He missed the version of her that was dressed down, with no make-up, wearing paint splattered clothes. That was the her he wanted to spend time with. Not that he didn’t like her work wardrobe. It was nice.
Wrapped in neon pink spandex or ready for the office, he liked her no matter what she looked like. He just wanted to spend time with her. Talk to her. Go out and do things. Help her with her projects. Do nothing at all with her.
Most women in his life had defined roles. They fit neatly in a box, and that was it.
Brandi...was all or nothing. She wouldn’t be happy as just a friend. She’d want to be the very best friend. He didn’t think she’d be happy with a simple girlfriend label and just do date night once a week. She’d be in his life making it messy, reorganizing, redecorating, improving. And he knew that after only a few days.
He stopped in front of her. This close it was easier to see her and not just a dark shadow over her face. She wore little makeup, just some mascara to accent her eyes and some gloss today. She’d left the freckles alone, and he liked that. He liked her.
She regarded him with a look he couldn’t identify except to say that she did not look pleased.
“Did you have a good day today?” he asked.
Her shoulders dropped and she glanced away. “It was complicated.”
“Sorry to hear that. Can I carry that for you?” He nodded at the stack of binders clutched to her chest.
She screwed up her mouth and squinted at him. “But not bad complicated. Have you eaten?”
“No...”
“Figures. Here.” She took a step toward him.
He gathered the binders and took her tote. The last one made her eyes narrow, but she didn’t pull the bag back.
He hesitated only a moment before following her through the yard into the green room addition and then open concept living-dining-kitchen space. She put her purse and tote down on the kitchen bar then turned to face him.
Jayden bought himself a few moments by securing the green room door.
He turned to face her and found her studying him. She patted the bar and he obeyed the silent order, setting the binders down in a neat stack then placing her tote on the stool. That done, he propped one foot up, leaned an arm on the bar and met her gaze.
Nothing left to do except get to the heart of it. “I kept hoping to hear from you today. It just occurred to me that showing up probably wasn’t the right thing to do.”
She nodded once. “No, it really wasn’t. I was clear twice. I told you not to show up and I texted you so it was crystal clear.”
He blew out a breath and dropped his gaze to the carpet.
“You do this, you know?” She sighed. “You push. People say no, and you keep going until they give in. From the way you’ve talked about Asher, I’m guessing pushing is how you got him and your other brothers to do things. Now, as a manager, it’s your job to push. Jayden? I don’t want to be pushed around. Especially in my own home.”
He lifted his chin and blinked at her.
Did he really do that?
Brandi stared back at him, arms crossed over her chest.
He opened and closed his mouth.
Asher did drag his feet. As kids, he’d never helped out or done what he was supposed to without Jayden forcing him to do it. Though Asher was technically the older twin, it was Jayden who’d always filled the role of oldest. The leadership, and therefore making sure all tasks were done, fell to him.
When he didn’t say anything, Brandi kept going. “I wonder if Nicole had been here Sunday if you’d have bullied her into doing what you wanted?”
Jayden winced then and said the only thing he could think of. “I’m sorry.”
Brandi frowned and her eyes narrowed.
“I...wasn’t aware that’s what I was doing. I just thought...” His words failed him and he let his hands flop at his sides.
Was he really so much of a bully? Was that how she saw him?
Brandi blew out a breath and took a step toward him. “Okay, I’m probably being too tough on you because I’m irritated. You just show up and push your way into my life and mess up my selfish plans for the week.”
“I did.”
“What am I supposed to do with that, Jayden? I admit I didn’t expect you to show up on Monday. You proved me wrong and that you are willing to show up for the work. You aren’t as much of a jerk or as insensitive as I first thought, but you don’t respect boundaries. You push. And maybe I don’t want to be pushed into this thing between you and Nicole anymore.”
A lightbulb went on in his mind.
She still saw this as a triangle. She was the midpoint in his journey back to Nicole.
Only, he was fairly certain all roads leading to Nicole had ended Sunday. When he’d met a woman with fashion sense born in the eighties.
Jayden licked his lips. How did he begin? How did this go? Should he go there? Was he willing to forever lose this chance?
“What if Nicole isn’t in the picture any longer?” he asked slowly, feeling out each word.
Brandi didn’t freeze. More like, she continued to stand there perfectly still. Watching him.
“Why would you say that?” she finally asked. Whatever she was feeling, he couldn’t tell. Her face was serene, her voice steady. She gave him nothing.
Jayden knew the simple answer to her question, but it went deeper. “I signed up for the dating service six months ago. I’ve spent every day of that six months interviewing women to fit what I thought I wanted my partner to be like. When Nicole matched with me I thought, she’s The One.”
Brandi knew all of this. They’d talked about it, but they hadn’t covered where his head had gone the last few days. If he wanted to act on these new feelings, he had to take one more step. Then it was up to her.
His instincts said to push, to tell her and then claim more. Except that wasn’t what was going to happen.
Jayden licked his lips and steeled himself for the truth. “On paper, she is everything I thought I wanted. And then I met you and I realized I didn’t know what I wanted.”
Brandi’s eyes widened and she practically recoiled. “W-why would you say that?”
“It’s the truth.”
“But you’re here for Nicole.”
“No. I was here for myself. You were right, my motivations Sunday were selfish. Monday I came to prove you wrong. It was about me, not Nicole. Maybe it was never about her?” He shrugged. None of that mattered anyway. “I came back yesterday because I wanted to spend time with you.”
“You’re just giving up on Nicole then?”
“I’m admitting that we didn’t really know each other. I think I understand Nicole more now from having listened to you talk about her than I did in the weeks she and I talked directly.” He took a deep breath. Ultimately, he had no connection to that person. But he did with Brandi. “How can I have feelings for someone I didn’t really know?”
She took a step back and the serenity cracked.
“Brandi?” He wanted to reach out to her, but he couldn’t.
“No.” She shook her head. “No, you can’t do this.”
“I want to say I’m sorry, but I’m not. You are... You’re Brandi.” He smiled and shrugged again. “You’re special. Look, I’ve been a bull in a China shop here. I get that. I forced my way in here and look at what I’ve done. I’m not going to force the issue. If you don’t want to see or hear from me again, then you don’t have to. But, I hope you do. Because I’d like to spend more time with you, however that looks right now.”
Brandi’s eyes were closed now and she kept shaking her head, as if she didn’t want to hear him.
Was he making another blunder?
Yes.
He’d been delusional on Sunday. Now he had a better handle on his true feelings. It didn’t make this right. He had come here to win one woman and wound up falling for the other. Given how close Brandi and Nicole were though, it might not be enough. And if it wasn’t, he’d understand.
Even if his gut told him to go for what he wanted.
That drive was what got him through college. The Fulliloves helped all their boys, but with a house full of foster kids it wasn’t like they had a lot to share. Jayden had worked through all of it. His determination got him where he was today. But in a way, that drive was also selfish. He’d put his family on hold. He’d pursued a woman who fit his ideals without concern for who she was. His single minded drive could be a great thing, but not here. Not now.
Brandi kept starting at him with wide eyes.
Had he imagined the chemistry? The connection?
He didn’t think he had, but perhaps it wasn’t what she wanted. Just because he was on a mission to find someone to share his life with didn’t mean she was, too.
“You know how to contact me if you want to.” He smiled though he didn’t feel it.
In four days he’d learned more about himself through talking with Brandi than he had in probably ten years. She made him see things differently.
He turned toward the green room.
“Wait.” Brandi’s voice was strangled sounding.
Jayden glanced over his shoulder.
“You haven’t had dinner.” She clasped her hands in front of her, looking at him with open confusion on her face.
“No, I haven’t. Feeding me isn’t your responsibility.”
“Maybe not.” She lifted a hand to her hair and did something. The long length of her hair fell free down her back. “But if you go, who is going to celebrate my maybe promotion with me?”
“Maybe promotion?” He turned toward her, genuinely curious.
Her face scrunched up and she shrugged. “It’s complicated.”
What wasn’t lately?
“Yeah? Tell me about it?” He’d take any excuse to stay.
Brandi kept looking at him, and he knew she wasn’t thinking about work or the promotion or complicated whatevers. She, like him, was thinking about this moment. Them. She was as conflicted as he was.
Could he show her? Prove himself to her? Or was that more of him pushing what he wanted?
They stood like that, frozen in place and staring at each other, for several moments. He could see her confusion written in the creases around her mouth and eyes. She was weighing him against something else.
He wanted her to pick him. To be curious about where this could go.
No, she wasn’t who he’d seen himself with, but as she’d shown him what he wanted and needed were different things.
Bull in a china shop.
He couldn’t stop himself.
One moment he was practically through the green room door and the next he was looking down into Brandi’s upturned face. Her hazel eyes were open so wide.
She was irritating and infuriating. But she was also funny and opinionated. And loud. And so very addictive. He’d barely met her and he couldn’t get enough of her.
He lifted a hand and brushed a lock of hair over her shoulder.
It was so soft and smooth. He couldn’t help but run his fingers through it. She swayed toward him, at least he thought she did. His other arm came up and he placed his palm at her waist. Her hands came to rest on his chest, but she didn’t push him away. His skin felt electrified where she touched him.
Jayden looked down into her sparkling eyes and knew he wanted this. But did she?
He prayed she did and then bent his head.
The moment their lips touched he knew this was different. It wasn’t anything physical, it was just a certainty.
Brandi had already changed his life.
He leaned into the kiss. Her lips parted, either purposefully or in surprise. He curled his fingers in her hair breathing deep the lingering scent of citrus and chocolate. Her hands curled into fists, holding onto his shirt.
That was a good sign, wasn’t it?
He edged closer until her body pressed against his.
This might be all he ever got. He intended to be greedy.
Jayden slid his tongue over her lower lip then inside her mouth. He could taste the oranges and chocolate. She groaned and tugged on his shirt. He gathered her in closer, his every fiber focused on her mouth, the way she tasted and smelled.
He suckled her lower lip as the desire inside of him seemed to tighten.
Brandi leaned into him and he wrapped an arm around her waist. He let go of her hair and cupped the back of her head. He trailed kisses along her jaw to her temple.
It wasn’t just her mouth or body that drew him. It was her. Her sharp mind and defined sense of self. That was something that he identified with in her.
They were two people who knew themselves.
Now he wanted to know every inch of her.
Jayden pressed his forehead to hers. The tip of his nose bumped hers. She sucked down air, but her eyes were closed and her hands balled into tight fists. He stared at her, taking in the swollen, glossy lips and the lines around her eyes from squeezing them shut.
There was chemistry there. The spark was now a flame. But something was holding her back.
What? Him? The shift in directions? Girl code?
He stroked his hand up and down her back, but she didn’t open her eyes.
Nor did she push him away.
Jayden slid his fingers up through her hair. She had a wealth of thick, dark brown almost black hair. He curled his fingers around the strands and gently tugged. Brandi let her head drop back on a sigh, but her shoulders remained tense.
He bent his head and pressed a kiss to the place where her shoulder met her neck. Her body shivered and she pressed closer.
That wasn’t the body language of someone who didn’t want the kiss to continue. And yet, she was tense. Her body coiled so tightly he wouldn’t be surprised if she shoved him away in the next instant.
He wanted this kiss.
He wanted her.
But she had to want it, too.
Jayden drew in her scent and lifted his head. He pressed tiny kisses to her neck and cheek before straightening to look down at her. This might be the last moment he ever saw her. How did he win her over? How did he make her want to spend time with him?
BRANDI’S HEAD SWAM and her body pulsed. She clutched handfuls of Jayden’s shirt both to keep him close and so she didn’t slide to the floor. Though, honestly, how much closer could the guy be? They were plastered together from knee to shoulder, and she wanted him closer yet. Or more accurately, inside of her.
God, her knees were completely gone.
What the hell was happening to her?
She sucked down Jayden scented air. Spicy and musky, he was all around her. His hand pressed into her back while the other was tangled in her hair. She could feel his heartbeat against her fists, thundering along just like her own.
He pressed little kisses to her cheek and up to her temple, on the other side this time.
Holy shit.
All that from a kiss? Well, multiple kisses that blurred together.
Still, Jayden had kissed her.
And Brandi had let him.
She’d wanted him to do it.
And she hadn’t.
But deep down? She didn’t want it to stop.
Brandi forced herself to unclench her hands, splaying her palms against his chest. She couldn’t bring herself to put distance between them. So instead she simply felt the strength that he hid under polished layers of the socially acceptable man.
God, she wanted to mess him up. Just a little. Get some paint on him. Dirty him up a tiny bit. Yet somehow she knew that would only make him that much more dangerous to her.
She liked him dressed up, but when it was just them and he relaxed a little, that was the Jayden that was stealing little bits of her heart. The man who didn’t put on appearances and could be himself. She got the feeling he didn’t do that often.
And then that kiss.
Brandi had never been kissed like that. With a full body reaction that left her panting. Not from a first kiss at least.
His lip
s were so gentle, so soft. Such a contradiction to the man who seemed so unyielding.
She shivered and bent her head.
This couldn’t happen. It wasn’t supposed to.
She knew herself. She didn’t do well when it came to denying herself what she wanted. And right now she wanted him. Against all reason, there it was. He made her blood run hot and her libido wake up after a long sleep.
But he was Nicole’s.
Only, Nicole had moved on. And Jayden...
Could Brandi trust his words? Did she believe him when he said he didn’t really know Nicole?
Brandi had seen the evidence. He didn’t know anything about her friend. Nothing that mattered. And how could you fall for someone without knowing them? Without understanding what made them tick?
Four days and she felt as though she knew this man. Not well, but she knew what was important to him. And she wanted him.
“Brandi?” he whispered.
She took a step back, straightening her arms, and looked at him finally.
His half-lidded gaze was dark and lustful. The hand in her hair let go and went to her waist, holding her gently at a distance.
“This shouldn’t happen,” she whispered.
“Why not? Because of Nicole?”
“Because...”
A dozen reasons flew through her mind.
Relationships had always been fraught with problems for her. From her first love dumping her after getting kicked out to her last boyfriend cheating on her. It seemed like relationships were destined to fail, either because she’d picked the wrong person or she sabotaged them herself. They were a waste of her time right now when she had precious little to spare right now. She was looking for her father, juggling too much work at home, her side hustle and being a good roommate.
She liked Jayden. Spending time with him, talking to him, she didn’t want to give that up.
This kiss and anything else they did would change that.
“Because why?” he asked.
“Because this can’t end well.”
He wrapped his hand around her wrist. She briefly considered pulling away, but then he lifted her hand and kissed each knuckle all while watching her.
“Why does it have to end?” he asked softly.
The Wrong Perfect Match (Fullilove in the House Book 1) Page 9