“What?” she asked, and with an eye on her watch, she realized she hadn’t been asleep more than twenty minutes.
“Her breathing…” he started. “It’s…”
It was gasps. Short, shallow gasps, and Kathleen assumed that meant it was close. Victor stood up, too, and the two brothers moved over to sit next to the bed.
“Fuck,” Mace muttered, and Kathleen stood behind him. She put a hand on his shoulder and he grabbed it. “Ma?”
Then they stopped. Just like that. No last minute opening of the eyes, no big last word, not even a gurgle. It was just over. Kathleen leaned down and put her arms around him from behind.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He stood up, turned around, pulled her closer, and that was when she felt the first sob rip through his body.
o0o
One week later, Mace had left for the reading of the last will and testament. Kathleen had offered to wait for him outside, but he’d told her it wasn’t necessary. Pam had asked that it should only be the two brothers present. It was the first time since the hospice they’d been separated, but she had to leave for New York two days later. She’d put it off as long as possible and had done as much work as she could from home, so she needed to go, and she needed to bring her research material—which meant she had to empty her walls.
It was always a funny feeling when she started to empty the walls after finishing a story. She missed it while at the same time being extremely fed up with it. The only thing she left was the note with the word ‘aberu’ on it. She tended to keep one thing on the wall to remind her of the article. This one was special. It wasn’t just a reminder of the article, but also that even if things looked like shit, there was a way out. Just in case she was blackballed again.
“Hey… Wow!”
“Hi,” she said to Mace who was staring at her walls.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m done with it. I need to bring it with me, and this way I’m making room for a few other ideas I’ve had.”
“Thought you were packing up.”
“Still scared I’ll take off?”
“Should I be?”
“I’ll take off, but I’ll keep coming back.”
“That sounds acceptable.” He leaned down and gave her a kiss. “Mom had something for you. Or… she did one of those butting in things, which meant giving something to you. Should’ve known she’d do her best to have the last word on my life.”
“That’s not at all unclear or weird.”
He dug into his pocket and held something up two inches from her face. When she’d focused her eyes, she was staring at a gold ring with a diamond in it.
“She bought an engagement ring for me?”
“No. This is her ring,” he said with a tired voice dripping with sarcasm. “And she said she gave it to me because, and I quote, ‘you’ll never get your fingers out of your ass if I don’t.’”
Kathleen couldn’t stop the laughter, and soon Mace joined in. They laughed until they were sitting on the floor, leaning against the now empty wall.
“You should be careful,” she said. “She might have more things coming, like letters once a year with orders on how to treat me.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Mace said and looked at the ring between his fingers. “You made an impression.”
“I don’t need a ring to stay. I’m not that kind of a woman.” Kathleen moved to straddle him. “But I am yours if you’ll have me.”
He pulled down the front of her tank top and gave her nipple a lick. “I need you.” He held up the ring. “It’s yours if you want it.”
“That could be the shittiest marriage proposal ever.”
“Trust a crazy feminist to want a man on his knees in front of her.”
She laughed and tried to get up, but he pulled her back onto his lap.
“I’m not asking you now, because I don’t think you really want it, and I don’t want you to say yes just because I’m asking you, but I’m letting you know that it’s yours when you want it. Catch my drift?”
That was when she realized something, and she started laughing.
“Okay, now you’re laughing at me, for saying I want to marry you.”
“No. I just… If we get married…” she kept giggling. “I just pictured introducing you to my parents. Or just sending them a wedding picture.”
“That could be interesting.”
“It would also make it worth it.”
“I’ll take you however I can, Hotshot,” he laughed.
“You already have me.” She took the ring from his fingers and held it up in front of his face. “This doesn’t make me more or less yours.”
“Maybe not in your eyes, but to others’ it does—and mine.”
Kathleen gave him a kiss. “I’ll let you know.” She looked at the ring. “I like the ring, though.”
“Not bothered that it’s my mother’s?”
“No. I’m honored. She was a remarkable woman.”
“Probably why she wanted another remarkable woman to have it.”
“You are so smooth,” Kathleen smiled. “Like olive oil.”
He sat quietly and just studied her. “Thanks. I know I messed up your plans, and I know why you did it, and that you don’t really want me to thank you for it, but it meant a lot to me to have you here.”
“You’re right, I didn’t want a thank you for it, but the rest was beautiful.” She leaned down and kissed him.
“So,” he said and pointed at the empty walls. “When you’re done with this, what’s your next idea?”
“Rape and HIV as weapons of war.”
“Do I even wanna know where you’ll travel for that?”
“No.”
“I’m keeping the painting here.”
EPILOGUE
We’re Okay
o0o
SO MUCH FOR A cheerful fucking Christmas next year, Mace thought to himself while he was standing at the airport waiting for Kathleen. Although there was still a slight shot, since it was Christmas Eve and they were usually done with their fights pretty quickly. Because he could smell a fight coming, and he’d known it since she’d called him and told him she was on her way back home, just before dropping the bomb that she’d been shot at.
Someone had shot at his old lady.
He might’ve been in a slightly better mood if she’d sounded at least a little upset or agitated about it, but she hadn’t. She’d just informed him in her usual calm voice and had said that she was coming back for a few months to let things calm down before she went back. She was planning on going back. Stupid fucking crazy feminist rich bitch!
When he saw her coming with her huge backpack and big bag slung over her shoulder he exhaled. She looked okay—tired, but okay.
She halted a few feet from him, studied him, and then shook her head.
“Are we gonna fight?”
He pulled her in, and with a firm grip of her hair, he gave her a deep kiss before leaning his forehead against hers.
“You bet that hot fucking ass of yours that we’re going to fight, you crazy fucking bitch, but right now I just need to know you’re okay.”
“I’m okay, Mace. I’m tired, dirty, and my back and ass hurt after the flight, but besides that, I’m fine.”
He felt better now that he’d seen her, but he’d been on edge for four days, and it wasn’t easy for him to calm down. She stayed uncharacteristically quiet in the car. The first trip from the airport had been a hint of what it was like to get her back from work. She was always talking, but not this time, and by the time he pulled up in the driveway, he was sure she wasn’t fine. Or rather, that she was the female kind of fine, which meant something was really shit.
She dropped her backpack and bag just inside the door, and after a brief hesitation, he took her in his arms.
“You’re not fine, Hotshot,” he said. She stayed quiet, but hugged him really tightly. “Come on. Level with me.”
“S
hower first. Come with me.”
“Okay.”
They both shed their clothes along the way, and he tried to not make it too obvious that he was trying to make sure she was okay again. There were bruises on her hip and shoulder, and some scrape marks on her knee and thigh. It wasn’t too bad, considering it could’ve been a bullet in her head.
She held him close while they waited for the water to become hot, but she wasn’t talking, and Mace was freaking out. She pulled him inside and then just stood still while he held her.
“Kathleen, please,” he mumbled against her wet hair. That was when he felt her crying, and she had never fucking cried before—ever. He leaned back and looked at her in terror. “Baby?”
“Please don’t argue with me yet.”
“No, of course not, but talk to me.”
“It was just… Those women. I can’t… Usually I can handle it, and I did while I was there, but it’s this…” she waved with her hand, “contrast between there and here, and you. I know you’re angry, and you’re angry for the right reasons, but it’s just…”
She was rambling, and Mace had no idea how to handle this side of her because he’d never seen her like that before.
“Hey, honey. Tell me about it.”
“All those women and girls, just young girls, who’d been raped. There was an older woman there, and she withered away in front of us. She died the day before I left, and for no apparent reason. She just stopped living. She had HIV, but it wasn’t… she just gave up. And there’s evidence that they’re willfully trying to give these women and children HIV. They keep them, for months. There was a girl on the plane sitting right next to me. She was ten and was watching some movie, and I’d interviewed a girl about her age just two days earlier. It was just the contrast.” She took a few deep breaths and wiped her face with her hands. “How have things been here?”
“Really?” he chuckled. “You’re done?”
“Yeah. Needed to just freak out about it a little.”
He gave her a kiss, and it tasted faintly of salt.
“It’s been calm.”
Really fucking calm, but he had a feeling it was just the calm before the storm. The list of the clubs was ready, and the patch-overs were starting in January. They’d manage to patch over two, maybe three, and then people were going to start to take notice. Mace hoped the other Mexican cartels and the US Smiling Ghouls would stay put until they’d finish building their club. In all honesty, Kathleen in Africa might not be a bad idea. It would keep her out of the way.
“Mace, I know we’re not renowned for our romantic sides, but do you think you can make love to me?”
“I think I can handle that,” he answered and started to slowly kiss her.
“Slowly,” she whispered. “I need to feel you loving me.”
“I do love you, Hotshot. So fucking much. You scared the shit outta me. Felt like I couldn’t breathe until I saw you. I get pissed when I’m scared.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
He leaned back and smiled. “I’d tell you to not take a risk like that again, but I don’t see you giving me that promise.”
“I can, without question, promise you I will do my very best to not be shot at again, because it was scary.”
“I’ll take that. Want to move to the bed?”
o0o
They spent the rest of Christmas Eve in bed, and the next morning, he woke her up a few hours before they had to be at Brick’s place. She snuggled closer to him.
“Merry Christmas, honey,” she whispered.
“Merry Christmas. Think you’ll be okay with big family Christmas?”
“Yeah. Your family things are a lot more pleasant than mine,” she smiled. “How long?”
“You’ve got three hours until we have to leave.”
“I’m putting one of them on you. I’ve missed you. Don’t think I got around to telling you that yesterday, but I’ve really missed you. And not just sex.”
“What else have you missed?” he mumbled and started kissing her throat to work himself down to her breasts.
“Talking. I don’t think I’ve realized how much I unload when I talk to you about what I write.” She stroked his cheek. “But I’ve missed sex, too—and fucking.”
“So we’re on the fucking today?”
“Definitely.”
Not that he minded making love, but fucking was his forte, he’d had a lot more practice with fucking. He pushed her over to her back, and with a content groan he grabbed the back of her thighs to get a taste of her.
She forced him to leave her alone an hour later. Apparently his hands all over her and his mouth nibbling along her neck was distracting, but she looked so fucking good in thigh-highs.
When Kathleen finally emerged from the bathroom, he had to do a double take. She had a white shirt and black skirt, and she’d done that parting on the side thing with her hair. Not even mentioning lipstick.
“Wow!” was all he could say.
“Too much?” she asked and reached for a pair of those awesome high heels she wore way too rarely.
“Hell no. You’re… I’m hard again.”
Kathleen smiled and put her shoes on. Then she circled his neck.
“Are we okay?” she asked. “With the shooting and everything.”
“I’m not okay with the shooting having happened.” He held her face and gave her a kiss. “But we’re okay.”
The breakdown in the shower was so uncharacteristic of her it had freaked him out worse than hearing someone had shot at her. Besides, they both knew that what the club was doing could potentially be more harmful to her than her chasing guerilla men who raped women—which was a really fucking depressing thought.
o0o
Kathleen was still jetlagged out of her mind, so they didn’t stay long at Brick’s place, and for the first time in years, leaving Brick’s place didn’t mean he went to see Vic, or that he was going to the clubhouse to get drunk. It meant he was going home, to his and Kathleen’s home.
It was still pretty empty, the only thing standing out was the painting by Trudy, the rocking chair in the bedroom which she still hadn’t thrown out, and a picture of his parents. He’d asked her if it was okay, and she’d seemed surprised that he’d even asked.
Mace still hadn’t met her parents, and by the looks of it he wouldn’t. Her mom had called a few times to scream at her, and lately she wasn’t even picking up. Her dad and siblings had called, too, but she just wasn’t interested. In her own words: she was done with them.
Mace had spent most of the day staring at Kathleen. Tired as she was, she looked fucking fantastic. Even if she was away a lot, she attended club functions when she was in town, and he often found her next to Eliza. She seemed to view Kathleen as her new hero, but Brick took it with stride. The way he figured it, Eliza could’ve had much worse heroes.
They’d left just after Mac and Vi had announced they were expecting a second baby, and Kathleen had been very quiet in the car back home. She made herself a cup of coffee and came to sit next to him on the couch.
“Do you like children?” she asked.
Mace had just thought about how much he liked this Christmas Day, but it sounded as if it was about to change.
They’d talked about most things and what plans they had. In his case it was mostly about the plans the Marauders had, and she’d specifically asked to be told only the things that directly affected her. It was a tricky balance, though, and he’d told her that. She’d shared her plans with him, too, as much as she could plan. She was still working freelance, and she liked it. Ricardo, the IT guy from G.O., had helped her set up a webpage, and Mitch had helped a little, too. At the moment, she wanted to continue working freelance. They’d had a few fights about the fact that she didn’t want him to help her with money more than he did. The more money she made by herself, the less of an issue it became, though.
They hadn’t talked about kids. She was forty, and if he was honest, he’d kind of ho
ped she’d… thought she was too old. He sure as shit thought he was too old to start with kids, but then he was just over ten years older than her. It was quite a big difference when it came to having kids. He’d never lied to her, and he wasn’t about to start.
“I like kids, but frankly, I’m not interested in having any of my own.”
She smiled. “Good. I was worried you’d want kids. We’ve never talked about it. Guess I’ve been avoiding it.” She took his hand, and he was so fucking relieved. “Think you’ll change your mind?”
“No. You?”
“Not likely. Besides, in a few years it’ll be too late, and then it’s not an issue anyway.” Kathleen put the cup on the table and straddled him, which meant her skirt slid up over her legs and revealed her milky white thighs above her thigh highs. “Think that was the last thing I wanted out of the way.”
“Um.” He swallowed and tore his focus from her thighs. “For today… or?”
“No,” she smiled. “Remember when you said you’d hold on to that ring until I wanted it?”
“Oh, I remember.” He grabbed her cheeks. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I’d be proud to be your wife, if you’ll have me.”
“Yes,” he laughed. “I’d be proud to be your husband, too, you know.”
“Keeping the balance, I’m impressed.”
“You’ve taught me a thing or two,” he pulled her closer for a kiss. “When?”
“Thought we’d get it done this year. And I thought I’d add Mullen to my name.”
He hadn’t expected that. She was making a living on her name, so he’d settled with the idea that she’d keep her name no matter what happened. It meant a lot that she was prepared to add his name to it, even if she probably wouldn’t use it in public.
“So to balance, you take my name and I…?”
“Wear the ring and make it mean something.”
“Deal. Since you’ve thought about this, I assume you have some idea of witnesses, because I also assume that this is a thing between you and me.”
“Sisco. My pick is Sisco,” she smiled. “Who do you pick?”
“Oh, you bitch,” he laughed. “You pick my best friend.”
Speed of Light (Marauders #3.5) Page 19