by Jan Drexler
What would they do if something like that happened again? Mary rubbed her tired fingers. She and Ida Mae would have to watch Aunt Sadie very closely.
* * *
Samuel was at work early on Thursday, preparing for the trip to Eden Township. Tilly stood with a hind leg cocked, head down, her side to the morning sun as Samuel brushed her. The new bristles lifted the dust off her coat with little puffs that glinted in the sunlight. The mare’s skin twitched in response. She was enjoying the pampering.
Samuel had curried and brushed her more in the last two days than he ever had before. He had even taken care of her hooves, trimming and polishing them until they shone. He stood back and inspected his brushing job. Her muscles could still use some filling out, but that would come with time. Meanwhile, her coat was beginning to take on the shine of a healthy animal. He didn’t need to be ashamed of her when he faced Bram.
He left Tilly still basking in the sun as he went into the barn and put the brush and currycomb on their shelf with care. One thing he remembered from Grossdawdi’s barn was how clean and orderly everything had been. Each step he took in that direction was progress.
The old buggy stood in the middle of the barn floor, still clean from yesterday’s washing. The wheels were worn, and should be replaced. The seats needed to be recovered, but the old blankets he had thrown over them would have to do for now. Even with as many years as the buggy had been around, though, the black lacquered oilcloth cover gleamed in the subdued light of the barn. Everything was ready for today’s trip.
Samuel took off his new hat and ran his fingers through his hair. Everything was ready except him. The thought of seeing Annie again filled his stomach with something like a bundle of puppies, but Bram...
He whooshed out a breath at the thought of his last encounter with Bram at the barn raising last summer. He had been stupid, making idle threats that didn’t mean anything, but Bram had responded like no Amishman ever did. He had drawn him close, like a brother would, but his grip had been hard on Samuel’s shoulder, and his words dripped of danger. Samuel swallowed at the memory. He had never encountered anything like the tone in Bram’s voice. The years his brother had spent working for gangsters in Chicago had hardened him.
Bram could be a dangerous man, but his life had changed since that hot day last summer. He had joined the church, married a pretty widow and was now a father to her three children. Was he any less threatening, though?
Samuel ran his hand through his hair again, making it stand up in spikes. He didn’t have long to wait to find out. He planned to take the girls and Sadie to Annie’s, where he would apologize to her and her husband. The puppies churned. That would be difficult enough. But then, once he learned where Bram lived, he would go to his farm and...what? Confront him? Try to make amends? Repair the broken places between them? It all depended on Bram’s reaction.
He took a cloth and wiped a few stray specks of dust from the buggy, then led Tilly into the barn to harness her. Every clomp of her hooves on the wooden floor was one step closer to facing Bram. He tied Tilly to a post and stroked her neck.
“Well, Tilly-girl, it’s going to be a day to remember.”
Taking the harness from the hooks on the wall, he swung it onto the mare’s back. She stepped away, but then stood quietly as he murmured to her. “So, Tilly, so. You know we’re going for a drive, don’t you?” Her ears swung back and then forward at the unfamiliar tone in his voice. He reached under her to grab a strap, and as he fastened the harness onto her, he kept talking. “We’re going down to Eden Township today.” He patted her rump as he walked around to her other side. “You’ll like the drive. New places to see.” Once the harness was on, he led her to the buggy and backed her into place between the shafts.
After she was hitched up, he led her out of the barn to the hitching rail next to the house. Esther was waiting for him on the steps, bouncing on her toes and grinning. He had to smile at her.
“You look like you’re ready to go.”
“For sure I am!” She ran down the walk toward the buggy. “I haven’t seen Annie since she got married.” She stopped when she reached him and looked into his face, suddenly sober. “You don’t think she has forgotten us, do you?”
The litter of puppies in Samuel’s stomach clambered over each other as Esther’s words sunk in. He had been so concerned with his own meeting with Annie that he hadn’t considered how Esther and Judith must be feeling. They were her sisters, separated from her through no fault of their own.
“I’m sorry.” The words came out garbled, strangled by his swelling throat. As Judith joined them, he put a hand on each of his sister’s shoulders and tried again. “I’m sorry that I haven’t taken you to see Annie before.”
Judith and Esther glanced at each other.
“We understand,” Esther said. “You were angry—”
Samuel cut off her excuses. “But I shouldn’t have been. I shouldn’t have acted like I did when she wanted to marry that young man.”
“Matthew.”
Samuel squeezed Judith’s shoulder in silent thanks for providing the name he couldn’t remember. The name he had blocked. “Matthew.” He nodded. “Matthew.” The serious young man who had claimed their Annie. The puppies wouldn’t settle down.
Judith shrugged his hand off her shoulder. “Can we go now? I can’t wait to get there.”
Samuel stroked Tilly’s nose as the girls climbed into the buggy, ignoring their surprise at the changes he had made. He didn’t have to go with them. He could send them over to Sadie’s to ride with her. He didn’t have to face Annie and Matthew. He could stay home. There was plenty of work to keep him busy.
He swallowed. He didn’t have to risk Bram’s rejection.
Tilly nibbled at his shoulder. It was the first sign of affection she had ever shown him. He patted her cheek and smoothed the hair under her bridle.
“Well, Tilly-girl, I guess it’s time to face the lions.”
He climbed into the buggy and lifted the reins. The girls chattered to each other in the back seat, talking about Annie and her baby. He rubbed at his freshly shaved chin as they talked. He hadn’t thought that Annie would have a child. His nephew, from what the girls were saying.
Turning Tilly onto the road, he urged her into the quick trot she liked as they headed toward Sadie’s house. As they turned in, he saw Sadie and Ida Mae waiting for them at the edge of the drive. The churning in his stomach eased as Mary stepped out of the house and joined them just as he drew the buggy up. She gave him one of her quiet smiles as Ida Mae climbed into the back of the buggy. He stepped out to help Sadie into the front seat.
“Good morning, Samuel.” She clung to his hand as she put one foot on the buggy step. “It’s a fine day for a drive.”
“Ja, for sure.”
He waited for her to move to the center of the seat so that Mary would be able to sit next to her, but Sadie waved him away.
“I’d like to sit here, if you don’t mind. Mary can sit in the center, between us.”
Mary shot a look toward her aunt, then walked around the back of the buggy with Samuel.
“You know why Sadie wants me to sit in the middle, don’t you?” Mary whispered the words.
“Why?”
Mary stopped, out of sight of the others. “I think she’s trying to push us together.”
Samuel stared. Her cheeks were pink, and one wisp of hair curled around the edge of her bonnet, sending his thoughts down a path that led to tucking that wisp behind her ear. He gripped his suspenders to keep his hands still. “You mean like a matchmaker?”
“Shh.” Mary turned away from the buggy. “Don’t let her hear you.” She twisted her fingers together. “If she sees that she isn’t successful, then she’ll give up. We just have to ignore her attempts to match us up.”
“That
sounds good to me.”
Mary continued around the buggy to climb into the front seat and Samuel followed her. His plans didn’t include a wife, and he should be glad that Mary had rejected the idea of the two of them making a match. So why did he feel like he had just watched something precious float away?
Chapter Four
The narrow seat on the buggy provided no opportunity for Mary to put any distance between her elbow and Samuel’s. She finally gave up, resigning herself to the occasional bumps in the road that jostled her against his warm, strong arm. His muscles were tense as he handled the reins, so maybe he didn’t notice when they made contact.
Sadie kept the conversation going with news about the neighbors as they made their way south.
“There’s the Miller farm,” she said as they passed a lovely shaded farmyard. Flowers lined the edge of the garden and some children were busy picking strawberries from the field next to the house. “They’re Mennonite, and good neighbors.” She went on without a pause. “And up ahead is the Jefferson place. They’re Englischers and their family has lived here as long as ours.” Sadie laid her hand on Mary’s arm as she turned toward her. “My daed never understood Thomas Jefferson. Ach, ja, that was his name. No relation to the famous president, though. The man was a go-getter, never leaving things be. Now his son, Phillip, has the farm. You won’t believe the bee he has in his hat.”
Sadie fell silent and Mary exchanged glances with Samuel.
He grinned. “You’re talking about the road paving he wants the county to do?”
Sadie nodded and set off again. “That’s right! Pavement in the country! What trotting along on that hard surface will do to our poor horses, I don’t know.” She huffed as she settled back in her seat. “He just wants a smooth road for his fancy automobile, and wants the county to pay for it.”
Samuel chirruped to the horse. “He says it will keep the dust down.” His words were mild, but Mary could see his Adam’s apple bobbing as he tried to keep from laughing.
Sadie crossed her arms. “There’s nothing wrong with a little dust.”
Samuel kept his voice calm, not letting the laughter emerge. “You just don’t like to see progress.”
“Of course not. Progress without wisdom isn’t good for anyone. People like Phillip Jefferson can’t see past the end of their own noses, and he has no thought of what unintended consequences this road of his might bring.” Sadie sat up, her attention on the next farm. “There’s the Zook farm. Good Amish folks, and now we’re in Eden Township.”
“Is that Levi Zook? I met him at a barn raising last summer,” Samuel said.
Sadie shook her head. “Ne, his cousin, Caleb. Levi lives a few miles east of here.” She leaned forward. “Matthew Beachey’s place is just past this crossroad. Up there on the right.”
Mary felt Samuel’s body stiffen at Sadie’s words. What must it be like for him to see Annie again after so long?
The other girls had been visiting in the back seat, but when Sadie pointed out their destination, Esther and Judith leaned forward to get a look.
“What a pretty place,” Judith said.
“Look at all of the flowers. Annie always said gladiolus was her favorite, and she has planted a whole row of them.”
Esther’s voice sounded strained and Mary turned around as well as she could.
“Are you all right, Esther?”
She nodded. “I’m just so happy to see Annie again.” She pointed, her arm extending between Mary and Sadie. “Look, there she is! Samuel, stop the buggy so we can get out.”
“You can wait until I turn in the drive.” Samuel’s voice held a growl. His face was tense as he drove the horse toward Annie, who was waiting for them next to the gravel lane.
When he drew the buggy to a stop, Judith and Esther jumped out and into Annie’s arms. The three sisters held each other close, none of them saying a word, until Annie pushed away from the embrace to look at the girls.
“You’ve both changed so much!” Annie’s happy smile made Mary want to smile back.
As the girls launched into the story of everything that had happened since they had last been together, Annie looked toward the buggy, then back at her sisters. Samuel remained in his seat, watching the girls, but making no move to get out.
Sadie reached across Mary to poke his arm. “Samuel, it’s time for you to say hello to Annie.”
Samuel swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Ja.” He sighed and secured the reins, but he didn’t make a move to get out of the buggy.
Mary laid her hand on his arm. There must be some way she could help. The poor man looked like he was about to meet his doom.
“She’s waiting for you.”
Samuel looked past Mary and Sadie. Annie had glanced his way again, and had pulled her lower lip in between her teeth.
“Go on,” Mary said. She pushed at his arm. “It’s time.”
His eyes met hers then, pleading with them as one of her younger brothers would do, but he climbed down from the buggy. Mary followed him and helped Sadie to the ground as she watched him greet his sister.
“Hello, Annie.”
He stood back, but his sister reached toward him and grasped his hand.
“I’m so glad you came.” Her eyes sparkled with tears. “I’ve missed you. All of you.”
Sadie pulled on Mary’s arm, and she led the way into the house with Ida Mae following.
“We’ll let the four of them get acquainted again without us interfering.”
Other buggies had already arrived, and as Mary stepped onto the porch, she could hear the hum of voices from inside the house. She swallowed down the thickness in her throat at the thought of all the strangers on the other side of that door, but she didn’t have time to be nervous as Sadie walked in. They laid their bonnets with the others on a bed in the room off the kitchen, then followed the sound of women visiting.
The front room was filled with a quilt on a frame, and ten or twelve women sat around it, needles in their hands and all talking at once. Sadie led Ida Mae to three empty chairs on the far side of the quilt, stopping to greet the women they passed on the way.
“Good morning, Elizabeth.” She grasped an older woman’s shoulder. “These are my nieces from Ohio, Mary and Ida Mae.” She went on to the next woman, a younger image of the first one. “And Ellie, I’m so glad you’re here. Meet my nieces.”
Mary had hardly had a chance to greet Elizabeth when she met Ellie’s blue eyes. “I’m so happy to meet you. I’m Ellie Lapp.”
“Lapp? Are you related to Esther and Judith?”
“Ja, for sure.” Ellie’s smile was relaxed and welcoming. “Their brother Bram is my husband, but I’ve never met the girls.” She stuck her needle in the quilt and half rose from her seat. “Did they come with you? Are they outside?”
“They’re talking with Annie. Samuel is there, too.”
Ellie sat back in her chair. “Samuel came?”
“He said he had some business here in Eden Township, so he drove us down here this morning.”
A little boy, about two years old, crawled out from under the quilting frame and pulled on Ellie’s skirt. “Memmie, I’m thirsty.”
Ellie cupped his head in her hand, a worried frown on her face. “Ja, Danny. We’ll go to the kitchen and get a drink.” She smiled at Mary, her brows still knit. “I’m so glad to meet you, Mary, and I hope we’ll be able to get to know each other better.”
She took the little boy by the hand and led him into the kitchen as Mary made her way to the chair next to Sadie and Ida Mae. For the first time, she wondered what business Samuel had in Eden Township. Whatever it was, it had Ellie worried.
* * *
Samuel let Tilly choose her own pace as he set off down the road toward Bram’s farm. Annie’s welcome had bo
lstered his courage enough to ask for directions to their brother’s home, but when he saw Bram’s wife peering at them through Annie’s kitchen window, doubts began to crowd in again.
Meeting Bram wouldn’t be as easy as seeing Annie again. His sister had always been quick to forgive and easy to talk to. Bram had never been easy to deal with.
Samuel stopped at a crossroad. Annie had said he would turn right after he passed over the creek, and he could see the wandering line of trees and bushes that marked the creek’s progress through the fields ahead. Only one more mile before he turned onto Bram’s road. When he clucked to Tilly, she shook her head and started off at a brisk trot.
He and Bram had never enjoyed the kind of brotherly love he saw in other families. Daed had pushed at them, and Samuel could hear his voice now. “Bram can do it. Why can’t you?”
And then Bram would look at him with his superior, big-brother look that would spike Samuel’s temper.
Whether it was pitching hay down from the loft or hauling buckets of slop for the hogs, Bram had always done it better, faster, easier.
Even after Bram had abandoned the family, Daed had kept goading at Samuel, pushing him to be the man Bram was.
But he wasn’t Bram. He didn’t leave. He had stayed and absorbed the brunt of Daed’s anger right until the end.
Samuel fingered the reins. Why hadn’t he left? He could have followed Bram, but he shied away from the accusing voice in his head that said he had been too cowardly to strike out on his own. His eyes stung and he rubbed at them. He wasn’t a coward. He was the good son. The one who had stayed home. But Mamm had still died.
Tilly trotted across the culvert over the stream and the next crossroad was in sight. A quarter mile west, Annie had said. His stomach churned with something. Anger? Resentment? Or was he only nervous?
Samuel pulled Tilly to a stop at the corner. He didn’t have to turn. He could continue down this road, find a spot to rest until it was time to pick up the girls again and face Bram another day.