by Weil, J. L.
I could see it in his stance, how much he wanted to go all demon gung-ho and get us out of here much faster. It riled him to have to resort to human speeds, especially when our lives were at stake.
He wrapped his around my shoulders, pulling me close to him, using his body as a shield. I felt his biceps bunch in barely restrained control. Things were not looking promising. At least if anyone asked about the glowing eyes, we could say they were contacts. No one would question it on Halloween.
We found Lexi in the same spot I’d left her. Dancing.
Chase literally plucked her from the man-made dance floor and hauled her through the sea of people. “Party’s over. It’s time to leave cuz.”
I followed swiftly beside him. Lexi, even in her slightly hammered state, knew better than to argue. That didn’t mean she went without style.
“Why does every party end with us dashing off? I just wanted one night to be free.” There was pain and anger in Lexi’s rant.
“You can throw a pity party at home. Get in the car. Now!” Chase demanded harshly.
He slid into the driver seat, immediately throwing the car in to drive and took off at mach ten. The wheels spun, squealing and leaving black rubber on the road behind us. I gripped the edge of my leather seat. A dense dust of gravel kicked up behind us, making it impossible to see.
No one said anything on the ride home. Lexi sulked in the back, and I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, I might lose it. Tears were already burning the back of my eyes, and my throat felt closed up.
The whole night hit me like a blizzard.
We dropped Lexi off at her house, and she went storming inside, giving Chase the cold shoulder.
He sighed heavily. “God, I hate this holiday.”
Leaving him downstairs to stew on his personal hatred, I headed upstairs for the bathroom. The need to get out of this costume was stifling. Striping the patched dress, I tossed it haphazardly into a corner of the bathroom. In nothing but my skivvies, I started scrubbing the cracking make-up from my face. Minutes later it felt like I was trying to scrub away the events of the night, but it hadn’t worked. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I could still feel Brody’s hands piercing into my flesh. I could still see the arrow sticking out of the tree instead of my chest. I stared in the mirror at a girl who looked traumatized; my blue eyes were wide and an unusual shade lighter.
Gripping the side of the counter, I heaved and shoved the tears back down my throat. I refused to go postal and give into the useless tears that were threatening to spill all over my cheeks.
Tossing on a t-shirt, I opened the bathroom door and was hit with a wave of aftershocks. My entire body started shaking. Before I could register that I was about to have a mental breakdown, Chase was there.
So much for the brave face.
He pulled me against him, wrapping his strong arms around me. I was encompassed by his warmth and the scent of dark sin. My body, still trembling, pressed up to his even though in my mind I knew I was safe.
One thing was for certain, I didn’t want to be alone. I knew all it would take was for me to ask and he would be suction-cupped to my side. In my present state, I wouldn’t mind.
“Don’t leave,” I murmured quietly. So soft that anyone else wouldn’t have heard it.
His fingers ran down the back of my hair. “I’ll be here for as long as you need me.”
Eternity, I thought.
Whoa. Where had that come from?
I knew our lives and future were tied together by forces outside my control, but eternity? Could I really see myself with Chase forever? We didn’t even have any real concrete information about what linked us together. It was always possible that this bond could be broken. Who knew? And here I was thinking about being saddled with Chase for the rest of time.
I don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was the sincerity in his words. Heck, it could have been a thousand different things. Yet, right now my brain was fried, and I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted him close. Sliding my arms around his waist, I clung to him as the last of the trembles left my body. I was afraid to let go – afraid to let him go.
How had he suddenly become so important?
I could feel tiny chip of defense around my heart crumbling. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to lose my heart to the one person who could destroy it.
And maybe more than just my heart.
I was becoming too dependant on him.
Doomed, was what I was.
Time sat suspended as we stood there in each others arms. It was Chase who finally pulled back. “Come on, let’s get you in bed.”
The mattress shifted under my knees as I climbed into my bed. “You’re not leaving, are you?” The question tumbled from my lips.
He got under the covers beside me, eyes never wavering from mine. I scooted back, making room for him. He held his arm open and without a second thought I snuggled into his warm and secure embrace. “No, I told you I wouldn’t,” he whispered, drawing lazy circles on my back with his breath tickling my neck.
I sighed, contented. “I’m sorry about earlier tonight.”
His hand paused on my back. “Which part?”
I restrained form pinching him. He wasn’t going to make this easy. Apologizing to Chase was not on the list of things I’d ever thought I would be doing. “When I said you were stifling me…it’s not true. Well, mostly not true.”
He snorted. “That was the sorriest excuse for an apology.”
This time I couldn’t restrain myself, I pinched him in the side. “Don’t make me take it back.”
He laughed under his breath at me, and then his chest heaved. “It’s for your own good.”
My fingers played with the material of his navy t-shirt. “I know,” I agreed.
“Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I did the right thing by saving you.” There was regret in his voice, and I didn’t like hearing it. “It was completely selfish, I know. But in that moment, I couldn’t live with your blood on my hands. I couldn’t live without y–”
He didn’t finish that sentence, though I was pretty sure I knew how it ended. He couldn’t live without me. The feeling was mutual. I couldn’t say a month ago I would have felt the same, but since that night, I knew that my life was nothing without Chase, whether I was ready to admit it to myself or not. I was certainly not ready to voice it aloud, and apparently, neither was he.
It was both a scary and exhilarating revelation.
He took a deep breath, my head rising and falling with his chest. “But I’m not sure if this life I’ve now damned you to is worth the sacrifice. What kind of future have I given you but danger and fear? I don’t want that for you. You deserve better.” His fingers played with the ends of my hair.
I lifted my head and looked down into his silvery eyes ringed in gold. Putting my finger to his lips, I silenced him from anymore guilt and remorse. I wanted to do more than just silence him. I wanted to absolve him of those feelings. “Stop,” I pleaded. “Stop blaming yourself. I won’t have this dark cloud always over our heads.”
“Are you really ordering me to not feel responsible for what happened to you?” he asked astonished, smirking crookedly.
“And if I am?”
He propped his head behind his arms. “Some days I think an angel sent you to me. And then there are days like today…and I am sure that hell is laughing at me. When Death said that it would affect my life, I had never imagined this.”
“Do you want me to pinch you again?”
His laugh sounded like sweet candy to my ears, especially after the night we’d had. I fell asleep in his arms, my head tucked under his chin. I didn’t have a single nightmare, but my dreams were anything but peaceful. They were all of Chase and how he was slowly melting my heart.
~*~*~*~
I awoke in the morning stretched out in my bed. Rolling to my side, still half dazed with sleep, I reached for him. A small smile crept on my lips as I recalled falling asleep i
n his arms. He had turned a dreadful night into a memorable one and had been nothing but sweet, cuddly, and endearing, exactly what I had needed. And it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before, but this time it meant so much more to me.
So when my hand reached across the bed and found nothing but cool sheets, my disappointment was immense. That sinking feeling settled in my chest, and I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for it to go away. The thing was...I wasn’t so certain it would just disappear, no matter how much I willed it.
Finally, I gave up, telling myself I was being irrational. It’s not like he left me at the altar. He was just next door, probably still asleep and snoring like a pig. Staring at the empty space beside me, I could still see his face on the pillow. It didn’t help that I could smell him everywhere.
On the sheets.
On me.
His essence lingered.
Memories of our evening together fluttered through my head. If there was one thing I learned from last night, it was that our bond allowed me to break through his demon haze easier. I’d sort of been able to before we were joined at the hip, but not like last night. Just remembering made my heart patter faster. It was convenient and a little empowering. I would totally be lying if I didn’t say it secretly thrilled me.
Dragging my conflicted butt from bed, I could hear movement going on downstairs. I headed into the bathroom, splashed cold water on my face, and threw my hair up into a sloppy bun.
My mom was in the kitchen as she often was on her day off. Bacon sizzled on the stove. “How was the party last night?” she asked, flipping a perfectly golden piece of French toast.
My stomach growled loudly. “Surprisingly terrifying,” I said dryly, taking a seat on one of the breakfast barstools.
She arched a brow. “See, and you thought this town was going to be dull and boring. Good things come in small packages.”
I choked on my OJ. She had no idea how true her words were. Spring Valley was anything but dull and boring, well in the sense that my life was constantly in danger. The people in this town hadn’t the first clue of what really went on in their quaint little hometown. “If you only knew,” I muttered. Luckily my voice was muffled by the searing of bacon grease.
“Did you say something?” Mom asked, peering over her shoulder from the stove.
I just shook my head.
I didn’t see Chase at all on Sunday and spent most of it hanging out with my mom. We cold use some girl time. It was nice to pad around all day in knee-high socks, veg on junk food, and catch up on bad reality TV.
As much fun and relaxation I had on Sunday, I couldn’t shake the fluttering in my heart, like little blips of panic. When that feeling only increased as night drew near, I knew Chase wasn’t home.
He had gone out.
Those scattered feelings of unease I started to notice only happened when we were apart. The longer he was gone, the more it increased, a squeezing pressure in my chest. What was even crazier was I knew the precise nanosecond he got home.
Sighing in relief from the persistent and annoying ache in my heart, I wasn’t very happy with this new development. I seriously did not want to be stressed out every time he decided to go somewhere.
The bigger question was, do I, or do I not, ask Chase if he had the same reaction. There would be nothing more humiliating and awkwardness if this was a one-sided byproduct of our bond. I didn’t want to appear desperate and clingy.
I was not that girl.
Chapter 9
Monday came and Chase was in a mood – a dark mood. We hardly talked on the drive to school and once we got to the parking lot he took off, leaving Lexi and me behind.
“What’s his deal?” I asked.
She just shrugged her dainty shoulders, blonde hair spilling over them and stared at her cousin’s formidable back. “Who the heck knows. It’s Chase. He doesn’t need a reason to be pissy.”
I’ll say.
By the time I made it to chem class, I was actually feeling anxious. Today was the first time since Halloween night that I would see Brody. I wasn’t sure how I should feel about that.
Chase was in his usual seat behind me, scowling and looking as grumpy as a bear. His eyes were zeroed in on Brody, and they were doing some weird eye-pissing match. Occasionally Brody would glance in my direction and I swear I heard Chase growl.
After the third time, I spun around in my chair, oblivious to the attention I was drawing. “Will you stop,” I hissed at Chase.
He reclined in his seat, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “I warned him,” he said darkly.
I heard my name just as I was about to go postal. “Ms. Morgan. Is there a problem I am unaware of?” Mr. Edgington interrupted my scolding.
Chase smirked and arched that damn brow with the silver hoop.
Right then, he was darn lucky I resisted the urge to pluck it from his eyebrow. Giving him a quick glare, I turned back toward the front of class and replied, “Nope. No problem.”
A few kids snickered, knowing Chase and I had a history of getting on each other’s nerves. “Good. Then let’s proceed, shall we,” Mr. Edgington said, pushing his dorky glasses back up the bridge of his sweaty nose.
I wasn’t making excuse for Brody, but I was trying to protect Chase. Well maybe Brody too. I wasn’t entirely sure that Chase wouldn’t literally rip his head off. I felt Chase’s hands grip the desk behind me and Brody’s eyes, like a red-handed thief, darted to the blackboard.
I rolled my eyes. This was going well.
Peeking from under my lashes to my right, my eyes clashed with Brody’s. I’d done a pretty bang up job of ignoring him since I walked into class, but here it was. Our first contact and Chase wasn’t having it. Quickly, I shot my gaze back to the doodlings on my desk and tried with all my might to forget Brody even existed.
Chase was making that very difficult.
I was so hyper aware of Chase and the anger rolling off him that the room suddenly felt suffocating, as if the walls were closing in on me. The air was harder to breathe, and I couldn’t wait for this class to end.
I don’t know what happened. Maybe it was some kind of dominance power trip. Maybe it was some Neanderthal BS marking me his. Or maybe he just read the tense lines in my body. Whatever it was, it caught me off-guard.
I heard Chase exhale and shift forward in his seat, leaning close behind me. I practically jumped out of my seat when I felt his hand at the nape of my neck. He parted my long hair and started drawing lazy circles on the back of my neck with his finger.
Tingles shot down my spine, and I had to bite my lip to refrain from closing my eyes and sighing. Just his touch was enough to ease the tension and worries I’d been feeling. Conscious that we were smack dab in the middle of a chem lecture, I tried to ease away from his reach to no avail. It didn’t matter how many times I swatted his hand away, he would chuckle low and start again. Finally, I just gave up.
Huge mistake. Monstrous.
It became distracting to a near point of explosive lust. I bit my lip – hard, just to keep from mortifying myself. It was definitely starting to get uncomfortable, and the second class ended I was going to pounce on him. Clarification – pounce as in I was going to give him the verbal lashing of the century, not pounce as in slamming him against the lockers and devouring him with just my mouth.
Damn him.
If he started to blow on my neck, I was going to lose it right there in the middle of Mr. Edgington’s lesson on…shit. I had no idea what the heck we were supposed to be learning.
Before I had the chance to do anything that couldn’t be undone, the bell rang – my saving grace. We were going to have to evoke a no touching in class policy ASAP. Grabbing my books, I stood up ready to give Chase an ass chewing. I sent him my signature evil glare with the promise that he would answer for his actions later, preferable when we were alone. Though maybe alone wasn’t such a good idea.
Everyone shuffled out of class, practically pushing our way ou
t. No one wanted to be in class longer than possible, but at the same time no one was overly eager to get to their next class either.
I should have seen this coming, but I guess he could still surprise me. The signs were all there. I knew them well now. I knew Chase.
No more than a foot out the classroom door and Chase had Brody pinned up against the lockers. Chase’s fists clenched tight on Brody’s shirt, his muscles tense. I hadn’t even seen Chase move, and if I had to guess, no one else had either. The fact that he had used demon-speed in school was enough to be alarming. He knew damn better than to draw unwanted attention on himself.
I was starting to seethe right along with him, but for entirely different reasons. His were unreasonable and irrational, mine were sound and just. Yes, I got that Brody was a creep, but subjecting him to a thrashing every time he so much as looked in my general direction wasn’t going to solve anything. Well, except Chase getting expelled possibly.
A vein at Chase’s neck ticked, and his jaw clenched. He was extremely pissed and struggling not to lose it. At this point it could go both ways, he was that close to the edge. “You look at her again and I’ll rip your eyes out,” he threated a stunned Brody.
Beads of sweat glistened at Brody’s hairline. “Look man, I don’t know what you’re deal is.” A group had started to gather around us, like we needed to draw any more attention.
“I think you do. This is my final warning,” Chase said.
From my angle I could see the flecks of amber melting into his eyes like liquid gold.
Shit on a shoe.
Fear encompassed Brody’s brown eyes, and he shifted those pleading eyes to me, then back to Chase. “I swear. I don’t even remember what happened on Saturday.”
Convenient. But I actually believed him. There was too much distress and confusion in Brody’s sappy eyes to be lying. Still didn’t excuse him from being a bigger asstard than Chase. I frowned.
Chase on the other hand was a little harder to convince. “Let me refresh your memory,” he said, tightening his grip.
Brody held up both his hands. “Whoa, wait. I assume that I must have done something worthy of your anger, but I swear, I’m sorry.” When Chase didn’t look remotely convinced, Brody added to his plea, “Really I am.”