by Lacey Black
We are a blessed family. The Stevens family is full of rich laughter and unwavering support. I feel lucky to bring my own child into this close-knit family which only seems to be getting bigger and bigger with each passing day. As I lay my hand down on Josselyn’s baby bump, I know that this baby is not only a blessing to me and to Josselyn, but that this family will be a blessing to our son.
At the end of the evening, I take my girl home and make slow, sweet love to her, trying to convey everything that’s in my heart. Though I haven’t said the words yet, I know that I love her and wordlessly show her twice throughout the night. I want to show her how much I love her every day, and I just hope I don’t do something to screw it all up.
*****
It’s another hot, yet beautiful Saturday early evening in Rivers Edge and Josselyn sent me a text message a few minutes ago that she’s bringing Matty out to the house to show him how everything was progressing. I’m standing on the front porch chugging a bottle of water when I see Josselyn’s car pull up the lane. They both hop out and head towards the porch with huge smiles on their faces. I can’t deny the smile on my own face either at the sight of Josselyn in another cute little dress. She’s strikingly beautiful – pregnant or not.
“Hey, Travis,” Matty says as he walks up the stairs. Josselyn follows and steps in front of me. I lean forward and give her a gentle kiss on her sweet lips.
“I’m going to take Matty for a quick tour of the house. Then, he talked me into taking some maternity pictures,” she says as she sticks out her tongue and gives a look of displeasure.
“Really? I think that’s a great idea, Joss,” I say and give Matty an appreciative head nod.
“Come on, Matty. Let’s do the tour so we can get this all over with,” Josselyn says as she leads him through the front door.
I hear her giving a quick tutorial of each room as they go. Matty seems genuinely excited about the house, asking her tons of questions as they go, and just being a general cheerleader for the project. But, honestly, that doesn’t surprise me. Matty is Josselyn’s biggest supporter – well, besides me – and of course he’s going to be excited for her and the house.
After a quick tour, Matty and Josselyn head back out to the car while I return to my task at hand. I’ve been cleaning up the house, moving tools, and getting things situated for more insulation and drywall. I’m surprisingly clean for a Saturday.
Movement out one of the living room windows catches my eye so I take a quick peek out just as Matty and Josselyn walk to the side of the house with the tall prairie grass. Matty has his camera dangling from one hand and one of my white button-down dress shirts still on the hanger in the other hand. What are they up to?
I step out on the front porch and watch Matty do his thing. He has Josselyn standing in the prairie grass, snapping photo after photo of her holding her stomach and smiling at the camera. I’m hypnotized by her smile. It’s beautiful. So full of life and happiness.
I watch as he photographs her standing, sitting, and laying in the grass. She’s wearing a brightly colored sundress that accents the baby bumps and fits her personality to perfection.
After about fifteen minutes, Matty picks up my shirt and opens it up as if hiding Josselyn. I watch, wondering what in the world he’s up to when I realize she’s removing her dress. The shirt Matty’s holding up shield’s Josselyn from view of anyone, but the idea of Josselyn stripping down outside has me a little unnerved.
I head down the steps and start to walk towards them through the tall grass. By the time I reach them, Josselyn is wearing my shirt. She turns around and faces me, pulling the open front of the shirt securely closed.
“What are you doing?” I ask Matty, clearly not understanding his ‘vision’ for this photo shoot.
“Trust me, Travis. I had a vision last night of Josselyn and I want to create it. I think these photos are going to be award winners,” Matty says with a huge smile and gleam in his eyes.
I hesitate, but decide to put my trust in Matty. If Josselyn trusts him, then I need to also. I watch as he positions Josselyn within the tall grass so that her back is towards the sun setting over the tips of the trees, removes her flip flips, and allows the shirt to fall open. I know Matty’s a gay man, but I still don’t like the thought of any man – ANY man – seeing Josselyn naked. My hands ball into fists uncontrollably. I’m edgy, springy, ready to pounce.
“Get ready, Josselyn. We only have a few minutes to capture this before the sun dips below the trees,” he says as he starts to snap photos. “Now, look forward, not at the camera, and give me a serious, thoughtful look.”
As I watch, I can see what he’s doing. The white shirt falls almost to Josselyn’s knees, and even though it’s open, the only thing you can see is the protruding baby bump. Her breasts are actually covered up by the shirt and the grass is tall enough that you really don’t see her panties.
“Oh my gosh! I just got a brilliant idea! Travis, take off your shirt. Now! Fast! Hurry, hurry!” he exclaims with wide, excited eyes.
I raise my eyebrow in question and just stare back at him. Did he just tell me to take off my shirt?
“Seriously, Travis. Hurry up!” he exclaims as he runs to me and starts to rip my t-shirt out of my jeans.
“Wait a minute, Matty,” I start as I take a step backwards.
“We don’t have time. Just trust me. Take off your shirt. Hurry.”
I reach down and quickly remove my shirt. I swear I see Matty fan himself out of the corner of my eye and can hear Josselyn giggle.
“Now your boots,” he says. “Take them off. Quickly.”
So, I take off my work boots as quickly as possible.
“Socks, too,” he adds after I have my boots shucked.
After removing my socks in record time, he grabs my arm and pulls me towards Josselyn. “Travis, please stand right in front of her,” he says.
I stand right in front of Josselyn, staring down at her stunning brown hair and sparkling hazel eyes.
“Look at each other,” Matty directs as I hear the shutter on the camera.
I continue to gaze down into Josselyn’s eyes while Matty does his thing.
“Travis, undo your pants,” Matty says in all seriousness.
“Huh?” I ask and whip my head towards the camera.
“Just do it. Trust me,” he urges.
So, I unsnap and unzip my jeans. I’m standing before Josselyn, gazing at her, and I have to admit, this moment is erotic as hell. The sun setting over the trees, her wearing my shirt and practically nothing else, and me wearing only my jeans. Even with my pants undone, they still feel a little snug in the front.
Without even thinking, I reach forward with my right hand and grab a hold of Josselyn’s hip and pull her towards me a half-step. The shirt remains open, but conceals her chest and only exposes her bare baby bump. She reaches forward with her right hand and grabs a hold of the belt loop on the side of my open jeans. Her baby bump is almost touching my stomach. I can feel the electric current soaring through our bodies, zapping my already frazzled nerve endings. I’m lost in her hazel eyes, lost in the moment, lost in the intense feelings I feel pumping through my blood for Josselyn.
I don’t even hear the sounds of Matty’s camera as Josselyn and I stare deeply and meaningfully into each other’s eyes. It’s when Matty happily and dramatically exclaims, “Finished!” that I realize we aren’t actually alone or lost in our own private world. We’re standing in the grass by the house.
“Seriously, you two. These pictures are going to be phenomenal! I can’t wait to get them back to the studio and check them out. The sunset, your sexy attire, the ‘I want to rip your clothes off and make crazy monkey love’ looks that you give each other…uh! These pictures are going to win me awards!” he exclaims as he places his camera securely into his bag.
Josselyn reaches forward and wraps the dress shirt securely around her body and gives me a coy smile. I step over and pick up her dress and bra while she slides her feet back
into her flip flops. “I think I’m going to step inside and get dressed,” Josselyn says as she starts to walk towards the house.
I watch her walk away wearing my dress shirt, mesmerized by the gentle sway of her hips, the curve of her ass, as she heads towards my house. Our house. The house I’m building for us, our future.
Us. Together.
Chapter Eleven
Josselyn
30 weeks - 7 months
Fortunately, softball season is over with, though Travis hasn’t actually played in the past several weeks. Between Will, Jake and Nate, they filled in for him on the team. Labor Day has come and gone and early signs of fall are starting to set in. Travis has been at the house every night, working until the early morning hours before coming home and crashing for a few hours before getting up and doing it all again the next day.
Lately, he’s been moody and edgy, and I try not to take it personally, though my emotions are working overtime lately. I cry at the drop of a hat like at the sappy beer military commercial or become angry when I can’t complete the smallest task like paint my own toenails. I’m nearing the end of my seventh month now. In the home stretch as I like to refer to it. In about ten weeks, I will be holding my son who has been tap dancing on my bladder, causing me Charlie horses in the middle of the night, and making me crave microwaved brussel sprouts dipped in melted butter. Yuck.
I haven’t seen Travis in three days. Literally. He gets up before me in the morning and comes home well after I go to sleep at night. The only reasons I actually know he’s been home is the pile of dirty clothes he leaves on the bathroom floor and the almost empty coffee pot sitting on the counter.
It’s Sunday afternoon as I’m super excited to go to the Stevens today. I’ve been so lonely lately. I cut my hours back at the café a week ago since my back is killing me and my feet are swelling up to balloon size. An afternoon with Travis’s family is just what I need right now. Well, that and the fact that Matty should be here any minute.
As if right on cue, there’s a quick knock on the apartment door. I fling the door open and throw myself into the scrawny arms of my best friend in the whole world. Tears are streaming down my face without even realizing it and Matty looks at me with concern filled eyes.
“Joss, what’s wrong?” he asks.
“Oh, nothing. I’m just so emotional lately. And I missed you so much. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you,” I tell him as I usher him inside and shut to door.
“Well, I’m here now, sweet cheeks. And Uncle Matty has a huge surprise for his favorite little nephew,” he says with a huge smile as he rubs my belly.
“What is it?” I ask excitedly as I wait for him to tell me more.
“I won’t tell you, Josselyn Jane. Right now, you need to go into that bedroom of yours and put on a nice outfit,” he says as he gives me a gentle shove towards the bedroom. “Hurry up! I don’t have all day,” he adds.
I step in the bedroom and pull one of the maternity sundresses out of our closet. I’m sliding it on when Matty yells from the hallway, “So where is that big beefcake hunky man of yours at, anyway?”
I sigh dramatically and don’t answer for several seconds. “He’s working on the house. All the time. He has been working on the house every moment of every day. I haven’t seen him in a few days,” I say as I step out into the hallway and slip on my favorite pair of flip flops.
“I’m sure it’s just because he’s focused on getting the house ready, Joss. He’s under the gun to get the house complete before the baby is born.” And as if reading my thoughts, Matty adds, “I’m sure it has nothing to do with you, sweetie.”
I want to believe his words, really I do. But lately, I have nothing to do but think, and my thoughts have not been very good. I wonder if Travis is tired of me, if he’s afraid he’s making a mistake where I am concerned or where the baby is concerned. That just bums me out more than anything. I can handle it if he were to come home and tell me he didn’t want a relationship with me anymore. What I couldn’t handle is if he didn’t want one with our son either.
Tears threaten to fall while my mind goes uncontrollably towards my biggest fears. Raising this baby alone without Travis. I’ve come to lean on him, to need him, to love him. I realized a few weeks back that I was madly in love with him. I feel safe and secure when he’s with me. I feel like I can be myself for the first time in my life when I’m in his presence. And I feel like he maybe feels the same way too. Well, I did feel that way until recently.
“Come on, girl,” Matty says as he drags me to the bathroom. “Snap out of it. I want you to brush your hair and put on a little make up. We have a surprise to get to,” he adds as he exits the bathroom.
After throwing on bare minimum make up and brushing my hair and teeth - oh, and peeing for the second time since entering the bathroom - I head out and meet Matty in the kitchen.
“Ready?” he asks with a huge, mischievous smile on his face.
“Ready. For what? I don’t know, but I’m ready none the less,” I say as we step out the door. We hop inside of Matty’s car and head towards Travis’s parent’s house.
When we arrive, I notice that the entire family is already here. I check my watch to make sure we’re not late, but it’s only two o’clock. We’re actually early.
Matty steers me around the back of the house and the first thing I see are balloons. Balloons everywhere. Blue, yellow, and green balloons, streamers, and table cloths. I look around at all of the decorations and all of the faces and finally notice the CONGRATULATIONS TRAVIS & JOSSELYN sign hanging from the arbor over a table covered with presents.
“What is this?” I ask Matty who’s smiling like the cat who ate the canary.
“It’s your baby shower, silly!” Matty exclaims as he pulls me into the crowd of people. I see all of Travis’ siblings, Maddox’s family, and a few of the girls from the diner. As I scan the crowd of familiar faces, my eyes crash into the same hazel eyes I have. These belong to my mother and my sister. To say I’m shocked would be an understatement.
“Hi, Mom,” I say as I walk up and give her a small hug.
“Josselyn, it was nice of someone to call and invite us to this shower. Heaven knows you don’t call us and update us on anything anymore,” she says with a slightly cold tone to her voice.
I decide to ignore the jab at my lack of communication and turn my attention to Karlie. “Hi, Karlie. You’re looking well,” I say as I give her an air kiss on each cheek.
“Why thank you, Josselyn. And you look…pregnant,” she says as if struggling to come up with a positive word.
“Thank you, I think,” I say and turn my attention to Avery and Erin who are chomping at the bit to get a hold of me. They each throw their arms around me simultaneously and give me the sisterly hugs that I wish my own sister who is standing right next to me would give me.
“Did you two plan this?” I ask as tears fill my eyes.
“Yes. Well, us, Mom and Matty,” Avery says.
“Matty has been a force to be reckoned with, I tell you,” Erin adds with a laugh.
“Oh, I’m sure he has been,” I reply and continue on with hugs for each of Travis’s brothers.
I’m standing with Jake, Nate, and Maddox and can’t help but continually look around for any sign of the one person I thought would be here. “Where’s Travis?” I finally ask when I don’t see him after my second - or was it my sixth - glance around the yard.
“I’m not sure. He said he’d be here,” Nate replies.
“He’s probably just running behind. I’ll give him a quick call and check on him,” Jake says as he pulls his cell phone from his pocket.
“Hey,” Jake says into the phone but then his entire demeanor changes. He becomes tense and visibly agitated.
“I don’t really care what you’re doing right now,” Jake growls into the phone in a low menacing voice. “No, you don’t have time. It’s your damn baby shower, Travis. Get your ass over here right now,”
he adds as he turns away from me so I can’t hear the rest of the conversation.
After a few more tense seconds, Jake hangs up his phone forcefully and turns back to me and the rest of the crowd. “He’s on his way,” he says as cheerfully as he can, but I can see the anger rolling off him like a tidal wave. His jaw is tight and the veins in his forehead are bulging out. I’d hate to be on the receiving end of an upset Jake Stevens.
Avery steers me towards the food table, and I pile on more food than I can possibly eat right now. Actually, I’m suddenly not hungry at all, yet I feel like I need to do something with my hands. Did Travis forget or did he just not care enough to come? The thought of either makes my stomach lurch and the desire to throw up uncontrollable.
I sip on a glass of water as I breathe through the nausea. Erin comes up and sits next to me on the glider trying to make pleasant small talk, but I’m just not into the conversation. I plaster on a fake smile and nod occasionally as she talks, but I don’t actually hear any of the words she says.
Twenty minutes later, Travis comes barreling around the side of the house carrying a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He’s covered in drywall dust and is sporting some of the biggest bags under his eyes that I’ve ever seen. He looks tired, worn out, exhausted. He also looks like he’d rather be any place but right here.
“Hi, everyone. I got stuck finishing sanding the drywall at the house. Let me buzz in and take a quick shower and I’ll be right out,” he says as he heads into the house without so much as a glance my way.
Another fifteen minutes later, Travis returns freshly showered and wearing a big, fake smile. For the first time since he arrived, his eyes scan the crowd and lock on mine. He makes his way over to me and places a friendly kiss on my cheek.
“Sorry I’m late,” he says. “I’m starving. I’m going to grab some food,” he adds before heading over to the food table.
I watch him walk away and notice my mother looking at us for the first time. She raises her manicured eyebrow with a questioning look. I give her my best smile and turn my attention back to Erin.