Doing so, however, would only put my life at risk.
“Kyran!” Alexis laid Kyran flat on his back moments before Marquis, Josephine, Simone, and Dario rushed out of the kitchen, surrounding them within seconds.
In utter disbelief of what I’d just seen, I started down the stairs again, but a hand on my arm stopped me. I turned back abruptly to see Gage holding me in place.
“Kyran!” I said, bordering on desperation. “Something’s wrong with him.”
“Don’t go down there,” Gage warned. “Kyran wouldn’t want you to see him like that.”
“Like what?” I asked, turning my attention back to the group of people gathered around Kyran. From my position, I couldn’t see Kyran’s face, but I could make out Alexi’s hands holding his brother’s shoulders down.
“Kyran, don’t fight it off,” Marquis advised.
“He has to.” Alexis glanced up to look at his older brother. “We’re not alone.”
Just then, Simone turned to Gage and me. “Please, just take her away.”
Panic gripped my insides. “What’s happening to him? Is he having a relapse?”
Gage pulled on my arm, drawing me up to the hallway. “It’s difficult to explain.”
I struggled to break away from Gage’s hold, but he was so much stronger than I was.
“Tell me,” I demanded.
“Let’s get some walls in between Kyran and you first.”
“No.” I would’ve flown down the stairs given the chance, but Gage picked me up and carried me across the hall to Josephine’s room, where he deposited me gently on the bed in spite of all my protests.
“Why did you do that?” I stood up almost as soon as he settled me on the mattress. “Now you’re just showing off! Throwing your obvious height and weight advantage around. That was hardly fair.”
Gage didn’t answer, but instead walked over to the door and closed it.
“You left me no choice.”
“Gage?”
He turned to me, crossing two muscled arms over his chest. I was going nowhere. Not with Gage standing in between me and the only exit.
“Trust me, Kyran will be more at ease if you’re here instead of by his side.”
I forced myself off the bed. “Are you freaking kidding me? Did you see him? He...looked like he was having some form of...seizure.”
“He’s had at least one of them every few hours.”
I stared blankly at him. “One every few hours? Kyran, as far as I knew, had no seizures.”
“He doesn’t want you to know, but there really is no point in keeping it from you.” Gage took two steps forward. “We have come to learn that fighting the counter-effects of bloodlust can present its fair share of problems. Kyran, hoping to learn how to control his episodes, fought the urge to shift, but in doing so, he’s somehow made it worse. Now he’s suffering from episodes a few times a day as opposed to once or twice a week.”
Kyran had tried to control his bloodlust? He’d chosen some other means?
“Bray says the only way a blood lusting werewolf can learn how to control their weekly episodes is by a long term discipline acquired through many years of practice. He believes Kyran has inadvertently altered his entire defense system and it’s turning on him. ”
The anger I felt over being tossed here and there without a care as to what I wanted melted away as Gage explained Kyran’s current situation.
My life might be going to hell in a heartbeat, but there was someone suffering more than I was. And for far longer at that. Kyran’s misery began years ago and it showed no signs of abating. It was the exact opposite actually. Now it had taken a deadly turn for the worse.
“Why would he do that?” Shock. That was the best way to describe what I felt. I’d thought Kyran had selfishly thought of me as nothing but a potential cure, and it turned out he’d tried finding release from his eternal torment elsewhere.
“Perhaps to see if he, too, could find another way.”
Another way. Others could control their bloodlust. Not all werewolves suffered from it, but the few who did had discovered a way to cope. Kyran’s journey, however, hadn’t quite gotten there yet.
“Why is it so hard for Kyran?” I sat back down on Josephine’s bed.
“Kyran’s bloodlust is made worse by the fact that he’s never given in. With each episode, his body practically rips inside out. When the beast emerges, he’s not Kyran anymore. This is when he craves the impossible even more. He’s always fought it until the pressure becomes too much. Then he deals with the ravages of the hunger the best way he knows how.”
“How is that?”
“Self-harm,” Gage replied, bringing his eyebrows together. I could see this wasn’t an easy topic for him either, and it made total sense that the Rousseaus avoided talking about Kyran and his condition.
“This is why you lock him in the cellar.”
“We have to. When he can’t take the pain, he turns his anger on himself. There’s also the chance that he can run off and.... He can’t control himself when the bloodlust overtakes him, Marjorie. He can’t rationalize as we do. He can’t control his impulses.”
A sharp, gut-twisting wave of heat shot up to my chest from my stomach. Kyran had never explained in detail what his life was like during his worst moments. Envisioning him enduring that kind of torture.... It tugged at my heart.
“So his body is basically shutting down now, stopping both the man and the beast from taking charge.”
“It looks that way. Albeit, Bray says it will pass.”
It would pass, but for how long? “He never fought the change before?”
“Not entirely. Not like this.”
I looked at my leg brace. My pain dulled in comparison with his. Mine would also pass. I’d get better, walk without a problem eventually, but Kyran’s problems only grew.
“But this new setback can affect his function.”
With his functionality affected, how would he protect himself? What if he passed out during a fight? What would the rogue pack to do him then?
“He’s not fully operational when he’s under the bloodlust spell either, Marjorie,” Gage tried to rationalize.
I glanced up at him. “The night Santos attacked, Kyran could have hurt me, but he didn’t.”
Gage allowed his arms to drop to his sides. “What are you getting at?”
He tossed me a sympathetic look, as if he was waiting for me to get all hope I had on Kyran out of my system.
“You just said Kyran is not himself when he’s under whatever it is that possesses him, but maybe we’re all underestimating him. He could have finished me off that night. He got to me first, but he went straight for Santos instead. He didn’t lose his focus.”
Gage seemed to ponder my words for a moment. “It could have been instinct. We have a strong instinct to protect those we love. It’s basic, but it could have been enough.”
“Okay, a basic instinct to protect those you love, right? That was his focus. He knew he had to protect me so he kept that in his head. Kyran has to have some form of rationalization in order for him to be aware that he needs to protect someone he cares for.”
“Perhaps, but we don’t know for sure. Kyran doesn’t exactly share what is in his head—especially during his most vulnerable moments.”
“Is there a chance we could put this theory to the test?” I was willing to see how I could help Kyran. While it was true that not long ago I was driven by anger over being cheated out of a true, bilateral relationship with the Rousseaus, when it came down to what really mattered, Kyran deserved a chance at a normal life—or as normal as it would be minus the bloodlust.
“We already tried. That’s what provoked these unusual side effects.”
I sighed. The key to Kyran’s cure could be in my blood, but we had no guarantees my unique DNA could help him get better.
It was worth a try though. He was worth a try.
“I need to make a phone call.”
***
Minutes later, I sat on Josephine’s bed with my cell phone in hand, looking at the number on the screen as if it was getting ready to come out and bite me.
Gage had brought my suitcase up, along with my crutches, and after retrieving my ever-durable cell, I dialed Bray’s number and asked him to meet me first thing in the morning. I wanted to discuss the possibility of going in search of Mom. Though I didn’t know him, something deep within me told me I could trust him.
I also wanted to talk over what needed to be done in order to make Kyran’s life a little easier. Thinking about it, I determined it was still best for me to leave, but not before I helped Kyran out first. I owed him. After all, he killed to save my life. If that wasn’t an unselfish act, I wasn’t sure what was.
The following phone call wasn’t going to go as smoothly. I didn’t think anyway, which was why I hesitated for a good five minutes, unsure as to whether or not it was a good time to bring it up. I knew I had to. I couldn’t just disappear without an explanation. Mom had done it and it broke our hearts. Repaying Dad with the same treatment wasn’t just unfair, it was cruel.
Finally finding enough courage to press the green button, I waited, anxiously, for my dad to pick up.
Three rings later, a concerned voice answered. “Marjorie? Are you at the Rousseaus?”
Sighing, I replied, “Hi, Dad. Yes, I’m over at the Rousseaus.”
“When were you sent home?” he immediately asked.
“This morning. I couldn’t find it in me to stay in there one more day,” I added casually, trying my best to sound as if I wasn’t about to drop a bomb on him.
“Why didn’t you call? I was worried.”
Being that I had a couple of missed calls and text messages from him that went unanswered, I realized I should’ve called first thing in the morning. But I’d been so preoccupied with what awaited me at the Rousseaus that it never crossed my mind.
“I kind of dozed off after breakfast, Dad. I’m on heavy meds for the pain and they really knock me out.” Mentioning the medicines reminded me it was about time I took my afternoon dose. “How is everyone?”
“Anxious to get back home.”
“Does that mean Sandra is doing better?”
He sighed into the receiver. “She is. Turns out she’s not in metastasis as the doctors originally thought. She wasn’t feeling very well, but all tests confirmed she’s free of cancer. For now anyway.”
My heart skipped a beat. Although I was happy to hear my stepmother’s sister was in fact, regaining her health that also meant my family would probably head on home sooner.
“So, uh, when are you coming back home?”
“In a couple of days.”
My heart sank. I had to get out of the area sooner. Much, much sooner. I sucked up my despair, and decided to proceed with my plan.
“Dad, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Marjie, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, concerned.
“I’m all right, Dad.”
“You sound...different,” he pointed out. Maybe he could read more into me than I ever thought he could.
“Yeah, it’s just that...this isn’t really easy to say,” I said, barely above a whisper.
“What is? Are you uncomfortable with the Rousseaus? Because I can always head on home this afternoon, pick you up, and bring you here.”
“No. That’s not it. The Rousseaus have been nothing but hospitable, Dad.”
“Then...what’s on your mind, kiddo?”
Kiddo? When was the last time he called me that? Oh, right. We used to have a very nice, close-knit relationship up until I screwed things up by behaving like a total ungrateful brat.
“Dad, I’m...going to try to find Mom.” I sucked in some air, waiting for him to blow a gasket or something, but he didn’t.
“What? Marjorie, you’re mom vanished. How are you going to search for her? Where? The police couldn’t find her. The PI I hired couldn’t find her.” He sounded very calm. That unnerved me a bit. He tended to overreact over these kinds of things.
“Well, they didn’t have the information I have, Dad.”
“I’m not sure I follow. Explain how you’re going on a wild goose hunt without taking into consideration that no one has seen or heard of your mother for years, and—you have a life here. What about college? Us?” he asked, his voice finally giving away the depth of his anxieties.
I could tell his concerns went deeper than just anger over my unreasonable decision. He was worried about me, as I would expect a caring parent to be. I couldn’t imagine it being easy to hear me say I was going to some unknown destination so soon after being hospitalized for a supposed accident I never suffered, in search of someone who probably didn’t want to be found.
Knowing Dad, I wouldn’t put it past him to believe this was some form of defiance on my part, or maybe, me acting out again. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Aside from having the need to find Mom and put some distance between Kyran and me, I couldn’t stay so close to my family knowing the risks that could put them in.
“Dad, can you please hear me out first?”
“Marjorie—”
“Please, Dad. Hear me out.”
He huffed in what I could imagine was an act of frustration. “Is this some kind of phase? Like those drinking binges and joy riding you used to partake in?”
I was half expecting that. “No. Dad. It’s nothing like that.”
He didn’t say anything for what seemed like forever. Until, finally, he let out some air and broke the lack of communication between us by saying, “I’m listening.”
“I found out some facts about Mom that neither the police nor the PI had. That and I uncovered a family member.”
“How did you manage to do that? The police—”
“I know what you’re going to say. The police couldn’t find anything about her. The PI wasn’t successful either, but I wasn’t working alone. Well, to be honest the Rousseaus were the ones who did most of the uncovering.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. The Rousseaus had been the ones who’d bumped into Bray and therefore had been the first to find out about Mom, but those were facts I couldn’t share with my dad.
He would never understand.
“I think I might know where Mom is and why she left me. Us. I need to go talk to her. Find out for sure.” In reality, I had no clue where my mom was, but it didn’t matter. If she was alive out there somewhere, I’d find her. I had to.
“Even if you do find her, why would you want to put yourself through that kind of pain? What if she rejects you, Marjorie? All this time she’s never bothered to contact you. Leaving me was one thing but you’re her daughter. Her flesh and blood.”
“I know, Dad. I get what you’re trying to say, but I need to hear it from her.”
“What if you don’t like what she has to say?” He was growing more and more exasperated. He didn’t want me to get hurt. He didn’t want me to alter my life in order to find a mother who probably didn’t want anything to do with me, but what he didn’t know was that staying could ruin his life. Or put my family’s lives in danger.
“I probably won’t like what she has to say. I know that, but I need closure. Remember how upset you were when Mom left? And you couldn’t find her? You wondered every day where she was. Why she left the way she did. It took some time for you to accept that she wasn’t coming back and move on. I haven’t moved on, Dad. I think about her all the time and I need to know for sure what happened.”
He kept quiet for a few seconds, probably pondering what I’d just said.
“Dad? Are you there?” I asked when he showed no signs of responding.
“I’m here.” I could hear the girls in the background. Listening to the sound of the girls giggling made me yearn for home, for my family—the family I was being forced to leave behind in order to protect. “What about school? You’re half way through your second year of college. You’ve just caught up with all the work that
you were behind after your accident and now...you’re going away?”
“I won’t be gone for long.” I lied. “Just a few weeks.”
“Aren’t you in a relationship with that Rousseau guy? What’s his name?”
“I’ve already talked it over with him and he’s fine with my decision. It’s not like I’m not coming back.”
“He’s not going with you?”
“No, Dad. He’s not.”
“You’re going alone?”
“I can fend for myself, Dad.”
“No, Marjorie. This isn’t something I’m comfortable with at all. Especially if you’re going to be out there with no one nearby in case something does happen.”
This wasn’t going well. I had to convince him I’d be fine on my own.
“Mom’s cousin is going with me,” I blurted.
“I don’t like this. He’s a stranger. You don’t even know if he’s someone you can trust.”
“Dad—”
“Why don’t you take some time to think this over? Wait until I get back home and we can discuss it further.”
“I’ve already thought about it plenty,” I replied sharply. “I’ll be back in six weeks. Sooner if I find her.”
Even as I said that, I wasn’t sure that was a promise I could make. Things weren’t looking up for me and could get more difficult as time progressed. If things took a turn for the worse, I may not see my family again for a long while.
“I’m going so that I can put this behind me. If I don’t find her then I’ll just have to accept that she left and didn’t care enough to look back. Until then, I’m determined to follow through.”
Dad cleared his throat. “I don’t want you to go, but...I can’t stop you. You’re an adult.”
“This is important to me,” I pleaded softly.
“I know it is. I’m just not comfortable with this. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt. Again.”
“I’m mentally prepared for that.” The lies were just flowing out as if I’d rehearsed them. “I know I might have to face things that will make me more than a little uncomfortable, but if there’s something the accident taught me, it was to face the consequences of my actions with dignity. If I find that Mom doesn’t want anything to do with me—never did, then that’s just something I’m going to have to swallow. At least, I’ll have closure.”
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