Slipping her arms under his she stroked his back, but remained silent, fighting back yet another onslaught of tears.
“I figured you’d just outgrown me, that we’d drifted so far apart I didn’t appeal to you anymore. You were always working on some new technique or another and I just figured I was boring you. When the boys left it was just me most of the time at home alone. I’d hoped we could reconnect, but you were just gone that much more, no matter what I did to try and entice you home.” Katy remembered many a night when she’d come home to find a cold dinner on the table, flowers in a vase, candles with the wax still soft from burning.
“When I said I wanted a divorce, I hoped you wouldn’t want one too, but when you didn’t do anything other than help me divide things up between us, it was pretty clear you wanted out, so I let you have it.”
He paused, waiting for her to speak, but she couldn’t even if she whipped out her entire line of therapeutic skills. She’d been so wrong…
“I’ve always loved you, Katy, nothing will ever change that, but I didn’t know how to reach you and I wanted something more with you than just this going through the motions. I don’t mean cheap thrills. I just mean time… Now, if I could, I’d take it back.”
“I didn’t know, Garret. I just wasn’t paying attention. I’m so sorry. I should have tried to make you understand how much I loved you, but you seemed so determined to leave even when I suggested counseling.”
“When things in our lives should have been slowing down, it seemed for you they were picking up the pace. The last thing I wanted to do was donate to the very cause that was keeping me from you. Your beeper was always going off and you were always going to some seminar. I didn’t want you not to do the things you were doing, helping people, because you really love that, Katy, but I did want you to know I existed. There was no telling you how I felt because you had an answer for everything. I just began to think your career would always be more important and I let you have it. Sounds very self-centered when I say it out loud, doesn’t it?”
Katy shook her head against his chest. “No, Garret, most of it is true, except that I never gave you the chance to tell me you were pissed off because I was shipping you off to the nearest thinking spot.”
Garret chuckled and then grew serious again. “The only thing I could determine was that you were relieved to be done with me. You didn’t even show up in court the day of our divorce.”
And then it happened. D-day struck a chord like no other in Katy. Tears fell from her eyes in a salty torrent. “I couldn’t,” she sobbed. “How could I go and watch that happen? I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing you like that, not after twenty-one years of marriage. It was like -- like losing a liiiimb.” Her last word came out long and high-pitched.
Garret gathered her onto his lap and rocked her as she cried, gulping for air as her nose dripped and her eyes burned. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry for everything that’s happened. I hate it here. I hate this goddamned apartment and I hate living alone. I’ve missed you every single day and I began to think this was the way it always would be.”
“But so much has happened between us since we divorced. You have…” She let that hang in the air. There was still the eagle at ten o’clock to discuss.
“Ahh, you mean Margaret?”
So that was her name? Viper, bimbo, tramp… Yeah, that Margaret. “I guess so. If you love me and I love you, maybe Margaret has a problem.” A big one, she thought, and she didn’t give a shit either. Margaret was perky, she’d bounce back. Now that really was cruel and she didn’t need a textbook to show her that. Margaret didn’t do anything to deserve this. She wasn’t responsible for Katy’s screw-ups. “We committed a form of adultery tonight, Garret, as ridiculous as that sounds.”
“Yep, kinda.”
“Is that all you have to say? Garret, that’s mean and -- and --”
“A good sign we have low self-esteem?”
“That’s not even funny!” she yelped at him.
“But true, yes?”
Looking up at him she floundered. “Well -- well, yes, not to mention it just plain sucks.”
“Yep.”
Who was this man? This couldn’t be her Garret, behaving as if what they’d just done wouldn’t cause pain and heartache. “Garret! How could you care so little about this woman?”
“Oh, I care about her.”
After what they’d just shared he was going to marry her anyway, wasn’t he? The son-of-a-fucking-bitch! “You bastard.” She struggled to get away from him. “You used me, or let me use you, or whatever the hell we just did and you’re going to marry her anyway?”
Garret tightened his grip on her. “Sit still, woman, and shut up. I liked you better a minute ago. I am not going to marry Margaret. Not tomorrow, not ever. If you’d answered your phone I’d assume the boys would have told you, but they couldn’t find you. As a matter of fact, where the hell have you been? They were convinced you were off ‘getting some’,” he sneered, his blue eyes turning dark.
Katy began to laugh. If only he knew… “If that wasn’t so friggin’ stupid, I’d be angry with them.”
“So you weren’t getting some?”
Some? Please. Wait ‘til he found out what he’d get as a result of the some she’d gotten. “Never mind where I was. Talk to me about Margaret.”
Ick.
“Margaret and I broke up last week. She’s still in love with her ex too… I think we both sort of fell into this out of loneliness and it seemed like a good thing to do, get married, but we spent more time talking about our ex’s than we did to each other. Her ex called her last week and that was that. They’re getting remarried next week in Vegas.”
“But we -- I mean, I just saw her leave with a suitcase.”
“Spying on me, were you?”
“I was not!’ Then she hung her head in shame. “Okay, I was…”
“She just came by to pick up some of her things she left behind.”
“So you’re not getting married tomorrow?”
“Nah.”
Katy grabbed his ears and narrowed her eyes at him. “And you’re just telling me this now?”
“When should I have told you? You were kinda busy…” he said as he wiggled his eyebrows.
“You son-of-a-bitch!”
Garret kissed her hard, slipping his tongue into her mouth and making her forget she was pissed at him for stringing her along. “Boy, you’re into this swearing thing these days, huh?”
Katy giggled, pulling him down with her to the bed to lie on top of her. “You’ll know soon enough what I’m into, Mr. Jennings.”
Garret settled between her legs, his cock hard again. “So what does that mean?” he asked, smiling down at her.
Lifting her hips she wrapped her legs around his waist and let him slide between the lips of her pussy, already slick and wet again. “It means there are some things we’re going to explore and this time you’re my sexual guinea pig.”
Garret’s lips brushed hers. “Really? Oddly, I was just thinking it might be kind of fun to tie you up. I don’t know why, it’s not something I’ve ever thought of before. But I had this visual of you laying on the bed with scarves wrapped around your wrists. Sexy indeed.”
Katy giggled and shifted under him. “I’m game if you are…”
Garret groaned. “So no more therapy? I don’t want you to give that up. You’re good with people, baby. It’s what you love to do.”
“But I don’t love it as much as I love you, Garret. I have some other things I’d like to explore, out of the norm in therapy, I guess.”
“So where do we go from here, Katy?” His question was quiet, somber.
“Where do you want this to go? I mean we haven’t been around each other for a year and then I just throw myself at you. Sometimes it takes time to adjust. I’d understand if you want some time to think about this.”
Garret eyed her suspiciously. “That sounds like a counselor thing to say.”
Katy smiled at him. “Yeah, it is. Do you want me to tell you how I really feel?”
Garret slid into her, hard and hot. “Yep.”
Katy groaned into his mouth. “I really want to tell you to screw all this bullshit and come home. But first, I want to fuck again.”
Garret thrust again. “Boy, you’re a potty mouth, huh?” he said on a hiss as they moved together, their hips making slow circles. A dance familiar, yet new and exciting. “I want to come home too, babe. I’ve missed you… I love you…”
A muffled crackle, filled with static, ripped through the room, followed by a familiar chirp that made them both stop moving. “Hey, it’s been almost four hours, good buddy. We were getting worried. Did the eagle fly the coop? Ten-four.”
She’d left the walkie-talkie on. It was Maxie…
Katy began to laugh as Garret asked, “What the hell?”
“We have much to talk about, Mr. Jennings. Some of which is inside my purse right now.”
Garret began to move again, moaning when Katy matched his movement. “Can whatever’s in your purse wait ‘til later? Because I can’t…”
Wrapping her arms around the man she loved like no other, she lifted her breasts to press them against his chest and whispered, “Yeah, we can wait…”
And between their harsh breathing and kiss-muffled moans, Katy vaguely heard Maxie say, “Hey, what are you guys doing? Carajo! Come up for air.”
“Darling,” Vicky said, “ignore them. You just go right ahead and get all sweaty. I mean sweat is good for the skin, or so they say. I personally don’t advocate it, but whatever --”
“Give me that damn thing, Victoria! Katy, it’s Maddie, I’m going to assume a little bump and grind is occurring, so we’re going to ride off into the sunset now. Way to get your man, Katy… This is the ex-files signing off. Ten-four, good buddy…”
Epilogue
Katy stared at Victoria from behind her desk. Her friend was pale and tired, yet perfectly groomed. Her auburn hair fell just below her chin, a curtain of red, shiny and bouncy. Victoria was drumming her equally perfectly polished nails on the arm of the chair.
“Victoria? What is it? You know I can’t counsel you, honey. We’re friends…”
“I know that, darling, but certainly we can talk as friends, right?”
“You can always talk to me, Victoria, but you don’t have to make an appointment to do it.”
“I just wanted some exclusive time. So I could do this privately. You know, I thought after you and the ex hooked back up, you’d toss us all to the wind, but you didn’t…”
Katy smiled at her. “Of course I didn’t. You’re my friends. We’re the ex-files.”
Victoria looked down at her lap and fidgeted with her already perfect buttons. “Well, most of us aren’t so ex anymore. I’m still single. I mean, I’m divorced and so are all of you, but now you have men in your lives and Maxie is married, Cole and Maddie will be before long if Cole can talk her into it and you and Garret, well, you should have never been apart. I don’t…” Her voice trailed off, wistful and low.
Katy saw the problem before Victoria shared it. The idea now was to let Victoria share it herself. She no longer asked patients how their compulsions made them feel, she only asked how they could make them livable. She let Victoria and Maxie duke it out on occasion and she always asked Garret what he wanted, in and out of bed. “So you don’t have a man in your life, Vic. Big friggin’ deal.”
Victoria snorted. “I’m not sure whether I liked the thinking spot Katy better, or this new, freer one who swears and encourages me to argue with Maxie.”
Katy loved her life now. She and Garret were together again. She’d cut back on her patient load and now spent most of her evenings with Garret. They made love endlessly, experimenting in new things, played chess and watched movies. On the rare occasion, when schedules allowed, they had their boys over for dinner. The girls were all busy with their lives too, but they still met once a week to karaoke. Everyone was busy but for Victoria… Katy worried most about her. Victoria floundered, unwilling to let anyone into her life she couldn’t control totally. Victoria needed a man who’d take charge of her, and keep it.
Katy had also begun to dabble in various sexual therapies. She’d run across many cases that mirrored Victoria’s as of late. People just like Victoria who, for one reason or another, couldn’t let go enough of their control enough to enjoy a relationship.
Relationships required out-of-control emotions and Victoria wasn’t going to participate if it meant A: getting messy and B: feeling something she couldn’t control. However, Katy knew just the person to possibly help Victoria, if Victoria just asked. She no longer tried to fix what wasn’t broken, but she also didn’t try to fix what didn’t want to be fixed.
Katy tapped her pen against her desk, a desk free of clutter lately and loaded with love notes from Garret. “I am different now, Victoria. I’m so much happier not feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders for everyone’s problems. I’ve cut back on my patients and hired another therapist.”
Victoria’s voice was small when she spoke this time. “Could you maybe -- well, could you help just one more person with a problem?” She cast her eyes downward and folded her hands in her lap.
If Victoria would let her, Katy would hug her. “I will always help you, Victoria. Tell me what you want and I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Victoria shifted in her seat, visibly uncomfortable. “I want a man. Just like all of you. I want to get back into the game again. I’m sick and tired of hearing about all this boinking you all do. Day in day out, if one of you didn’t do it, then someone else in our group did it for you. It’s all you talk about. But -- but I have no one… and I’m sick and goddamned tired of having no one and I have a problem… it was one of the reasons Tom and I divorced… I, well -- I --” Victoria stumbled over her words and her face flushed red and she looked to Katy to help her fill in the blank, but Katy remained silent. “Isn’t here where you tell me acknowledging I have a problem is the first step to solving it?”
“Nope, sweetie. You just tell me what the problem is and I’ll see what I can do.”
Victoria struggled, licking her lips and fidgeting with her buttons on her blouse. When she finally spoke, her voice was broken. “I want to -- to -- fuuuck,” she nearly yelped, her eyes bright and wide. “I want to enjoy it. Tom said I was cold, but I just didn’t think it was anything special. I didn’t hate it exactly, I just didn’t love it. But you guys talk all the time about how wonderful it is and Maddie boinks Cole whenever he moves and Maxie is always smiling and I’m sick to death of being left out. Maybe I just wasn’t meant to enjoy it? Maybe I am cold and unfeeling? How can that be when I’m so jealous of you and Maddie and Max? No one stays involved with me because I drive them insane with my orderliness. I know I’m picky, I like order and cleanliness, but then, when we get down to the jiggy stuff, well… I just -- just -- don’t feel that jiggy.”
Victoria paused, looking to Katy for answers Katy couldn’t give her. “What’s wrong with me, Katy?”
Katy smiled at her sympathetically. “Well, I don’t think anything’s wrong necessarily, sweetie… you just have stuff that troubles you for whatever reason. I do have a thought though, if you’d like to hear it.”
Victoria nodded. “I’ll do anything…”
“Well, I have a friend who specializes in sexually challenging… well, difficulties with sexually connecting. Maybe she might help…”
* * *
And so, here she sat with all the other freaks just like her, in a room where you laid out your sexual hang-ups, with people who thought sex wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, or just cracking up. But Katy said this would help so she’d taken a few weeks off from her interior design job and come to the class for the sexually lame… er, challenged.
Whatever.
Katy said they did field trips and talked about fetishes. Sometimes it was just a matter of finding the rig
ht kind of sexual interest to pique one’s curiosity and libido, the nice sex lady said.
Victoria paid close attention in each class, sitting quietly in the back as the sex queen instructor talked about the various forms of sexual dysfunction, or maybe it should be called sexual differences… cuz it was different.
Well, so far she’d didn’t feel the need to lick anyone’s high heels or yiff with her stuffed animals, not that that was a bad thing, just not her thang.
“So, ladies and gentleman, tomorrow we have a field trip of sorts planned. Plenty of discoveries to be made. I hope you’ll all join us.”
Victoria leaned over to the guy next to her, the one who liked to wear diapers and drink formula or something when he did the nasty, which was fine with Victoria as long as he didn’t touch her, and asked, “Where are we going on this field trip?”
“Weren’t you paying attention? The bondage fair…”
Vicky the Vixen
So what is wrong with Victoria? Is she really a cold fish? Or does she just need the right guy to tickle her fancy? Come hang out with Vicky as she makes some sexual discoveries (surely you knew that would happen!) and quite possibly goes from misfit to Vixen in the last installment of The Ex-Files: Vicky The Vixen.
Dakota Cassidy
Dakota Cassidy found writing quite by accident and it’s been madness ever since. Who knew writing the grocery list would turn into this?
Dakota loves anything funny and nothing pleases her more than to hear she’s made someone laugh. She loves to write in many genres with a contemporary flair.
Dakota lives with her two handsome sons, two dogs and a cat. She’d love to hear from you. She always answers her e-mail! [email protected]
Ex-files: Kinky Katy Page 8