Once Burned

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Once Burned Page 13

by Jennifer Willows


  Shortly thereafter, her teens bolted upstairs and she was left alone with Spencer.

  “Lay it on me.” He said simply. He was her Atlas, willing to bear her worries with grace.

  And she adored him for it. “Not much to lay on you. Javier called me at work today and asked to speak with us. After Paris and Malik agreed, he dropped by tonight. Apologized.”

  “There’s more to it than that, but I think you don’t believe it.”

  “What would that be?”

  “I think he wanted you back.” He sighed and dry washed his face with both hands. “Still wants you back.”

  “Not possible, Javier knows…” He knew what?

  Juniper hated Javier for longer than she could remember, now she didn’t feel anything for him. But the man had to know she would never take him back after the way he left all those years ago.

  “He might understand why you won’t have him back. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you back.” And when she thought about it, Spencer may have been right.

  But when she looked at him, she saw something more than that in his eyes. To her, it felt as if he were afraid that she might want her ex back too.

  She had to reassure him, he was too good of a man not to do as much. “You know that I’m not going anywhere right?”

  He smiled, but the lift of lips was weak, compared to what she was used to, the wholehearted way he lived his life. Without reservations. “I hope so Juniper. I’ve never felt like this for another woman in my entire life.”

  “How do you feel then, Spencer? I don’t read minds very well, not like you do.”

  He chuckled. “I don’t read minds, I just sense emotions. That’s what empathy is all about. Understanding emotions.”

  “True. But you still haven’t told me what you’re thinking.”

  He looked at her and pulled her closer, so they nested together perfectly, a couplet of Matryoshka dolls carefully crafted as a perfect fit. Spencer looked down at her and kissed her forehead.

  “You’re the one.”

  Hearing her ex-husband say he loved her hadn’t elicited a response akin to the way she felt in that moment.

  Heck, when thought Javier clearly showed how little he loved her, or their children, she didn’t feel this much either.

  Never in life had three simple words made her heart lurch sideways and her palms sweat. It was so monumental, that she knew her life was split into fractions from it.

  Before children and after.

  Before Spencer and after.

  It would be one of the moments she would die with on the brain, the only baggage she would carry every again.

  “The one?” Her throat was nearly closed off and the words emerged as a mere thread of her real voice.

  “Yeah. You know what I mean. The one, Juniper. The one person you dream about as a kid that you forget as you grow up and life happens. The person the world spends their lives searching for, and most never find. The one that makes aging beautiful because they’ll sit on the porch with you. That one. I feel like every choice I ever made was to know you. To become the man you needed me to be.”

  Juniper nodded her head and felt the waterworks threaten.

  “You’re the one, Spencer. My one. I’m sorry that I’ve held so much of myself back for so long.”

  He cupped her face in the familiar way she’d come to associate with him alone. “How about I’m just grateful that I won’t have to go home with a broken heart.”

  Juniper huffed and rolled her eyes. “I’m no heart breaker, Spencer.”

  He laughed. “You would think so, but I know differently. Get comfortable and meet me in your back yard. You have five minutes before I send in the National Guard.”

  Juniper chuckled and trotted up to her room. She tossed things about, looking for something casual that didn’t sport a hole or two. But she didn’t want to look like she was trying too hard either. She had no idea what he’d planned for them.

  And for once, being unsure of what came next didn’t bother her in the least.

  After four minutes of tossing her room into a mess that she didn’t have time to clean, Juniper pulled on a pair of leggings and an off the shoulder sweatshirt that Paris had given her for mother’s day a few years ago. The black, oversized top sported bold golden script proclaiming her to be “The Best Mother in America”.

  It wasn’t her first choice, but better than her other options at the moment.

  She didn’t bother with shoes and pulled her hair into a ponytail as she flitted down the stairs. As she opened the back door located in the corner of her kitchen, she saw a string of lights circle the patio. They were similar to the ones Spencer had in his roof top garden. But these were much dimmer than his.

  The first foot step she’d taken made her look down at the softness cushioning her toes from chilled pavement, where she saw blush colored rose petals piled in a thick mound at the door and scattered across the expanse of concrete.

  There was no way he had done all of that in five minutes.

  Either he had done a lot more than she had fathomed when he was in her home earlier, or he had shanghaied her children into helping out.

  Maybe both.

  “So what do you think?”

  “I love it. It’s beautiful.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “No. I think I should have put something nicer on.” Juniper smiled, but she couldn’t help the way her head dipped south and she intently studied the petals as if they would tell her the future.

  Like tea leaves.

  “Juniper, you know that I care about you. And I’ll always take you as you are. I don’t need the fancy stuff, makeup, heels and slinky clothes.” At Juniper’s snort, he smiled. “Okay, maybe I have a fondness for slinky.”

  “I think you do.”

  Spencer smirked and opened his mouth to respond. Before anything was said, a chime rang out and broke the moment.

  “Ah. Wait a minute, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  He walked to the small table and fiddled with something she couldn’t see. Juniper realized it was a radio, when the jazz classic “In a Sentimental Mood” drifted from the speakers and into the air. It was one of her favorite songs, one she used to listen to with her father when she was young.

  She would watch her parents dance to the soothing tune late at night when they thought she was abed.

  He extended one hand. “Will you dance with me?”

  “Yes.” Their arms naturally fell into place and after the first three steps, they fell into age-old patterns that were more innate than breathing.

  When the last soulful strain of saxophone drifted into nothingness, Spencer stopped dancing and ran one hand over her face, from temple to chin and kissed her softly on the lips.

  In those moments, the final pieces clicked into place.

  Dear lord, she was in love.

  Not like.

  Not lust.

  But madly, deeply in love.

  She was so lost in the moment that she stopped listening to the radio.

  Until she heard the deejay’s voice.

  “And here’s a word from our sponsors.” The commercial break had interrupted the romantic moment and Juniper wondered if she should run inside and grab a pair of shoes.

  She might as well. “I’m going to go inside and put on shoes right quick.”

  “No.” He said. His voice didn’t hold any urgency, but he gripped her arm as if he was loathe to let her walk away for even the moment needed to be properly shod. “Have a drink with me.”

  Juniper shrugged and watched him pour two flutes half way with champagne.

  She sipped the offered stem slowly, savored the flavor of the grapes. She wasn’t an aficionado, but the vintage tasted really good even to her untutored palate.

  When she was about to speak, to tell him how much she appreciated him, the radio broke in again with a second of static. “That station is about to drive me up the wall.”

 
But before Spencer could reply, she heard the deejay cut back in. “And before we get back to our regularly scheduled programming? Good luck, to my man Spencer. Hopefully, he’ll give us an update when he gets an answer to his question. Here is our last spot until the top of the hour.”

  Spencer? That name wasn’t very common and it sparked another question that she didn’t get the chance to ask as the advertised spot aired obnoxiously loud into the air around them.

  It was Spencer’s voice that emerged next from the radio. “I know it hasn’t been long since we met.” Juniper looked at Spencer, then back towards the radio again. “But I know what I want. You. Juniper, I love you with every fiber of my being and every part of my soul. I want to make every promise to you and keep them too. I want to grow old and raise children with you. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me? Be my wife and the love of my life?”

  Juniper’s jaw must have hit the ground as her mouth was suddenly dry and pasty. She turned back to Spencer. But instead of looking up, she had to look down as he was bent on one knee before her.

  His expression was expectant and she knew this was the real deal.

  Her first real proposal.

  So she said the only thing she could. “Where’s the ring, big man?”

  He pointed at the glass she held and Juniper looked down to find a glint of sparkle in the bottom amid the dregs of champagne.

  “Oh, my god!” Juniper exclaimed as she looked back down at him.

  Despite the fact that she knew he was for real, the sight of the ring cemented it. Made the thought concrete actuality.

  She was getting married, again.

  But this time was for keeps.

  “So what do you have to say, my beautiful lady?”

  “Yes!” What else could she say?

  Amid several whoops and some hollering, Juniper looked away from Spencer’s embrace to see her children hanging halfway out of their bedroom windows.

  “Go mom!” Paris cried out.

  “Go Spencer!” Malik yelled over the crickets and suburban silence.

  “Go to bed!” Juniper called out, but there was no ire in her voice, there was only room for joy.

  Epilogue: Living Well Is the Best Revenge

  After a short engagement, Juniper and Spencer had the wedding of their dreams. The guest list was a short one, with only fifteen people in attendance.

  Spencer pared his huge extended family down to six people, his mother, aunt, two cousins and his two of his closest friends.

  Juniper had her mother, aunt, grandmother, Malik and Paris. The last invite was given to Javier and she was surprised that he used it, but it seemed a fitting way to close that chapter on her life.

  Their nuptials were held on Spencer’s rooftop garden with standing room only amid the flowers and strung lights.

  Malik walked her down the aisle and she looked at the man she had fallen head over heels for.

  Juniper looked at Spencer, so handsome in his grey tuxedo. But with the man he had become over the years, he shunned the tie that went with it.

  Juniper wore a simple strapless gown in a pale silver tone crusted with beading that scattered the moonlight around her and she eschewed the formality of a veil. When Malik delivered Juniper to her intended, his eyes caressed her just before he wrapped his arms around her.

  The world seemed to stop spinning, Juniper thought she stopped breathing and there was nothing more important than being where she was right now.

  Their official began speaking, but she didn’t hear a single word.

  Spencer separated from their embrace and held both her hands with his own. “I am so grateful to every challenge I’ve faced in life, because those obstacles molded me into a man you could love and the man you needed.” His hands cradled hers firmly, let her know he was truly committed to their current course, and his gaze trapped hers as he continued.

  “I, Spencer, vow to you, Juniper, that I will always encourage your compassion, because that single trait makes you special and beautiful inside.

  I promise to nurture your dreams, because those hopes make your soul shine.

  I vow to help you bear every burden as you have mine, because we are stronger together than apart.

  I promise to be your partner, because without you, I am less than complete.

  I vow to love and treasure you, because one lifetime is nowhere near enough.

  Every vow is more than a promise, but a sacred oath, because I get the honor of growing older and wiser with you.

  I get to laugh and cry and love, and for the honor you have bestowed me by becoming my wife, I will be everything you need me to be. The same as you have already offered me.

  And even as I speak these vows, there is still a part of me that cannot believe I get the privilege of offering you my last name.” He never looked away from her, in fact, it was as if she were the only spot of color in a black and white universe.

  He rubbed a thumb over her cheeks and Juniper felt surprised at the liquid that beaded there. She didn’t even know she was crying in the first place.

  Juniper knew she would never forget what he said to her. Despite the handful of guests, it was as if they were alone and only the moon bore witness as they were wed.

  She was so stunned at the beauty of his vows that she had to be prompted to speak her own. Paris prodded her with a slick poke in the spine.

  Juniper looked down at the piece of paper she clenched with her handwritten vows.

  The words were half smeared and faded from crumpling.

  “I never believed in soul mates, until you.

  I never believed that god had fashioned someone just for me, until you.”

  She took a breath and looked into his eyes again. At that moment, what was written on the paper no longer mattered and she crumpled it into nothingness again.

  “You made me believe in the goodness of mankind.

  You made me believe in the beauty of the world that I had been blind to.

  I never imagined that I would be grateful for the mere sight of someone, until you.

  Your love for life and acceptance melted parts of me that I didn’t even know were frozen.

  Your love for me mended parts that I didn’t even know were broken.

  Your love for my children grounded me, fulfilled me.

  Your love is so total and complete that I can no longer live without it.

  And I vow that I will be everything you need.

  I will be there for the good, the bad, and ugly.

  I will be there for the illness, and health.

  The poverty and the wealth.

  I will always love you no matter what comes next, to death do us part.”

  The reverend clenched a tissue and declared them man and wife. Their lips met before the official could say “you may now kiss the bride”, so he improvised. “Seems like they already know what comes next.”

  The guests laughed merrily.

  The reception was a large one, as they wanted to include those not invited to the ceremony feel included in the celebration. There were two hundred and fifty people in attendance for the late night gathering held lakeside.

  Some of the more daring guests after drinks and dancing jumped in the water, where they cavorted like children, not even thinking about the wet clothes they would be forced to wear home.

  Malik and Paris went to Javier’s for the rest of the summer. It was just enough time to have a decent honeymoon away. When they got back, Malik would be headed to campus and she would say goodbye to her eldest.

  When all was said and done, Juniper and Spencer disappeared to a tiny cabin in the mountains. It was rustic, but welcome as all they needed was each other. They arrived late the day after they wed. The log home had already been prepared for their appearance and Juniper was carried over the threshold to find that every step Spencer made was cushioned with blush rose petals.

  Heaven knows, this man was a not-so-closet-romantic.

  And I love it.
/>   “What am I going to do with you?” Juniper laughed.

  He looked down at her in his arms and smiled. “That’s the easy part. Love me.”

  Juniper had to admit, she was more than ready for that. How could she complain when her only duty was to spend her days and nights making love with her husband?

  Loving her husband.

  She may have been born at night, but definitely not last night.

  After Spencer divested Juniper of her travel garments, a simple jumpsuit and sandals, he laid his alongside hers. Despite the comfortable temperature outside, Spencer turned on the fireplace and had her to sit down beside the warmth of the flame on a thick pillow that seemed very similar to the ones he had on his roof.

  She waited as he returned with a bottle of chilled champagne in an ice bucket, a single flute, and a platter with chucks of cheese and sliced fruit.

  Although she appreciated the sentiment, she wasn’t hungry. Rather, she wasn’t hungry for food. It had been a month since she was able to enjoy the feel of his stiff flesh inside her.

  Since their marriage was based on honesty, Juniper said what was on her mind. “I need you.”

  Spencer smiled, a wicked curve of lips that in no way resembled the usual grin plastered to his face. “Stand up.”

  Her compliance was quickly rewarded when he took her seat and tugged her onto his lap. When she was halfway there, she was greeted by the thick, stiff, unclad erection that had plagued her dreams for numerous days and nights.

  The first inch purged a gasp from her throat, the second inch was punctuated by his groan and the subsequent distance was seamlessly tight enough to steal the breath from her chest altogether. When the hair at the bases of their groins met, Juniper felt the familiar spark of energy rise to complete them. Make them one flesh.

  Spencer wrapped his arms around her and Juniper followed suit.

  She had no idea how long they remained still and silent, foreheads touching, eyes open, perfectly paced breaths the sole measure of time, but she knew one thing.

  Juniper was unable to distinguish herself as a separate entity. They were so close, spiritually intimate, that even her heartbeats were his. His every emotion was hers and all of them radiated the same frequency, that of love.

 

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