“No, they were made for sitting not laying.” Sasha moved over and patted the now empty space next to her on the bed.
“Oh, does the patient feel frisky?”
With a laugh she shook her head no. “Not even close to it but I do like when you’re close to me. I was never in any danger, why didn’t you go back to the hotel to sleep and freshen up? How did you even convince the staff to let you stay?”
Nick lay on his side so they were facing each other. “I told them I was your husband and that ring on your finger cemented it. I didn’t go back to the hotel because….ok I’ll be honest I was actually comfortable in the chair.”
“Liar.”
Nick moved his fingers gently across her bruised cheek. “Ok, I stayed because I love you.”
Sasha wasn’t used to hearing those words and while her heart raced her brain still needed to know the truth. “Are you sure you’re not just saying that because of all the action in the last few days? Fear can be mistaken for a lot of things.”
“I realized it before you were kidnapped and before we slept together if you think that altered my emotions next. I’m not saying it so that you say it back, its ok.”
“You don’t think it’s too soon?”
“Who says?”
“I don’t know. Yeah, we’ve known each other for a year and some change but it’s only been about the last two weeks we’ve been able to go without picking a fight.” Sasha was scared and she knew she wasn’t doing a good job at hiding it. She didn’t want to have her heart broken.
“It doesn’t feel too soon for me because I’ve had a thing for you for awhile now and I’ve always cared about your well being.” Nick always spoke with confidence, no doubts whatsoever in his voice.
“Awhile?”
“Like I said in the car after that dreadful party I never saw you as one of the guys, I’ve always noticed you from the very minute Pete introduced us. Attraction doesn’t mean love but wanting to spend every day right here staring at you and wanting to give you the world does.” Nick rested his forehead against her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, Sasha.”
Her eyes fell closed as he figured out exactly what she was scared of. “Sometimes we don’t have a say. My parents and Carolyn didn’t have a say.” She silently wept for them, their faces all so clear in her memories.
“You can’t shut yourself off in hopes of protecting your heart from death. Instead of fearing the worse think about all the good we can have together.” His hand tightened around her waist, urging her to hear his words.
“I’m not going to push you away because I don’t even know how to. I do want to be happy, Nick.”
“That’s all we need and we can figure out whatever comes our way as it happens.”
Dr. Tyler checked in on her after dinner and explained she could go home tomorrow morning now that they were sure all the drugs were gone from her system. She and Nick spent the rest of the night curled up in that hospital bed together eating take-out Gage dropped off and watching every movie they found on the 13 inch screen the hospital provided. It was the first time Sasha believed tomorrow was possible even with all the horror of the last two days.
The morning came quick and with it Sasha was anxious to get out of the hospital. She washed up and dressed while her sign out papers were being gathered. She stood in the bathroom and reached into the bag of things Nick picked up for her. Zebra undies, black bra, and a blue dress. “You ass.” With only the hospital gown as her only option she shrugged her shoulders and made up her mind to wear the dress.
After changing into the zebra print undies she encountered a problem. There was no hooking a bra with only one working arm. She called Nick for help and he was more than happy to oblige. The dress was easier because her cast covered her hand and forearm where she could fit it through the sleeve.
After signing all the necessary paperwork Sasha had one more stop to make in the hospital before leaving to make the arrangements for Carolyn’s funeral. She couldn’t continue to forget about them in hopes that would make the reality disappear.
Wes wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital any time soon but he looked pretty good in his hospital bed with his eyes open.
Sasha explained. “I couldn’t go without seeing you first. A US Marshal gave me these flowers and they brightened up my room. I want them to do the same for you.”
“Pink has always been my color. Are you doing ok?”
“My arm needs a few weeks to heal but that’s the worst of it. The cuts and bruises look worse than they are. When I heard that gunshot I thought you were gone.”
“So did I but it turns out he was better with knives than guns.”
“I’m so sorry for not believing you sooner and wasting time getting out of that basement.”
“Nothing that happened was your fault. Jeff, Jim, whatever the hell his name is now, he did all of this. He killed Candy and Carolyn, we didn’t.” Wes was struggling with his own guilt and trying to find those perfect words that erased the self hating emotion. Sasha was still looking for those magic words herself. “What’s next?” he asked.
“If he doesn’t plead guilty he’ll go on trial for all the murders he’s committed. It’ll be a long process but he’ll be in prison for every step of it.”
“What’s next with you? You probably can’t wait to leave town.”
“You’re right but my sister always loved it here and she’d want to be buried beside our parents. After the funeral is taken care of I’ll be going.”
“I’ll miss you.”
Sasha took his hand. “I’ll miss you too. You were the only person in this town that didn’t make me cringe with memories.” She kissed his cheek goodbye and left the room.
Nick was waiting for her in the lobby. “Ready?”
“Yes. I don’t want to see a hospital for a very long time.”
Chapter 32
Sasha stood alone at her sister’s fresh grave. They had a small ceremony with some of Carolyn’s friends and all of Sasha’s teammates still in town. Even Pete was there by her side and he helped her face the finality of her sister’s life without the fury she had been carrying all week long. The service was meant to celebrate Caro not harp on how wrong the whole situation was. Carolyn should’ve lived another fifty years easily but Jim thought he was God and ripped it all away.
Sasha sighed as she felt herself getting angry like she wasn’t supposed to be doing. “I’m trying here, Caro. I just don’t know what the hell I’m doing. A mountain of dirt and a headstone? That’s not what we planned and now I have the car packed ready to go home like….it’s not right. I see death all the time and I always feel sorry for the families but I always think there isn’t a choice, killer’s kill and the best we can do is stop them from taking another life.
“I did too, I stopped him, but why couldn’t I stop him from taking you?” her eyes drifted two gravestones over. “Why couldn’t I stop the truck driver that took them?” she wiped her fingers across her wet cheeks and dried the on her pants.
“Not very ladylike, huh? You always wanted me to always be more girly. Do you remember that time when I was thirteen you wanted me to stop moping around the house and you forced me into that trip at the mall? I hated you for making me go but by the end of it we were both smiling and having fun just the two of us. I wore that hideous sunflower dress for you. I love you and I know mom and dad will take care of you.”
Sasha tried to dry her face again as she made her way to the end of the cemetery where Nicholas was waiting beside the rental car.
He noticed how she kept trying to dry her tears but they only kept falling. “It’s ok.” He pulled her into a hug and held on tight until her sobs started to ease.
She held on to fists full of his blazer in her hands and cried into his shoulder. He stroked her back and offered up all of himself for her to lean on without a word, without rushing her. It was minutes later when her hands smoothed out and let go of his blazer, laying flat on his chest.
The steady beating of his heart helped ground her emotions. “I love my sister and I respect that she wanted to be buried here because it was her home but it isn’t mine. I want to go home.” Sasha said as she glanced one more time at Caro’s grave.
Last night when Wayne, Gage, Noah, and Pete booked their return flight to Washington Sasha declined being part of the purchase.
Gage asked. “You want to stay a little longer?”
Sasha took Nick’s hand as the team sat around her hotel room. “Pete told me to take some time off and I want to drive back home instead of fly. I can’t do too much driving with my arm in this cast so I’m taking Nick to help me.”
Wayne removed his glasses and gave her the who-are-you-kidding look. “Just to drive? I took a road trip with my wife a few years ago when we were just dating, do you want to know the purpose of that trip? We had sex in every state we drove through.”
Sasha wasn’t opposed to that idea but it wasn’t a part of her reasoning. She couldn’t very well tell the rest of the guys about Nick’s fear of flying. “Yes, that’s exactly my plan.”
After the service she said her goodbyes to the guys and they continued on to the airport. Now it was her and Nick’s turn to make their way out of Maple Oaks and it couldn’t happen any faster.
“I would’ve sucked it up and boarded the plane.” Nick said now.
“I know but I like this idea better. I’m not ready to jump back into work or sit around my apartment alone either. I’ve never been on a rode trip before.”
“Me either.”
“Good, we can experience it together.”
As they left Texas Nick took her phone and shut it down. The trip was their first vacation together and he didn’t want her trying to check in at the office or getting breadcrumbs from Gage either about the new recruits or cases.
It would take them a week to drive from Texas to Washington DC. They stopped in very state and did a little sight seeing and eating; Sasha wanted to taste something special to every area. They also tried out Wayne’s idea and had sex in very single stop they made. The trip allowed her to escape reality and that was the best medicine she could think of to help cope with Carolyn’s murder.
It was on the third day of their road trip that Sasha told Nicholas she loved him back. Lying together in bed she held his hand and noted how nicely they fit together. She was reminded of Gage saying how she and Nick complimented each other and she was finally seeing it. She fit with Nick better than she had with any other human being in the plant, they were in the same business, their sense of humor was right on track, and she wasn’t scared to let herself feel with him. He saw her through one of the worst times of her life and still wanted her, still loved her.
She turned on her side and looked down at his face. His eyes were closed, his thick lashes fanning his cheeks before he opened his dark blue eyes to look at her. It never failed, every time he looked at her with that intense look her heart sped up and she was at his mercy completely with her body and soul.
“What is it?” he whispered the words while his arm tightened around her back.
“You have the most beautiful eyes and I love you.” It wasn’t nearly as hard as she thought it would be to say the words. Maybe because she knew with no more doubt that he loved her back.
He kissed her and if they hadn’t already been naked clothes would’ve started flying off.
Sasha was excited as they drove through the familiar settings of Washington.
Nick asked. “My place first or yours?” he had done most of the driving for the trip and it was a task she gladly let him take on. What girl didn’t like being chauffeured around?
“I’ve never been to your apartment.”
“Mine first then but it’s not much of an apartment.”
“It can’t be any worse than mine. I swear I can fit the thing into my purse but at the same time less space is less cleaning.”
“No cleaning or cooking, hmm maybe we should rethink this relationship.”
Sasha pinched him on the shoulder. “Smart ass. I know how to do them, I just don’t like to and I’m honest about it. No woman likes to clean or cook and if they say differently they are lying their heads off.”
When they arrived at Nick’s place Sasha was a bit shell shocked. When he said it wasn’t much of an apartment he didn’t mean small, he meant much bigger. A two story humongous house bigger. “Come on, let me show you around.” Nick left his bags in the car for later and took her hand. He pulled out his keys and found he didn’t need them because the front door was unlocked.
“Do we need to kick some butt?” Sasha had her gun close at all times.
“No, there’s only one person who shows up when I’m out of town.” Nick’s smile was nervous as he pulled her along. “Mom?”
Sasha tensed. Mom? Oh this wasn’t part of the plan. Nick had mentioned meeting his parents several times now but she thought she’d have more time to prepare and dress up or something. She was wearing a yellow Georgia tourist shirt and her hair was a wavy mess tied at the base of her neck. Not to mention all the wounds still across her arms and face. She was sure she looked like a million bucks.
Nick wasn’t wrong, his mom was there. She stepped out of the kitchen drying her hands on a dish towel. “Your freezer was a mess.” Her eyes, the same shade as her son’s, brightened when she noticed there was company. “Who do we have here?”
“Mom, this is Sasha. Sasha this is my mom Belinda.” Nick laid his hand on her back, his usual way now to remind her he was there on her side.
“Hi, Mrs. McBain. I’ve heard a lot about you.” She held out her hand.
“Oh no, no honey. I do hugs.” Mama McBain wasn’t shy at all to wrap Sasha up tight in her arms. “Nicholas has been telling me about you since you started working together and now I can finally put a face to the name. Are you hungry? I was dropping off some dinner from last night and a pie I know will just sit around. Do you like pie, Sasha?”
“I’m not a health nut like Nick. I eat everything.”
“Oh thank god.” Belinda held onto her arm and together they walked into the kitchen.
Nick sighed behind them. “I’m not a health nut.”
All it took was a slice of homemade apple pie and all Sasha’s nerves were gone. It felt like she and Belinda had known each other for years as they spoke easily about the road trip and tonight’s family dinner Nick was forbidden from missing.
Sasha asked after Belinda left, “Is everyone at this family dinner?”
“Pretty much unless they’re stuck at work. It’s not a big deal.”
“Maybe a month from now it won’t be but you only make a first impression once and I already have a few strikes against me. I need to get home and find something that takes away from the stitches still in my forehead and the black eye.” Sasha knew it was a long shot, short of showing up naked nothing was going to blind the McBain family from noticing her face.
“You’re worrying for nothing. My family will love you.” His words fell on deaf ears as she marched down to the car. “Wait for me, you’re going to need some help.”
Chapter 33
Back at her apartment there were a lot of outfits Nick liked except Sasha vetoed all of them. “I want to be myself and all these dresses were to play Maggie.” She was frustrated as she stood in her bedroom with piles of clothes all over the bed and some even on the floor. Over the last hour she had looked at every item of clothing she had after first piling on some make up to try and conceal the worst of her black eye.
“It doesn’t mean you can make it your own. You look good in all this stuff and it doesn’t take away you’re still a tough girl. I know you want to make a good impression but there’s no one in my family you have to impress. I love you, they’ll love you.”
“I doubt it’s that simple but thank you for trying.” Sasha gave him a lackluster smile. “I’m driving myself crazy.”
“You’re driving me crazy too. Why don’t you close your eyes and grab the
first thing you can?”
“Leave it up to fate?”
“It’s better than what we’ve been doing this last hour.”
“I guess.” With a shrug of her shoulders Sasha closed her eyes and decided what the heck it was worth a try.
“Spin around a couple of times so you don’t subconsciously pick something in the order you remembered seeing it.”
“Don’t try rearranging things either. I saw you eyeing that black dress.”
Nick chuckled and confessed, “I do love that dress.”
Wasting no more time she spun around two times and reached for the first thing her hand touched on the bed. Her hand grabbed a purple skirt and in the spirit of trying not to going insane over an outfit Sasha stuck with it and grabbed a matching button down top that would also conceal most of her cast. “Huh, you do have good ideas after all.” Words she wouldn’t be caught saying just a month ago.
Nick reached for the sash of her robe and opened it, his hands moving up the sides of her waist. “I’m going to let that slide and be the mature one here.”
“Yeah or be the horny teenager. I can get dressed without any help.” Over the last week he had been helping her with buttons and zippers.
The robe fell to her ankles. “The skirt’s zipper is in the back, you do need my help.” He stood and kissed her before she could try to say something else like the fact they were going to be late if she didn’t hurry up and finally get dressed.
With a sigh of defeat she kissed him back and realized it wasn’t a battle she wanted to win anyway. Kissing Nick was steadily becoming one of her favorite pastimes.
Somehow as only Nick could, during the kiss he pulled the shirt on over her arms and did up half the buttons.
“You’re smooth.”
Nick’s kiss moved down her throat and over her chest. “You’re welcome.”
They made it out of her apartment and in the car with enough time to get to his parent’s house with a minute to spare. As long as they weren’t late and Sasha didn’t have to suffer the embarrassment of his family suspecting why, everything was great.
Games We Play Page 18