Epistle of the Damned

by M. Lee Mendelson

  “Yeah bro, that’s our bye week. I’m so stoked how that worked out. Of course, I’ll be there for ya, man! Is Nancy coming down?”

  “Yeah, I believe so. She still hasn’t given me a definite answer yet.”

  “How is she doing, man?”

  “I’m not sure. She doesn’t talk much. I hope things might turn around for us when she comes down.”

  “Has she been seeing anyone yet?”

  “I don’t think so, but I can’t say for sure. She really misses my dad.”

  Frank playfully said, “Do you think she needs a little Moose meat? Maybe I can snap that beautiful lady out of it!”

  Mike laughed, “Shut up, you asshole. That’s my mom.”

  Frank laughed, “Just fuckin with ya, brother. You know I love Nance.”

  “I know, buddy. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it. It’s been almost two years since my dad was killed. Knowing you’re here means a lot to both of us.”

  “No sweat, you know I love you guys. See you in a couple weeks.”

  Nancy arrived the day before the ceremony. Mike had insisted that she stay at his apartment, but she insisted on staying in a hotel near the beach and he didn’t want to push it. She still seemed fragile. Frank, on the other hand, insisted that he stay at Mike’s. How could Mike say no? Mike picked up Frank at the airport, and instantly it felt like old times.

  Mike, Frank and Nancy went out to dinner that night at a pricey restaurant called Taureau’s. Frank insisted on paying for everything and Mike obliged him because he had learned long ago not argue with Frank. It was pointless.

  Frank asked Nancy, “How are you, sweetheart?”

  “I’m good, Frankie.”

  Frank looked at Mike in disbelief and shrugged.

  Frank, playing on her ego said, “Well, you still look as beautiful as ever!”

  Nancy perked up and smiled, “Thank you, Frank.”

  Mike jumped in and lightheartedly said, “Hey man, are you putting the moves on my mom? You want me to whip on you like that day in the locker room?”

  Frank bellowed a raucous laugh, and then said, “Oh yeah, you mean the day of the infamous mosquito sting I got on my nose? No, no, please don’t hurt me!”

  Thanks to Frank’s antics and lighthearted nature, the three were reminiscing and having a good time. After a few glasses of wine and Frank’s witty humor, Nancy began loosening up and was laughing. It had been a long time; in fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had as much fun. It pleased Mike to see his mom smile again.

  After dinner, Mike and Frank dropped Nancy off at her hotel.

  “Love you Nance. Sleep well, gorgeous lady,” Frank said.

  Nancy blushed. “You are quite the charmer, Frankie,” as she hugged him good night.

  As Mike hugged Nancy, she said, “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant, sweetheart. This is the first time I’ve actually laughed since your father died. You know your father would have been very proud of you. I hope you know I am, too.”

  As she pulled back, he could see that she had tears in her eyes.

  “I love you, Nancy.”

  She hugged him again, this time a little tighter, and implored him, “Please call me Mom. I love it when you call me Mom.”

  Mike hugged her tightly and said, “I love you, Mom!”

  Nancy then piped up, “Okay, you two, get going. We have a big day tomorrow.”

  “Okay, Mom. We’ll pick you up 10 a.m.”

  “10 a.m., got it.”

  Mike and Frank left her and returned to his apartment.

  “I don’t know how to thank you, Frankie. You are the man. Thank you for getting her to laugh tonight.”

  Frank bashfully said, “You never have to thank me for anything. I told you before, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you guys.”

  The two stayed up reminiscing for a few more hours, then went to bed sometime shortly after midnight.

  3:00 a.m. Frank was asleep in the spare bedroom on the other side of the apartment when Mike was startled awake.

  “What the hell was that?” Mike awoke to what he thought sounded like the snort of a bull. He listened intently in the darkness. All Mike could hear was the sound of Frank snoring from across the apartment. Assuming it must have been Frank that he’d heard, Mike

  looked at the clock. 3:01. “Shit, I need to get some sleep.”

  As Mike was slowly drifting back to sleep, he was again startled by the same disturbing sound, and sprung up, now wide awake and with all his senses keenly focused on his surroundings. His heart was racing so hard and fast that he could hear his own heartbeat.

  A grunt? That’s not Frank. It’s in the room! Petrified, Mike rapidly scanned the dark room that was illuminated only by the glow of his digital alarm clock. All of his senses were on high alert, including his sense of smell. That smell, what the hell is that smell? Mike thought. Instantly, he imagined he was back at his uncle’s cattle farm. Cow crap. Putrid, smelly cows! He was examining the obscurity that surrounded him when he became fixated on a menacing silhouette standing in the doorway. Then he heard the ear-piercing roar of a bull, “MRRAAAWWW!”

  “WAAAAAHHHHH!” Mike screamed as he fell out of bed.

  Frank came running into his room and turned on the light. “What happened, Mikey? Are you okay, buddy?”

  Mike, lying on the floor with a horrified expression on his face, was sweating and trembling. Frank walked over and said, “Bro, are you okay?”

  With a disconnected gaze, Mike looked up at Frank looming over him, then screamed again.

  “Whoa, whoa, Mikey. It’s me . . . it’s Frank.”

  “Frank? Oh my God!”

  “What happened, chum?”

  “I . . . I saw it again. It was right there!” Mike was pointing to his doorway. “It roared that terrifying roar! You didn’t hear it?”

  Frank snapped, “Hear what?”

  “That roar, that dreadful roar. It sounded like an angry bull!”

  “Bro, all I heard was you screaming, and I came running in here to find you lying on the floor. Look around, buddy. There’s nothing in here.” In an effort to make Mike smile, he said, “I know I’m ugly, but damn, man.”

  Mike was beginning to calm down. He looked up at Frank, smiled and said, “You are one ugly son of bitch.”

  Frank laughed and said, “I think you must have been having a nightmare.”

  “I guess so, but it seemed so real. Help me up, you bastard.” Mike reached out to Frank the same way he used to when he was on his back in football, and like old times, Frank was there to pick him up.

  The two best friends stayed awake for the next hour, talking on the couch. Mike told Frank about the incident at the motel earlier in the year, and the disturbing image he had seen in the window.

  Frank reassured him, “So there you go, buddy. A nightmare. You just relived that night again. Shit man, after hearing that, I’d have nightmares too.”

  The two went back to bed.

  8:30 a.m. The alarm went off and Mike stumbled to wake up Frank.

  Mike called Nancy. “Are you up, Mom?”

  Nancy, yawning, responded, “I am now.”

  “How’d you sleep?”

  Nancy replied, “Not so well. At around 3:00 a.m., I woke up, and kept waking up every hour after that. But that’s not unusual. I often don’t sleep well since your father passed.”

  “I’m sorry. I had a rough night too. I had a nightmare. But anyway, can you be ready in forty-five minutes?”

  “I’ll be ready, hon. What time will you be here?”

  “We’ll be there at 9:15.”

  “I’ll be ready by 9:10.”

  9:30 a.m. Mike knocked on Nancy’s hotel room door again.

  “C’mon mom, we’re going to be late!”

  “I’ll be right out. Give me just one more minute!” Five minutes later, Nancy finally emerged.

  Frank catcalled her and said, “Well, it was certainly worth the wait!”

  Mike
teased her. “Good thing we’re just around the corner from the academy or we’d never make it.”

  Nancy playfully stuck her tongue out at Mike, then said, “Thank you,

  Frank. At least someone appreciates the work I put into looking good.”

  Frank laughed and said to Mike, “Yeah, you jerk!”

  At the ceremony, the three sat together in the front row. Nancy wore a slinky black dress that came to her knees with a slit up the right side that accentuated her still toned legs. Many people asked with sincerity if she was Mike’s sister. Nancy relished all the accolades and perked up. She had not been social in quite some time, not since Big Mike’s passing, and had forgotten how much she appreciated the attention of others. Frank was a hit, also. Many people recognized him as the superstar pro football center. Mike sat nervously as he went over his speech.

  When he was finally called forward, Mike was presented with a plaque and several other awards.

  Lieutenant Albertson announced, “And now a word from Deputy Carson.”

  Nancy beamed at her handsome son, a truly proud mother. Mike stood tall in his green, perfectly pressed uniform with crisp creases. His badge and brass items all glimmered in the light, and the black leather accessories were polished to a high gloss. Nancy held her head up with pride as she watched her son deliver his heartfelt speech.

  “Thank you, Commandant. Fellow graduates, guests and loved ones, welcome to the graduating Class 66-6 of the Dolphin County Law Enforcement Academy. We started four months ago thirty strong, and we stand here today a stronger twenty-three. We regret the loss of seven comrades, but let us not forget, this is a higher calling, and not everyone is called. Ours is a noble profession. Let us take pride when we don our uniforms and go out to defend the helpless, and even, when called upon to do so, help the unworthy.

  “Look around you. Take pride that you have received that calling and that you had the courage to answer that call. Always be accountable to yourself first, then your fellow officers, and last but not least, the public we protect. Serve with honor. Never soil the integrity of this honored profession. Train hard, be vigilant, and always remain compassionate.

  “Thank you to the instructors for sharing their knowledge and experiences, and affording us a solid foundation for the challenges ahead. And finally, thank you to all the families and loved ones who supported their recruits and encouraged them over the past sixteen weeks. Take pride and continue to lift up and encourage your warrior, knowing that no matter how courageous their facade, at the end of the day they are only human, and as such, flourish with the support of those they hold dearest.

  “To recruit Class 66-5, thank you for laying down the gauntlet and setting a high standard for our class to strive for. I pray we have made you proud. To recruit class 66-7, my hope is that we have left a legacy worthy of your admiration as the class before us did. Good luck to us all, and always watch your six.”

  The crowd applauded as Mike returned to his seat between Nancy and Frank.

  “Nice speech, bro. You almost convinced me to become a cop,” Frank whispered.

  “They don’t make a uniform big enough for you, Moose,” Mike quietly retorted.

  Frank chuckled to himself and said, “True dat.”

  After the ceremony, many people came up to Frank, wanting his autograph. Frank politely indulged them all until there was no one left clamoring for him. Mike sat back and watched his best friend revel in the attention, and rather than being jealous, was proud of him. Frank had come so far from being the school bully. He was now just a big teddy bear. But Frank still remained the fun and obnoxious oaf Mike had grown to love like a brother.

  On Sunday, the three sat around watching football, hooting and hollering like old times. Frank spent half the time on the balcony looking out at the girls by the pool.

  “Not quite as satisfying as our old apartment in Jacksonville my friend, but your pool still has quite a few good-looking ladies. Nice view!” Frank then howled out from the balcony at the unsuspecting girls in the pool. Several of them waved at the unfamiliar colossal character on the balcony.

  Mike and Nancy sat and laughed at his childish antics.

  “Just like old times, is it?” Nancy asked.

  “He hasn’t changed a bit, thank goodness.”

  Nancy smiled, “Yeah, there’s something special about that big lug. He’s a good friend to you. I’m glad you have him.”

  “I think I’d be lost without him, Mom.”

  “Well, we’ve all been through a lot the past couple of years, sweetheart.” With moist eyes and a quivering voice, she remarked, “I miss your father so much.”

  Mike looked despondently into his mother’s eyes as he held her hand. “Me too, Mom. Me too.”

  Monday morning, Frank and Nancy were getting ready to leave.

  Nancy’s flight left first, and Mike was hugging his mother goodbye. She whispered, “Please take care of yourself, Mikey. I’ll worry about you every day. Please be safe. I can’t lose you too, son.”

  “I’ll be careful, Mom. I love you. Call me when you get home.”

  After seeing Nancy off safely, Mike and Frank had two hours before Frank’s flight. They went to the lounge and had a few drinks.

  “Well Mikey, I’m proud of you, bro.”

  “Why would you be proud of me? I’m just a cop, not a big football star like you, buddy.”

  “Don’t ever let me hear you say that!” Frank barked. “You’re my best bud, and you are so much more than just a cop. Just be safe, and promise me you’ll get through law school one day.”

  “I promise you, brother.”

  “Are you sure you won’t let me help you out with finances?”

  “No Frankie, I need to do this on my own. But thank you.”

  “Well, you’re doing it, my friend. I’ll call you later. I gotta get on board soon.”

  A quick best friend hug, and Mike watched Frank meander through the security checkpoint. He laughed as Frank scarcely fit through the metal detector. He continued to watch until Frank vanished into the crowd, which took quite a while since he stood so tall above everyone else.

  When he did finally lose sight of Frank, Mike turned to walk back to his car. He felt a heaviness in his heart watching his mom and best friend fly away. He was alone again.

  Mike decided to spend the rest of the day getting to know his new hometown. He took mental note of the quiet community, and where the places were that people would congregate. He noted that there was an alarmingly large number of pubs and bars for such a small community. They must be a very sociable lot around here, Mike thought. Besides the number of bars, he noted that there was an unusually small number of churches. I guess they like to drink without guilt, Mike mused. Despite all that, the town still had a nice charm and very low crime rate, according to everyone he had spoken to.

  Mike drove to the sheriff’s station on the edge of town and introduced himself to several of the deputies who were present. Mike asked Deputy Hank Stubbard if he could recommend where a good place in town would be to get dinner.

  Hank asked, “You like a good greasy spoon or something a little better?”

  “It’s just me, so something quick but good.”

  “All the single guys usually end up at Diablo’s Pub after work.

  You can get a few drinks, and the food is pretty decent.”

  “That sounds good, thanks. Hank, was it?” “Yeah, and you’re Mike, right?” The two shook hands.

  “I’ll be going there after I go home and clean up.”

  “Sounds good, Hank. Maybe I’ll see you there.”

  “Oh, I’ll be there. Several of us will be. Come on out and join us.”

  When Mike arrived at the pub that evening, he met up with Hank, who introduced him to several of the other deputies and they all got along well.

  Hank asked, “So, you’re the new guy everyone’s talking about. When do you start?”

  “I start Wednesday.”

  “Don
’t be late. Sergeant Constantine hates it when you’re late. You don’t want to cross him. He’s tough but fair. I worked for him my first year and I loved it. Just stay on his good side.”

  “I can handle that. How long you been on the department?”

  Hank replied, “Four years as of last week. It’s a good agency. I think you’ll be happy.”

  The two chitchatted for several hours, then Hank said, “I gotta get going, Mike. I’m on duty in the morning. Take care of yourself.”

  4:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. Mike woke up to get ready for his first day. He got out of the shower and the bathroom was very steamy. As he was shaving in front of the steamed-up mirror, he felt the sensation of warm breath on his neck from behind him. He spun around, but nothing was there. When he jerked around to look behind him, he sliced his face with the razor.

  Now he was distracted by the deep gash on his right cheek. Mike refocused, “Oh great, now I’ll show up with red toilet paper stuck to my face. Holy cow, I really got myself good.”

  It took several minutes for Mike to stop the bleeding. “I really sliced the crap out of myself.” He looked and saw it was now 5:30. “Oh shit, I gotta get going.” He looked down. There was blood all over the vanity top, and bloody tissues in the sink. “I’ll clean this up later. I’m going to be late.”

  Mike hurriedly dressed and ran out the door to get to work. At 5:47, he pulled into the parking lot of the station. Everyone else was already there. Damn. This isn’t going to look good, he thought.

  At 5:55, Mike walked into the roll call. Standing in the front of the room behind a podium was Sergeant Constantine. On top of the podium was a stack of paperwork for him to review with the squad. He was an average height man at about five feet nine, with a gray flat top. He had deep stress lines on his face, probably from so many years on the street, and a scowl that looked permanent. While still looking down, he peered over the top of his dime store readers and saw Mike entering the squad room. “You’re late, new guy!”

  In unison, ten other deputies exclaimed, “F-N-G!” Most laughed as Mike stumbled in and looked around for a seat.

  Over the next several minutes, Sergeant Constantine berated Mike for being “almost” late. “Okay rookie, here’s the deal. I don’t know how you do it where you come from, but around here on my squad if you’re on time, you’re late. I expect your ass warming that seat no later than ten minutes before the shift starts. Got it?”