I drew a breath and flipped it open.
Dear Phoenix,
Yes, I know who you are. I’ve always known who you are. Strike gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. You see, I belong to him. I am his slave for reasons I won’t get into here. He offered me twelve years to live normal, to have a wife, and to have a family. He would leave me alone for all that time. But then he would come for me at the end of it. I didn’t understand then why he would give me that offer, but I took it. I’d never been free from him, and I doubt I ever will be.
You see, the deal involved you. I was to keep an eye on you, and keep you safe. Strike knew you would be needed if Romano was ever going to be killed—I learned that later. It’s taken me all that time to gather the herbs you see here. Some are so rare that they are nearly extinct. Some don’t exist on the books at all but reside only in lore. That’s what I was doing on all those trips away, hunting them down, finding them piece by piece, putting this together, so we could stop Romano. I thought it would free me from Strike.
Of course, if you’re reading this now, it means you think I’m dead. I’m not. I’m an abnormal who can respawn no matter how I’m killed. I wish sometimes that weren’t the case. I’ve lived a long time, and that time has made me very tired.
I had to stop there and catch my breath. He could respawn? Did that mean he was alive even now? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I’d killed him as Simon and taken his head. Surely no one could have survived that.
Could they?
“What does it say?” Dinah prompted me.
“Let me finish,” I said, then started reading again.
I love you, Nix. With all that I am. And I love our boy. I didn’t think No, I know I couldn’t have loved anyone like I love that boy of ours. I hope he never has to see the dark side of the abnormal world. That’s why I agreed to this, when Strike came to me ten years ago, after Bear was born. He told me that I could keep you both safe if I helped him put together what was needed for the bullet.
I agreed.
He told me that when Romano was dead, I would be set free. But I knew that was a lie. I’m attached to Strike, he is my creator. I believe when Romano dies and Strike is no longer needed on this plane of existence, he will go back to Hell. And I believe I will go with him.
I closed my eyes and took another breath, unable to keep reading straight through. I needed to gather my strength for the rest of it. Slowly, I opened my eyes and read on once more, no prompting from Dinah needed.
I hope you can forgive me for all the lies. I know you likely won’t and that’s okay. I know that I am a coward and a fool for letting myself love you the way I did. Because I know you didn’t love me back the same way, though I think you did the best you could.
Take this box, you only need two more things to complete the spell and create the bullet. You need one of Romano’s ruby rings. And you need a blood-soaked piece of the past. I never understood that part and neither did Strike.
Dinah or Eleanor needs to shoot the bullet at Romano. It will kill him if you hit him between the eyes. Only then will the deal that Bazixal has on him be broken. All the souls of his children will be safe.
I love you, Nix. You and Bear are the only ones I would die for if the time ever came that I could give my life for you.
Justin
I let the paper flutter to the ground. He planted this while we were still married. Since then, I’d cut his head off when he was Simon, and he’d impossibly come back. I’d threatened to kill him, treated him like shit and he’d come back.
But . . . he was right. I never really loved him, not like I loved . . . Killian. And despite his pretty words, I wasn’t sure he’d ever loved me or Bear. I could forgive him for not loving me. I couldn’t forgive him for not fighting for Bear, for not loving our boy enough to go after him.
“What are you going to do?” Dinah asked, her voice filled with concern. I snapped the box shut. I spoke as I lifted the floorboard for the stashed money I had there. I pulled one of the bigger bags out, knowing it held an even million in it.
“I’m not sure yet. But if I ever see him again, I’ll probably see if that respawning deal is real.”
Dinah laughed. “Damn, good. See? You aren’t going soft.”
I clutched the box under one arm, slung the bag over the other, and walked out of the barn, feeling as if I were not truly awake, like this was some sort of strange fever dream.
I walked up to where Killian and Abe stood waiting for me.
Killian took a step and lifted his hand, but didn’t touch me. “Did you get what you needed for Brikoff?”
I gave a sharp nod and handed him the bag of money. “Mostly. We need a ruby ring, one of my father’s or the boys’.” But that wasn’t quite right. “No, we need the original one, the one my father wore.”
The three of us started toward the truck, moving without truly knowing where we were going, but I knew we had to move. Killian was right about that.
“Where to then?” he asked.
My jaw ticked as a thought coursed through me. There was one place I was almost certain that held the ring. Daniel had been looking for something at Vivian’s. Once more my instincts said that was the place to go, to find what it was we were looking for, because she had stolen a trinket from my father. The possibility that it was the ring was high.
The pieces made sense and I nodded to myself. “Seattle. But first we get the bullet as it is from Brikoff. Then we’ll fill it when we have everything together.”
Killian took the driver’s seat without argument and got the truck moving, backing us out of the place that had been the home of my heart, and the seat of so many lies. I shook my head, banishing those thoughts. Forward, I was moving forward because that was where Bear was.
And there was nothing that was going to stop me this time from ending Romano and saving my son.
Not even a guardian from Hell or a husband raised from the dead.
16
Bear
The Grotto was Shaitan’s place of residence, and somehow my grandfather had ousted him and his people when he came to the desert, according to my uncle Tommy anyway.
“The Grotto is protected right now by Strike, the last of my father’s guardians,” Tommy said. “Shaitan can’t take them down because Strike is stronger than him, so at least in terms of that, we don’t have to worry. Cooper here knows the way.”
Cooper—the driver—gave us a nod, but said nothing.
We bumped along in the vehicle on the desert road, with no seatbelts, and only minimal handholds. My mom would not be happy about that.
I gripped the handhold closest to me until my knuckles ached. “Why would that matter to him if he’s immortal? Keeping Shaitan out?”
“That’s the question I’d like to know, kid.” Tommy’s face was grim. “I don’t think he’s immortal. I think it’s a head game to throw us off. Nobody, not even abnormals are immortal. Which means he can be killed. Just like any of us. Which is what I’m going to do with Eleanor here.”
A chill slid through me that I had to fight to keep from shaking my legs. Rooster noticed, though, and gave my shoulder a pat.
“It’s smart to be afraid, Bear. Fear will keep you alive. Sometimes it’s better to run away than to face what’s coming.”
I glanced at him, then turned away. “That’s not what my mom would say.”
“Well, she ain’t here, is she?” he grumbled back, his face dipping into a frown.
There was something in his tone that made me think maybe . . . “Did you know my mom?”
Rooster let out a sigh. “Yeah, I did. What seems like a long time ago. We were . . . friends.”
Friends. “Then why didn’t you let me go in New York? I could have escaped easier. I could have gotten farther away. Why would you help my grandfather?” The words came out fast and louder with each syllable.
He held up his hands in surrender. “You can’t understand, kid. I’m not the person I was then. Okay?”
I twisted away from him, angry. I’d saved his life, healed his broken face, and he’d sworn to help me. But if he’d been my mom’s friend all along, it made no sense as to why he would have helped Romano keep me essentially jailed.
I hunched my shoulders, pretending to fall asleep. After a while, the two men talked in low tones and I listened, storing away their words.
“How exactly are we going to get into the Grotto?” Rooster asked. “Last I checked, it was not circled by fences, men, and guns, but by several abnormals with abilities we do not want to deal with. Like your brother, for instance.”
Tommy snorted. “Danny is off searching for what he believes is Dad’s ring. Dad told him if he couldn’t find it, he couldn’t be considered as the first in line for the throne, as it was. He’s been looking for years.”
“So, we don’t have to worry about the necro then?” Rooster grunted and the leather seat squeaked as he shifted his weight. “That’s something at least.”
“Yeah. The plan is to go in in the early morning, right when the sun rises. He’ll be expecting us at night, not during the day. And he’s shit on the time difference so I’m banking on some jet lag.”
I sat up then, unable to help myself. “Are you sure Luca will be there? How do you know?”
Tommy looked at me and the gun in his hand sniffed, beating him to the punch.
“He doesn’t know, Bear. He’s guessing,” Eleanor said.
My mouth opened wide as I stared at my uncle. “What do you mean he’s guessing? Luca was here with us; he thinks I’m dead. He tried to kill Rooster.”
Rooster shifted uncomfortably as Tommy’s eyes shot to him. “Romano tried to kill you?”
“Shot him,” I said.
Tommy’s eyes narrowed further and then he launched himself at Rooster. Rooster didn’t fight him, just let him slam into his body.
“What are you doing?” I yelled.
“Getting his memories,” Tommy yelled back at me. “He just admitted he isn’t who we think he is, didn’t you?”
Rooster grunted. “I’m not a danger!”
“Pick me up,” came a soft voice, barely heard over the noise. I looked at the seat where Tommy had been. The gun, my mother’s gun, was on the leather seat. “Switch me out with Linx.”
Linx, the tool that could be anything I wanted it to be. “Linx.” I touched the weapon that was still strapped to my chest under my shirt.
“On it.”
The two men wrestled and Tommy was yelling, oblivious to me.
Or to what I was doing.
Everything happened so fast, I didn’t think about why I was listening to a gun, but I did it. I yanked Linx out and he was already a matte-black gun that looked just like the one on the seat. I laid him down and scooped her up, tucking her under my shirt and into the waistband of my pants. Thank God my shirt was big and billowy.
“Good boy,” the gun said softly. “My name is Eleanor. Use me, and I will protect you. I will help you aim.”
The wrestling stopped as suddenly as it started. I twisted around to see Tommy with his hands locked on either side of Rooster’s face. “No fucking way,” Tommy whispered.
“Satisfied now? I’m going to protect the kid no matter what,” Rooster snarled and pushed Tommy away with a big meaty hand.
“You can’t tell him. You can’t.” Tommy’s eyes flicked ever so slightly to me. As if I wouldn’t notice.
“Tell me what?” Fear spiked in me. What was it now? What didn’t I know?
“I know, that part of my life is over. I understand that, as much as I hate it,” Rooster snarled, and he looked almost like . . . like he was going to cry. Which did nothing to help the fear swirling through my body.
“It will be okay,” Eleanor whispered. “It will, child.” Her words shouldn’t have soothed me but they reminded me of my mom, of her certainty in making things happen. My heart rate slowed and eased into a normal pace.
Tommy leaned back in his seat and reached for Linx. He picked the new gun up and tucked it into a holster on his hip. I swallowed hard but he didn’t notice the change in his weapons.
“Rooster is here to keep you safe, kid. Never doubt it,” Tommy said. “I read his memories to make sure he was on the level. And while there are things he didn’t tell us, they don’t matter now. He’s on the up and up.”
Rooster’s jaw ticked with anger, something I’d seen on a few men. But . . . I swallowed hard, my instincts telling me something I didn’t think was possible. “Are . . . you . . . my—”
“No.” Rooster shook his head but he wouldn’t meet my eyes with his own. “Don’t even think it. I’m not him.”
But the thing was, as soon as I thought it, I couldn’t un-think the words even inside my head. The possibility that somehow Rooster was my father. It was ridiculous, impossible, and yet the change in him since I healed his face . . . I’d been unconscious for days. Was it possible to think my dad had switched bodies, or his soul had somehow come into Rooster’s body? With everything I’d seen in the last few months, I felt like it was at least possible.
I bit my lower lip to hold back the questions and the sudden onslaught of tears. Wanting something so badly—like having my dad back—maybe I was making it real when it wasn’t.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Tommy said. “We’re going to make camp about thirty minutes from the Grotto. From there, we’ll go in on foot, walking through the last hours of the night. I have someone on the inside. They’re going to let us in so we won’t have to deal with any of the defenses.”
“What if Luca isn’t there?” I asked. “He could have left already.”
“He was headed this way for a meeting with Shaitan and the desert witch. Unless that’s already happened,” Tommy said with a rueful grin, “which I doubt since I—I mean, we—stirred that ant’s nest, which then means we have time. Romano won’t stick around once the meeting is done.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because he doesn’t like Shaitan and he doesn’t like the heat here. There is something about that desert sheik that even Romano fears.” Tommy shook his head. “I don’t know what or why, but he does. Which should show you just how bad he is.”
The vehicle began to slow and Tommy twisted around. “Here we are, camp.”
Camp turned out to be a pile of large boulders with a few tents in between for cover and protection from the desert wind and sun.
Two other vehicles and about six men waited for us, waving or saluting Tommy when he slid out of the truck and stretched to his full height. Every one of them had some sort of weapon slung over their back. I saw a rocket launcher with one of them. That did not bode well.
Tommy strode away and I watched him go. Rooster dropped a big hand on my shoulder and steered me toward one of the clusters of boulders. Once in the shade of the big rock, he turned me to face him. “You still trust me?”
I thought about it a moment and decided to plunge right into the deep end. “You . . . somehow you’re him, aren’t you?”
I didn’t say the word dad, or father; I didn’t need to. I already knew. I just wanted Rooster to confirm it.
His jaw tightened and he went to one knee in front of me. “Listen to me. I know you have Eleanor.”
My guts twisted, but he shook his head. “No, I’m not going to take her from you. Trust me when I say she will protect you no matter what happens. Tommy does not have everything he needs to kill Romano. I know it, and this is a fool’s errand.”
I knew it.
“The desert witch said I needed to go with Tommy, to see this through,” I said.
Rooster lowered his head so that his chin touched his chest. “I don’t know why she would say that, but . . . damn it, I know she hates Romano. So, she won’t do anything that would help him.”
I thought for a moment. “But it still might get us hurt.”
He lifted his head and nodded. “Yeah, that’s the problem.”
“What do we do?”
I asked softly.
Eleanor cleared her throat. “Tommy is going to be killed by his father. He’ll go to shoot him and he’ll fail. You must know he would have failed if I had been in his hands too. At least this way, Romano won’t have me. That would be very bad.”
“Why?” I whispered the one-word question.
“Because if he figured out who I really was and what I was capable of, then I’m not sure even Phoenix could stop him.” Her words were like stones in my belly as they hit hard with the realization of what she was saying. “No matter what, I cannot come into Romano’s hands.”
“Agreed,” Rooster said softly. “So, we need to go. We need to run away while we can.”
I stared at him, knowing who he was, but seeing him through a different, wiser set of eyes. “We can’t always run, Dad.”
He startled as if I’d smacked him in the face.
“Sometimes running is all you have left,” he bit back at me, then stood and walked away.
There was silence for a moment before I felt Eleanor shift a little, gaining my attention. I put a hand over her. “Eleanor?”
“I think you’re right to stay. Your mother will be coming for you, and for Romano. If you are together, you can help her. I can help her. If you run away . . .”
“Then she’ll be on her own.” I shook my head. “I won’t run from her. Not like him.” I tipped my head toward Rooster.
She sighed. “You have her heart. Fierce like a lion.”
A little trickle of warmth slid through me. “Thank you.”
“Bear, I . . . I am glad to get to know you. At least, a little. Your mother spoke highly of you always. About how much she loved you. And when she thought you were dead . . . I wasn’t sure she would ever come back from that grief.”
Rise of a Phoenix (The Nix Series Book 3) Page 16