Loving you was my greatest sin.
Loving him was my greatest mistake. I gave him everything, every last inch of my mind, body, and soul. A part of me wants to beg and plead for him to stay, but I know deep down, there is no use. Waiting on him to see his worth, to see the way he’s changed my entire life, is useless.
He’s made up his mind.
So when I feel the bed dip and the familiar feel of his body molding around me, I almost don’t notice it until he twists my body around and hovers above me.
Those eyes, peering straight into my soul.
That smile.
His arms, protecting me from everything around us.
I lose it. I cover my face and let out a pent-up sob, emotion wracking my entire body.
“Shhh,” he coos into my ear softly. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here.”
Another sob, my body shaking and shuddering from the sound of his voice.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, rubbing his nose against the side of my face before he kisses my cheek, letting his lips capture each and every tear. “I’m so sorry.”
In between sobs, I say, “Please tell me you’re staying. I can’t take it if you leave me again. I’m not . . . I’m not strong enough, Stryder.”
“I’m here to stay, baby. I’m all yours.”
My breath hitches in my chest as I try to catch . . . as I try to understand what he’s saying. “All of you?”
He nods and presses his forehead against mine, cupping my cheek at the same time. “You get all of me, baby, every last piece of my heart, of my mind, and of my body. I’m yours for the taking if you’ll have me.”
I cry-laugh and bring his lips to mine where I press a light kiss across them. “I want you. I need you, Stryder, and I don’t want to ever lose you again.”
“You won’t. I promise,” he says, his husky voice hitting me hard, the promise so strong in his conviction.
“And Colby . . .” I hate to bring him up, but I have to know.
“All worked out, Rory. Nothing you need to worry about.”
“This is it? You and me?”
“Just you and me.” His hand goes to my hips where he pins me to the mattress and crawls over my body, his large frame eclipsing me. I welcome his warmth as I spread my legs, making room for him.
He groans as his lips smooth across mine, nipping.
“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy,” he adds, moving his lips down my neck. “It’s likely I’ll be re-stationed to another state at some point, but I promise you, if that happens, I’ll make it work. I’ll visit you as much as I can. And when it comes time to re-station, I’m putting in for Schriever or even the smaller base on the Academy with the hopes that I can stay here in the Springs. I’ve got four years left of service, but after that, we can do whatever the hell we want.”
“Four years with a possible re-station . . . are you sure you’ll still want me?”
He lifts his head and presses his palm against the mattress to prop himself up. “I’m not only going to want you, but I’m going to need you.” He reaches down into his pocket and pulls out a small velvet box.
My eyes widen. Is this real? Is he really going to ask me . . .
He takes a deep breath, nerves eclipsing over him.
“I love you more than anything, Rory. You were there at my worst, you saw the ugly man I could be, but you’ve also seen the good in me, the potential I have to be a better man. You’ve stuck by my side as a friend and as a partner in this crazy life. I can’t imagine walking another mile in this journey without you by my side.” He opens the box to a glittering solitaire diamond. “Make me the happiest and luckiest man and marry me.”
There is no doubt in my mind what I want as I throw my arms around his neck and bring him to my lips as I say “yes” over and over again.
Tears stream down my face as we clumsily place the ring on my finger, our lips smashing together, our clothes being peeled off at a rapid pace, unable to get close enough to each other quickly enough.
Hovering above me, naked and so damn beautiful, Stryder presses the tip of his cock against my entrance, biting down on his lower lip as he says, “I’ve missed you so fucking much, Rory.”
I move his hips so he’s forced to insert himself inside me. His length stretches me in all the right places as I spread my legs wider.
“I’ve missed you, Stryder, but now you’re mine, forever.”
“Forever,” he repeats, his hips rotating, the muscles of his chest flexing, the cords in his neck strained.
His mouth finds mine and as he moves in and out of me. I found my soul mate, the man who makes me a better human whenever he’s around. I’ve found my person, my match, my forever. I’m so incredibly lucky.
Right now, with Stryder inside me, loving me, making me his forever, I feel like a brand new person. No matter what comes our way, we will thrive together as we lean on each other.
The downside of love is heartache and uncertainty, but the upside of falling is finding an everlasting love that will carry you through a lifetime of happiness.
Life is full of chances. Opportunities. Challenges. But it’s what you do with them that counts. I took a chance on love . . . twice. Opened my heart. Allowed two men to share something I now know is special. Me.
In their love, and in different ways, I found myself. Grew in confidence. I’m more than a dancer, more than a sister, more than a friend. I let go of one love, knowing he needed to soar. My heart, my soul, knew who it ached for. Yearned for. Needed to love. So I’m glad I was willing to take my chances, because my prize is this man. This wonderful, inspiring man who I will love forever.
Epilogue
COLBY
“Dude, I think it’s time to call it a night,” Bent says, clapping me on the back.
Head bent forward, I bring my tumbler to my mouth and take another sip of my rum and Coke. “Nah, not ready.”
“It’s midnight.”
“I understand the time of the night . . . Mom,” I snap, taking another sip.
“Watch it,” Bent shoots back. “I have a squadron I’m responsible for. We may have the day off tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean you can waste it with a hangover. I need you in prime condition at all times, Flyer.”
“Life isn’t always about flying.” I down the rest of my drink only to have Bent spin me around and pin me against the bar, his face inches from mine.
“Life is about flying when you’re a goddamn fighter pilot for the United States Air Force. You have a responsibility to protect and to serve, to put service before everything else. So get your ass off this stool and to the car.”
He hits me hard with a stare, one that tells me if I don’t move he’s going to take his lecture a step further, a step I don’t want to witness.
Grumbling to myself, I lift off the stool and turn toward the bartender where I pull out my wallet to drop a couple of twenties on the bar top.
I stuff my wallet in my back pocket and turn toward the front door when something—or someone—catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. Tucked into a booth to the side is a very familiar face I haven’t seen in a long time. I know that face, but from where?
I watch, staring at the woman with fear in her eyes as the man in the booth next to her speaks aggressively to her.
What the hell is going on? And how do I know her . . .?
I start walking in her direction when Bent catches me on the shoulder. “What are you doing?”
“I know her,” I say, pointing to the beautiful woman in the booth, the one who’s slowly trying to back away from the man.
“Are you sure?” Bent asks.
“Pretty sure.”
The man flings his arm in her direction, only just missing her face as he spouts off some obscenities.
“You know her or not, I have a feeling you’re going to step in.”
Damn right I am.
As I approach from behind the man, the woman’s eyes float to me, her face contorting in
shock and then . . . gratefulness.
I get closer and closer trying to pinpoint where I know her from. That heart-shaped face, those mischievous eyes, her pretty lips. Ryan?
But her hair is brown.
I’m standing a few feet away when I interrupt the man and say, “Ryan?”
“Colby, I’m so glad you made it.” She scoots all the way out of the booth and saddles up next to me, wrapping her arm around my waist.
Slightly drunk and unsure of what’s happening, I put my arm around her and say, “Sorry I was late.”
“Late?” the guy asks, standing from the booth, the vein in his forehead popping in my direction. Christ, this guy is ready to fight. Thank God I have my guys a few feet away.
And just as I think of it, from the corner of my eye, I see Bent, Colt, and Rowdy step closer in case the guy decides to charge at me.
“I was trying to tell you for a while. I’m getting back together with my ex. I’m sorry.”
His eyebrows come together, his eyes narrowing. “Your ex? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. When did this start? Have you been cheating on me?” He moves a step forward, and I put my hand out to stop him. He swats it away, and that’s when all my boys step in, putting up a protective wall, towering over the fucking weasel.
In his no-nonsense voice, Bent says, “Take one more step toward her and see what happens.”
“Best you move on,” Colt adds with his long Texas drawl.
The douche eyes all of them, assessing their height and weight and realizes he’s easily not only outnumbered, but if he makes the wrong move, he’s going to get his ass handed to him.
Backing away, he waves his hand in the air, dismissing us. “Peace out, bitch,” he says, making his way out of the bar just as Ryan lets out a long exhale.
Bent turn towards us and says, “We’ll wait for you in the car and make sure the dickhead actually clears the area.”
“Thanks.” I nod and then turn to Ryan. “Your hair is brown.” It’s the first thing I say to her, the only thing I can think to say.
Not responding, she pulls me into a hug and holds on to me tightly. I feel her breasts press against my chest, her hair tickles underneath my chin, and her feminine scent floods me, making me feel a little uneasy . . . because I like it.
When she pulls away, she grips my biceps and says, “You just helped me out so much. I can’t tell you how thankful I am.”
“Uh yeah, not a problem.” I grip the back of my neck.
“Let me buy you a drink to thank you.”
“I’m actually on my way out.”
She bites her lip, which is painted in a bright pink. “Hmm.” She looks around and then says nervously, “Give me your number. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”
I reach into my pocket, pull out my phone and unlock it, then hand it to her. Smiling at me, she enters her phone number into my phone and then texts herself.
“There.” She hands me my phone. “Expect a text from me.”
“Come on, Flyer,” Colt says, leaning his head back in the bar.
I nod at him to let him know I’ll be right there. “Got to go. It was good seeing you.”
“Yeah, you too . . . Flyer.” She winks and takes off toward the door, her pert little ass swaying behind her.
I scratch the side of my jaw. That was weird. But I can’t get the curve of her smile out of my head.
Expect a text from me.
Why do I feel like I just stepped onto a ride I’m not fucking ready for?
Part Three
The Left Side of Perfect
Prologue
COLBY
A total whiteout.
Snow blankets the venue, pops of green from the pine trees poke through the freshly fallen snow, and a clear path has been shoveled that leads to the last walk I’ll ever make as a single man.
Coming up from behind me, Stryder claps me on back. “It looks cold as fuck out there.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, a wedding in the mountains during winter might not have been the best choice.” And it wasn’t her first choice either, but after everything we’ve been through, we didn’t want to wait until summer.
Not to mention I’m going on tour in a month and didn’t want to leave without making this official . . . without making her mine.
“I’m kind of wishing I opted for flannel under these pants.” He shakes his mess dress pants just as Hardie comes barreling into the groom suite.
He holds up a box and says, “Found them. Found the rings.” He pauses mid stride when he spots me.
“Excuse me?” I cock a brow at Stryder who is glaring death rays at Hardie.
“I mean . . .” Hardie starts to back away slowly. “I knew where they were all along. Stryder didn’t lose them.”
I turn to Stryder who spins in my direction with an easygoing look on his face. “Want a shot? I’ve got whiskey.”
I shake my head. “Nah, I’m good.”
Just as I’m about to sit, Bent, Colt, and Rowdy all come charging through the door, flasks in hand, and their caps on backward.
Great.
“The groom,” they cheer, as they bring me into a group hug, including Stryder and Hardie.
“We’re getting married,” Rowdy shouts.
At the same time, all the boys repeat him. “We’re getting married.” They begin to jump up and down, cheering like a bunch of asshats, but I don’t blame them.
Until that ring is on her finger and we’re sealing our future with a kiss, I’m not going to let out the pent-up breath I’ve been hanging on to for too damn long.
I push my way past my boys and sit in a smooth-as-silk leather chair, observing the men who’ve been by my side through this challenging journey, in awe at how I got to this point.
We’ve made it through the academy, ex-girlfriends, flight school, pregnancies, deployments, and every other factor you could think of that comes along with the military life. And some I never dreamed could happen.
If you told me eight years ago that I would be sitting here on my wedding day, Stryder married to the girl I once thought was my forever, Hardie a father to Joey’s baby, and all my boys still alive after the multiple tours we’ve been through, I would have thought you were crazy.
But we’re alive, living our damn lives to the fullest, and I’m an hour away from marrying my girl. How I got here, I would like to say I have no damn clue, but that’s not true.
I know exactly how I got here.
Through hard fucking work, through heartache, and through sheer luck.
“There is going to be some serious shrinkage out there,” Colt says, looking out the window. “Way to choose the coldest fucking day of the year to get married, man.”
I shrug, casting my eyes out toward the snow. An hour.
One more hour, and then I get to start the rest of my forever.
A forever I never expected to have, but one I’ll never take for granted.
Not this time.
Not ever.
Chapter Sixty-Three
COLBY
“May I have the rings?” Stryder turns toward me, hand extended, a goofy grin on his face. From the depths of my jacket pocket, I pull out the bands Stryder and Rory bought together.
Together.
Five years. Even though it’s been five years since I found out about Stryder and Rory being together, I still have an odd feeling inside me when I see them together. I’m not sure I’ll ever get past that. She was my first love, the girl I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. I was willing to give up everything for her, but she wasn’t willing to let me do that.
I realize I probably owe her a thank you because she was right. I belong in the sky, and even though I loved her more than anything, I would have probably resented I wasn’t doing what I resolved to do so many years before.
My job might be grueling and dangerous, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
“Here you go, man,” I say, handing Stryder the rings.
&nbs
p; When he asked me to be his best man, there was no way I’d say no. I knew from the beginning he needed me by his side. I’m his family. His ONLY family.
There isn’t one Sheppard at the wedding, not even his brothers. Stryder says they couldn’t get the time off to be here, but I call bullshit. He’s the black sheep of his family, no longer in the Air Force, only in the reserves, and living his fucking life with Rory, running a training facility here in the Springs that matches up athletes with individuals with disabilities. It’s really taken off, and they’ve made a name for themselves.
I stopped by the facility a few days ago and watched Stryder as he expertly trained the athletes, joking and pushing them to their full potential with grace and understanding. I’ve never seen him so happy, not even when we used to go jumping. It was as if the clouds parted and he truly found what he was supposed to be doing with his life. He took his Air Force training and Rory’s passion, and turned it into a place of solitude and fun where people like Bryan, Rory’s brother, can train and compete at a higher level without being judged or looked at as if they were less than other athletes. Their mission to provide high-endurance training for those with developmental disabilities is, in one word, amazing.
I’m proud of Stryder, and I know Gramps would be proud too.
Hands at my side—the military habits drilled into my every position—I watch as a small tear trickles down Rory’s face when she looks at Stryder after putting the ring on his finger.
She looks gorgeous today, absolutely stunning in a flowy dress with some kind of flower detail attached to the skirt. The flowers match the flower crown in her hair, and she looks like a Grecian goddess. Stryder is a lucky guy.
“Your love will experience its up and downs and it will be tested, but remember this: you are each other’s best friend. You are not only in love, but you truly like each other.”
The reverend pauses, and next to me, Bryan, Stryder’s other groomsman, cheers spontaneously, causing everyone including the bride and the groom to chuckle.
The Duets Page 50