Together they continued down the walk way, peering into booths, pausing to consider items before inevitably moving on.
She wasn’t in a buying mood today. It was simply nice to be around people. That was it.
Nicole pulled on Brandi’s arm. “Come on, one more row to go, then I’ll allow you to go home and mope.”
One more row.
She could do this.
Her fuzzy pajamas were waiting for her after one more row...
They turned the end of the row. The booths were a mix of extra-large and tiny. Most people selling furniture set up here, and the regulars all knew the value of their stuff, which was why Brandi rarely shopped for her own business here. Still, it was a good place to go to see what was selling.
The smaller booths were where the local artisans selling handmade jewelry or soaps or other small items tended to set up on a rotating basis she’d never understood. Every week it was a mystery who would be there.
Brandi turned her head, peering into the first small booth and frowned.
Was it empty? Seriously?
No, there was a box with, did that say kittens?
Inside, she groaned.
Please don’t let it be another litter of itty bitty babies...
Brandi pulled Nicole toward the box.
A gray head half the size of her fist popped up, then a second.
“Oh, my goodness.” She grinned as the not so little babies announced their displeasure at being cooped up.
“Uh, what’s that?” Nicole said far too loudly to be speaking to Brandi.
She bent and looked at the two kittens. They had to be eight or ten weeks old. They had the long legs and tails of young cats, so not someone trying to get rid of their backyard babies as fast as possible.
“Brandi?” Nicole nudged her.
“What?” Brandi straightened and sighed.
Maybe she needed a cat?
Nicole stared straight ahead.
Brandi peered farther into the small booth.
A brand new blue tarp had been laid on the concrete slab. Sitting atop the tarp was a familiar black lacquer and glass piece. All the bits to hang it on the wall were still taped to the mirror back of it, but her note was gone.
Fuck.
He’d gotten rid of it.
Brandi swallowed and took a step forward, then another. They were alone in the booth, so there was no one to see her squeeze out a tear.
A small tent sign sat on top that read: We accept After Pay.
What the heck was that? Another thing for her to research? Great.
“What do you think he sold it for?” Brandi flipped over the tag hanging off the stainless steel knob she’d found to match the hardware in Jayden’s kitchen.
Written on the paper were the words, Price: One Heart.
She dropped the tag and took a step back. Her chest ached. Hell, it felt as though her ribs were about to break open.
“What the hell is this?” Her voice was ragged, sounding exactly like she felt.
A figure stepped into the doorway at the back. The booths under the awning all had access to a narrow alley for storing things and a bit of privacy.
She glared at this figure, blinking and trying to clear her eyes. But it was hard through the tears.
Just what the hell was going on?
“Hey, Brandi,” a deep, rumbling man’s voice said.
A voice she missed.
“No.” She shook her head and took a step back, only to run into Nicole.
This could not be happening.
Not in public.
She did not want to have some sort of painful, awkward meeting. Not now. She wasn’t ready yet. Her armor wasn’t in place. She was too raw, and he’d see that.
His big hands grasped her shoulders.
She stared at his chest, refusing to look beyond his chin.
He wore that painfully familiar, worn black shirt with the paint splatters. It was his garage uniform. Or had been before he broke up with her.
The grip on her shoulders tightened and he leaned toward her. “I’m sorry, okay? I thought—shit. I thought you might get a kick out of me embarrassing myself.”
“Why would I do that?” She slashed her hand to her right, knocking his hand away from her. Her anger was just hot enough she felt the strength to lift her chin.
Jayden stared back at her with tormented eyes. He had a week’s worth of stubble. His hair looked...different. Not right. It wasn’t like him to be in public in clothes that weren’t perfect.
In short, he looked like a mess.
“Hi,” he whispered.
She clenched her jaw and said nothing.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and wiped his hands on his jeans.
“So, I, uh, saw you were looking at my piece back here.” He thumbed over his shoulder. “It’s a unique, one-of-a-kind, up-cycled piece. It might not be perfect. The glass is a little warped, but what is perfect in this world? We’re all a little imperfect. And sometimes we need help seeing that and how we’re wrong. Take me, for example. I’m a complete bull in the China shop. I also get anger blinders that make me into someone I don’t want to be when I’m angry. When that happens, I’m ugly. I’m hateful. And I say things that hurt the people closest to me.”
Brandi struggled to draw breath. It felt as though her throat and lungs were closing in. A sob escaped her and she clapped her hand over her mouth in an effort to keep her sorrow in.
“Don’t cry? Please, don’t cry?” Jayden’s face crumpled. “I don’t deserve to be forgiven, but you do deserve an apology. I don’t know to say it big or loud enough.”
She pressed her hand over her mouth as her thoughts jumbled and swirled together.
Jayden glanced behind him, then at her. “I, um. Asher and I are good. He told me the whole story. I should have listened to you when you asked. I know I was in the wrong. I just—”
“Shut up.” She needed a moment of quiet.
Jayden’s mouth snapped shut and he looked at her with all that pain and sorrow written into every line of his face and weighing down the bags under his eyes.
He looked like shit.
Hell, he looked like her.
She’d been in love with him. Was probably still in love with him to a degree. But he’d left. She’d tried to commit fully to their relationship and he’d left her.
“You left me just like everyone else,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper.
“I know, Brandi. Baby, I—”
She held up her hand. “Shut up and let me talk.”
He nodded.
Her anger flared a tiny bit hotter. “You did all of the talking last time.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“It feels like everyone in my life leaves, except Nicole.” Brandi swallowed in an effort to combat her parched mouth, then remembered—she had a drink. She sipped the sweet latte, finding comfort in the warm beverage. “What I’m learning right now is that some people come and go. They don’t leave permanently. You hurt me.”
“I know,” he muttered and if possible, his face crumpled even more. “I’m working on that. I didn’t realize... It doesn’t matter. I’m going to do better.”
“Are you? Really?”
“The most important thing to me has always been family. It’s all I’ve wanted my whole life. And this week I learned just how much I was hurting the people who mean the most to me because of it. I can’t be the man I want to be if I don’t change. I can’t be the kind of man you deserve if I don’t fix myself.”
Oh, God.
Brandi swallowed hard, but the lump wouldn’t budge.
“I’m not asking you to forget and forgive all of it. You took a chance on me when I wouldn’t stop pushing, and I betrayed that trust. If we can—I don’t know—be friends or something, that’s enough for now.”
Brandi leaned against him, burying her face against his chest. He’d seen her cry. What was once more? But she didn’t want to
spew her emotions in front of these strangers.
Jayden wrapped his arms around her. She felt a gentle press of his lips on the top of her head and squeezed her eyes shut.
She didn’t have it in her to trust him fully from this exact moment on, but if he was serious, if he really meant it, the rest would come.
“Anyone want a cookie?” Nicole said far too loudly.
Brandi cracked an eye open and peered sideways.
A line of now familiar men blocked entry to the booth, effectively cutting off any bystanders. Nicole had a white pastry box in hand.
Asher peered into the box. “I think those are Brandi’s apology cookies.”
“Oh.” Nicole whirled.
Brandi sputtered a laugh and bent her head, letting her hair become a curtain that blocked everyone else out. She inhaled, drawing Jayden’s scent into her lungs and savoring it.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered for her ears alone.
Asher spoke over them. “Why don’t you two head out and we’ll take care of these ferocious felines?”
Jayden rubbed circles on her shoulders. “What do you say?”
“I really want to get out of here,” she admitted.
“Mind if I drive?” he asked.
Or what he really meant was, will you leave with me?
Brandi didn’t have to think about the answer to either question. She snatched her keys out of her purse and tossed them at Nicole, only it was Asher who grabbed them out of the air.
“Not at all. Let’s go,” Brandi said.
She didn’t know what the destination would be today, tomorrow, next year or ten years from now. But today she wanted to be brave. She wanted to take the chance and follow her heart. Because some things didn’t end in disaster. And sometimes people came back into your life.
Like her sisters and her father.
The journey with Jayden wasn’t over yet.
JAYDEN WAS SWEATING bullets by the time they pulled into the parking garage at his condo. Brandi had eaten two cookies and finished off her drink, but she hadn’t said much. Not even about the cookies. He was desperate to hear her say something, but he wasn’t sure he’d like what she had to say.
She was such an incredibly strong woman. He wanted to be deserving of her love, and yet he feared his time had passed. If all he could do was smooth the jagged edges of their parting, he’d do it. Because she deserved none of the pain he’d heaped upon her.
“Where did the kittens come from?” Brandi asked.
“Hm? Oh, Diego. He’s a vet tech.”
“Oh.”
“He’s always ending up with some foster. Summer is especially busy because of kittens and puppies. At the start of today he had five. The last two are a bonded pair and need to go together, so they’ve been harder to place. Not everyone wants to take two rambunctious kittens.” He killed the engine and turned toward her. “You still want to come up?”
Brandi nodded and released the catch on her seat belt. “Yeah.”
Jayden snagged the box of cookies. It was a minor miracle none of his brothers had taken them. Then again, it could have been Asher threatening to break some heads if they even breathed on the cookies. Mom had promised to bake them some for the day’s efforts as a peace offering, so there was that at least.
Neither of them said much as they made their way up to his condo. He held the door for her and let her into his home first.
She looked around, studying the now bare wall where the cork had been for several moments.
“You know, before you I actually thought my place was nice. Comfortable.” He peered around, seeing it all through new eyes.
She turned to face him. “It is, in its own way.”
“It’s a mask.” He leaned against the bar and set the cookies down. “I want the picture perfect life. I want the appearance. But under it all, I’m a mess.”
Brandi closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his waist.
He closed his eyes and sighed as bits and pieces of himself began to feel again. Without her, he wasn’t as content with his life. He’d seen what better could be.
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
Brandi straightened and took his face in both her hands. “Stop. You can’t go forward if you’re always looking backward. And I just want to put that behind us. Okay?”
She said us.
“Okay.” He’d agree to any and all terms right now.
Her thumbs swiped back and forth while her eyes searched his face. He wished he’d taken the time to shave, maybe go to the barber, but he’d been in a funk all week. Normal tasks had been difficult or impossible.
Brandi lifted up on tip-toe.
He stared at her mouth, afraid to move or blink or breathe.
She pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss.
His eyes closed and he fought the urge to groan. Instead, he placed his hands on her hips and did his damnedest to commit everything to memory. The feel of her lips. The lingering sweetness of the cookies.
Jayden tilted his head and parted his lips. He shouldn’t. It was her kiss, but he was hungry for a tiny taste. Brandi pressed closer and their tongues tangled. He slid his arm around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer, and gave in.
He didn’t know what they were to each other anymore, but it didn’t change the fact that he loved her.
It was Brandi who broke the kiss. She dropped back to her feet, hands on his chest, looking at him as she caught her breath.
“I told myself this morning I’d be fine without you, and now here you are.” She smoothed his shirt over his chest as she spoke. “And the truth is, I’m not okay. I’m not okay with what happened, how we handled it or the idea of you not being around anymore. So, what are we going to do to fix it?”
He blew out a breath and for the first time in over a week felt a little hope. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. Whatever he had to do, he’d get it done.
They stood there for several moments, wrapped in each other’s arms. Eventually her phone vibrated and his rang. They parted long enough to check in with Asher and Nicole, respectively. Jayden made sure to tell Asher to not call again. It was only after Jayden hung up that it occurred to him that he might should have told Asher to behave himself if he was still keeping an eye on Nicole. If there was one person his twin shouldn’t be influencing, it was Nicole. But then again, she probably knew that.
“Let’s put these on silent.” He muted his phone and laid it on the kitchen counter.
Brandi did the same.
Jayden took her hand and led her to the sofa. She sat with her legs curled under her. It was odd, the things he missed. She curled up next to him, head on his shoulder, was oddly in his top three.
This time, they sat facing each other, holding hands.
“I meant it when I said I want you in my life.” He took a deep breath and mustered the nerve to say everything he’d rehearsed. “I didn’t realize how intolerant I was. How my family picks and chooses what they tell me because of how I react. I need to be more understanding and slower to anger.”
She squeezed his hand. “Taking a breath and listening is a good place to start.”
He lifted their joined hands and kissed her knuckles. “You’re absolutely right.”
“I guess I didn’t realize that side of you existed. You were always so calm and reasonable about everything else. I just assumed...” She lifted a shoulder. “That really hurt, Jayden.”
He winced. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“I think it hurts worse because I made the choice to get involved. Normally, I avoid a guy’s family at all costs. I also know that when I really like someone, I sabotage it. I pick fights. I find something to obsess over that isn’t a big deal. This time, I just kept telling myself not to. To really try, because you were putting yourself out there and I should do the same.”
Jayden ducked his head. Part of him wished the ground would just open up and swallow him.
God, he
was a piece of shit.
“Jayden, stop. I’m not telling you this so you feel bad, I’m trying to talk.”
“I know.” He straightened. “And I need to hear it. I want to hear it.”
“So what do we do now?” she asked.
“I need to earn your trust back. Even if you tell me right now, Jayden, you’re forgiven, that doesn’t mean the trust is repaired.”
She nodded slowly.
“What if we are just friends for a little bit?”
She arched one brow. “Just friends?”
“Do you have a better suggestion?” He prayed she did.
“Friends with benefits, at least. Let’s be very real here, we will never be,” she let go of him and made air quotes as she said, “just friends. I don’t think it’s possible. I won’t stick with it. Will you?”
Did he dare hope?
It wasn’t like he could hold back.
She was saying there was more than a little chance for them.
“I wouldn’t exactly stop you.” He propped his elbow on the back of the sofa and leaned toward her. “Okay. Tell me more about this plan.”
“We should take it from here, being friends who are more than friends, but not quite dating. See what happens. If we can grow together and not apart.”
Jayden couldn’t contain it anymore. He reached over and dragged her close enough for him to scoop her up and set her on his lap. She didn’t fight or protest one bit. Instead, she chuckled and wound her arms around his neck while he held on tight.
He buried his face in the crook of her neck. “I want to get where I can grow with you.”
“You already are. You just don’t realize it yet.”
Jayden closed his eyes and said a silent prayer of thanks for this amazing woman. She was a modern Amazon. She didn’t back down, not even when her heart was broken and her trust betrayed. She was quite simply the most remarkable person he’d ever met. And he was in love with her.
Brandi’s hand stroked his shoulder, then his cheek.
He lifted his head and found their faces were so very close.
“I missed you,” she whispered.
“I missed you, too.”
“Is this why Nicole’s been asking me how angry I was every day?”
The Wrong Perfect Match (Fullilove in the House Book 1) Page 29