Epistle of the Damned

by M. Lee Mendelson

  Mike arrived for the deposition a half hour early, hoping he might see Meredith and get a chance to talk to her. Mike’s appointment was for 1:45 p.m. When he arrived at the District Attorney’s Office, the receptionist advised him that they were running about twenty minutes behind schedule. This gave Mike time to review his notes. He was oblivious to all the ladies who had suddenly congregated around the receptionist, ogling him.

  At 2:10 he heard, “Detective Carson?”

  Mike looked up and there she was, Meredith Porter, looking prettier than the first time they had met.

  “I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Detective. We’re running way behind schedule. This is a big case, a lot of people to interview.”

  “No worries, I’ve been going over my notes, not that I need them. I’ve been reliving that nightmare nearly every night since.”

  “Oh, my goodness, I can’t even imagine. Just reading your report has been difficult. And the pictures are beyond words. I am so sorry for everyone that was there. This must be hard on you.”

  They entered a windowless room. In the room was a team of defense attorneys for Kearcy, three in all; a stenographer and two Assistant D.A.’s, including Meredith.

  After being sworn in, Mike was asked a series of questions about his involvement in the case. He would occasionally make eye contact with Meredith, and he could feel that same weird connection with her. Her voice was calming and reassuring, and he felt easy answering her questions. When questioned by the defense attorneys, Mike was purposefully evasive in his responses. He was not willing to give them any more ammunition to use against him in a trial situation.

  Meredith spoke, “Okay, Detective Carson. I’m going to ask you to recount the events at the camp. Please review what you did and what you saw when you arrived.”

  Mike grew cold as he began to recount the images of the altar and the blood, knowing now it was Amanda’s blood mixed with that of the bull. He became uneasy and his voice started to crack. It was clear that he was becoming agitated. Then he recounted finding the fire pit where the bonfire had taken place.

  “And then I looked down and saw the remnants of the pajamas at the edge of the fire pit. White cloth with pink teddy bears, soaked in blood . . . ” Mike’s voice was starting to break. His eyes welled up with tears. “ . . . And then the bones . . . the bones . . . the burnt bones of that little baby . . . ”

  Mike suddenly went silent, as if he had fallen into a trance. Images of the hellish scene, and then the interview with Kearcy were racing through his mind.

  Meredith called out, “Detective? Detective Carson? Are you okay?”

  Mike felt uncomfortable breaking down before this beautiful woman, with tears rolling down his chiseled jaw line. Since that first summer of his transformation, he had grown uneasy with showing his emotions, choosing rather a tough guy facade. I feel so stupid, he thought to himself. Meredith, however, appeared moved by the sincerity of his emotions.

  Mike was frozen, paralyzed with a look of fear. He could see Kearcy’s eyes, black as coal, and heard the sea of voices crying out, “Michael . . . your time is closer than you think!”

  “Detective? Detective Carson?” Meredith touched his arm and Mike recoiled with a jerk.

  “Huh?”

  “Detective Carson? Would you like to take a break?”

  “Um, ye—yes, please.”

  “Let’s take five minutes.” Everyone in the room agreed.

  Mike stepped out of the room, and Meredith followed him. “Are you okay, Detective Carson?”

  Mike answered, “Yeah, I just need to collect my thoughts. I’m sorry for losing it in there. I’m usually not like this.”

  “Don’t be sorry, I think it’s attractive. Oh my God, I can’t believe I just said that. I’m so sorry, that was very unprofessional of me.”

  Mike looked into her eyes. Now he knew there was a connection. Meredith made him feel things he hadn’t felt since his time with Sheila. He never thought he could feel that way again about anyone, but there he was. He was almost giddy, a nice change from the terror he had just relived moments before. Her perfume was light, refreshing, and calming to him.

  He smiled and said, “I’m not sorry. I just need a few minutes.”

  Meredith said, “No, please, take your time. I’ll leave you alone.”

  As she got up to leave, Mike mustered the nerve to say, “You don’t have to.”

  Blushing, Meredith looked back at him and smiled, just like that day from the elevator. She returned and sat in the chair next to him.

  “Just let me know when you’re ready to continue, and I’ll let them know.”

  After a few minutes of small talk, Mike was calm enough to go back and continue.

  “Okay, I’ll let them know. Stay here and I’ll come back for you in a minute.”

  Mike felt butterflies in his stomach as he watched her walk away.

  When they returned to the meeting room, he composed himself and managed to get through the rest of the deposition, though he had to stop and collect himself on more than one occasion as he relived the nightmare.

  At the end of the deposition, Meredith walked Mike out of the office. The deposition had taken several hours, and all the other ladies in the office were gone for the day, disappointed they didn’t get one more opportunity to see Mike in his form-fitted shirt and snug slacks.

  Meredith said, “I don’t normally do this, mind you, but I’m going to write my personal cell phone number on the back of my business card. This is a big case. If you can think of anything that might help me, call me. Anytime, day or night.”

  Mike simpered, “What if I called just to talk? I might need a counselor after today.”

  Coyly, Meredith whispered, “If you need some counseling Detective Carson, the number is on the back of the card.”

  Mike asked, “Day or night, huh?”

  Meredith smiled and winked, and then walked away. Again, as she had in the courthouse, she looked back at Mike, who was watching her walk away.

  It was after six o’clock, and Mike knew Robert had gone home for the day. Mike called him on the phone.

  “You owe me ten bucks, dude!”

  “No way, you sly son of a bitch.”

  “It’s not like that man, there’s something about her. She seems really special.”

  “Well, we’ll catch up tomorrow, bud. I’m getting ready to sit down for dinner.”

  The next morning at the station, Robert walked in and asked, “Well?”

  “Well what?”

  “Did you call her yet?”

  “No way, man. I don’t want to come across as desperate.”

  “But you are, brother. Those blue balls of yours must be ready to burst by now. You haven’t been on a date in months.”

  “Funny, very funny!”

  “Look, she sure didn’t give me the time of day when I went for my depo earlier in the day.”

  “Well, it could be because of that shiny gold band around your finger there.”

  “You mean the ol’ hand anchor here?”

  Mike laughed, “Helen’s a good woman. I don’t know how you ended up with her or why she puts up with you.”

  Smiling, Robert agreed. “That she is buddy, that she is,” and the two went to roll call.

  Late that night, Mike had fallen asleep in front of the television. The lights were on and the TV was blaring when he fell into a deep sleep.

  In his dream, he heard the sounds of cattle. Suddenly he was standing on his uncle’s cattle farm when he heard, “Michael, your time is near. All will be revealed.” Terrified, he found himself now running through the woods. It seemed that he had been running forever, then abruptly he was standing in front of an old, broken down cabin. He thought, Where the hell am I? There was no one around the cabin. It was foggy and dark. Then through the deafening silence, the terrified shriek of a little girl crying, “MOMMY? MOMMY? DADDY, IM SCARED! WHERE ARE YOU, MOMMY!? DADDY,

  DON’T LET HIM HUR- NO! NO! NOOOO!!
! M-O-MMM-E-E-EEEE!!!” In a blink, he was then standing in a field surrounded by hundreds of grunting, snarling bulls, all with their throats cut. Then he screamed, “AMANDA-A-A-A!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!”

  Mike screamed aloud as he woke up. He was saturated with sweat and had somehow ended up on the floor. Trembling, he began whimpering, “I’m so sorry, Amanda. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you, baby! God, why did you let this happen?”

  After several minutes, he was able to regain his composure. His thoughts switched from Amanda to Meredith.

  Still traumatized by the dream, Mike determined that he could really use the sound of a friendly voice. For as long as he could recall, Frank was always the first person that he would call when he needed someone to confide in when his soul was vexed. But this time, he could think of no other voice than Meredith’s.

  Mike retrieved her business card from his wallet. He flipped the card over, and the handwritten number stared back at him. “She did say anytime, day or night.” He looked up at the clock. “9:07. It’s not too late.”

  After a few more minutes, he got up the nerve and placed the call.

  “Hello?” The friendly voice he longed for said on the other end.

  “Hello, Meredith?”

  “This is she.”

  “It’s Mike.”

  “I know, Detective. I recognized your baritone voice. Is this business or pleasure?”

  Mike hesitantly answered, “Well, pleasure is much more fun than business, and business was the last thing on my mind.”

  “I couldn’t agree more. I was hoping that was the case. I was beginning to think you didn’t take the hint the other day and was getting worried I wasn’t going to hear from you.”

  “To be honest with you, counselor, I was afraid I had misread your intentions and I was a little nervous about calling.”

  “Oh, Detective Carson, you have no reason to be nervous with me. I don’t bite . . . hard.” Meredith giggled on the other end.

  This was going better than Mike had hoped. “Do you think you can call me Mike?” “I will if you quit calling me counselor.” Mike snickered and agreed.

  The two talked for the next two hours. Mike told her all about the nightmare that had prompted him to call.

  She reassured him by saying, “That’s terrible. You can always call me. I would love to be your comforting voice.”

  “You’ve done that already. I’m glad I got up the nerve to call you.”

  Meredith replied, “Me too. I did say if you needed any counseling I was here for you. Seriously though, if that’s what it took for you to call, I’m not sorry you had the bad dream.”

  “I’m not sorry either, at least not anymore.”

  “I’m glad you feel comfortable sharing your inner thoughts with me. I know a man of your caliber must not be very comfortable sharing his feelings with many people.”

  “That’s true. In fact, you’re only the second person in my life I have really opened up to.”

  “I’m honored.”

  “For some reason, I feel very comfortable talking to you.”

  They continued to talk for several hours. Mike explained that he was still in law school at FTU and was hoping to graduate in the next few years. He told her how his father had been murdered outside of his law firm. He shared his dream of following in his father’s footsteps and becoming an attorney.

  Meredith told him that she also had attended FTU. “Now I remember why you looked so familiar to me! You and I sort of met once in school.”

  Mike asked, “When did we ever meet? I would have remembered you for sure!”

  “We didn’t officially meet. You pulled this huge lummox off of my hood one night after a football game.”

  “Oh, my goodness, that was you? Are you kidding me? I remember that night. That lummox is actually my best friend, Frank. We call him ‘The Moose’. He and I grew up playing football together in high school, then college, up until I got injured the year before. He is still my best friend today.”

  “That’s your best friend, huh? What does that say about you, I wonder?”

  “I promise you he’s every bit as obnoxious as he seemed that night, but he’s really a giant teddy bear. He’s been the rock for both my mom and me since my dad was killed. He would do anything for a friend. Maybe one day you’ll meet him and get to know him for the real cool guy that he is.”

  “Hmmm, we’ll see about that.”

  Mike found himself thinking how he had never before been able to communicate so easily with any other woman. He felt that he could tell Meredith anything.

  He then found the courage to ask, “So maybe we can go out sometime?”

  “Why Detective, are you asking me out on a date?”

  “I believe that I am, Ms. Porter.”

  “Why, sir, this is so sudden . . . not! We’ve been talking for over what—two hours now. I’ve been dying for you to ask me out, you knucklehead! How many signals did I have to throw out?”

  Mike was surprised and relieved at her wit and sense of humor. He smiled and then said, “So, Friday night at Taureau’s? I’ll pick you up at seven?”

  “Oooh, Taureau’s. It’s a date. I can’t wait. I’m so glad you called.”

  “Thank you for answering your phone and quelling my nightmares.”

  “The pleasure was all mine. Call me again should those dreams haunt you anymore. Good night, Mike.”

  “Good night, Meredith.”

  It worked. The nightmares had subsided and Mike fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, the best sleep he’d had in a very long time. He woke up the next morning refreshed and in a joyful mood. He hadn’t smiled in weeks since Kearcy had injected himself into his life.

  When Mike got to work, he found a card on his desk. There was no name on it, just a blank envelope. Inside was a white card with the outline of lips from bright red lipstick and a note. “For the nightmares.” A heavenly scent wafted up from the card. It had been sprayed with the same sweet-smelling fragrance that Meredith wore.

  Mike’s face radiated in a way that his partner and friend had never seen.

  “What’s up? You get laid or something?” Rob asked.

  Then he saw the card and grabbed it out of Mike’s hand.

  “WHOA, what’s this, lover boy?”

  Smiling Mike said, “Give it back, you moron!”

  “Wait now, I’m a detective. Mmm, that scent. I recognize those lips. Could this be that sweet little ADA we were talking about the other day?”

  “Maybe. Oh, that reminds me—where’s my ten bucks?”

  “Haha, here you go my friend, you’ve earned it.” Rob pulled a ten-dollar bill out of his pocket and threw it down on Mike’s desk. “Truth is, I was here earlier when she came in and asked which desk was yours. I think she likes you, bud.”

  “She’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?”

  Robert looked at him and gave two thumbs up in approval. “I’m happy for you, Mike. It’s nice to see you smile. So, fill me in, give me the dirt.”

  “There’s no dirt. I’m taking her out on Friday.” He went on to explain how he got up the nerve to call her the night before and how they had seemed to hit it off.

  During roll call, Sergeant Smith asked, “Does anyone else have anything to add before we hit it?”

  Robert called out, “Yeah, I got something. I want to inform everyone that our own football legend here has fallen in love with the beautiful ADA, Ms. Porter. They have a date Friday night!”

  Every guy in the room moaned, “Oh yeah! Ms. Porter, she’s fine!” “Thanks a lot, you idiot. Why would you do that?” Mike asked. Robert laughed, “I love ya, man. It’s pure jealousy, that’s all.” Mike smiled and shrugged it off.

  Robert pulled a piece of paper with a number on it from his pocket. “Here you go, partner.”

  “What’s this?”

  “The number of my florist. I use them to send my sweet Helen flowers. Plus, they give us a cop discount.”

  “You must use them a lot.�
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  Rob laughed and said, “Yeah, I got ‘em on speed dial. I have to, I’m always in trouble! Seriously, take it from a happily married man. Send her some flowers, bro. You can’t go wrong.”

  Mike did make the call and asked the florist what color he should send. The florist explained that pink roses symbolized admiration and gratitude, and that red roses traditionally symbolized love. Mike believed that the red might be a little presumptuous for now and sent Meredith a dozen pink long-stemmed roses.

  Meredith received the flowers at her office. They caused quite a stir among the ladies. She smiled when she read the attached note. “Nightmares gone, thanks to you.”

  Meredith was heard unintentionally humming as she meandered her way through the office the rest of the day.

  The catty office hens gathered around the break room. “She’s got it bad!”

  Another lady said, “Can you blame her? Mmm, mmm, mmm!” They all cackled in unison.

  Friday afternoon, two hours before their date, Mike was getting ready. He received a phone call. Thinking it was Meredith, he eagerly answered, “Hello there!”

  The line was silent. “Hello? Hello-o-o-o?” He hung up. A few minutes later the phone rang again, “Hello?” Nothing.

  Curious, Mike thought to himself, I hope the line’s not having problems. What if she’s trying to call me? I’ll call her back in a few minutes.

  Mike went back into the bathroom. As he was brushing his teeth, the phone rang again and he thought, that must be her. Without thinking, he ran out to grab the phone. With a mouth full of toothpaste, he answered, “Hewo-o-o?”

  That familiar legion of voices cried out, “M-m-m-i-c-h-a-e-l-l-lllll, we are waiting!”

  Horrified, Mike dropped the phone and stepped back. He was instantly transported back to the interview room with Kearcy. “What the hell?”

  He snapped to and heard a heavenly voice calling out from the receiver on the floor. “Mike? Mike, are you okay?”

  His hands trembled as he picked up the phone and said, “H-He-

  Hello?”

  “Michael? Is everything okay? I heard the phone drop. You sound nervous.”

  “Huh? Oh. Oh, yeah—yeah. Sorry, my hands were wet.”

  “Are you sure? You sound unsettled.”