Uncanny Kingdom: An Eleven Book Urban Fantasy Collection (Uncanny Kingdom Omnibus 1)

by David Bussell

  ‘Detective? You’ll want to drink some of this,’ I said waggling the bottle in her direction. But she didn’t reply, and she didn’t look back.

  ‘Hey, Detective,’ said Eva, ‘I know that thing looks knocked out, but you might wanna stay a little back from it. We’ve all seen horror films. Fuckers like that love a good back-from-the-dead jump scare.’

  But Myers didn’t stop.

  ‘Hey, I’m not joking,’ said Eva moving to pull her back. Myers swept her arm back and Eva flew through the air.

  I stared at Eva in astonishment as she landed in a heap across the other side of the pews.

  Myers hadn’t even touched her.

  No.

  She’d just used magic.

  17

  I ran Eva and helped her back onto her feet.

  ‘Eva, that was magic.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Detective Maya Myers just used magic on you.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘But she can’t do magic.’

  ‘If you make me say “I know” one more time I swear to god I’m going to punch you in the neck.’

  Myers was now stood over the prone bulk of Mr Many Mouths.

  ‘Myers, Maya, what are you doing?’ I asked, but it's like she was in a trance, her face pale.

  The stone floor began to tremble, dust rising. I could see the magic in the air begin to swirl and snarl. I wasn’t having to force myself to see it, it was just suddenly there, visible.

  And it was all flowing towards Maya Myers.

  She raised her hands above her head and the magic struck them like lightning rods.

  ‘Yep, this feels like something really bad is going to happen,’ said Eva.

  ‘Like what?’ I said, unable to take my eyes off Myers.

  And then the something bad happened.

  Myers sprang through the air and onto the unconscious Mr Many Mouths. Her hands dug into its flesh, no, melted through the flesh, until she was up to her wrists in it, head thrown back in rapture. She was draining something from the creature. An essence? A life force?

  ‘Oh no. Oh no, no, no,’ said Eva.

  ‘What? What is she doing?’

  ‘Stand back,’ she commanded and ran towards Myers, her hands igniting.

  ‘Eva, no!’

  She thrust out her hands and flames arced from her and went roaring towards Myers. I staggered back, unable to believe what I was seeing.

  But then yet another surprising thing happened.

  The flames didn’t touch Myers, nor Mr Many Mouths. It’s like there was a bubble around the two, and the flames just bounced right off.

  ‘We’ve gotta stop her,’ said Eva.

  ‘What is it she’s even doing?’

  Dark smoke trails were pouring from the body of Mr Many Mouths and flooding directly into Myers, who bucked and writhed in apparent ecstasy.

  ‘She’s draining him,’ replied Eva.

  ‘Of magic?’

  ‘Yes, but not just magic. Of its Uncanny essence. Of its very particular Uncanny essence.’

  She was talking about the Dark Lakes.

  ‘Why is she doing that?’ I asked.

  ‘Does it look like I have all the answers, idiot? I’m seeing this for the first time, just like you!’

  A fair point.

  ‘So what? What can we do?’

  As it turned out, there was nothing to be done, and no time to do it.

  Myers screamed and ripped her hands apart, sending the shredded body of Mr Many Mouths flying around around the church. Many Mouths was no longer a threat. He now lay spread around the church in football-sized chunks. Just like all the farm animals. Just like Mr Madden and his young children.

  Eva stepped in beside me, her face dripping with gore.

  ‘You’ve got something on your face,’ I said.

  She snorted.

  I turned back to Myers, who was now unconscious on the floor, curled up with an unnerving smile across her serene-looking face.

  ‘She’s had a big meal,’ said Eva. ‘Let’s get her before nap time’s over.’

  We cleaned the church up as best we could and then left the residents to it. They’d wake up at some point and wonder why they’d all decided to take a slumber party in the local parish, then wander off to their homes, and hopefully never mention it again.

  We laid Myers out on a bed back at the Coven. Actually, we went a step further than that; we strapped her down, ankles and wrists, and added a further restraint across her torso, just in case.

  Eva entered the room, a drink in her hand, and a grimmer-than-usual look on her face.

  ‘Any ideas?’ I asked.

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘I think jockeys should be made to race with a horse on their back to see how they like it.’

  ‘That’s fascinating,’ I sighed, ‘but not terribly useful in this current situation.’

  Eva threw up her hands. ‘Isn’t it obvious, idiot? Myers is possessed.’

  ‘Possessed like... The Exorcist?’

  ‘Dunno. Could be a demon, yeah. Could be a lot of different things. Whatever it is, it was feeding on the essence of all those dead animals.’

  ‘And Mr Madden and his two children.’

  ‘Yeah. But she didn’t attack any of the other farmers, which means maybe she couldn’t. Maybe whatever was inside her was trying to grow in strength, bit by bit, and the Madden guy and his kids were the first time it was strong enough to take down people.’

  ‘Oh, at the first crime scene, she mentioned how things had been scaling up. From single animals at first, to the barn full we saw.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘And then it got strong enough to do that to Mr Many Mouths.’

  Eva nodded and prodded at Myers with the toe of her boot. The Detective rocked back and forth, but didn’t wake, didn’t make a sound.

  ‘What I don’t understand is why whatever’s inside her would suddenly be so brazen,’ I said. ‘The other attacks were done in secret, this time she did it right in front of us.’

  ‘Yeah. I have a not great theory about that.’

  ‘Awesome, I love foreboding-sounding theories that will forever haunt my dreams.’

  ‘It’s like I said back at the church, she was draining a kind of Uncanny energy that could only be part of something from the Dark Lakes.’

  I shifted uncomfortably.

  ‘Couldn’t hold itself back. It wanted that Dark Lakes hook-up, and it didn’t care about hiding anymore, because after that meal, it wouldn’t need to hide. It wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip away for that kind of meal, so it took her over in front of us. Took control of the wheel and shoved Detective Myers into the back seat.’

  I thought back to the church. To when I thought I was about to be taken over, a tongue down my throat. And then Myers had taken my hand and I’d done something impossible. I’d felt… in control. I had complete mastery of the magic that surrounded me. I felt like a giant. I could make it do anything I wanted it to. And what I’d wanted it to do was attack, and attack it did, bursting from me in a powerful, concussive wave.

  A cough erupted from Myers and her eyes snapped open, causing me to almost fall off my chair in surprise. ‘Myers? Is that you?’

  She pulled at the restraints, trying to sit up and failing. ‘What happened, where am I?’

  ‘Myers, it’s okay, you’re okay,’ I said.

  ‘The same can’t be said for the mouthy twat back at the church,’ said Eva. ‘You turned that ugly fucker into meat confetti.’

  ‘I don’t remember. I don’t remember. I woke in the church and then… I don’t remember!’ She was panicking, writhing in the bed, pulling against the restraints.

  ‘Why am I tied down? What are you doing to me?’

  ‘They’re a safety precaution,’ said Eva.

  ‘To protect me from what?’ she replied.

  ‘No,’ I said, ‘they’re to protect us from you.’

 
Myers looked at me in utter, silent bewilderment. ‘What the fuck are you talking about? Untie me! That’s an order!’

  ‘You can’t order shit,’ said Eva.

  ‘I am an officer of the law and you will release me!’

  ‘No can do, sexy,’ said Eva. ‘Besides, if anyone’s in trouble with the old bill, it’s you.’

  Myers looked to me. She’d started to regain her composure, or at least she was pretending she had. ‘Joe, what is this mad cow talking about?’

  ‘The animals,’ I said. ‘The sheep, the horses, the pigs.’

  ‘What about them?’

  ‘We think that was you.’

  Myers let that sink in for a moment. ‘What the fuck are you talking about?’

  ‘You’re possessed, bitch,’ said Eva, reaching over to rap her knuckles against the top of Myers’ head. ‘Oi, whoever’s hiding in there, you might as well come out and say hello. You already gave the game away back at the church, so there’s no point playing shy.’

  ‘Joe, please,’ said Myers.

  ‘Eva’s telling the truth. It’s you. Well, something that’s inside of you. It killed those animals. It killed Mr Madden and his children.’

  ‘No…’

  I frowned and nodded.

  ‘I… I couldn’t.’

  ‘Well, you did,’ said Eva.

  ‘I’d know if I had. Surely I’d know?’

  ‘Technically, it wasn’t you,’ said Eva, ‘but they did die at your hand.’

  ‘Oh, Christ. No. You’re lying. You have to be.’

  ‘I think that’s why you were feeling off at the crime scenes,’ said Eva. ‘Why you passed out at the Madden place. You unconsciously recognised the places, the bloody scenes you were walking through. Conscious and unconscious mind and memory fighting over what you were seeing. Short circuit. Down you go.’

  There wasn’t a lot I could say to try and make her feel better. She’d just found out that she had the blood of children on her hands. Maybe she hadn’t meant to do it, maybe she hadn’t had any control or awareness at all, but the last thing those kids had seen had been her face.

  ‘I’m bored now,’ said Eva, shoving the bed with the sole of her boot. ‘Whoever it is hiding inside of Detective Myers like a cowardly little fuck better come out and say hello right now, or I’m going to stop playing nice.’

  ‘It’s me, it’s just me,’ pleaded Myers.

  ‘Right, fuck this,’ said Eva, her fingertips glowing white hot. ‘Either you come out and say hello or I’m going to shove my hand in there and pull you out.’ She raised her hand and it began to blur.

  ‘Can you really do that?’ I asked.

  ‘Done it before. I’ll reach in and drag the fucker out.’

  Myers head snapped back; she began to shake, to convulse. I instinctively ran to her, tried to hold her still.

  ‘We need to force something between her teeth!’ I said.

  ‘Get back, idiot,’ said Eva.

  ‘She might bite her tongue off!’

  Eva yanked me away, ‘I said back!’

  Now it wasn’t just Myers convulsing, it was the whole bed, its legs bouncing and thumping against the floor.

  ‘What’s happening?’ I asked.

  ‘I think Myers’ guest is making an appearance at last.’

  The shaking stopped, all was quiet.

  I leaned closer to the bed, wanted to reach out and take her hand.

  Then Myers’ eyes opened and she turned to me, smiling. But it wasn’t her smile, and her eyes didn’t look like Myers’ eyes. They looked like they had back at the church, when she’d taken my hand in hers.

  ‘So, you finally decided to come out of the closet, eh?’ said Eva, lighting a smoke. ‘You know I’m still getting you out of there. Whether you choose the easy way or the hard way, that’s up to you. But I’m giving you the chance to walk out yourself, because I’m a fucking sweetheart.’

  Myers chuckled.

  ‘Did I say something funny, fuck face?’

  ‘Spit from my mouth,’ growled Myers, her voice strange and deep.

  Eva’s eyes widened.

  ‘What did you say?’ she asked.

  ‘It’s already too late, Eva. It’s done.’

  The cigarette tumbled from Eva’s fingers and she stepped back. ‘No...’ she said, her voice a whisper.

  ‘What’s happening, Eva?’ I said. I’d never seen her look like that before, and it terrified me right through to my bones.

  ‘Dirt from the ground, spit from my mouth,’ said Myers, said the thing inside Myers.

  ‘It can’t be,’ said Eva.

  ‘Can’t be what, Eva? Talk to me!’

  ‘Say my name, familiar.’

  Eva shook her head.

  ‘Say it. Call me by my name.’

  Eva’s fists were clenched to her chest, her face drained of colour.

  ‘Say. My. Name.’

  Eva’s lips trembled, but no sound came from between them.

  And then she said it. Then she called the thing by its name.

  ‘Janto.’

  18

  Unpredictability is Eva’s default, but I still found myself taken aback by what she did next.

  She didn’t throw obscenities, or conjure a wall of flame, or even pull out a can of absurdly strong lager.

  No.

  She left.

  ‘Eva!’

  She didn’t pause, didn’t reply, she just said the name, turned around, and walked out.

  The name.

  To be more precise, my name. My real name.

  I should have left too. Should have gotten the hell out of that room as quickly as I knew how. But my name had been spoken and I needed to know why. I thought again about when Myers had held my hand back at the church. How I’d suddenly felt more complete. How I’d been in total control of the magic that surrounded me.

  ‘Is that really you? Or, well, me, I suppose?’

  ‘You aren’t me,’ she said. ‘I’m Janto of the Cumbrian Coven, you’re just what was left behind after the real me was scraped out and tossed aside. After they tried to exterminate me.’

  If she, or he, was telling the truth, I suppose that explained exactly why I couldn’t remember any of my past before I woke up naked next to Derwentwater. I hadn’t just forgotten, it had literally been removed from me. I’d been split in two, and everything I was now were the bits of me that weren’t somehow wrong. That weren’t attracted by the lure of that unholy Dark Lakes throne.

  ‘So, we were… I was, I mean, split in two?’

  ‘But you kept the body. What they did, what she did, it was supposed to kill us. Instead it did this.’

  ‘So you possessed Myers just to get close to me?’

  ‘Oh, I’ve been inside of her since long before you ever met. For years, after what happened, after we were torn apart, I drifted. Barely sentient. More an idea than a reality. But bit by bit, I forced myself back into being. They underestimated me. The sort of power I possess. My iron will. You cannot simply scrub me from existence. I am Janto of the Cumbrian Coven, destined to walk across this small world as the Magic Eater.’

  The old me was a bit of a big head, that much was clear.

  ‘But why Myers?’ I asked. ‘What did she do to deserve this?’

  ‘I needed a body. I couldn’t just drift in and out of this plane of existence, not if I wanted to come back. To really come back. You have no idea what it takes to carry on existing in this state, blown around by the Uncanny winds. Slipping between planes of existence. But I persevered. I refused to fade. And then I met Detective Maya Myers, radiating fury, pain, strength, crouched by the body of her murdered partner. She was a beacon, shining bright, guiding me to her. So I homed in on her. I homed in and I took her.’

  I thought about what Detective Martins had said when he’d found me at Myers’ home.

  ‘She did ask for a transfer up here,’ I said. ‘She wasn’t pushed here to get her out of the way. You made her come here.’
/>   Janto chuckled. ‘It seems as though not all of the intelligence was knocked out of you.’

  I was trying not to focus too much on the strange notion that I was, essentially, having a conversation with myself. But this was all very bloody weird. ‘You’ve made my friend do horrible things,’ I said.

  ‘Necessary things. I needed to feed. And I did. Deliciously. On fear. On the possibility of a life cut short. On flesh and blood and sinew. Each new death making me stronger. Making me more real. And Eva was correct, that meal from the Dark Lakes, I could not let that pass me by. Could not wait. But I was still not strong enough to tackle the creature head on.’

  ‘So you took my hand,’ I said. ‘That’s why you did that, why I felt like I did for those few moments.’

  ‘For a few heartbeats, we had access to our full potential. Access to enough magic to take the creature down, ready to eat. And now, I am ready to reclaim what’s mine. To take the throne that was promised me.’

  Janto sat bolt upright, the bonds that had held Maya’s body in place melting away, turned to water.

  I darted for the door, only for it to slam shut in front of me.

  ‘Where are you going, Joe?’ asked Janto.

  I twisted the handle desperately, yanking at the door, but it stayed stubbornly shut.

  ‘I think I left the gas on,’ I said. ‘Safety first.’

  ‘Look what she made of us. A chattering fool.’

  ‘But we still have lovely hair.’

  I gasped as I was yanked from my feet and sent flying across the room as if attached to a giant elastic band. I crashed against the wall and slammed heavily to the floor.

  ‘You’re not going anywhere,’ said Janto, stepping from the bed, hands glowing with power.

  ‘You don’t really want to hurt me,’ I said, ‘we’re not the self-destructive type!’

  ‘I’m not going to hurt you, Joe.’