by Anya Nowlan
Why wouldn’t he tell me first? The thought had clattered in her head for days now, and she couldn’t take the noise anymore.
Her snowy boots hit the wooden deck, thumping lowly. She threw the door open and stepped inside, immediately bathed in warmth and light. Ryder was on his feet in the split of a second, a half-full whisky glass sitting in front of him. She had planned to stop and yell at him, but her feet kept going, covering the ground between them quickly. Suddenly, she knew exactly what she wanted. And more than that, what she needed.
“Why didn’t you tell me first!?” she demanded, but her hands were already around his neck and her lips already demanded for his mouth. Jackie almost knocked the big werebear back, but his arms latched around her with equal ferocity. They kissed, and the world seemed to fall away. His mouth was hot, and he tasted a bit bitter from the whiskey. It smothered her senses in the best of ways. Jackie’s nails dug into his shoulders as he picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist. Even if he wanted to reply to her, she didn’t give him a chance to.
She kissed him ferociously, drinking in his taste. He met her with firmness, his large palms kneading her ample ass as he carried her through his cabin in a flurry of groans and haphazard breaks. Jackie yelped as Ryder pushed her against the wall, tearing his lips from hers and kissing her neck and biting lightly at her earlobe. Her fingers ran through his thick, dirty blonde hair, tugging and pulling with a mix of lust and anger. She was shuddering all over, the sharp jolt of desire blinding her and making her world only revolve around getting more of him, and faster. Ryder tore her jacket off her shoulders, and she allowed it to drop on the corridor floor. By the time he’d walked them to his bedroom, Jackie had managed to drag off his shirt and leave it somewhere in a crumpled, forgotten pile.
He threw her on the bed, and Jackie’s hips bucked up against him as soon as he dove on top of her, his mouth seeking out hers with feverish want.
“I’ve missed you so badly,” Ryder murmured gruffly, kissing a path down to the swell of her heavy breasts. Her hands were running down his chest, cut and sculpted. A whimper sounded from her lips, all need and hunger. The moment she’d laid her eyes on him stepping into the house, she couldn’t deny what her body had been telling her since her first conversation alone with him. She wanted him, needed him. Jackie had managed to smother her urges for long enough, but no more. As angry as she was at him, she soared with the knowledge that he was the man she knew and loved. He hadn’t disappeared or changed. Maybe his methods had got more brutal, but the cold calculation couldn’t hide the anguish he had obviously felt when going through with his plan. And she wanted nothing more than to brush all that pain away and exchange it with pleasure, for both of them.
There were far more scars on him than she remembered. They were bumps under her fingertips that she yearned to get to know intimately, so nothing about his body would be new to her anymore. It had been too long, and she wasn’t about to miss another second. She’d have plenty of time to yell at him later.
“Shh, just fuck me, Ryder,” she hissed, her fingers quickly undoing his belt and pulling it off of his jeans with a satisfying whishing sound. She threw it over her head to the other side of the bed, and the heavy silver belt buckle clattered to the floor. Before she could undo the button and zipper on his jeans, he pulled back. A protest died in her throat as he pulled off her still snowy boots and then practically tore off her jeans, revealing her pale, milky thighs. She watched him whiff in a lungful of scent, a predatory smile crossing his lips. Her need for him was impossible to hide now. Jackie’s core throbbed and pulsed with expectation.
Her shirt was next to go, and he smoothly slipped a hand under her back, undoing the clasp of her bra. He undressed her with seasoned ease – hurried and aggressive but flawlessly efficient. Her cheeks were lit up with a scarlet blush, and her lips were plush with his kisses. She pressed her palm against his hard stomach and let it trail lower until she could feel the thick, pulsing length of his cock under her palm. Jackie groaned loudly, her back arching to slam her body against his. Only a pair of black lace panties still covered her curvy body, and she couldn’t believe that she was so close to getting what she’d dreamed of for countless nights. Ryder’s mouth was on her breasts, swirling his tongue across her taut nipples and teasing her heartlessly. Her hands flexed, and her nails ripped across his skin, leaving deep red marks. He hissed in a breath and grabbed her wrists, forcing them down on the bed.
“My rules, Jackie,” he said, stern and commanding. She couldn’t hide the smile that spread across her lips. He kissed her again, and his tongue tangled with hers, sending sparks scurrying through her. She was slick with her juices, her legs wrapped around his thighs and pulling him against her. The hardness of his cock, pressing just against her mound as she writhed against him, was tormenting her. Ryder kept her wrists pinned down, moving lower along her body with his lips. He kissed her chest and sucked one of her nipples between his teeth, making her mewl with need. She saw the flash of amber and brown in his eyes, the beast circling just under the surface. A chill went through her, her own bear equally as hungry.
Suddenly, he let go of her wrists and flipped her over on her stomach. Jackie was yanked up on her knees, her elbows digging into the soft covers. There was not an ounce of shyness to her, all her desire pointed straight at the man she’d loved and missed for so very long. He pulled down her panties, and she groaned as he spread her sex with his thick fingers. Her eyes fluttered closed, and her teeth grazed her lower lip as he explored her with the air of a conquering hero. He knew exactly what to do with her. Her folds were slick with her wetness, and he traced his rough fingertips along her swollen nub, making her gasp for breath. Ryder let out a grunt as she pushed back against his hand. Jackie’s eyes went wide as saucers as she received a heavy-handed smack on her ass for her insolence.
“Behave,” he snarled, and it made her grin ear to ear. She was going to give him a thorough talk after it was over about how he was supposed to treat her like a lady. But for now, she didn’t want to be a lady at all. She wanted him, all of him.
One hand left her hip, and her body tensed with anticipation as she heard the zipper of his jeans coming undone. Just then, he moved two fingers to her aching opening and slid them in, slowly. She moaned and bucked against him again, violently making his fingers slip into her hot tunnel. Jackie gasped again, a guttural moan bubbling in her throat. It was only the warm-up for what was to come, but damn it was exactly what she needed. Instead of indulging her further, Ryder’s fingers left her pussy and another smack colored her asscheek pink. Seconds later, she could feel the pressure of the thick head of his cock pushing against her sex. He wouldn’t let her dictate the tone now, both of his hands gripping her by the hips.
“Beg for it,” he said simply, making Jackie look over her shoulders. She blushed with surprise and anger, but the determination in his eyes shushed her protests. She’d plowed into his house like a hurricane of lust, she might as well plead him to plow into her the same way. Jackie swallowed her pride, reminding herself that there was nothing she wouldn’t do to have him at that very moment.
“Please fuck me, Ryder,” she said. Their blue eyes stayed on each other as Ryder smirked, looking devilishly pleased with her submission. He drove into her so hard it robbed her of her breath and shoved her against the mattress. Jackie pushed back, her nails digging into the soft covers. His cock was huge, grinding into her with raw need. Her world faded away, leaving nothing but ecstasy. She screamed like a hellcat, the pain and pleasure from being without him for so long mingling together and driving her wild.
“Is this what you wanted, Jackie?” he growled, his voice wrapping around her. Every word dripped with lust, animalistic and bare. Each stroke took him deeper into her, and her thighs were quivering. She was barely held up by her hips, the big Alpha taking her with the desire of a man kept from his prize for far, far too long. It was absolutely orgasmic and her moans confirmed just that.
Her sensitive nipples grazed against the covers – almost too much to tolerate. He bent over her, slowing his thrusts into her. She whimpered softly as his teeth grazed across her shoulder, sharp and pressing against her skin, almost hard enough to draw blood. One hand slipped between her legs and the other cupped one of her breasts, making her melt into a puddle on the bed. Ryder’s fingers made lazy circles on her clit and kneaded her full, heavy breasts. Sweat dappled her skin, and she threw her head back against his shoulder, her excitement cresting over her. Jackie shuddered and then the first spasm of her orgasm struck through her like a lightning bolt. She creamed, and he ground into her harder, not giving her a moment to think, only to feel.
“That’s it, baby. Come for me,” he murmured into her ear. His breath was hot on her neck. She forgot about everything other than her release, and it was heaven. The air around them was electric, and she felt like the world pulsed in the beat of her release, Ryder having control over all of it. She gave herself to it willingly, gladly. Her orgasm seemed to go on forever, the culmination of more than a year of needing, wanting and missing. It clasped and released around her, flooding her senses.
When she was just coming down from the high, he pulled out of her.
“No, don’t,” she whispered, but Ryder got off of her and gently laid her on her back. Her knees spread for him immediately, and when he entered her again, she sucked for breath. Her nails raked down his sides, lavishing in the feeling of the hard muscles contracting as she moved her hands down along his body.
“Don’t worry, I won’t leave you wanting,” he said, his words tinted with strain. She opened her eyes, and his clear blue eyes peered deep into her, cutting through the haze of desire that clouded her vision. It was pure exhilaration, being so vulnerable in front of him. Jackie hadn’t known how badly she needed to tuck herself into the shadow of his strength before she was back with him. As powerful and capable as she was, she was always at her best when she was with him. And she knew it was the same for him.
He was careful now, and she fell into rhythm with him, her hips moving up against his as he dug into her. She laid her hands flat on his skin, letting her palms track up to his shoulders and face, then wrapping her fingers into his hair. He didn’t break eye contact, and she could read all the pain that he’d carried with him since that horrific night when they’d both lost so much.
“I love you, Jackie,” he said softly, kissing her with tenderness. She could feel tears burning her eyes, but she ignored them. Her hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him against her tightly and eagerly kissing him back. She didn’t need to say it back, she was sure he knew without the words. But she made a pact with herself then and there to never forget to say it when she felt it. They’d robbed themselves of too much time to leave any room for regrets again.
They’d gone from angry, fevered sex to something more like an embrace – careful, gentle. Her muscles tensed around him as he took his time, sinking into her and pulling out. Jackie kissed his neck, his chin, his cheeks. The scruff on his chin scraped against her delicate skin. She reveled in it. Her legs locked on his lower back, not letting him too far from her. Her supple curves melded against his hard, sculpted muscles, creating a perfect combination of tough and soft. She rocked against him, urging him to his release. Ryder groaned deeply and when he reached his peak, they both gasped. He rutted into her, and she kissed him, bathing in his moans. For a passing moment, she almost wished she was in heat.
There’ll be time, she told herself. The certainty in her mind surprised her. But it didn’t scare her. Nothing could scare her anymore.
***
Her palm was flat on his chest, the short blonde hairs curling between her spread fingers. Jackie listened to Ryder’s heartbeats, strong and even. Her blonde hair was spread over his shoulder, and his lips rested against the top of her head. Sometimes, he stroked the small of her back with his gruff hands. She always pushed herself against his touch.
“I’ve missed this,” she admitted, smiling as Ryder snorted.
“I don’t think we have enough time to count everything I’ve missed.”
Jackie looked up slightly, meeting his eyes. The sun was starting to peek in through the curtains, a ray of warmth tracking across the bed and making Jackie’s blond hair shimmer. It was a few hours since early dawn and only now had the two werebear lovers found the time to take a moment to catch their breaths. They couldn’t get enough of each other, experiencing each other as if for the first time over and over again. The culmination of a long wait, frustration and the most blazing lust had combined into one terrific, if not completely exhausting night.
“You didn’t answer me earlier,” she said, careful to keep the accusation out of her tone. She didn’t have the energy to get angry at him. Not right now. Ryder nodded, his lips growing thin as he pressed them together. She could read him like a book, she thought, and discovering the contrary had been shocking.
“I didn’t.”
“Why not?”
“I wasn’t sure what I was going to do yet,” he said simply. “Even with you here, I thought there might be a way to make my plan work. It would have been harder for me, but if I’d attacked Jackson when Jonah and Julian were close enough, then maybe…” Ryder trailed off, a harshness entering his expression. Jackie twisted around, resting her elbows on his chest.
“You can’t talk like that anymore,” she said sternly. “You’re not going to become some kind of martyr in the name of the clans. I won’t allow it.”
“Oh, you won’t allow it!” Ryder scoffed, smiling. “Well if Jacqueline Arder says so, then I guess that’s how it’s going to be.”
“Yes,” Jackie agreed, nodding. “That whole plan was entirely stupid, just so you know.”
“It worked, though, didn’t it? We’re all here. Julian’s shifting again. Jonah is building a life with a Bitterroot bear. The young bears, our strongest force, are back and all ready to defend their home. The only thing that didn’t work was combining us together as one clan. Everything else worked like a charm.” She still didn’t look too convinced. “We can agree to disagree on that. Just this once,” Ryder said, laying a kiss on her forehead. Jackie smiled to herself, snuggling against him again. Just this once, she wasn’t going to worry about everything. Just this once, she was going to let it all go and just enjoy the moment.
CHAPTER TEN
Jackie frowned, hearing the front door slam downstairs. She quickly sat up on the bed at the sound of familiar voices sharing murmured greetings.
“Jackson.”
“Ryder.”
Heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs, and Jackie jumped up on her feet tentatively, the same scowl planted on her expression. It had been a few days since she spent the night with Ryder. She’d barely managed to keep herself from returning to him every night. The more she thought about it, the more impossible it was to keep away from him. They were mates, there were no doubts about that, and there was nothing more frustrating than staying away from one’s fated love. Still, Jackie wondered and worried. And gnawed on her lip and tossed at night. Had there been too many difficulties between her and Ryder to make it work? Was it meant to fail, no matter how hard they tried to make it work? Doubts bit at her in every direction she looked, but the heated flush that ran through her when the big man pushed the door open and came into view told her at least one thing in clear, bold letters – she wanted him, needed him.
Ryder didn’t say a word, a bright twinkle of mischief in his eyes.
“Hey, what are you doing?” Jackie demanded as Ryder stepped to her still half-packed sui
tcase, pushing it shut and zipping it up. “Ryder?” she asked, watching him pick up the suitcase. He stepped over to her, and before she could do anything about it, he had gripped her with one arm just under her ass and hauled her over his shoulder. Without further ado, he spun around and headed back for the door, Jackie and suitcase in hand.
“Ryder! You damn bastard! Let me go!” Jackie gasped, bouncing up and down a little as Ryder bounded down the stairs. He answered with only a low chuckle, smacking her on the ass as he jumped down the last two steps of the stairs. To her horror, Jackson and Tess were standing in the middle of the living room, Jackson with his arms crossed over his chest and a wide grin on his face.
“Tess. Jackson.” Ryder said, nodding at his friend and fellow Alpha.
“Ryder. Jackie.” Jackson confirmed back, the twitch of his lip saying that he was on the verge of breaking out in laughter.
“Jackson! God damn it! Would you tell him to put me down!?” Jackie screeched as Ryder was already heading out the door, his mate safely with him.
“Nope. You two have fun.”
Jackie let out an exasperated sigh as Ryder threw her suitcase in his truck and opened the passenger door for her, sliding her into his arms and then placing her gently on the seat. She glared daggers at him, but Ryder’s expression was as determined as it had ever been.
“Now, now, baby. Don’t give me that face. I gave you plenty of time. Since you’ve decided to play dumb, I’m going to move things along a bit here.” He smirked, and Jackie felt that familiar heat pooling between her legs, betraying her insolent fury.