Me: I’m sorry.
Stewart: Movie marathon tomorrow?
Me: I am actually going to a concert with Penny
Stewart: You hate music
Me: No, I don’t I just haven’t liked it very much lately is all
Stewart: Why? Weirdo…
Me: I am not a weirdo…okay maybe I am slightly a weirdo, but very long story hurts my heart to talk about it
Stewart: Might make you feel better to talk about it
Sigh…Stewart just killed our friendship. I was starting to like him a lot too. I do not talk about it ever to anyone, including Penny.
Stewart: Are you there?
Me: Sorry I about fell asleep I had a long day
Stewart: Well sleep tight, Katie
Dropping my phone to the floor, I lay and stare at the ceiling, feeling guilty for blowing Stewart off. He really is a nice guy. Nevertheless, he isn’t him…the missing piece of me. My life is seriously such a waste.
Percy comes strutting into my room with his tail raised. “Don’t worry, Percy, you are my number one.” I scratch his ears as he snuggles up on my chest. “You’ll never lie to me, will you?” He purrs loudly, and I take that as a yes.
~**~
Penny comes barging into my room the next morning entirely too early.
“Go away,” I groan and try to cover my head with my pillow.
“Not a chance.” She jerks my pillow from my fingers.
I try to pull my blanket over my head and she steals it away too.
“You suck.” Scrubbing my fingers over my eyes, I try to pry them open.
“You are going to go take a shower and we are getting sexed up for the concert. I refuse to let you go with me looking like a gym instructor in your yoga pants and wife beater.”
“Penny,” I whine.
“No, you’re going to wear real clothes and make yourself presentable.” I guess she has a point. My Saturdays are usually spent lounging on the couch downstairs in my sweats, watching movies with Percy and Stewart.
“Yes ma’am.” I salute her and trudge across the hall to the bathroom.
“And for the love of all things, shave your legs, Katie. You shouldn’t have more hair on you than Percy,” she bickers at me. I just haven’t seen much point. No one touches my legs but me. But maybe Penny is right, and I should start caring more about my appearance…I used to care.
After my shower, I feel good. Recharged maybe?
Penny is waiting with her makeup bag and hair rollers when I come out of the bathroom. “I hope you have a magic wand in that bag,” I say with a snicker.
“I just might, smartass.” She points to a chair, and I take my seat like a good friend.
After an hour of my life, I will never get back, spent with Penny plucking my brows and teasing my hair, I am allowed to move from the chair to get dressed.
“Please, put on pretty panties and a real bra,” she says with a raised brow.
“We’re going to a concert not to get me laid, jeez.” Penny means well so I appease her, wearing an underwire bra and black lace panties under my jeans with the holes in them. Going to a rock concert, guess I had better dress the part. I put on a tight-fitting spaghetti strapped white tank top. My hair is blown out in big waves. I have big movie star hair, and I must admit I look hot when I see my reflection in the mirror. I look like a woman.
It does feel good to be getting dressed up and going out. Penny actually had a good idea. I am getting excited.
Penny is technically working, and I am tagging along as her guest. She has to wear her red employee t-shirt, but at least she wears red like nobody’s business.
Chapter 28
The traffic leading up to the Speedway is insane. We are only able to get around it because of Penny’s special parking pass. There are rows of tour busses in the lot we pull into. My heart starts hammering in my chest. Is this the life he is living? Is he on the road somewhere on a bus like these right now, touring the states? The only downside to this day, is it has put him on my mind more than I care to admit. My fingers are clutching the pendant around my neck tightly.
Penny finds a parking space and hands me the pass I need to wear around my neck that will get me access to basically anywhere today. Since Penny will be working, I will mainly be on my own, but she has promised she will hang with me when she can.
Maybe I should have brought Stewart along. He probably would have loved this. I don’t want to give him the wrong impression though. I like having him around, and I don’t want to lose his friendship.
Butterflies flutter in my stomach. Taking a deep breath, I get out of the car. As we walk through the sea of tour busses, we are catcalled by a few roadies, and it gives my confidence a much needed boost.
Penny gets us cleared through security, and I walk with her so she can check in, and I can find out where she will be posted.
It turns out Penny will actually get to stay with me. They just want her passing out flyers for the Speedway while we walk around and check out the different bands.
I wonder who is playing. It has been so long since I have allowed myself to enjoy music. I avoid always it …afraid I will hear his band. Afraid I will hear the voice that owns me completely.
‘Want you so bad, Kat.’
Five words that I long to hear from his dimpled mouth…my heart aches and my chest is tight, and I cannot breathe remembering his face.
Why did I agree to this? Penny…right. She looks over and sees the panicked expression on my face.
“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”
I gulp gasping for air and I nod.
“You’ll be fine. I promise. Katie, this will be good for you, okay?” She is looking at me with sympathy, and I hate feeling this way.
“I feel stupid. I don’t know why something as simple as going to a concert has to be so hard, Penny?” I must be the worst best friend, ever. She can’t take me anywhere.
“Because you love him, Katie. You always will.” She smiles weakly and fluffs my hair.
“That’s what scares me, Penny. What if I never get over him? What if I go my whole life missing him?” What if this is it…my life…spent wanting him…and never having him.
“Who says you have to, Katie?” She grabs my hand and leads me into the ever-growing crowd.
We make it to the first stage. Some band I have never heard of is playing, and I find myself relaxing and enjoying their grunge sound.
Penny has to go grab more flyers, so I wander to the second stage. I am minding my own, getting into the music. I even find myself joining in on some of the chorus. A strong hand taps my shoulder and a familiar voice calls out my name, “Katie?” I cringe inwardly but put on a brave face.
“Stewart. What are you doing here?”
“Wow, I wasn’t sure if it was really you…you look amazing. You mentioned a concert, and then I heard about this on the radio, so I thought I would check it out.” His eyes rake over my body, and I see a longing in his eyes that I never noticed before.
“Thanks. I’m actually glad you are here. I think Penny might have ditched me.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and we walk around and check out the third stage and some of the booths.
I feel a lot more relaxed, and I am having a great time. It is exhilarating to enjoy music again. I check my phone to see if I have any missed messages from Penny, but I don’t, so I continue to walk around with Stewart. We grab a bite to eat, sharing some nachos from one of the vendors.
I finally spot Penny near one of the gates when Stewart has to take a call.
“There you are. I was beginning to think you were hiding from me.”
She shrugs and smiles awkwardly.
Stewart comes back from his phone call and Penny’s face falls when she sees him. If I didn’t know better, I would say Penny is acting sneaky.
“Stewart, what a nice surprise,” she lies quickly.
I give her the eye and she pretends not to notice the way I
am looking at her.
Stewart checks his watch. “Hey, mind if we go toward the main stage one of my favorite bands are getting ready to go on?”
“Oh, which one?” I ask, curious whom his favorite is that would be playing here today.
“Uh, Stewart I need a huge favor.” Penny interrupts him before he can answer me. “I need your help getting a box?”
“A box?” He questions, and I give her a what the hell look.
“Yeah, so Katie, go over and make sure you get us a good spot to see this band, and we will meet up with you in a few minutes,” Penny states, tugging on Stewart’s arm aggressively.
I fight my way through the crowd gathering at the main stage. This band must be huge. Everyone is abandoning the smaller stages to watch whomever is getting ready to play.
I use my pass to get around the massive sea of people. The security guard scans his eyes over his list and matches my name for safety purposes, I suppose. He pushes his way through the people dragging me with him. We come to a stop in front of the stage.
“Stand right here. You are tiny, and I would hate for you to get trampled. If the crowd pushes on you too much, just signal, and one of us will pull you over the barricade.”
Okay, so that is weird, but comforting at the same time. I look around for Penny and Stewart, but they are nowhere to be found. I feel anxious. The excitement of the crowd is adding to my nerves.
The crowd starts chanting but there are so many voices, I can’t make out what they are actually saying. My head is spinning.
A blonde-haired woman in a red shirt comes out on the stage. Oh my God. It’s Penny. What in the hell is she doing up there? She scans the crowd, spots me, and smiles at me. I give her a thumb up for encouragement, even though I am not sure what she is doing.
She takes a microphone and clears her throat. “This next band is actually from our state, and my hometown. So, it is with great pleasure I give you….”
Don’t say it—don’t you dare say the name, Penny.
“Cooper’s Religion!” She screams, and I die all over again. How could she do this to me? My chest constricts, and I feel all the air drain from me as the color washes from my face.
I try to turn to run away but I am trapped in the crowd. I might actually be dead right now.
I slam into the chest of a large man. He smiles and says, “Wrong way.” He spins me around so that I am facing the stage again.
The crowd roars, shouting, “Cooper’s Religion.” They are all here for him. She set me up. I could kill her. My hands are shaking, and my knees are trembling, threatening to buckle any second now.
Jake comes out, taking his seat behind the drums, and I would never had recognized him. His long hair is now cropped short, but it looks good on him. I take a deep breath watching Hunter and Vance smile out at the crowd.
Then I see him—Kai fucking Cooper—and I can’t do anything…a freight train of emotions slams into my chest. Pride, joy, anger, sadness, hope, and dare I say love—floor me—literally…I am about to hit the ground in an emotional coma, but Penny appears from out of nowhere and takes my hand in hers, squeezing my fingers hard. I look away before his eyes connect with mine. But I can feel him—his soul is calling to mine. I am a boat lost at sea and he is the lighthouse calling my heart home.
“Just breathe,” she says in my ear. My mind flashes to lying in his bed, those dimples that own my soul tug at my heart, as he says, “Just breathe, Kat.”
“I can’t do this, Penny.” I try to jerk from her hand, but she grips mine tighter, her ring cutting into my flesh.
“You need this and so does he,” she voices softly, her eyes pleading with mine.
I am staring at the ground when the music starts, I cannot look at him…not yet. I close my eyes and allow myself to listen. My heart is jackhammering all the way in my ears.
His harsh, throaty, tone wails into the mic, and I start to drown in my own tears.
"I had a girl…she gave me everything and I threw it away
I can still smell her on my sheets and feel her fingers in my hair
God, I remember the way she’d smile, and it makes me wanna die
One question…one lie…I knew she was done
She took the knife and cut away half of my soul
Watching her walk away made me wanna die
I had a girl…Being without her makes me wanna die
Would have married her and gave her everything
She said we could never be
I’d give anything to take it all back
I would have told the truth from the very start
But never means never
Time doesn’t rewind
She let me go
Never means never”
The crowd is going crazy all around me, and I feel like I am trapped, unable to move as they all are moving in fast forward.
He sings a few other songs, and I can feel his eyes on me, but I still don’t even dare to glance at him. The music speaks to my soul. He’s good, like really good. A part of me wants to climb up on stage and shove my tongue down his throat. Then the other part of me wants to run away from here as fast as I can and never look back.
Not once did he ever come back for me or try to explain. Kai didn’t fight for me…he let me go too.
“Killing me, Kat
Want you so bad, Kat
Your smile is my number one addiction
Making you laugh is my obsession
You promised me wild horses
Killing me, Kat
Want you so bad, Kat”
Hearing those words, words I have longed to hear for so long, makes my eyes pop open. My skin is on fire as I tremble and shake. Those green eyes that have haunted my every thought are bearing down on me. He looks older now. More like a man. His once smooth baby face now has a goatee and a mustache that almost hides the dimples that own me. He is thicker with more muscle tone defining his tall stature. His hair has grown a bit longer, reaching his chin. My fingers ache to run through his silky strands.
His body is making love to the microphone stand as he moves around the stage, but his eyes never leave mine. His legs wrap around the pole the way they used to get tangled with mine. My thighs clench and my heart aches. Sweat trickles down the small of back…my body remembers every touch…every bite…every lick.
If it were possible for two people to hate fuck with their eyes, that is what Kai and I are doing to each other right now.
I lick my lips, wishing his tongue were touching mine. His hips thrust and dear God, I can almost feel him between my legs. Every fiber of my being needs him to put me out of my misery and just fucking touch me…something…anything.
Dear God, I need him.
I am snapped from my Kai induced trance when Stewart taps my shoulder. I had forgotten he was even here.
“You’re Kai Cooper’s regret, aren’t you? You’re The Suffocation of Katie.” He looks at me expectantly with puppy dog eyes. I can only nod as my eyes fight and claw their way back to Kai Cooper and his hypnotic voice that is taking me prisoner. I briefly hear the words, “I never stood a chance,” muttered from Stewart.
This is why I have denied myself anything Kai Cooper related for the past year. I become so lost in him I forget to breathe, because when we are together I don’t even need air. He is my air.
And then he is gone from the stage. Ripped away from my view.
Chapter 29
That’s it? After a year, he has nothing to say to me? Nothing.
“Come on.” Penny is tugging me forward. The security guard from earlier lifts us over the barricade easily. I am just going through the motions. I am still standing back there feeling as if I am in heaven and hell hearing his voice.
I don’t even register where my feet are taking me, I feel so far away from my body. Why did Penny bring me here to bring me face to face with my pain?
When I come to, I am walking up the steps inside a tour bus. I jerk my hand from Penny’s and sta
rt to turn away.
“I can’t, Penny. I can’t see him. I’m not ready. I can’t.”
“You can, and you will. You need to see him, and he needs to see you. You are both miserable. Whether you fuck or fight, I don’t care, but I am sick of watching you waste away.”
“Fine, I might actually be dead right now just so you know.”
Vance and Hunter are sitting at a small table drinking beers. Their faces light up when they see Penny. She goes over and squishes herself between the pair. They are already fighting for her attention just like old times.
Jake pokes his head out from a refrigerator. He smiles at me. “Hey, Katie.”
“Hey, Jake. Been a while, huh?”
He gives me a hug.
“Hey, Katie,” Vance says, looking devious. He scrubs his fingers over his dragon tattoo on his head. “Did you bring your purse?”
“No, why?”
“Just thought maybe it was where you’ve been keeping Kai’s dick.” He starts laughing and I shake my head. Good to know he hasn’t changed.
I feel another set of eyes on me. I look down the narrow hall of the bus. Kai is standing in the doorway of what I assume to be the bedroom. He isn’t wearing a shirt and he looks so damn sexy. It would be so easy to run straight to him and jump in his arms. He is staring at me his eyes mixed with desire, hurt, and anger.
Jake nudges me forward toward Kai. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want…what he wants. But my soul is screaming to be reunited with its other half. My feet move at their own accord.
I slowly walk toward him. My chest is tight, and my heart is burning with desire. I’m on fire. He just stands there staring at me. When I reach him, he doesn’t say anything. He swallows hard, and I just want to reach over and touch him…something. I feel like I am dreaming, and he may disappear.
He reaches his hand up, slowly fingering the pendant hanging around my neck, and I might die. He smiles slightly, popping his dimples out. He lets go of the diamond horse and trails his finger along my collarbone, leaving a trail of fire behind his stroke.
“You’re really here,” he finally says something.
Falling For The Bad Boy Page 18