by Anya Nowlan
He let go of her hands and edged past her, heading towards the front door. She followed him.
“Bye,” she said meekly as he stepped out of the door, the man throwing her a quick wink in reply before closing the door behind him. As soon as the lock latched shut, Susie fell against the door with her back, clutching her chest with both hands as she slid down to sit on the floor. Her cheeks were burning red, and her heart was pounding in her chest. Susie cupped her face with her hands, still feeling the warmth of his hands on hers. Cold Montana had just got a lot hotter.
CHAPTER FOUR
Julian tossed his jacket across the backrest of a chair as he stomped into the lodge, the door slamming shut behind him. He walked straight over to the fireplace to make a fire. The cottage hadn’t been kept in use for a while now and despite having been there for a week, occasionally it still got that musty feeling of abandonment that scraped at him painfully. A fire would light the room up and drive away the cold and the damp, even if Julian barely felt it. The upside of being a werebear – cold didn’t really bother him.
He gave a deep sigh as he watched the fire spark to life, the flames starting to lick at the logs and blaze brighter as moments went by. Julian sat on his haunches for a while, just staring into the fire as it lit his profile, the light dancing on his bulging muscles. A lot had happened over the last few days, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it. Coming to Montana had been a tough decision in more ways than one. He’d tried his best not to think about his past ever since leaving home at eighteen to chase down his fortune. Even when his father had passed, he hadn’t come back. On the one hand, he had expected it to complicate things – even if they didn’t mean to, the two eldest sons of a fallen Alpha tended to inadvertently brew up conflict in a situation where power was up for grabs. Both he and Jackson knew that he wouldn’t have challenged Jackson for the spot of leading the clan, but the bears within them tended to be irrational during times like that – another reason why werebears tended to prefer keeping distance between them, even if clan relationships were well moderated.
Now, he had had to come back, and it was stirring up a lot more than he had anticipated. His bear had become restless, rearing his demanding head ever since Julian had stepped off the chopper. All the senses he had felt dulling over the years came flooding back, filling him with the deep, primal energy that resided in every werebear. His bear remembered their youth, when Julian had not gone out of his way to squash his werebear side under the guise of becoming a better human, and he wanted to taste it again. The fresh mountain air, the wide open spaces and the steep mountainsides called to Julian, as well as his bear, urging him to shrug off the past and give in to what he was, who he was. But, he couldn’t. Not yet. He had worked too hard to control himself and to make the bear work for him, not against him.
Control it, Julian, he told himself darkly, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.
He had done the unthinkable a few days ago – cleaned for himself. All of his wealth and prestige did little for him in the foothills of the Cabinet Mountains. There was no one around to be dazzled by his money, and, frankly, he found himself enjoying the fact that he’d have to deal with the smaller things in life all of a sudden. He couldn’t remember when he had last bought his own groceries before coming back to Montana. There was something to be said for simplicity.
Julian grabbed a glass from the shelf and a bottle of gin and vermouth. He poured himself a quick dirty Martini, using just a splash of vermouth. Bringing it to his lips, he closed his eyes and swallowed the contents of the glass with one swift gulp. The alcohol went down his throat, blazing a path all the way to his stomach. He rarely drank, but after seeing Susie, he thought he deserved a drink or two to congratulate himself on not ripping her clothes off then and there.
Damn, she looked good, he thought, pouring himself another drink. Not a day older than when I left, yet, so much sexier.
Julian took his drink and stalked to the couch with the best view of the fire, sitting down with a loud plop. His expression was somber, his mind assaulted by thoughts and memories that he had ignored and repressed for years. The bear was closer to the surface than he had felt it in years. He knew it was a combination of being back home, as well as seeing Susie. The big number of werebears in the area didn’t help either. His animal side wanted to break free, and it was becoming hard to control it as well as he was used to.
All those years in New York, his bear had fallen into some kind of hibernation. Julian had had the privilege of using all of the impossible drive and determination that came with being a werebear, but the bear had been content to simply watch from the sidelines. He hadn’t shifted in years, not since leaving home. Not since… Julian took another sip, his fingers squeezing the glass tightly. It wasn’t something he enjoyed thinking about.
How can she ever trust me after that? How can I trust myself? I promised I’d never hurt her again, but what if I can’t control myself around her again. Damn it, that woman… Julian wetted his lips, the bitter taste of gin coating his mouth. For a long time after he had left, he had tried to make sense of what he wanted to be. He knew he didn’t want to hurt the ones he loved, so leaving seemed like the best thing to do to avoid posing a threat to them anymore. Often, he’d wondered if he’d done the right thing, but throwing himself into his work had helped him forget about the past. The wealth and the trials of the human business word brought new difficulties, new problems to deal with, and Julian had gladly pushed his past, along with his bear, to the furthest recesses of his mind.
His thoughts kept wandering back to an evening more than ten years ago. He cringed as the memory came to him in vivid clarity. Julian could almost feel the softness of Susie’s skin under his hands, his lips, and the sexy little noise she made when he kissed down her chest and neck. They’d been dating for years during school and he’d always been a perfect gentleman. But, the older they got, the less they wanted to be good. That night, it was going to change. She’d be his first and he’d be hers. But, that’s not quite how things went. Susie knew about Julian and his brothers, and his bear heritage had never bothered her. He’d even shown her how he shifted a few times and she hadn’t been afraid, which had made him all the more sure that she was the one for him – his mate, the woman that was meant for him. Julian’s father had urged him to be careful, to not get ahead of himself, but both Julian and his bear knew that she had to be the one. There was no other way.
So, when it had all gone down the drain, it had been almost impossibly painful to deal with. His bear growled within him, emitting a deep rumbling sound from his throat as Julian struggled with his thoughts. He remembered the last kiss they had shared, her ruby lips on his, their tongues intertwined. His hands had just slipped under her shirt, caressing her soft stomach. And then, everything had gone down the drain. His focus wavered and the bear burst through, taking him by surprise. It took time for a young werebear to learn how to harness the power of his bear the way he needed, and during times of great stress or excitement, the control could waver. He had picked the most inopportune time for that to happen.
Julian could feel the shift coming over him and he only had enough time to pull away from Susie a bit before he turned. She yelped in fright, grasping for her t-shirt just as Julian’s big bear filled the small living room of her family home. A sickening crack resounded, followed by Susie screaming in pain and clutching her arm. The couch and the coffee table were turned into a pile of trash as Julian tried to find a place in the room where he wouldn’t break anything. Susie stared at him with eyes full of anguish, her arm bent at an awkward angle – he had accidentally stepped on it as he was backing away.
Julian shook his head, draining the glass again. The rest had gone by in a blur. He’d needed a few minutes to calm down and change back, but there was little he could do after that. Her arm was broken and she needed to see a doctor, so he had driven her to Bear’s Grove. Her parents had shown up soon after and Julian had been pr
operly mortified at the situation. Susie’s mother was hysterical and her father glared at him like he’d just ran her over with his truck. After that, he had vouched to himself that he’d never let his bear hurt anyone he loved again, which had meant that his bear needed to be repressed.
He’d stopped seeing Susie, even if she said repeatedly that she forgave him and she knew he didn’t want to hurt her. Even worse, he’d stopped shifting altogether, alienating himself from his brothers and father. His mother understood him, and his sister Jacqueline had stood somewhere between the two extremes, but it scantly mattered. There was nothing for him in Montana anymore, and as soon as he finished school, he packed his truck and got out of there. It was too painful being so close to Susie and to his roots, knowing that it wasn’t safe for him to give in to his animal side. Maybe one day, but not then. That day had never come and Julian wasn’t sure if he was ready for it even now.
He stared at the fire, which was starting to die down. His lips were pressed into a thin line.
Can you be sure she’s safe with you now? Julian asked himself. He’d been with plenty of women since Susie, but they had scantly mattered to him. No one made him feel, made him react like she did. Even at her cottage, he’d felt his rational mind quiet down and his emotions take over. He had not planned on asking her out, but seeing her face-to-face had given him no choice. Julian had to have her, if only for a moment. He’d just have to make sure that his bear knew who was in control this time.
“Well, guess I need to find a phone now,” Julian said to himself, scraping himself off the couch with a weary sigh. His stomach was in knots at the thought of taking Susie out, considering all they’d been through before. But he couldn’t help himself. His bear was so certain that she was the mate meant for them, and if he’d learned one thing during his business ventures, then it was to never doubt his instincts. They were never wrong.
CHAPTER FIVE
“What the hell, Julian!” Susie exclaimed with a gasp, clutching his arm as a black helicopter descended down onto the parking lot in front of her diner. Curious faces were gathering on the windows and doors, the patrons of the diner all curious to see what kind of antics the Arder boy was getting into again. He’d always been the one with the tricks up his sleeves, a lot more carefree than his down to earth brothers, and that had earned him the reputation of one of the local favorites. The fact that he was the former sweetheart of Susannah Maple didn’t hurt either. His return had caused quite a stir, and Susie wasn’t sure whether the chopper was more for show or function – Julian had always loved a good performance. Now he just had the means to put on his owns.
“A car wouldn’t get us where I want to take you, that’s all,” he said, flashing that devilish grin at her. He put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him. Susie’s breath caught in her chest, feeling the warmth and tightness of his body. He walked her towards the chopper, a door opening to accept them. Julian helped her in, and she tossed one look over her shoulder, catching Alice’s beaming face and her encouraging thumbs-up. Susie hadn’t quite been prepared for the kind of antics the middle Arder was now capable of, and she was beginning to wonder if she’d maybe bit off more than she could chew.
The door latched shut and Julian put a pair of headphones on her head. He took her bag from her hands and set it down next to a big picnic basket sitting between the two facing seats. With a motion of his hand, he told the pilot to take off again, and Susie’s stomach dropped through the floor as she felt the iron beast climb into the sky. She watched in wide-eyed surprise as the diner grew smaller and smaller until it was just a speck in the distance, the helicopter heading towards the mountains with a dizzying whir.
“I thought we could fly over Bear’s Grove and some of the mountains before going where I was planning to go. I don’t think you’ve really seen Montana before you’ve seen it from up here.” Julian took her hands in his again, and Susie felt another shudder in addition to the one the flight was giving her. She tried to keep from looking into his eyes, certain that otherwise she wouldn’t look anywhere else but at him for the rest of the flight.
The scenery took her breath away just as he had. The Cabinet Mountains loomed at each angle, snow-tipped peaks set apart from one another by deep, green valleys. The helicopter was taking a wide, rolling path through the nearby mountains, Susie knowing all of them as the backdrop of her life. Now, she was given a chance to see them up close, and it was a sight that wouldn’t soon be forgotten. She hadn’t noticed it until the chopper started slowing down and heading for a ledge off of one of the mountains, but she had been clutching Julian’s hands tightly, her nails digging into his skin. Susie let go of his hands with a start, and the man chuckled in reply, shaking his head.
“Don’t worry about it, Susie. Ready for our date?” he asked, the helicopter seconds from touching down on the ledge overlooking Bear’s Grove and the valley it sat in. Instead of replying, Susie grabbed the handle of the picnic basket and jumped out as soon as the door opened, a big grin on her lips.
“More than ready,” she chirped, leaving the headphones on the seat. Julian scrambled out after her, grabbing Susie’s bag and another bag he had brought with him. The helicopter took off, the pilot waving to both of them and leaving Julian with a conspiratory wink. Susie had to swallow the knowing smirk she felt brimming in her. Leave it to Julian to find a way to seclude himself from the world in the most spectacular way possible.
Susie dropped the basket and walked closer to the steep ledge, wrapping her arms around her. She had worn a thick jacket, preferring to prepare for anything instead of expecting Julian to be demure in his plans. The tall man came up behind her and carefully slipped his arms around her from behind, enveloping her in his warmth. She felt positively tiny next to him, her ample curves seeming barely enough next to his 6’7’’ stand and broad shoulders. He leant in a little and she could feel his breath tickling her neck, making her giggle – a noise she hardly ever emitted.
“What do you think of the view?” he asked. She cast a long look across the rolling mountains and the lush greenery below them, Yellowhead River snaking just past Bear’s Grove. She could almost make out the red roof of her diner, but only just. The pilot had taken on a long looping path through the wild Cabinet Mountains, but brought them pretty close to home at the end.
“I think it’s gorgeous. Thank you for bringing me here,” she said, glancing up at the blue-eyed billionaire. He smiled softly, squeezing her tighter against him. She knew she shouldn’t fall for his charms quite as easily, but she didn’t want to fight what felt right. It had taken her so long to get him to talk to her again, to face her without immediately feeling guilty for hurting her so long ago that she didn’t want to do anything to ruin it. Even if it did only feel like a beautiful daydream for a while.
“I thought we should come somewhere where we’d be reminded of who we were,” he said, his words pierced by a hint of carefulness. Susie pursed her lips before nodding, watching the smoke rise out of chimneys in the small settlement. Funny how perspective made things look a lot different.
“I agree. So, what’s the plan, mister billionaire?” she asked, teasing him. Julian scoffed good-naturedly.
“Hey, I can play the average Joe if you want. But I used my prerogative to sweep you off your feet.” He paused for a moment. “Is it working?”
Susie laughed and nodded, twisting around in his arms to face him. Her hands rested on his chest as she looked up, falling into his blue eyes just like she thought she would.
“I may be a little swept.”
“Good. On with the proceedings then,” he said, releasing her gently from his grasp. Susie was a little disappointed as he pulled away, heading back towards the big picnic basket and the pile of bags.
Patience, Susie. You both need to be careful. No rushing into things, she reminded herself. She’d tried so hard since seeing him the previous day to not get her hopes up too high. It could very well be that he just wanted to mend fe
nces and that he looked at her as little else than pleasant company, a ghost from his past. Susie took a deep breath and conjured a smile back on her lips, heading over to see what he was doing.
Besides, what would a billionaire want with a small-town girl anyway? He could get anyone he wanted. He might not be the same guy you remember, Susie.
Julian was busy unpacking a lavish dinner, tucked away in hotboxes and thermoses. Susie’s eyebrows hiked up as she recognized some of the containers and the tablecloth he was laying down on the cold ground, right next to a small fire pit. It was stocked with wood and there was plenty for later as well – Julian had obviously put some thought into things. Just as he lit a match from a matchbox he snuck out of his back pocket, Susie’s curiosity couldn’t be contained any longer.
“Are those from the diner?” she asked, pointing at a few of the dishes. Julian nodded, looking impossibly sheepish. The man may have changed, but there was plenty of the boy she remembered still in him. She remembered that look from way back when they got caught doing something they shouldn’t have, and he used his impossible charms to talk their way out of trouble.
“They are, yes. Did you know there aren’t that many caterers around here? Odd, huh? Your friend Alice helped me out with most of it. Sleeping with the enemy, huh?” he asked as the fire roared to life. Now it was Susie’s turn to scoff.
“I’ll have you know that Alice is a perfectly nice kid. She just has the misfortune of getting dragged into clan business.”