend none of this shit exists?”
Beck nodded. “For now it’s just us. No one else’s opinions. No worries about the future. Just what we feel right now.”
“Yes please.”
“Come on.” Beck tugged his hand and turned to enter the house.
He headed straight for the stairs. They’d not had sex in Cal’s room yet, but Beck knew where to go. Cal still had the same room he’d had as a kid. The room where he’d showed off his trucks and planes and other things Beck didn’t give a damn about but had to listen to Cal explain in detail while his grandma talked to Miss Martha.
Those toys were gone now. Cal’s room was sparse, just furniture with little decoration except for a quilt Cal’s grandmother had made for him when he was a baby.
“Is it weird to do this here?” Beck asked.
“Yes, but also just right. Do you know how many nights I spent in this bed jerking off to thoughts of you?”
Beck laughed. “I did my share of that in my room at Grandma’s.”
“How did we end up here?”
Beck shook his head. “Don’t think about that. It’s just us in this moment.”
“Yeah.” Cal pulled Beck into his arms for a searing kiss. They groped each other, trying to undress without separating. Finally, Beck pulled back, yanked his shirt over his head, and tossed it on the floor. Then he sank to his knees and looked up at Cal.
“Please,” Cal said, his urgency almost comical.
Beck smiled as he undid Cal’s pants and pulled out his cock, which strained toward him, flushed and hard. Beck bent forward and licked the precome beaded at the tip.
“Mmm.” He swirled his tongue around the head and slid his lips down Cal shaft, swallowing his full length.
Cal gripped the sides of Beck’s
head. He didn’t force Beck down, but Beck could feel him fighting not to. He pulled back to say, “It’s okay. You can fuck my mouth.”
“Oh God, Beck, I…”
“Come on.” Beck sucked him hard, toying with his balls as he did so. A few seconds later, Cal broke, driving deep. Beck gagged at first, but then he relaxed and took it.
“So fucking good.” Cal groaned.
Beck gripped Cal’s thighs as Cal worked himself in and out of Beck’s mouth. Cal’s muscles tensed, and Beck expected him to come any second, but he pushed at Beck’s shoulders and stepped back.
“What? Why?” Beck had been so lost in the moment he could hardly think well enough to form words.
Cal took Beck’s hands and pulled him to his feet. “We always rush into this, but I want to touch you and taste you everywhere before I fuck you. I want to take my time with you for once.”
Beck looked down at Cal’s straining cock. “Then you should’ve let me finish you off.”
Cal shook his head. “Buildup is supposed to make it better.”
“This is just a theory?”
Cal nodded. “I never do this. I just fuck and leave.”
Beck didn’t want to let himself dwell on how Cal’s words made him feel. So he climbed on the bed, reached his arms over his head, and stretched, displaying himself for Cal. “Explore all you want.”
Cal grabbed supplies from his nightstand and settled between Beck’s legs. Then he looked him up and down as if pondering where to start.
“Don’t think too much; just touch me.”
Cal surprised him by lifting his leg and running his tongue along the inside of Beck’s ankle. Then he flicked his tongue against Beck’s arch, making him jump.
“Ticklish?” Cal asked, eyes twinkling.
“Maybe a little.”
He ran his hands up Beck’s calf, massaging as he went. It would’ve been relaxing if Beck’s dick wasn’t straining so hard for attention. Cal licked and nibbled Beck’s inner thigh. When he was almost at his groin, he bit down hard, and Beck cried out. “Fuck!”
Cal sucked at the bite.
“Are you…fucking branding me?”
He sat back and looked at Beck. “Fuck right I am.”
The intensity in his gaze made Beck shiver.
Cal gave the same attention to his other leg, and by the time Cal ran his tongue along the crease between Beck’s leg and his groin, Beck was shifting restlessly, damn near writhing. He did not want to wait anymore.
“Don’t you think that’s enough?”
Cal chuckled. “No, I want to touch every inch of you.”
“But I don’t—”
“You can wait.”
Cal kissed and licked his way over Beck’s abdomen toward his tight nipples, ignoring the inches Beck most wanted him to touch. When Cal sucked on one of his nipples, Beck made a strangled sound and arched up.
“Mmm. You like that.”
“I—”
His words cut off as Cal sucked on the other tight bud and then bit down. “Fuck!”
Cal flicked his tongue back and forth over the hard tip and bit again.
“Cal!” Now he was writhing and whimpering and willing to do anything to get Cal inside him.
Cal kissed his way to Beck’s throat. He nibbled along his collarbone and then up the corded muscles of his neck, while still pinching and twisting Beck’s nipples.
Beck worked his hips, fucking the air. “Need you. Right fucking now.”
“You’ll get me. Just be patient.”
He reached for his cock, desperate for friction, but Cal grabbed his wrist and pushed his arm back over his head. “I’ll get there when I’m good and ready.”
“You better fucking hurry.”
Cal shook his head. “I’m not done with you.”
Cal held his wrists down while he nuzzled into Beck’s armpit and then bit down on the muscles connecting his arm and pecs. Beck gasped. He’d had no idea that could feel so good.
Next, Cal ran his tongue along Beck’s arm and then fluttered it back and forth over the pulse point at his wrist. Finally, he sat back, taking one of Beck’s hands. He sucked each finger in turn, holding Beck’s gaze the entire time.
Beck couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. His head spun, and he was so horny, he thought his dick might go off without even being touched. “You’re killing me.”
Cal grinned. He let Beck’s arm go and nudged his legs farther apart. Scooting backward, he bent down and drew one of Beck’s balls into his mouth.
“Holy fuck!” Beck opened his legs even wider to give Cal better access. Cal toyed with each globe before running his tongue up Beck’s shaft.
“Please,” Beck begged.
Cal held his hips as he sucked, keeping Beck from thrusting into him.
Beck tossed his head back and forth. This was too much. “Cal. I can’t… I need you. Now.”
Mercifully, Cal sat back on his heels and reached for the condom he’d tossed on the bed. Beck started to turn over, but Cal laid a hand on his abdomen.
“Like this. I want to see you.”
Things weren’t going to be the same after this. He was falling for Cal. Hell, he’d already fallen hard, but if he watched Cal’s face as they fucked, as Cal came buried inside him, he wasn’t going to be able to pretend this was casual anymore.
Don’t think about that now.
Right. Enjoy the moment.
Cal rolled on the condom and slicked his cock. Beck hated waiting even those few seconds before Cal brushed Beck’s hole with the tip of his cock.
Beck closed his eyes, enjoying the tease against his sensitive, needy ass. “Fuck me, Cal.”
“Look at me.”
Beck swallowed hard, then met Cal’s gaze.
When Cal pushed in, he gasped and clung to him, wrapping his legs around Cal’s hips. Slowly, Cal worked himself deeper, and then he pulled almost all the way out. He felt fucking amazing, but Beck was so exposed like this, scared he would give all his feelings away. He closed his eyes, needing that shield.
Cal froze partway through his next thrust.
“Watch me, or I’ll stop.”
Beck groaned. “Can’t.”
“Please, I want to see you.”
Beck couldn’t resist that plea. He gazed into Cal’s deep blue eyes, seeing desire there that burned as hot as his own.
Without warning, Cal drove in all the way, and Beck bucked, rising to meet him, wanting to take him as deep as he could go.
Beck clung to Cal’s arms as Cal worked him relentlessly, never once looking away.
“I need you,” Cal said. “Need you here with me.”
“I’m yours, Cal.” Beck’s chest tightened as panic threatened to take hold. Don’t think too hard. Just feel.
Sweat dripped from Cal’s face. He was wild, uncontrolled, and Beck loved it. They slammed against one another, and then Cal changed his angle, making Beck cry out as his next stroke zinged over Beck’s prostate.
Another few strokes like that, and Beck was fighting to hold back. “Close, Cal. So close.”
Cal stroked his cock, pumping him with the same fast rhythm he used on Beck’s ass. In seconds, pleasure so hot it seemed to burn shot through him, and he came, thrusting into Cal’s hand.
“Yessss!” Cal cried out his climax before Beck was done, driving into him in short, harsh jabs.
He collapsed on Beck, and they lay there for several moments, trying to catch their breath. Then Cal pulled out of him, making Beck wince. Wow, they’d gone at it hard.
Cal tossed the condom in his wastebasket and flopped back on the bed. Beck wanted to snuggle up and enjoy the moment, but he wasn’t sure if Cal would accept that. Did the time for closing out the rest of the world end once they both got off? Beck wasn’t sure he could confront reality right then without breaking, so he rolled over and started looking for his pants.
Cal caught his arm. “Stay.”
“I’m glad you have that much stamina, but I�
��m worn out.”
“No, stay the night.”
Beck shifted back onto the bed, turning to face him. “Are you sure? Doesn’t someone come to help with the horses on Sunday morning?”
“Yeah, it’s Rick’s turn this week, but he shouldn’t come to the house. If he does, I’ll just say we’re working.”
“At breakfast, with me wearing the clothes they saw me in yesterday?”
“I don’t fucking care. I need you here.”
The pleading tone in Cal’s voice almost had him convinced, but Beck shook his head. “Cal—”
“Okay, I do, but… Please stay.”
He tugged on Beck, pulling him down. Beck didn’t have the willpower to protest anymore, so he pulled the covers over both of them as Cal spooned against him.
“See how good this feels?” Cal whispered against his ear.
“Yeah, I do.” It felt too good. He would miss it, and Cal, when it all came crashing down.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Beck’s next few weeks were filled with sorting his grandmother’s things, research into the best flowers to plant for blooms in spring, summer, and fall, evening rides, and sex with Cal every chance he got. Cal often stayed the night now or had Beck stay the night with him. When Beck slept at the farmhouse, he stayed in Cal’s room until everyone headed out to the barn or the fields. Then he headed home or out somewhere to sketch. While he still didn’t like it, hiding didn’t feel as bad as before. They were co-conspirators rather than Beck being Cal’s dirty secret, or at least he liked to tell himself that.
After the night they fucked face-to-face, sex became even more intoxicating. But it grew more painful too, because each touch, each orgasm Cal wrenched from Beck was a reminder of how good they were together, and Beck knew this could never last. What was even more damaging to his sanity were the little moments of tenderness, the shy, sweet looks Cal gave him, the way he brushed Beck’s hand with his even when others might be looking. He could feel Cal’s longing, and it was all he could do not to beg Cal to let this all be real.
Down on the Farm (Ames Bridge Book 1) Page 12