“No arguments,” she said, her voice sharper than she’d intended. Maggie’s heart clutched at the stricken look on her son’s face.
Blinking hard, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, Kevin hurried from the room, leaving behind a stunned silence.
Maggie stared at her son’s empty seat, letting the melting Popsicles drip onto her fingers, too embarrassed to face Jason. She didn’t want to witness the condemnation in his eyes.
Finally Jason shifted in his seat. The legs of his chair scraped against the linoleum floor. She heard the slow inhalation of his breath, then, “Maggie, I—”
“Excuse me,” she said in a rush, not letting him finish. She turned and dropped the Popsicles into the empty side of the double sink, running water onto her sticky fingers. Snapping the tap off with a flick of her wrist, she drew in a deep breath, then turned to face him. “I—I need to talk to my son.”
Not waiting for a response, she left the room, desperate to put a distance between her and Jason. No matter how much she wanted to explain, she knew she would never be able to tell him the truth. He could never know the real reason behind their frequent moves.
He, of all people, could never be privy to the secrets that held her and Kevin hostage.
Cold water dribbled onto his hands, chilling him. But it was a minor inconvenience compared to the ache in his heart. Jason held the melting ice pack tightly in his fist and stared at the empty doorway, uncertain what to do next.
Obviously he’d stepped into the middle of a family crisis. The wisest course of action would be to pick himself up and leave Maggie to sort through the problem herself. But no one had ever said he was a smart man, especially when it came to matters of the heart.
For some reason, he just couldn’t abandon her or Kevin. Not when the pair was so troubled. Not when Maggie looked so miserable, so ashamed.
No matter what she thought, he knew she wasn’t a bad mom. Nor was she prone to making quick, unjust judgments. Until tonight, she’d been the most even-tempered woman he’d ever met. Which made her snapping at her son so much more confusing.
The rebuke had been unnecessary. They’d been talking about Chicago. His former home. A city where the Cubs played baseball. Then Kevin said he never wanted to move again. And Maggie...
Jason sighed. Maggie went ballistic.
Restlessly he rose to his feet, ignoring the dull throbbing of his head. He crossed to the sink, dumping the ice cubes next to the abandoned Popsicles. Turning on the water, he flushed the entire mess down the sink, then tossed the Popsicle sticks into the trash
He leaned against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest and tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Every time he tried to question Maggie about her past, he saw the door shutting, the protective walls going up around her. The cop in him wondered why. The man in him couldn’t help but feel frustrated.
For every step forward they made in their relationship, Maggie took two steps back. He hadn’t imagined the pull of attraction between the two of them. Sparks flew whenever they were within ten feet of each other. Yet, despite all of that, she seemed determined to keep him at arm’s length.
But not this time.
Jason pushed himself away from the counter and returned to his seat at the table, settling himself in for the long haul. This time he wasn’t going to let her push him away.
It was nearly a half an hour before Maggie reappeared. During that time, he’d heard the soothing sound of her voice and knew she was patching things up with her boy. Counting down the minutes, he’d paced the floor, returned to his seat, then paced the floor some more. He nearly lost his nerve, changing his mind at least a dozen times, telling himself it wasn’t too late to leave and give them their privacy.
But the memory of the look on Maggie’s face when she’d disappeared through the doorway stopped him. That guilty look of shame. He knew in his heart he couldn’t leave until she faced him again. Or it would be too easy for her to disappear from his life. Like a puff of smoke, she’d be impossible to hold on to.
Now her footstep faltered when she spotted him sitting at the kitchen table. She stood in the doorway, seeming surprised to see him still there. He was certain she was poised on the brink of turning around and escaping.
“How’s Kevin?” he asked, taking the bull by the horns.
“H-he’s fine,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. Her eyes were red, the skin beneath splotched, proof that she’d recently been crying. She shifted her gaze, looking too embarrassed to face him. Instead, she stared at a point beyond his shoulder.
A sledgehammer of emotion hit him squarely in the gut, making it hard to draw a breath. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to stand up and reach out to her, to try to console her.
“Maggie,” he said. Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him, he willed himself to say the right thing. “I know how hard it is to raise a child. Sometimes, when a person’s tired, they say things they don’t really mean.”
Maggie remained stubbornly mute.
He didn’t let her silence deter him. Keeping his voice even, his tone soothing, he said, “Kevin’s a smart boy. I’m sure he doesn’t expect his mother to be perfect all the time.”
Maggie rolled her eyes, giving a mirthless smile. “I’m far from perfect.”
“Maybe not, but you are a good mom.”
She looked at him, finally meeting his gaze. “And how do you know that?”
“Because I’ve seen you with Kevin. I’ve seen the love in your eyes when you look at him. And I’ve seen the care with which you treat him. He’s a lucky boy to have you for a mother.”
“Not so lucky.” Tears misted her eyes. Maggie blinked hard, staving off the flow. “He deserves much more.”
Jason pushed himself to his feet, the chair scraping against the linoleum floor. He took a step toward her, then stopped at the alarmed expression on her face.
“He’s got your love, Maggie,” Jason reminded her, unable to keep the frustration from his voice. “What more could you give him?”
“It’s not that simple.” she said, raking a wayward strand of hair from her eyes. “Kevin...he hasn’t had it easy. Not since—” She stopped abruptly, the light fading from her eyes.
“Since your husband died?” he prompted, desperate to keep her from withdrawing.
She didn’t answer. She refused to look at him.
“Kevin’s not the only one who hasn’t had it easy,” he reminded her. “Is that why you’ve had to move so often? Because times were tough? Were you looking for a job?” Or were you just trying to run away from the past? Wisely the last question remained unspoken. Her silence was unbearable. He took another step toward her. “Maggie, talk to me.”
“I—I can’t,” she said, the words so quiet he could barely hear them.
Frustration churned inside him. Refusing to back down, he closed the gap between them until they were mere inches apart. “Why not, Maggie? What’s so bad that you can’t talk about it?”
She shook her head, refusing to say a word.
His voice gentled. “Don’t you see? I care about you. I just want to help.” He reached out a hand and stroked the velvety smooth skin of her cheek.
Maggie flinched at his touch. Panic filled her eyes. Pushing herself away from the door frame, she looked ready to flee.
“Maggie, don’t...” His voice broke. The words caught in his throat. “Don’t leave me, not yet.”
She hesitated, clinging to the door frame and looking at him with wide-eyed uncertainty.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. I just...” Frustrated with himself, with the hopelessness of the situation, he shoved his hands in his pockets and released a sighing breath.
He’d tried to take things slow. He’d tried to be patient. But all he ever seemed to accomplish was to scare her away.
Perhaps it was time for honesty.
He looked into her eyes, almost
losing his nerve at the wariness in her gaze. “Maggie, I’m not going to lie to you. The truth is, I’m attracted to you. I’ve never felt this way before. Whenever I’m near you, I want to touch you, to hold you.” He swore softly beneath his breath. “Dammit, Maggie, I want to make love to you.”
She held herself unnaturally still, like a deer caught in headlights, facing down certain disaster.
“And I don’t think it’s my imagination—or wishful thinking—but I believe you feel the same way,” he said, unable to keep the challenge from his tone.
He paused for a steadying breath, waiting for her to respond. She neither confirmed nor denied the statement.
Encouraged, he said gently, “I’m not your late husband, Maggie. I never have and I never will hurt a woman. Right now, all I want to do is kiss you. If you’ve got a problem with that, just tell me.” He pointed at the screen door leading outside to the night-darkened yard. “Because if you do, I’ll walk straight out that door without another argument. And we’ll just forget this whole thing ever happened.”
Maggie swallowed hard, a battle obviously being fought behind those beautiful green eyes of hers.
Jason held his breath and waited.
Finally she cleared her throat. Her gaze flitted over him. She looked as nervous as he felt. “I guess I...I don’t really want you to go, either. Not yet, anyway.”
Jason gave a silent prayer of relief. He stared at her, not sure what to do next Now that he’d been given permission to indulge his wants, he hadn’t a clue where to begin. Feeling as awkward as a teenager on a first date, he couldn’t decide what to do with his hands. Although he’d like nothing more than to pull her into his arms and hold her tight, he was almost afraid to touch her. To do anything that might scare her away.
Instead, he hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans. With the chasteness of a proper first kiss, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. And it was enough. It was everything he’d imagined and more.
Her lips were soft and full, warm to his touch. Other than a tiny breath of surprise when their mouths met, she didn’t fight off his advances. Instead, once the deed was done, she seemed to relax, accepting the inevitable.
Still not touching her, Jason deepened the kiss. He angled his head for better access to her mouth. Maggie matched his move with one of her own. She tilted her chin upward and let the pressure build between them.
At the brush of his tongue, her lips parted. And he sought the sweet heat of her mouth. Moaning softly, Maggie placed a hand on his shoulder. To steady herself or to push him away, he wasn’t sure which.
Not giving her a chance to do the latter, Jason untangled his hands from their self-imposed handcuffs and reached for her. He pulled her toward him.
Her body tensed for just a moment. Then, with a breathy sigh, she relaxed. She melted against him, letting him support her slender weight. Her breasts felt warm and heavy against his chest. Her stomach grazed his zipper, making the heat pool in his groin and his body harden in response.
Jason groaned. He felt weak with desire. Stepping back slightly, he sought the solid strength of the door frame, needing its support to hold him. Then they broke apart.
Gasping for air, their chests rising and falling with the effort, they stared at each other. To his relief, instead of fear, passion glittered in Maggie’s eyes.
Then, with a contented smile, he pulled her back into the circle of his arms. Indulging himself, he sampled her mouth again. He nibbled at the corners of her lips, moving restlessly across one lightly freckled cheek, seeking the sensitive skin beneath her earlobe.
She dropped her chin, closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath.
Jason buried his fingers in the silky strands of strawberry blond hair, lifting her face to his for another kiss. When he hesitated, she opened her eyes, looking confused.
He grazed her lips with his, then before he lost his nerve, he said, “You are so beautiful. I want you, Maggie. I want to know everything there is about you—and that includes your past.”
He felt her body tense, the intimacy of the moment slipping away. Her brow wrinkled into a worried frown. She brought a hand between them, placing it on his chest, trying to push him away. Her withdrawal felt like a slap on the face. “Jason, I can’t—”
“I know, I know, it’s too soon,” he whispered. Stubbornly he pulled her closer, unable to face the recoil he knew would be in her eyes. He brushed his whiskery cheek against hers, relishing the delicate softness of her skin. “Someday, whenever you’re ready...I just don’t want you ever to feel ashamed or that you can’t talk to me. Trust me, Maggie, there’s nothing you can tell me that I haven’t already heard. I’m not here to pass judgment. I just want to help you.”
Before she could protest, he kissed her deeply. His demands were gentle yet urgent, revealing all his fears for their uncertain future. Long before he’d had his fill, he ended the kiss and looked into her eyes. There he saw myriad telling emotions: uncertainty, disappointment, but most devastating of all, fear.
Unexpected anger flared in him. Not at Maggie, for she was an innocent, unable to control the circumstances that had led to this situation. His anger was directed at a man who was long gone. A man unable to answer to his crimes.
With his death, Maggie’s late husband had taken away the most precious gift any man could give the woman he cared about—trust.
Even in the most intimate of situations, Jason could feel the gap loom between them. Was he fighting a hopeless battle? Would there ever come a time when Maggie would let down her guard and give herself completely to him?
Suddenly, with a trembling hand, Maggie reached out, tenderly touching the forgotten bump on his cheek. “You’re going to have an ugly bruise.”
“It won’t be the first”
She smiled. And he studied her lips, now swollen from his kisses. “Thank you.”.
He frowned, feeling confused.
“For being so patient with Kevin...and me.” A flush of color touched her cheeks. “You’ve been a good...”
She hesitated.
Jason lifted a brow. “Neighbor?”
“No, friend,” she said, her tone sincere. Her face softened as she amended her statement. “Much more than a friend.”
Jason felt the stirrings of hope. It wasn’t much. But for now it would have to do.
“You’re making it hard for me to say good-night, Maggie.” He brushed the tips of his fingers over her cheek.
For once, she didn’t flinch at his touch. Instead, her smile deepened. “Good night, Jason.”
He struggled to keep from pulling her into his arms and not ever letting go. With all the strength he could muster, he left her then, with only the memory of her smile to keep him warm that night.
Chapter 9
“So what do you think?” Jenny Lewis pointed to a picture in the bridal magazine. “Yellow or blue?”
“Hmm, I don’t know.” Maggie frowned, studying the picture, finding it hard to concentrate on picking out a bridesmaid’s dress. Especially since buying an expensive dress might be a waste of money. She still doubted the wedding between Jenny and Joe Bosworth would take place.
“Mrs. Bosworth said this is absolutely the last day to order the dresses if we want them to be in before the wedding,” Jenny said, her expression worried. “If we wait any longer, it might be too late.”
The bell above the diner’s entrance sounded. New customers filtered into the diner. The lunch hour was beginning.
Maggie sighed. “Why don’t you just pick one, Jenny? As long as it isn’t hot pink and doesn’t clash with my hair, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Dot ambled over, bumping Maggie aside with her hip. She eyed the magazine and arched a brow. “If you want my opinion, you should go with something a little flashier. Something with sequins or lace. That dress is plain boring.”
“It’s not boring,” Jenny protested. “Joe’s momma says it’s tasteful.”
“So’s one of M
el’s blueberry pies. But that doesn’t mean I want to wear it.”
Maggie bit her lip, smothering a smile.
Jenny scowled, raising her chin in indignation. “Dot, you’re not helping at all. Every time I tell you the wedding plans, you’ve got one smart comment after another.”
“If they were your wedding plans and not Mrs. High-and-Mighty Bosworth’s, I’d keep my lip buttoned,” Dot said, shaking her head in disgust. “That woman’s got you hopping every time she snaps her fingers. Honey, you’re bending over backwards to do everything she wants. Don’t you want your wedding to be special? To be all yours?”
Jenny’s lower lip trembled and tears brimmed in her eyes. The heat of her self-righteous anger fizzling fast, she glanced around the diner, lowering her voice so she wouldn’t be overheard. “I don’t have a choice, Dot. The Bosworths are paying for the wedding. You know I couldn’t afford to do this on my own.”
“I don’t care if the Bosworths are footin’ the bill. It still don’t make it right. You should have some say in the plannin’ of your own wedding.” Dot tapped an impatient foot on the tiled floor. A stubborn scowl pursed her lips. “Tell her I’m right, Maggie.”
Maggie shifted uncomfortably. Too many bitter memories were associated with her own wedding. She didn’t want her disappointing experience to cast a pall on her young friend’s special day. “It’s not my decision. It’s Jenny’s.”
Jenny stared at the bridal magazine, a distant look in her eye. “I’ve always dreamed of having a big church wedding. You know the kind, me in a gorgeous white gown, tons of flowers and candles around and organ music playing in the background.” Her lips trembled as she gave a wan smile. “Well, this is my chance. My dream come true.”
Maggie’s heart thudded hollowly. She shot a worried glance at Dot. For once, the blond waitress looked at a loss for words. Even she couldn’t bear to burst Jenny’s bubble, no matter how misguided the young girl’s intentions might be.
The doorbell jangled again.
Maggie looked up to see Jason, accompanied by Officer Stan Wilson, walk into the diner. Her pulse quickened. A familiar warmth sifted through her veins as memories of their kiss flashed through her mind.
Her Second Chance Family Page 12