When She Least Expected It

by Jeanette Lynn

  Watching, worrying, as my newfound lover moved in, sidling up alongside me on the bed, I had a sinking feeling that I should be more careful what I wish for.

  Acquiescence... What does that mean?

  A hand crept up my ankle, waking me up as it caressed my calf and tickled the sensitive underside of my knee. Goose flesh broke out all over my skin and I shivered.

  With a groan, I weakly tried to shoo him away, face down on the bed with my face buried in his pillow. "No more," I mumbled into the pillow.

  It wasn’t long before I felt his tongue slide up my thigh, making me jump at the unexpected sensation.

  His hand came into play, pressing on my shoulder blades, holding me in place as he licked up my thigh and over one cheek, chuckling when I squealed and tried to get up.

  "Will!" I screeched, turning my head so he could hear me loud and clear.

  "Yes, my little kumquat?" he purred.

  My breath escaped me when he reached my spine and his licks turned to hickey inducing love bites.

  Evil! Evil man!

  He figured out a few hours ago just how much I liked love bites, how hard they were for me to resist.

  "No more," I panted out breathlessly, and even though it sounded very much like a no, he knew it was a hell yes.

  The second he ran his fingers through my sex and they came back soaked, he knew it was a done deal.

  "This one is for me, Bit. I want to make you scream," he growled out, lifting my hips up.

  Toes curling, I arched my rump in the air and waited for him, the rustling and tearing of a foil packet letting me know he was going to get right down to business, which was just fine with me.

  I was primed and ready, my thoroughly sated body thrumming back to life with just a few teasing strokes and lascivious love bites from my horny, hazel eyed devil.

  "Ready, Bit? Think you can handle me again?" he asked in his smarmy, preppy voice.

  "I don't know," I said tauntingly, wiggling my ass in the air, "think you can get it up one more time, little man?"

  He gripped my hips and I felt him guiding himself to my sex. His cock head slid home and he thrust into me, ramming in to the hilt, my teeth clamping down on my lip the only thing keeping me from crying out as he filled me to the brim.

  "Do I feel little now, short shit?" he demanded in that condescending tone that tells me I've poked a sore spot for my sensitive, snooty, gorilla man—and, kudos to me, gotten him all fired up.

  "I dunno..." I hummed, chuckling, pushing back against him to wriggle around on his shaft. "It's kind of hard to tell. Hmm. Is that supposed to be- Will!" I yelped out as he slapped my ass.

  "You little shit! You think earlier was something? I'm going to fuck you so hard, you'll be cursing my name for a week!"

  Yes, please!

  He growled and pulled out a little, then slammed home again. My pussy clamped down on him and gripped him hard. I gasped and moaned, gripping the bed sheets.

  "Not yet, Bit," he chastised, chuckling at me evilly. I felt the hairs on his chest brush against my back as he leaned in, draping himself over me. "I haven't even started yet. We don't want you getting all tuckered out before we've even begun," he whispered darkly, a wealth of promise in that one simple statement.

  Ohhh, and I couldn’t wait.

  He gripped the bars on the headboard, right over my head, and used them as leverage to pound into me. His shaft tunneled in and out of me in long, smooth, hard thrusts, the bed creaking noisily as he dominated me. He let me know that there was nothing little about him.

  I was just on the cusp of another earth shattering climax when he stopped and leaned over more, his breath tickling my ear.

  "Still think I have a tiny dick, Bit?" He nipped my neck, smiling when I squeaked in surprise, kissing and nuzzling a path across my neck to the skin behind my ear.

  "Is that a dick?" I asked, panting, hair soaked and sweaty, my breaths coming out short and choppy.

  I tried not to whimper as my sex throbbed from my unfinished orgasm, his thick, beautiful shaft snuggled deliciously deep inside of me while he diddled away precious sex time with his penis issues.

  I was sure my choice comments hadn’t helped me out any in that department, but he was just too easy to rile. I couldn’t resist!

  Will started up all over again, mastering me skillfully as he brought me to the edge of another mind blowing climax, pausing mid thrust when he could tell I was reaching my peak. I didn't know whether to whimper or growl. If that man doesn't relieve me soon, I swear, I just might beat his ass!

  "I won't let you until you say it," he taunted, his hand reaching around me to play with my clit, his shaft motionless as it stayed wedged, thick and throbbing, deep inside me.

  "Say what?" I squawked, ready to shout out just about anything at this point.

  "Say I have a huge penis," he instructed, his voice rough and low, his nose nuzzling my hair, his tongue peeking out to lick the shell of my ear.

  "What?" I giggled, taken aback by his silly demand.

  Is that all?

  "Okay, you have a huge penis," I whispered, then nipped his arm.

  He chuckled and nipped my shoulder in return.

  "Noooo," he cooed sweetly, "I want you to say it loudly, mean it, and say it with... feeling."

  "Should I take out an ad in the paper, as well?" I retorted sarcastically, then snorted. Shut up, Tabs! Give him what he wants so we can get us some, my pussy chimed in. "Shut up, you little slut," I muttered out loud.

  "What?" Will asked, laughing as I looked down at my vagina from between my hands and knees.

  "I wasn't talking to you," I informed him primly.

  "Uhmm, then who were you talking to, Bit? There's no one else in here..." Fancy Pants, ever the smart ass, made a show of looking around the room, like he was searching out the source of my one-sided conversation.

  "If you must know...” I cleared my throat, taking a deep breath before I admitted, not an ounce of remorse in my admission, “I was talking to my vagina."

  "Uh-huh.” The look on Will’s face was priceless. “Do you do this often? And what does your vagina tell you?" And then he was chuckling, laughing out loud at me openly, his chest heaving as he guffawed against my back.

  "How can you still have a hard-on through all of this?" I muttered incredulously, glancing down to eye us where we were still joined.

  "How can you still be rhythmically gripping me like you're trying to snap my dick in half?" he quipped, giving a little thrust to prove his point.

  Because it feels to god damned good, that’s why.

  "Touché, sir. But anyway, my vagina thinks I should give you what you want, so we can get ours. I called her a slut."

  Will kissed my neck and I felt him grin against my skin. "I like the way your vagina thinks, Bit."

  "Of course you would," I grumbled.

  His hands angling my hips, he lifted up and pulled out of me. Expecting something completely different, a new position, a hard pounding, anything but a sudden withdrawal at the all you can handle pussy buffet, I jumped, shocked, a sudden emptiness taking place where he had just been as he so easily slipped from my depths.

  Scrambling, I whirled around and glared at him. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I am not done with you yet! Get back in there!" I demanded.

  As if I wasn’t about to snap my jaws at him, Will rolled to his back, sideways on the bed, and stroked himself. "Not until you say it, Bit." his lackadaisical attitude, like withdrawing the hot dog from the bun was just fine and dandy with him, no problemo, not a care in the world, just him casually wanking off his mad erection, irked me more than that stupid look on his face.

  Stupid man. Growling at him in frustration, I crossed my arms over my ample chest. "I hate you," I pouted.

  He stroked himself a little harder, putting a bit of effort into it, and moaned out loud. Will opened his eyes and stared at me, eyeing me possessively, lust darkened hazel eyes trailing down my body hotly as he squeez
ed the tip of his shaft and gasped.

  "But you have enough love in you for my gorilla legs, stinky feet, and whatever else I can throw at you, don't you, my little kumquat?" he teased hotly, watching me beneath hooded lids, winking.

  Closing the distance between us, I rushed over to him and pulled his hands away. Studying me, he just laid there, folding his arms behind his head to smile up at me lazily.

  Hah. Dick. Large, angry, swollen... fat headed... Literally a dick, his dick, in both senses.

  Straddling his thighs, I hopped on top of him, watching him watching me as I impaling myself on his fat cock. Once we were fully joined, my sheath already begin to constrict his jerking shaft, I gripped his pecs and glared down at him.

  "Ah, Bit! God, yes! Ride me." Will groaned, head thrown back. If he knew I was glowering down at him like a Valkyrie about to do battle, he didn’t comment. This is on, babe, I thought, holding absolutely nothing back as I began to move, ready to ride him hard.

  My nails dug into his chest, but he didn't seem to mind, bucking his hips, sending his dick slamming up into me enthusiastically.

  Taking cues from my snobby pants-ed lover, I smiled evilly when I felt his body beginning to tremble, his cock starting to jerk, signaling his impending climax. My fingers brushing his nipples to pluck them once, twice, I pinched them and let go, stilling my hips with them, and stopped suddenly.

  His eyes popped open wide and he tried to thrust up into me, but I held still, smirking down at him evilly when it didn't give him the same range of motion.

  "Say you're my love slave," I demanded, grinning even wider at the sudden, heavy scowl slipping across his face.

  "What! No! Admit I have a huge dick!" he demanded right back.

  "No," I said adamantly, and shifted my hips, allowing his still jerky member to slide out a little, acting like I was going to get up.

  I wasn't really, but he didn't know that. Eh, I think I'll let him sweat it out for a minute.

  "Wait," Will ground out, gripping my hips, his fingers digging in when I would have continued my bluff, "let's not be hasty about this, Bit."

  Staring up at me almost pleadingly, sweat already beginning to form on his brow, he licked his lips nervously, while I tried to keep my expression neutral.

  "I'm sure we can come to some kind of... an understanding," he cajoled, his thumbs stroking my hips a little, a small smile tipping his full, kissable lips.

  Swallowing hard in the face of my blank expression, he gave me that dimpled smile that just sucks me right in. I had to remind myself to make him think this was all his idea, that he'd found the compromise.

  "Like what?" I asked idly, doodling on his chest, my fingers tickling through the mad mat of hair curling across his pecs.

  Shivering at the touch, skin prickling, he gulped and closed his eyes in pleasure, gooseflesh popping up along his shoulders and arms as I circled his nipples teasingly and gave each a little pinch.

  "A... a truce," he mumbled, swallowing hard. His fingers flexed on my hips like he was trying not to grip my sides and flip me off to take me himself, flipping us around to pound me into the mattress—ahem, again.

  Despite how tantalizing an idea that sounded, or how hot the idea made me feel, I kept my cool.

  Bending closer, I leaned down and kissed his nose. "Okay," I said sweetly and let myself slam down on his aching erection again.

  God, yes, I thought, then let out a throaty moan.

  Groaning right along with me, Will gripped my hips and rammed into me, calling out my name fervently with every sharp, upward thrust that rewarded him with a pussy squeeze, countering my downward grinding of my hips as I gyrated on his dick.

  Reaching out for my chest, he took a breast in each hand, his thumbs stroking my nipples until they were tight, hardened buds, and then he pinched them each a little, just enough, alternating his teasing pinches with his thrusts.

  Pressing us together hard enough it should’ve hurt, I ground my clit against him, calling out his name as suddenly I came, my sheath quivering and convulsing around him, milking his shaft as we both found our pleasure, his hot seed filling the condom as he kept pumping into me.

  When we'd both finished, the last twitches of our orgasms fading, leaving us both a puddle of sated goo, I slumped against him, wallowing all over the man, smiling against his chest.

  "Mmmm..." I hummed happily.

  "Mmmm-hmmm," Will replied drowsily.

  It was quiet after that, the crickets starting to come out now since we'd spent most of the day in bed, having sex, eating, sleeping, but mostly sex.

  "Will...?" I said tentatively.

  "Yeah," he said into the quiet of the room.

  "You have a huge penis, baby! You big, hairy, sasquatch man, you!" I practically shouted, cooing the words into his furry pecs exuberantly.

  Will’s chest began to move, and I hugged him close, grinning when his chest moved faster, harder, until I was holding on while he busted up laughing. I chuckled along with him, his chest rattling me from head to toe with his deep, happy, belly laugh.

  It’s All Relative...

  "Yow!" I howled when the bacon sizzled and popped, grease slapping out of the pan, catching the knuckle of my finger.

  "What's wrong, my little kumquat?" Will teased as he came up behind me. Shaking my finger out, I lifted it up, allowing him to take my hand and hold it up to the light in the kitchen for inspection, trying to get a good look at it.

  "It's fine," I insisted, trying to pull my hand back, but he held tight.

  Working around me, his chest pressing into my back, he reached over with his free hand and used my fork to put the last pieces of bacon onto the plate with the others. Bacon secured, he turned off the stove and winked at me.

  "I dunno… could be serious," he fairly purred, backing me slowly towards the counter by the sink, then made a tsking sound.

  Allowing him to lead me, I snorted and rolled my eyes at him. "If you're still ready to go after all the horizontal hokey pokey we did up there yesterday," I motioned upstairs with a jerk of my chin, "then I'm going to have to reconsider this whole committed love thing with you. I mean really, Willy, what am I going to- Ah! Um... I, uh... oh- Uh... erm. Oh my," I trailed off, gulping as he sucked my injured finger into his mouth and gently swirled his tongue over it.

  His free hand came around to cup my bottom, pulling me roughly against him, and he let my finger slide out of his mouth slowly. "I love when you wear nothing but this," he said, fingering the buttons on my long sleeved, button down, flannel shirt, slowly unbuttoning it as his free hand slid enticingly over my bare bottom.

  Pressing myself flush against him, I grinned, my hands coming down to tease the waistband of his jeans, button undone, his happy trail disappearing beyond the denim, giving me a tantalizing peek of what lays at the end of the rainbow.

  "And I like you just like this," I purred, one hand snaking into his pants to grip my prize, the other reaching up to caress his bare chest.

  Will grunted, then groaned when I gripped the hair on his chest and tugged, keeping it up steadily, one pump of his little friend, a tug, the fingers of my other hand tweaking his furry pecs, until he came closer. Staring into his eyes, watching the change come over him, want for pure lust, I smiled knowingly.

  I was nipping his lips playfully, sucking his lower lip into my mouth when a loud outburst pulled us out of our foreplay induced bubble.

  "Ack! Shit! Ack! God! Ugh!" Toby yelled. My head jerked, whipping around to stare wildly over my shoulder. I turned just in time to watch Toby smack his hand over his eyes and try to rush out of the room.

  Spinning around quickly, he was off, but not two seconds later smacked hard into the door jamb to the hall that separated the kitchen from the living room.

  An openly gawking Elliot and a grinning, pregnant Rita were all behind Tobes as he practically concussed himself on the doorway.

  Rita's hands were covering my sweet, little, innocent nephews’ eyes as they tried
desperately to see what had made their daddy squawk and cuss like a sailor.

  Will had shielded my body after Toby's first expletive, but I was pretty sure Elliot, who was second in line in the let's gape at Bit and Will choo choo train, had gotten a good eyeful.

  Grimacing heavily, I buried my face in Will's chest and tried to fight the pink stain threatening to spread across my face.

  "You look so hot when you get all flustered, Bit," Will whispered to try and lighten the mood, trying to help me laugh about it a little.

  "Will," I whispered back, pinching his nipple hard, ignoring his chuckled out yelp, "zip it!"

  ****

  "You're really hairy," Jeremy informed Will as we all gathered in my living room, Will and I now fully dressed.

  "Gee... thanks," Will drawled, pulling me down so I sat next to him on my small sofa, taking up the empty space next to him.

  Jeremy would not be deterred, however, and hopped up on my lap, staring at Will, assessing him.

  Josiah heard his brother and scrambled over, glanced at the lack of space, and hopped right up into Will's lap, surprising everyone since he was usually the standoffish one.

  Josiah eyed Will's t-shirt covered chest and looked up at him. "How come you gots so much fur, Ass-hat? Are you cold at night?"

  "Josiah!" Rita burst out, a strained, apologetic, smile on her quickly pinkening face.

  "Isn't that his name? Ass-hat? That's what Daddy calls him," Josiah said earnestly.

  Toby looked like a deer caught in the head lights as he tried to figure out the best way out of this, laughing nervously when Rita’s head cocked, eyes narrowing, and she gave him a look that promised the man she was going to castrate him.

  "Yeah, Daddy, isn't that what you call me?" Will asked innocently, mimicking Josiah's expression to a T.

  Tobe’s face did a bid of pinkening of its own, his cheeks going ruddy. "I, uh... uhm..." Toby spluttered.

  Cringing for all parties involved, and knowing someone had to keep the peace, lest we burst into all out chaos, I elbowed Will and smiled at Josiah. "He doesn't like that name. Your daddy was saying it to tease Will, but he's not going to anymore, are you, Tobes?" Glancing up to stare at big brother pointedly, I gave Tobester his opening.