“If I knew I wouldn’t be asking you, now would I?” I felt myself getting quite annoyed with her smugness.
“Amadeus and I have been lovers. In fact sweetie, he’s planning to leave you. Oh wait, you’re already separated, so I guess that would be he is going to divorce you. Then we’ll be getting married. But this tragic turn of events put everything on hold.”
“Really?”
“Yes, the only reason you’re here is to keep everything calm for appearances, and his mother. Poor Grace. He and Angus set everything up.”
I took a deep breath and then started my assault.
“Well bitch, I have a newsflash for you. Not that it’s any of your business, but Amadeus and I have reconciled. And as for this story of you being lovers with him, I find that quite hard to believe as we tell each other everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Get my drift?” I didn’t wait for her answer. “So a word of advice, stay away from him. If you don’t, I’m sure our attorneys can find a way to make you.”
With that I turned and stormed out of the room. I paused for a couple of seconds to regain my composure before rejoining Amadeus. I didn’t want him to get a whiff of anything unsavory. To my surprise Angus was standing nonchalantly outside the door. I threw him a look meant only for him.
Amadeus was throwing back a shot of whiskey when I rejoined him. A good time to leave, I thought. I wrapped my one arm around his waist and picked up my partially consumed wine glass.
“How many of those have you had now?”
“This makes my fourth. Do you have a problem with that?”
“No, not at all. You have as many as you want. I merely thought perhaps this would be a good time for us to sneak out of here. We can find your mother and say our good-byes and leave.”
“That’s a great idea. I think we’d better do so before I get too intoxicated, and since you don’t object to that love, I think I will-get intoxicated.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I could smell the aroma of whiskey already on his breath. “That’s one of the things I love about you, Zara. You always have my best interests at heart.”
I spotted Grace sitting at a table among some friends and relatives. I guided Amadeus over in her direction.
“Grace, we’re going to sneak out of here, unless you need us for something.” She looked up at both of us and nodded her head.
“Yes, that’s fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Amadeus nodded and said something to his mother, kissing her on the cheek before we left. We walked without stopping until we got to the SUV in the parking lot.
We rode back home quietly chatting about relatives Amadeus hadn’t seen in years, mainly his father’s English relations. I could tell he was totally spent from all the stress of the couple of days. He was also quite vulnerable—at least that was my opinion. It reminded me of how he had acted when we went through the mess with Artie and Tudor Rose. He was once again leaning on me for support.
Once we arrived at home and were safely inside, Amadeus poured me a glass of wine and grabbed himself a bottle of Jack Daniels from the bar. He joined me on one of the buttery soft cream colored leather sofas where I was sitting. After handing me the glass of red wine, he stretched his arm around the back of the sofa and started rubbing my shoulders.
“You seem preoccupied, Zara. Something bothering you?”
“No. I’m just tired. I know you are too. I can just look at you and tell you’re exhausted.”
“Yeah I am. I’m just glad it’s over. We won’t have to go anywhere unless of course Mother wants us to stop by for dinner or something. But the worst part is over.”
I leaned into his hand, enjoying his touch as I took a sip of my wine. I wanted to ask him about Amber so bad, but I didn’t want to ruin such an important day in his life either. So I chose to keep silent. I stood up, finishing my wine and placed the glass down on the cocktail table in front of us.
“I think what we both need is a good nights’ sleep. Why don’t you make sure everything is locked up and turned off and meet me in the bedroom,” I suggested. As badly as I wanted him, I knew we were both too tired for anything more, especially something emotional.
Several hours later, I was awakened by Amadeus.
******
I could not believe my eyes. That Amber had the balls to actually show up at my father’s wake of all places. Surely Angus must have let her know Zara was with me; that the two of us were back together. I know Angus meant well, but his well intentioned plan could backfire in my face and I’m not about to have to endure Zara’s wrath. Nor am I going to risk losing her again.
Thank God I had come to my senses before things got out of hand. I had come close to committing the one thing I swore I never would do when Zara and I got together. I swore when Zara and I married I’d never sleep with another woman. Hell, I never looked at another woman once Zara and I committed to each other. But I almost gave into temptation, to my own stupid weaknesses, and Angus’ incessant badgering. Even though nothing ever happened between Amber and me, I had come as close to cheating on Zara as I ever wanted.
Yes, I was mad at Zara for leaving in the manner she did. Hell I was mad at everything and she was just the unfortunate person who got the brunt of my wrath. It was like I was a kid and I was being dared. Or better yet, that I was going to do it out of spite; that I wanted to hurt her. To show her how much I was hurting, and no matter what the cost.
Zara and I have enough to catch up on. I don’t need Amber hanging over my head. Hopefully Zara didn’t pick up on anything at the wake. I tried my best to ignore Amber, but she was not having any of it. And Angus, he did nothing to prevent it. It was as though Angus was trying to start something.
Little did I know how on point my gut feeling was…
Chapter Four
Over the course of the next few weeks everyone began to come out of their shock from the loss of William Tudor. After all, life goes on, right?
Damien surprised everyone by stepping up and into his role as the eldest. He oversaw that Grace’s wishes were taken care of, even made the arrangements for her to visit the family attorney to begin the probate process. It was good to see Damien resuming a more active role. Heaven knows he’s been through his own private hell after suffering a stroke at such a young age.
Amadeus and I felt like we had been in a whirlwind, visiting with all the out of town relatives before they left, which meant a lunch here, a dinner there. It had not allowed us much down time, alone together, but I felt everything would work out. He needed this time and I saw it as a way to strengthen our relationship as well.
The morning following the departure of the last of the out of town family, we received a phone call from Grace. She wanted Amadeus and me to join her for lunch to discuss something personal. She would not elaborate, no matter how hard Amadeus pressed her.
As Amadeus turned off the engine of the SUV in the driveway in front of his mother’s house, he turned and looked at me.
“I hope she isn’t going to lecture us.” He reached over and took my hand. “I’m really not in the mood for anyone lecturing us on our personal life.”
“I didn’t get the sense that’s why she wants to have lunch with us,” I replied, squeezing his hand. “I think she merely wants some one on one time with each of her children. Your father isn’t here, so she wants to re-establish herself in our lives.”
“I hadn’t thought of that, love. That makes perfect sense. The past two weeks have been crazy and we haven’t really had any time alone with Mother.”
“Come on then. Let’s go enjoy lunch and see if there’s anything we can help her with.
Amadeus and I had decided that we would put our plans to move on hold for the time being. We both thought it would be selfish to announce to the family we were moving to Scotland so soon after William’s death. It was the practical thing to do and we were both at peace with our decision. I had also told Amadeus it would give us time to line things up
for our move and to decide what we would do with things on this end. I also figured it would give me some further time to observe Angus and see if I could pick up on anything by being around him.
Grace met us on the front steps, having seen us drive up. I looked at her and wondered if my own mother might have looked like this at this stage in her own life. My mother had passed away when I was a teenager and this was something I always pondered. I’d like to think so; Grace reminded me of the memory I had of my mother. She was meticulously dressed in a cream color pair of slacks and a navy blue top.
Hmmmm, Grace would make a wonderful mature model. Perhaps once she is ready I will have the conversation with her. She’d be great at it; she certainly had the looks.
She greeted us both with a hug and a peck on the cheek and then led us into the house.
“I’m so glad you could come on such short notice. I didn’t get to see much of my children alone while all William’s relatives were here.”
“I know, it was quite a madhouse, wasn’t it?” Amadeus replied, plopping down on the overstuffed floral chinz sofa in the family room.
“Yes, it was, but it was good to see your father’s family. It was unfortunate for the circumstances…”
I sat next to Amadeus on the sofa and Grace settled into one of the wing-back chairs.
“I thought we’d eat outside. It is such a beautiful day. I hate to not take advantage of it, if that’s alright with the two of you?”
“That sounds wonderful, Grace. Do you need me to help you with anything?”
“No, I’ve got everything taken care of. I thought we’d talk first, then you can help me take everything outside, Zara.”
I nodded my head, watching her. She seemed to have her composure, but it was obvious the past couple of weeks had taken their toll on her. She still looked tired.
“What can we do for you, Mother? Do you need us to take care of something for you?”
“No nothing like that, Amadeus. I merely wanted to sit and talk with the two of you. You’ve both been on your own roller coaster ride and then to be thrown back together…”
“Mother, Zara and I were in the midst of reconciling when all this happened with Dad. It just moved things along a little quicker.” A slight smirk came across his face.
“We’re fine Grace. Really,” I added, taking Amadeus’ hand.
“So, what is next for you two? I know Amadeus isn’t ready to resume a full blown tour schedule, so what do you plan on doing?”
Amadeus squeezed my hand and I saw him glance at me from the corner of my eye. “Right now we just plan to relax, perhaps take a long week-end trip on the boat and sail up in the islands.”
“Well, if I may be the intruding mother and mother-in-law for a moment, I would like to tell you two what I think you should do.”
“You wouldn’t be intruding Grace. We welcome your ideas, you know that.” I flicked a grin in her direction.
“I think the two of you need to move. Move away from Seattle. It doesn’t have to be forever, but I think the two of you need a fresh start. There are too many bad memories here and you don’t need to have them burden your marriage so early on.”
The woman had always had a knack for her intuition, but this was uncanny. I wondered if Amadeus was going to use this as a way to approach her with the idea or if he was going to wait. I felt him squeeze my hand again.
“As a matter of fact, Mother, Zara and I have been considering just such an idea.”
“Yes,” I added, not sure how to go with it. “Amadeus and I both agree, while we both love the area, there has been some pretty awful stuff we’ve had to endure. Perhaps spending some time somewhere else will not only help us heal but help strengthen our relationship.”
“Zara, I don’t know of another couple who have such a strong, deep, committed relationship as you and Amadeus, except perhaps William and me. I certainly don’t see it in any of the other children’s marriages and the last thing I ever want to see is the two of you split apart like you were.”
“Amadeus, why don’t we tell her...”
“Tell me what?”
“Mother, um, Peter has offered to rent his farm outside Edinburgh to us, and we’re going to take him up on it.”
“Thank God,” she cried out. “Mind you I’m not thrilled with the distance, but bless Peter’s heart. He is such a kind, wonderful man. Do you two have an idea as to when you’re going to leave?”
“No not yet, Grace. We need to make arrangements, decide what we’re going to do with things here. We’ll probably make a trip over there before we move to check everything out.”
“Well, I don’t want you delaying this because of me. I’m fine, or I will be. I want the two of you to take care of yourselves. The rest, either with me or with the two of you, will fall into place. Now Zara, why don’t you and I get lunch on the table. Amadeus, would you pick out a bottle of white wine please?”
I followed Grace into the huge, well lit, kitchen. She walked over to the Sub-Zero refrigerator and began pulling bowls and platters out, and handing them to me. I took them from her and set them down on the granite counter top. When she was finished, she shut the door. I started to pick up a plate to take it outside, when she gently put her hand over mine.
“You get Amadeus away from here and over to Scotland as soon as possible. I will be fine – hell – I am fine, Zara. I have his other siblings to help me should I need them.”
“But…”
“No buts, Zara. He does not need to be hanging around Angus. I love Angus to death, but he’s always been an unintentional troublemaker, if you know what I mean. I’ll help you get Amadeus focused in that direction. Trust me on this, Zara. He does not need to have Angus hanging around him right now”
“Yes ma’am.” I knew what she was talking about, but did Grace? Or did she simply know Angus might have been up to some mischief where his little brother was concerned? I certainly didn’t think what Detective Franco had enlightened me about would even be something Grace would fathom. If that came to fruition I had no idea how she would deal with the news.
I took the two plates Grace handed me and started toward the terrace. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Amadeus sitting outside waiting for us.
In a matter of minutes the three of us were sitting outside enjoying a perfectly magnificent day, eating lunch and conversing.
“Amadeus?” Grace asked. “I’ve been thinking about something, and it’ll entail your help.”
“What do you need, Mother?”
“I’ve decided I want to scatter part of your father’s remains here in the sound. The remaining I’d like to scatter somewhere over in the UK.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“I thought it would be quite appropriate if we scattered them from your boat. You and Zara could meet the family up at Damien’s and we could all go out on your boat and scatter them. The rest could follow on one of Damien’s boats. Your father loved the sound. It just seems like the perfect place.”
“Just tell us when, and Zara and I will meet you there. We’d be honored to help you do it.”
“What about the remaining Grace?” I asked, knowing I probably already knew the answer.”
“I’d like to come over and visit you and Amadeus at your new place and I thought perhaps the three of us could go to your father’s birthplace and scatter them there. If any of your brothers or sisters want to be part of it they can make their own arrangements to join us. What do you think?”
“He’d like that Mother. When did you want to do all of this?”
“I’d like to go out this coming week-end and scatter those on the sound, and then I plan on coming to visit the two of you in Edinburgh in one or two month’s time. That’ll give me time to get your father’s affairs started and in order and give the two of you time to settle in at that farm of Peter’s.”
“But mother, Zara…”
“There is no reason for you to stay here Amadeus. I’m fine, like I
told you. The two of you need to get over there before it gets too cold and you can’t enjoy the outdoors.”
Amadeus looked at me, shaking his mane of hair as I nodded and smiled at him. “I guess everything is set then. Seems you two ladies have got this all figured out.”
******
Two days later Amadeus and I were headed out on the “Tudor Queen” towards Damien’s island home. The unpredictable Northwest weather has managed to stay on a roll of blue skies and warmer than normal temps.
Amadeus decided we should leave a day early to enjoy some sailing, knowing it would probably be the last he’d get to do for a while once we moved to Scotland. He had let the marina know of his plans so the boat could be taken out of the water and maintenance work could begin once we left. He also decided that even though he paid for his mooring slip a year in advance, he’d have the boat winterized this year, and stored on the marina grounds once the maintenance was completed.
He picked an island for us to sail to, knowing we’d make it in by late afternoon. This was one of our favorite things to do together. Sailing. It was a perfect way for Amadeus to relax and an even better way for the two of us to spend time alone. We had a lot of fond memories on the “Tudor Queen.”
The winds couldn’t have been more perfect, and Amadeus opened the boat open as wide as she’d go as she effortlessly sped across the sound. We made the island in better time than he anticipated. He headed the boat into a small deserted cove. There were no other boats there so we had the place to ourselves-at least for a few hours. I held the wheel as he dropped the anchor in a well sheltered area.
We had a drill between the two of us as to what was done once anchored. I helped him secure the sails for the night before finding my way down into the cabin and grabbing us both a beer. He took them from me as I started back up the stairs. I took a seat across from him and sat back to relax.
“Today’s been perfect, don’t you think?” I asked, unable to see him as the boat swung around on its tether putting the sun square in my eyes.
Tudor Rubato Page 4