Something slunk across the path, its yellow eyes shining like headlights in the dark, and I jumped. The feral cat only came closer and rubbed against my cotton pants. “Fabulous. Now a black cat has crossed my path.”
I checked the wall. No Deni.
Maybe he made it back to his dorm, then? Maybe I’d see him in the morning.
I was starting to head back when a stroke, gentle as a feather, breezed across my shoulder blades. I whirled around and found myself face to chest with Deni.
“Holy crap. You scared me to death. Where have you been?”
He didn’t say anything but instead ran his fingers down my arm, reached for my hand, and whispered, “Must be quiet.”
He pulled me toward the wall, but instead of sitting on it, he hopped over and headed down the grassy slope toward the river where the street kids hung out. I followed him. His face wasn’t angry anymore—it was determined. He squeezed my fingers tight, and relief flooded my chest. If he was holding my hand, he wasn’t mad at me.
Needing to fill the silence, I tried to be positive. “It’s going to be okay, Deni. I mean…maybe the person will call back and leave their name and the owner will change his mind and let you go? If he doesn’t, we’ll figure out something else?”
He didn’t say anything, just kept pulling me toward the river.
When we got to the place where the street kids fished for cans, he let go of my hand and gestured for me to sit.
“What’s going on?” I whispered. “Where were you all day?”
He licked his bottom lip and my stomach leapt.
Was he about to break my heart, tell me he never wanted to see me again? Or was he about to kiss me? I had no clue. I braced myself for whatever it was he wanted to say.
“I was with friends,” he said, “looking for money.”
“Money?”
“I’m going to Aceh.”
My mouth dropped open. “My dad said Bapak won’t allow it.”
He shrugged. “I care not what Bapak says. I will find a way.”
“What if you go and can’t find your father?” I asked. “Will Bapak let you come back and finish school?”
A frown shadowed his face. “He says if I go, I leave for good. I give up my place here.”
“That’s not fair.”
He clenched his fist. “The owner is not a fair man. This you know.”
I nodded and leaned closer to him, needing to feel his body heat one more time if this was all we had left. “When will you go?”
“Tomorrow,” he said quietly. “I go tomorrow.” He reached for my hand and held it tight. “I am sorry to leave you when only we have just begun to meet,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion.
My throat ached. I wasn’t ready for him to leave, either. My lips found his, and he dragged me into his arms. Our kiss, long and soft, felt full of everything I wanted to say, everything I felt, everything I wished we had time to do. So many things.
No.
This wasn’t over yet. I wouldn’t let it be.
I broke away and traced the hard line of his jaw with my finger. “If you go,” I said, “I’m coming with you.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“You cannot come. Aceh is too dangerous,” Deni argued in the misty moonlight. “And the bus ride will be so long. You, rambut kuning, will not like the long, bumpy bus. It is not like the motor.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Okay, so we’ll fly.”
“Fly?”
“Yes, fly, on an airplane. You need money, right? I have money. I have my own credit card and travelers’ checks. A flight would only take a few hours, versus a few days on a bus.” I grabbed his shoulders and stared him in the eyes. “Please, Deni, let me come with you—I’ll help you look for your father, and I’ll fly back before it’s time to go home. No problem.”
I surprised myself with my confidence, but I meant it. I wasn’t leaving until I helped him, or tried as hard as I could. I hadn’t exhausted the options, by a long shot.
And then we were busted.
A bright beam of light blinded me first. I buried my face in Deni’s neck to escape the glare.
“Sienna?”
Oh no.
“Deni? What are you two doing out here in the dark?”
Deni didn’t move. He kept his arms tight around my waist. “Good night, Doctor.”
Did he just tell my dad to leave? My mouth dropped open. Holy crap.
Also…holy hot.
Dad ignored him and shined his flashlight out toward the river as if searching for an answer. It was the first time I noticed the group of street kids sleeping on ratty blankets.
“Don’t shine the light on them,” I told Dad, feeling protective. I reached out and pushed his flashlight down, creating a milky circle on the grass.
Dad frowned. “Do you have any idea how much trouble we could all get into if the owner caught you together? Not only would Deni be thrown out of school, but also our reputation as a group would be tarnished. What are you thinking, Sienna?”
“We aren’t doing anything.”
He gave me a stern look. “This isn’t summer camp, and Deni isn’t Spider. This is not allowed.”
Deni isn’t Spider? Why’d he have to say that?
“Doctor Andy,” Deni said, “Sienna and I are friends.”
Dad eyed Deni’s arms still wrapped around me. “From the look of it, you’re more than friends.”
Deni didn’t budge. “So? I am a man. Sienna is a woman.”
“She is a seventeen-year-old girl. A teenager! And my daughter,” he said, as if that was the most important thing. He turned back to me. “You know the rules. No boys and girls alone without supervision. I’m really disappointed in you. Now may I please speak to you? Alone?”
With “awkward” swarming around me, Deni stood up and walked toward the end of the wall to give us some privacy. I didn’t want him to go, but I didn’t want him to face the wrath of Dad, either.
“What’s going on with you, honey? Is this thing about Deni’s father bringing back memories of your mom?”
Geez. Don’t mince words, Dad.
“Maybe. No. I don’t know. I just want to help him. And I don’t get why you won’t.”
“That doesn’t give you permission to break the rules.” He gestured to the darkness. To Deni.
“There’s more to it than you think. What you’re doing… It’s frowned upon in their culture. You can’t come here and act like this.”
“Act like what? A girl who likes a boy?”
He sighed. “Yes.”
“Well, I’m sorry to be a disappointment,” I snapped. “You know, Dad, I thought you were different. But now you’re acting just like Bapak.”
Deni stalked back over to us. “I’ll walk you back to your room, Sienna. Your father is right. It is late.”
“I will walk her,” Dad said, stepping between Deni and me.
They glared at each other for a long, tension-filled moment.
Finally, seconds before I shouted that I’d walk my own self back, thank you very much, Deni nodded. “I am sorry to have caused you so much upset.” He stretched out his hand to Dad, who took it halfheartedly. “I will go, then. Sienna, good night.”
I watched his silhouette limp toward the dorms.
“Sit down,” Dad said once Deni was out of earshot. The anger had left his voice and was replaced by concern. “Look, I know when you’re away from home, things feel different. It’s easy to lose yourself in the experience, and that’s part of the experience. But remember, kiddo, this is real. The relationships you make here are real. They’ll affect your life now and once you’re back home. And remember, we’re on a plane home in less than a week.”
“I know it’s all real, Dad. I’m not a little kid. I know what I’m doing.”
Then I was suddenly livid. Who was Dad lecturing me about responsible relationship choices?
“And what about you, huh? You and Vera? Don’t think I haven’t
noticed all your flirting. You guys work together! How unprofessional is that?”
Dad’s face collapsed in the moonlight. Looked like someone else was caught, too.
“Vera has nothing to do with this,” he said after a long, heavy moment.
“I’m just saying,” I snapped, “don’t be a hypocrite.”
“Honey, your feelings might be real, but realistically, what is the use of you getting so attached to someone you’ll never see again?”
“What’s the point of wearing your wedding ring if you aren’t going to be loyal to your wife?”
I barely managed not to slap my hands over my mouth. I couldn’t believe I’d said the words, but there they were, like thorns piercing skin.
Dad’s eyes flashed with anger. “If you want to discuss your mother or Vera, we can do that at another time. Tonight we are discussing you and one of the orphans we came here to help.”
A frustrated tear ran down my cheek. “I am helping them.”
“I don’t want to argue with you, Sienna,” he said, his voice relaxing, “but I mean it about Deni. If you’re not going to do it for yourself or for me, do it for him. Break things off before he gets too attached.” He sighed. “Honey, listen, I understand you feel close to him, and judging from the way he looks at you, I’m sure he thinks you’re special, too. But I’ve heard his stories, and I’m willing to bet you don’t know everything about that boy. Believe me, kiddo, he’s already lost way too much.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Deni and I are together in our alley kissing against the wall when we’re ambushed. Dozens of police flashlights blind us. We’re trapped, and now rocks are being thrown at us, leaving bruises the size of grapefruits. I grab Deni’s hand and we tumble over a barbed-wire fence. We make it to the other side, cut and bleeding, but I don’t feel pain. We run through city streets toward the seashore. They’re at our heels. We know if they catch us, they’ll kill us, or worse.
Finally, the ocean lies before us.
There are no stars in the sky.
There is no moon.
They draw closer and closer until we have no choice.
Clutching hands, we dive into the black sea, together.
Deni and I avoided each other like the plague all day. Dad watched over me so closely that I didn’t even dare try to catch Deni’s eye. I taught art, participated in teen group, and ate my meals, where I made polite conversation with Team Hope.
Dad couldn’t suspect anything more than he already did.
Finally, with the smallest flick of eye contact toward the river, Deni seemed to ask, You, me, by the river?
Nodding slightly in his direction, careful not to be too obvious, I accepted.
We’d meet there after dark.
Saying good night to Team Hope at dusk, I headed back to my room. When Dad hugged me and whispered in my ear that he was proud of me and my good decision, I felt guilty about lying, but didn’t change my mind.
One of the street kids stood up in the moonlight and walked on top of the concrete wall next to the river, holding thin arms out to the side like he was crossing a balance beam.
“He will fall,” Deni predicted.
I watched the boy. He was about thirteen years old, his face full of anxious determination. “Maybe not.”
Deni pointed knowingly. “Watch.”
Sure enough, the boy lost his balance halfway across and slipped. Grabbing hold of the cement wall just before he fell feet first into the mucky river, he awkwardly scraped himself back over the wall.
“How did you know he wouldn’t make it?” I asked.
“Some people do not learn from their mistakes. That boy is not smart. The wall is still too slippery, and he is too unbalanced. He tries every night, still. Every night he fails. He should give up trying.”
He was telling me something. Something I should get.
“Deni…”
He held his hand up, stopping my words. “You come here like an American angel hoping to rescue me. Sienna, I cannot be rescued.”
And then I know he’s talking about me going with him to Aceh.
The scrawny street kid, defeated, picked up a handful of pebbles and chucked them into the water, dragging on his cigarette silently.
“He will get up and try again,” Deni said.
I should try again.
“Deni,” I said, a push in my voice, “please listen to me. I’m not trying to rescue you. It’s obvious you can take care of yourself. I want to see where you lived, where all of this happened.”
“You heard your father. I don’t want any trouble for you.”
“It’s my decision. You have to take risks for people you love.” I sucked back in the word as soon as it came out, but not before his eyes went wide. “Well, you know, people you care about.”
Deni reached over and took my hand. The boys across the street huddled together. The boy who fell looked happier now that he joined his friends. They spoke to him, one ruffled his hair. They laughed.
When I finally got up the nerve to look at Deni, his eyes told me more than his words. “I do not want you to get hurt,” he said.
But the way he was looking at me also told me he understood that it was too late to say no. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. “If we’re together, I won’t get hurt.”
“An Indonesian orphan and a rambut kuning from America. What kind of trouble may find us,” he said ironically, which made me laugh. “We are, what do you say? Crazy.”
I smiled. “We’ll go tomorrow, then?”
“We go tomorrow.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
We’re naked except for my hair, which is wrapped in a lime green hijab. We’re lying together in what I know is our home: a grass hut on the edge of an aquamarine sea. Our bed is soft feathers and banana leaves.
He unwraps the hijab, letting my hair fall across his chest.
He strokes my cheek.
Everything smells like warm lavender: the tropical air, Deni’s skin, even the banana leaves we lie on.
Suddenly we hear a lion roar and water pours through every crack in the hut and rises fast.
We are thrown together, tossing and spinning, trapped in a saltwater whirlpool. We search for air. Finally, when I feel my body growing limp, a giant hand reaches down into the eye of the watery tornado.
She pulls us out.
She rescues us.
The plan was to pack and sneak out of the pesantren before anyone figured anything out. At dinner, I announced, “Is it okay if I roam around and take some pictures of the sunset this evening?”
“Sure,” Dad said, quicker than I anticipated. “You can move your stuff into Vera’s dorm first.”
“Wait. What?”
“You’re moving into my dorm tonight. Nada is moving into your bed. She feels perfectly comfortable and wants to try it alone. The transition, like we talked about.”
Into Vera’s dorm? Our timing to get out of town couldn’t be more perfect.
Dad avoided my eyes, which was fine, because I avoided his.
“We think it’s better for you to bunk with an adult.”
As in, he still didn’t trust me.
Before I could get too upset—even if they had a point—guilt slammed into me. Here I was worrying about myself. What about Elli and the other little girls? If I was in Vera’s dorm, I’d no longer be there to see them wake up in the morning. I’d no longer be there tuck them in at night. Then I realized how ridiculous I was being. We were leaving in a couple of days anyway. I was already going to miss them. At least I’d know they were being taken care of, and they’d have more time to adjust to Nada, who was here to stay.
So, yes. This was better for them. But for me… If I was supposed to be in Vera’s dorm that night, Team Hope would know I was gone a lot earlier than I’d planned. Maybe even early enough to stop Deni and me from leaving.
Under the table, I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. Did they somehow know I was planni
ng on sneaking out? Under Vera’s watchful eye I’d no longer be able to duck out to see Deni at the river, or ride his motor through the hot, crowded streets.
Essentially, our time together at the orphanage was over. My guilt over leaving shifted into quiet desperation. We had to leave. And we had to leave tonight.
“Just move your stuff over whenever,” Vera said cheerfully. “It will be fun. Like a slumber party!”
She did not just say that.
“Sure. Okay.”
Everything except my backpack. That stayed with me.
It’s not like I could haul a whole suitcase to Aceh anyway.
Dad looked relieved that I didn’t make a scene. “And honey, I’m not trying to make you upset, but do us all a favor and stop encouraging Deni to find his father.”
“Why?”
“It’s healthier for him focus on the present and build toward a new future rather than chase ghosts of his past.” When I tried to protest, he held up his hand. “Sienna, the chances of him reconnecting with his dad are incredibly small.” He held my eyes. “I think deep down you know that.”
Maybe. But we had to try. I should’ve tried. We should’ve looked for Mom harder, longer. We owed her that. And I owed Deni this. Deni, who was helping chase away my nightmares, who held me in the rain. I owed him this.
“Sienna?” Vera pressed.
“I hear you,” I said. I didn’t agree, but I heard them. “I’ll set up my bunk in your room, but don’t expect me until much later.” Much, much later.
She nodded. I saw them both through my camera lens: Vera with her skunk-striped hair pulled back in a tight bun, Dad with his tired eyes.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I’d never lied to my dad before. Not about something so big. But I knew in my gut I had to go.
I decided to take a photo of the two of them, ending on a good note, just in case.
“Say fondue,” I said.
They leaned in together, foreheads touching. “Brie,” they said together, and laughed.
Click.
Chapter Twenty-Six
As promised, I found Deni waiting for me on the other side of the gate, leaning against the motor with a woven bag slung loosely over his shoulder. He had on the outfit he wore when we went out to dinner. I wore a clean shirt, my least-wrinkled pants, tennis shoes, and a hat. We’d talked about blending in, and sure enough, we looked like travelers.
Where I Found You Page 16