“It’s not lopsided.”
“Sure is. That and those braless tits were the first things I noticed about you.”
Kathleen figured worse things could have caught his notice, so she didn’t argue with him. And if he liked her skewed smile, it was a good thing, no matter how much it used to bother her when she was in her teens.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I Don’t?
o0o
MACE WOKE UP IN the middle of the night, and when he turned over to pull Kathleen closer, he realized she wasn’t there. That had happened a lot the last month, and he knew exactly where to find her, so he got out of bed and walked into her office.
She’d once mentioned that when she worked on one of her ideas, her office was full of pictures, articles, and books. He’d tried to imagine it, but whatever he’d thought, it was nothing like how it looked now. It was slammed; the walls were covered, and she had strings from one picture to another. He had no idea what the strings were for; she’d mentioned something about ‘flow,’ but he didn’t get it. The wall behind her desk had six squares done with marking tape, and each one had a big picture of a girl or a woman along with other pictures, post-its, and notes. Five of the women were immigrants from different countries that had been murdered while living in the US. The sixth was a woman from California who’d been killed by her ex-husband.
There had been an addition made on the wall since the last time he was in there, though. At the top of the squares, almost by the ceiling, there was a paper with the word ‘Aberu’ on it.
“Hey,” he said and put his hands on her shoulders, giving the top of her head a kiss. “What does that mean?”
“Aberu?”
“Yeah.”
“Very simply put, it’s a concept of honor, and about keeping face, family secrets, and the right to be known and viewed in a certain way. It’s more complicated than that, but shortly put, it’s honor.”
“Never heard it before. Who uses it?”
“It’s from Persian culture, mostly, but they mainly differ from us because they have a word for it. It’s the same everywhere, but I’m not using it in the article—it’s just for me. I just liked to have a word for it.” She tilted her head back to look at him. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“I thought I wore you out. I’ll try harder tomorrow. So what’s with aberu?”
“I’m using the concept of honor as the red thread through the article series. The perception of honor in different cultures and how it’s used to oppress women. How it’s something that’s carried by women and protected by men, and when girls do something to stain that honor, men take it upon themselves to punish them to maintain their own honor.”
He looked up at the wall and the pictures of the women and girls she had there. “So that’s what you think happened to these women? They were killed because of honor.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s because of honor. It’s because of how the men close to them perceived honor and their woman as their property. There’s a difference between actual honor and what some consider honor. Personally, I have a hard time seeing how reclaiming honor somehow involves beating a woman to death.”
Mace had a feeling he was walking into a verbal minefield. They had hardly ever talked about the club, and he’d never suggested she take his ink, but he wanted it. To the rest of the club, she was his woman, but on the other hand, her honor was on him. If she fucked up, he paid the price. He’d never thought of it as something that was opposed to the rest of the world. Obviously, there was more than one guy in the Marauders who had taken out whatever pain they’d suffer on their women, and Bull had most definitely taken out his anger on his ex-wife when she cheated on him. Kathleen knew these things, not about Bull, but how women often were treated, but at least she didn’t seem to think that was specific to the biker culture—which he assumed it wasn’t.
He also remembered something Anna, Mitch’s old lady, had said after being kidnapped and beaten up—that women paid the price for men’s deeds. The thought of Kathleen being hurt made his stomach churn, and he tilted her head back and gave her a kiss.
“I love you,” he said. “And I’m not gonna make you carry my honor.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m kind of carrying yours, though.”
“How?”
“What you do is on me in the club.”
She swung her chair around and studied him. “Why?”
“I brought you into the family, so if you hurt the club, I’m paying the price.”
She stood up and circled his waist. “Does that include teaching the president’s daughter about feminism?”
“No,” he laughed. “Big things. The bitch business isn’t club business.”
“Not sure I like the expression ‘bitch business,’” she mumbled. “But I like what you said.”
“What?”
“That you’re not gonna make me carry your honor.” She pulled him down and gave him a kiss. “And I like when you come and visit me in the office naked.”
“I can do that at the G.O. too, if you want.”
“No.”
“Okay. Want me to leave you alone or are you coming back to bed with me? I’ll let you suck my dick.”
“That’s a very nice offer,” she smiled and her hand slipped from behind his back to his front. When she gently squeezed the root of his dick, he closed his eyes. “Sure I can’t just get down on my knees and do it here?”
“Honestly, you’re free to suck my dick whenever you want. Can’t think of a single situation were I’d deny you that. It’s all yours.”
She kissed a wet trail down his chest and stomach as she got down on her knees.
“I got a question,” she said after the first long lick along his member.
“Really?” he chuckled. “Now? How’s that fair?”
“I think you’ll like it. How about we make sure we’re clean, and we drop the condoms? This having condoms all around the house is becoming a pain in the ass.”
Early on, a lot of the spontaneous fucks had been interrupted because he didn’t have a condom on him, so they’d gotten into the habit of having condoms spread around the house, but obviously they never had one where they were about to get going. Using condoms had never been much of an issue for Mace. With the exception of a few drunken mistakes, he’d always used one, and Kathleen was the same, so it was almost a habit to both of them. He knew she had an IUD, he’d felt the strings inside of her and had asked what it was, but that had been one of the first times they’d fucked. It had come up once again when he asked why she never had a period. That had in no way been to complain, he was fucking thrilled she didn’t, but even he knew it was a bit odd. Apparently that was because of the IUD, so Mace was a big fan of it. Especially now, since he knew that even without a condom, he couldn’t knock her up.
“When’s the last time you got tested?” he asked.
“July.”
That was after they’d broken up.
“Been with anyone else since then?” He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the answer to that question, but he had to ask.
“No,” she smiled. “You telling me you got tested recently?”
“I wanted to be prepared. Trust me?”
She stood up with a wide smile on her lips. “Absolutely.”
“You’re not gonna suck my dick now, are you?”
“Absolutely not.”
That was a bummer because he liked blowjobs, but if he was honest with himself, he could wait for one if it meant fucking her without a condom.
He pulled off her tank top, and she quickly skimmed out of her panties.
“Bed,” she mumbled after jumping up and latching her legs around his waist.
“You’re putting a lot of trust in me here, babe,” he said but started walking. He stroked his fingers along her slit, and she was already wet. “Expecting me to walk when we’re both naked, and I’ve got my dick this close to your pussy.”
Just as he passed the
kitchen, Kathleen moved, and he felt her grazing his dick.
“Fuck this,” he muttered and put her down on the kitchen island just before slamming inside of her. Then he stopped and stared at her. “Oh, fucking hell.”
“Shit,” she groaned at the same time.
It felt fantastic—absolutely fucking amazing. She sat up with her legs still around him, and her hands came up to hold his face. They stared into each other’s eyes.
“I love you,” she said. “And you don’t have to worry.”
Mace was still trying to get control of himself and was completely lost in how she felt. His arms were trembling where he was leaning on the counter, and he only had very basic understanding of what she’d just said.
“About what?” he asked.
“I’m not letting this go. I’m not letting you go. This is for the long run.”
He collected himself, and after a long exhale he looked at her. He had been worried about it, what it meant that she’d found her mojo again, but he didn’t want to push. He knew she would decide whatever she decided anyway, but he also knew that when she said something, she fucking meant it. His hotshot was a straight shooter. He’d never mentioned being worried, but he wasn’t surprised she’d known.
“I love you, Kathleen.” He pushed inside her again with a deep, hearty groan. “Fuck. Why the fuck did we wait so long with this?”
“I don’t know,” she panted. “Harder.”
Holy fucking hell, he loved hearing her say that. If he was close, sometimes it was all he needed. Her asking him to fuck her harder. Or when she said ‘more,’ like she couldn’t get enough of him, and he knew that feeling. He wanted more of her all the time, and it still felt like it would never be enough. She’d let him in, and he was fucking staying there.
o0o
“I think I’m done,” she said just a few days later, when she came out of the office. “What’s this?” she asked.
“Oh, um, your couch was pretty shit. I thought…” Maybe he should’ve asked her before he brought a huge, dark gray, corner sofa to her house. “It was too short. I couldn’t lie down on it.”
“When did you do this?” she asked.
“About two hours ago. Sisco helped me.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t hear it you guys. You’re usually pretty loud. Or that Sisco stopped by and didn’t say hi to me.” She sat down next to him. “Should I worry about that?”
“No. I told him to leave you alone.”
“Comfy,” she said and moved closer.
“You can get a new one later. It’s just… It was Brick and Mel’s. They bought a new one, and I’d complained about your couch.”
“I like this. It’s big.”
It was a corner sofa with a chaise, and the only reason he knew what it was called was that Mel had told him and had sighed when he, most likely, looked like a moron. He liked the chaise, though. It was almost like a bed, and he’d already planned on all the ways he could fuck Kathleen on it—that was if she didn’t go ballistic over him bringing furniture to her house. So far it seemed okay, though.
“Yeah?” he asked.
“It’s nice. Looks almost new. Why did they buy a new one?”
“Mel likes to redecorate now and then.”
“Maybe we’ll get a sofa table next,” she smiled.
“I’ll ask them. So this is okay?”
“Sure. It’s a nice, free sofa, why would I complain?”
He chuckled and gave her a kiss. “You said you were done?”
“Yeah, the article. I think I’m done. At least as done as I can be from here. I’m going to some of the towns for the final interviews, and then to D.C. to meet with my boss.” She scooted closer to him. “Really nice sofa. Thank you.”
She’d told him she wasn’t letting him go, that he didn’t need to worry, but he was still… wondering if she’d really be okay with staying in Greenville. She’d been lost in her writing for weeks, and when she wasn’t working at the Observer, she was off to one library or another, or just in her office. She worked around the clock, and when she wasn’t working, she talked about what she was writing. And he liked it. He’d asked her how long she’d be like this, and she’d admitted it could last for a couple of months, which seemed okay. She’d already done some trips for interviews, and it was always pretty fucking great when she got back home. He hoped that would be enough for her, trips for things, but that she’d keep coming back to him.
“So, what now?”
“I’ll talk to my boss. Like I’ve said, I’m done with politics, and I really liked writing like this long article, so I was hoping he’d let me work on one of the company’s monthly magazines… Or something. I’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah,” he smiled. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“I know.”
“Just thought I should remind you.”
She’d forgotten the last time he’d gone away with the club, and she’d called him in the middle of the night to ask him where he was. As much as he’d laughed about it, he fucking loved that she’d called about it, like he was supposed to be with her.
“One time,” she objected. “I forgot one time.”
“I have a feeling it’ll happen again. Bull asked what you were writing on, by the way. Think he was a bit disappointed about your choice of subject.”
“Bull?”
“Big shaved guy. He was at the dinner.”
“He reads my stuff?”
“Has been for years. He’s a fan.”
“He barely said two words to me.”
“Give it a year or ten, then he’ll come around.” He pushed her to her back. “How about we test this sofa and give me something to think about when I jack off while I’m in Emporia?”
Sex had always been the least of their problems, it had always been so fucking good, but since they’d laid off condoms it had gotten even better. It was another way of getting closer to her.
“You are just full of brilliant ideas today.”
o0o
Mace had passed out on the couch in the Emporia clubhouse, and he was way too fucking old for that. He’d noticed that when he wasn’t fucking sweetbutts, he was drinking more. Before Kathleen, he’d usually pulled a girl from the bar to his room long before midnight, but these days he stayed in the bar, which meant he kept drinking. He’d been waiting for Kathleen to comment on it, but it didn’t seem to bother her. Neither did the beer in her fridge or the whiskey in her freezer. He was sure it would be different if she thought he had a problem with the drinking. Even if he was drinking more while he was at the clubhouse, he wasn’t at the clubhouse as much anymore, so all in all, he was probably drinking less than he had before.
He moved over to the bar, where one of the Emporia hang-arounds had made coffee. His phone rang and he picked it up.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been calling all night. Where are you?”
“Emporia. I told you. Fucking hell, Kathleen!”
“I’m kidding. Jesus! Are you hung over? You’re not usually this slow—or pesky.”
“I’m not pesky, but yes, I’m hung over as fuck,” he admitted. “I take it you’re already at work and have written five articles?”
He wanted to keep her talking; her low, controlled, dark voice was like fucking balm to his head when it hurt.
“Just two. That’s not why I called. I talked to my boss in D.C. yesterday evening, and I’m going there the day after tomorrow, around noon.”
“I’m won’t be home before that.”
“I know, but I’ll be back in a couple of days.”
“Sure?” he asked, and it was meant as a joke, but at the same time he needed to be reassured. He was hung over, his body was hurting, there were most likely shitloads of trouble coming in the club, and at the moment the one thing he had to look forward to was Kathleen. “I need to hear it, baby,” he added when she kept quiet.
“I’ll leave the painting.”
“I’m holding it hostage.�
��
“You’ll be here, too, you know.”
“Whatta you mean?”
“That I actually care more about you than the painting. You’re way too hung over to manage a conversation right now. If you stay sober, give me a call.”
“I’m having my coffee now, I’ll call you in half an hour or so.”
“I’m on my way to a press conference at city hall, so wait at least an hour.”
“They have press conferences at city hall?”
“Drink your coffee and call me later,” she laughed.
“I love you.”
“Okay.”
“You have to say it back.” He usually didn’t push about that, he preferred her saying it when she felt it, but he kind of needed to hear it. Also, she hated saying it while she was at work. And as suspected, that was what she pointed out.
“I’m at work,” she whispered. She wasn’t much for touchy-feely stuff in public, and he’d asked her about it. According to her, she had to seem professional and able to be objective. He thought it was complete bullshit, it was just one of her issues, so he kept pushing her a little whenever he got a shot and she was in a good enough mood to take it.
“I know. That’s why I want you to say it back,” he laughed. “Chicken shit,” he tried when she stayed silent.
“Iloveyou,” she whispered really quickly.
“Fucking hell, sometimes you’re like a teenage boy.”
“Call me later.”
She hung up, and Mace laughed to himself.
The club had made a decision on what clubs to patch over, and Mace had a feeling things might stop being as calm as they had been so far. Once the clubs had settled in and the Dutch Ghouls reached an agreement with the cartel, things were going to take off. He knew Kathleen could take care of herself, but he was still worried. And he knew he needed to inform her about what was going on, and pretty fucking soon, to make sure she knew what to look for. He wasn’t overly worried about it. She knew what they were about, and it would more be in line of confirming her suspicions.
o0o
Kathleen had been really busy while she was in D.C., and they’d barely talked to each other. Instead of the expected two or three days, she’d been there for five days. The longest conversation between them had been when she’d asked him to pick her up at Sky Harbor in Phoenix.
Speed of Light (Marauders #3.5) Page 17