“Really?” Ryan asks, looking relieved.
“Of course. In the midst of all these fighter pilots, we have to stick together.” She winks and then claps her hands together. “Okay, back to the food, we don’t want it getting cold.”
The guys shuffle past me along with Sage, leaving me briefly alone with Ryan. I sit next to her and hand her a water. Plastering a smile on my face, I say, “Wasn’t that nice?”
Leaning in, Ryan quickly reaches out and pinches my nipple. Legit gets a finger full and pinches the fuck out of the damn thing.
“Shit.” I swat her away and rub my pec. “What the hell, babe?”
She points her finger angrily at me. “No sex for a month.”
“What?” I protest. “I didn’t touch you—”
“No, you made a scene, which is way worse. I would have rather you bent me over the couch and started nailing me from behind instead.”
I scratch the back of my head. “Well fuck, if I knew that was an option, I would have gone with that approach.”
“I hate you.” There is a small smirk at the corner of her lip.
I swipe my arm around her waist and pull her in close, nuzzling her ear with my nose as I say, “Nah, you love me. Don’t even pretend you’re mad at me. I told you everything was okay.”
“That was embarrassing,” she mutters.
I kiss her cheek and say, “It was not, and at least you know you’re still loved. Everyone is happy for us.”
“I don’t know why. I would be bitter if I were in Sage’s shoes.”
“That’s because you love me more than she ever did. Of course you would be bitter.” I bring her plate to her lap from the coffee table. “Now eat up, you’re going to need the energy tonight when I fuck that sexy pussy of yours until you’re screaming my name for everyone in this house to hear.”
She tilts her head, giving me a little more access to her neck. “Just try to make me scream.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“It is.” She winks at me and turns back to her plate.
Challenge accepted.
* * *
“Babe, are you making me breakfast?”
Ryan turns around, spatula in hand, wearing one of my Air Force shirts, looking sexy as shit with her hair at her shoulders, and her face completely devoid of makeup. Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed the way she’s slowly worn less makeup around me. She won’t go anywhere like work or on a date without makeup, but if we have a day off, she won’t put any on. It’s refreshing. I fucking love it.
“I’m attempting to make eggs. I can’t promise they’re going to be good.”
I love this woman, down to my very soul, but fucking hell is she a terrible cook. She’s made me one meal and that was that. Fried chicken that turned out to be greasy, oil-soaked chicken and burnt broccoli. I’m not much of a cook myself, but at least I have a few staples under my belt. We eat out a lot. She’s also messy. She leaves her lingerie and clothes and her cosmetics everywhere. But she is good at doing the dishes, thank God. Let’s not forget her other beautiful attributes, though. She also gives amazing head, like blackout status. I swear to Christ, I see stars every time she sucks me into her hot mouth.
“Eggs are good. Do you have the burner on a lower heat?” She nods. “And you’re moving the eggs around?” She nods. “Then you’re doing good. Want me to grab the cheese?”
“That would be great. I’m trying to avoid burning these. I have to be able to make you something edible. I need to take cooking classes.”
I bring the cheese over to her and place my hands on her hips, kissing up her neck, her hair dancing against my bare chest.
“I kind of like you being a hot mess in the kitchen. It’s endearing.”
“So you would rather have burnt, gross food than me trying to learn to cook?”
“I want whatever keeps you here, naked but for my shirt, looking hot as fuck with a spatula in your hand.” I move my hands under the shirt and expose her bare ass. Round and tight, so fucking sexy.
“What do you think you’re doing?” She looks at me from over her shoulder. “You’re going to make me burn the eggs.”
“Spread your legs,” I say in a commanding voice.
She shakes her head. “That Air Force voice doesn’t work on me. Nice try.”
I move my hand down her crack and between her legs, forcing her to spread to fit my large hand.
“Spread farther, Ryan.”
She leans back against me, one hand on the counter as my fingers reach her front. “Colby,” she says but moans at the same time. “I don’t want to mess up the eggs.”
“And I want to taste this pussy. Who’s going to win?”
“I know who’s going to lose,” she says, reaching over to the burner and turning it off before spinning in my hold and taking her shirt off, leaving her naked and fine as fuck.
“Goddamn, Ryan.” I bend to my knees and drape one leg over my shoulder and then the other so her pussy is right against my face. Her hands grip the back of the counter, her head tilts, and I get right down to pleasuring her.
I spread her open and press my tongue against her clit, humming for a few heartbeats before flicking the little bundle of nerves. I glance at her and watch her back arch, thrusting her hips into my mouth and her tits into the air.
I reach up with one hand and move it across her tits, pinching her nipples and rolling them between my fingers.
“God, yes.” Her hips start to move against my tongue, and in the matter of seconds, she’s moaning loudly, my name falling off her tongue as she comes on my face, shuttering and pulsing. Seeing her come is one of the best sights ever, next to seeing her at peace in my arms.
She rides out her orgasm and when she’s done, she takes a deep breath before hopping off my shoulders and pushing me back on the floor, determination in her eyes. She glances at my hard-on, smiles, and sits backward on my chest, so I get a great view of her ass. Bending at the waist, she lowers the waistband of my boxer briefs and takes my cock in her mouth, moving one of her hands to my balls and the base of my cock. She rubs the underside of the root with her thumb, making me harder than before. God, this woman. Sexy as fuck.
Sucking hard, she focuses her mouth on the head of my cock, pumping me with one hand and rolling my balls with the other.
I grip her ass, feeling her slide ever so slightly on my chest, her arousal growing with every suck of my dick in her mouth. Fuck, I want to pull her backward so her wet pussy is over my mouth.
Squeezing hard and sucking at the same time, she attacks my dick with her hand and her mouth, causing me to once again see stars. Best fucking head ever.
I groan.
I shift beneath her.
Every last cell in my body focuses on the center where my balls tighten, my stomach drops, and I come so hard that my vision turns black and I’m dizzy. She’s pumping me so damn hard that for a second I think I blackout until she slows down and things come back into view.
I drape my arm over my eyes, completely spent from one orgasm. “Fuck, Ryan.”
She licks around my cock and then turns around so I can see her triumphant face. She lowers her mouth to my chest where she kisses it up and down. “I’m still turned on, Colby. I’m going to need you to take care of that.”
I raise an eyebrow at her and then smile. “Well then, sit on my face so I can tongue fuck you again, baby.”
* * *
The speed limits on base are infuriating. Twenty-five miles per hour at some parts, and there are no kids around anywhere. I get they don’t want dickheads speeding, but for fuck’s sake, this is torture.
And speeding isn’t an option. If you get a ticket on base, you’re looking at a world of hurt from your commanding officer, and I prefer not to have to deal with that.
My truck moves along slowly as my patience wears thin. After a long day at work, going through hours of briefing and debriefing and two hours in the jet, I want to be home and stretched out, Ryan o
n my side, curled in tightly.
I also want to forget about the killer news that was handed out to me today. I knew it was coming, I just didn’t think it was going to be so goddamn quick, and I have no clue how to handle it.
I’ve been re-stationed.
My prior PCS wasn’t bad because I went from Luke in Phoenix to Nellis near Las Vegas. Pretty easy. But this new assignment? Fuck, it’s going to change everything.
How the hell am I supposed to tell Ryan I’m leaving for Korea in three weeks?
I knew it would happen at some point, but when Bent said our orders were pushed up, I had a sickening feeling hit me in the stomach and a sense of foreboding overwhelm me.
I’m finally in a place in my personal life where I feel like everything is going right—the peace in my relationship with Ryan—and now I’m forced to mess with that.
What the hell am I supposed to say to Ryan? Hey, babe, I love you, and even though we’ve only been dating for a little bit, I want you to drop everything and move to Korea with me?
I know she loves me, but are we at that stage yet? The stage where we sacrifice our lives for each other? And when I say we, I mean her. I don’t have a choice in the matter. I’m committed to the Air Force, and when it comes to a military lifestyle, you don’t get an opinion.
After what seems like forever, I finally pull into my driveway, Ryan’s car parked on the side of the street, my heart racing, knowing I’m going to see her in a few seconds. I grab my duffle-bag and quickly make my way into the house where I see Ryan sitting on the couch, reading a book she told me Oprah said was the “must read” for the year.
She’s curled up in one of my shirts, tea at her side, and a blanket only covering her toes. She looks so fucking cuddle-able.
I shut the door and she pulls her head from her book, taking me in. And this is what I love the most about us. Coming home to Ryan. To those gorgeous, fuckable lips, the sparkle in her mesmerizing blue eyes, the mischief brewing in her incredible mind, and the most incredible body I want to get lost in. Coming home, knowing not only is she my best friend, but she’s my lover, the love of my life. Fuck, I can’t lose this. There has to be a way we can make this work. I know there is a way we can make this work.
“You’re home. I ordered Chinese. It should be here soon.” I sense sadness in her voice, like she’s masking it with a fake sense of happiness.
Does she know?
A little cautious, I say, “Thanks, baby.” I lean over the couch and place a kiss on her lips. “How’s your book?”
“It’s okay. Kind of wish there was less internal dialogue and more sex. The main characters just started to hold hands. It’s freaking torture. I want to scream for them to whip out the dick already.”
I chuckle and take a seat next to her on the couch. “Hey, can I talk to you about something?” Her face drops, and my throat tightens. I need to jump straight into this conversation. If I don’t, she’ll know something is up. Hell, it almost feels like something is up. The only thing I can think of is that maybe Balboa told Sage who maybe approached Ryan to ask if she was okay.
She eyes me suspiciously. “Why do I feel like you’re about to drop a bomb on me?”
Because I am.
I take her hand in mine and rub her knuckles, wanting to stay connected with her as I deliver this new information, wanting to keep her as calm as possible.
“So, obviously being in the military, I don’t get to make many decisions about my future, like when I get promoted, what I might fly, and where I might live.”
She raises an eyebrow at me. “Are you moving across the country?”
I wince. “Uh, more like across the world.”
“What?” Her eyes widen. Okay, she didn’t know.
“Before you start to freak out, it’s only for a year.” As if that really matters.
“Where, Colby?”
I take a deep breath and try to keep my face neutral. “Korea.”
“Korea?” she shouts, mouth falling open in shock. “Like . . . Korea, the country? Not some unknown small town in Georgia?”
“Yes, Ryan, the country.” Fuck, her eyes start bouncing back and forth, and her mind is no doubt whirling. “It’s time I was stationed overseas. I knew it was coming. I’ve been stateside for too long, and they want some experienced F-22 pilots over there. We were PCS-ed and leave in three weeks.”
“Wait, what? Three weeks?” She tries to pull away but I scoot closer.
“Believe me, I wish we had more time to get things arranged, but they’re in desperate need for us. I wish there was some good news I could give you, but unfortunately, when it comes to the military, when they tell you to move, you move.”
“But it’s Korea.” And prior to getting together with Ryan, this wouldn’t have bothered me. My soul purpose has been to protect and serve my country. But now, it’s like my heart is struggling to accept what it’s always known was my future. Assignments overseas. Life as an airman. I truly hadn’t had a clue what it would feel like to leave someone precious behind. And now I might find out.
“I know. Until you, Ryan, I’ve never truly understood what the facts of military life would do to my significant other.”
“Yeah . . .” she breathes out, avoiding all eye contact.
Knowing this is going to sound crazy, I take a deep breath and say, “You can come with me, Ryan.”
“Go with you?” She laughs nervously. “Go to Korea?”
“Yeah, go to Korea. The base is really nice. They make it really livable for families.”
“It’s Korea, Colby, across the world.”
I sigh and run my hand through my hair. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but I want you to think about it, because I want you there. I need you there.” Truer words I’ve never spoken. I need her with me.
She shakes her head and stands from the couch. “I don’t know, Colby. I’m barely surviving Vegas. I’m still struggling. I’m still considering moving back to the Springs—”
“What?” My brow pulls together. “What do you mean you’re thinking about moving back to Colorado? Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know,” she answers, her hand pressed to her head. But from the look in her eyes, she does know. There’s something she’s not telling me. “You make me feel good, Colby, but is it enough?”
“What the hell? Where is this coming from?” Color me confused, because I thought we were happy, but here she is, a few conversations away from moving from me.
She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. I mean, would you really want me to follow you to Korea? I offer nothing to the relationship. Would I be able to get a job? Or would I just be freeloading off you, unable to make you a damn meal for when you come home? What do you really see in me, Colby, that is worth anything?”
I know I caught her off guard by springing Korea on her, but she’s throwing me more off balance with this conversation. What does she offer me? How does she not see how happy she makes me, how fucking desperate I am to have her around me all the time? Last thing I knew, we were good, solid, in love, so where the hell is this coming from?
“You’re worth so much, Ryan.”
Disagreeing with me, she walks toward her purse, and takes her keys. “I can’t do this right now. I need to go.”
“Wait, hold the fuck on.” I step in front of the door before she can bolt, my anger starting to boil inside me. “You can’t just leave. You need to talk to me. This is a grown-up relationship, Ryan. We talk to each other, we work things out, and we find solutions. We don’t up and leave without a word. You need to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, because I can tell there is something you’re not telling me, and in order for this to work, you need to let me in.”
Looking away, she lets out a low breath. “It’s been a tough day, okay? My mom called me and said she was coming to visit tomorrow. I’m anxious and nervous about seeing her and then this new information . . . It’s all too much to handle
right now. I need some space.”
I know what a trigger is. I have the same reaction Ryan is having right now when anything even remotely reminds me of my stepdad. I can understand where she is coming from, and from what she’s told me, her mom is a huge trigger, one I don’t think I’m ready to take on, because I might lose my shit around her.
Trying not to take this personally and putting myself in Ryan’s shoes, I tamp down my anger and close the space between us, lifting her chin so she’s forced to look me in the eyes.
“I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way right now. If my stepdad were coming to visit, I would feel the same anxiety you are. I understand, baby. So if you want some space to work out your feelings, I’ll give you some space. But I don’t want you to drift too far away, okay? What I told you tonight was a shock, but what I said holds true. I want you with me.” I gently press a kiss across her lips. “I love you so goddamn much, Ryan, so please don’t let this news deter you from that. Okay?”
She nods, but due to the blank stare in her eyes, I have a heart-sinking feeling in my chest.
“Will you stay with me tonight? I’ll give you space, but will you sleep next to me? Eat the Chinese you ordered? I want to make sure you’re okay.” She looks away and I direct her eyes back to mine. “Please stay. I’ll give you all the space you need, please just stay with me.” Please don’t leave me. Show me we can conquer this.
She bites her bottom lip and when I think she’s about to tell me to move, she lightly nods her head and buries her body into mine. Relief washes over me as I wrap my arms around her.
Thank fuck.
Chapter One Hundred Nine
RYAN
My hands shake, my knee bounces up and down, and my stomach churns to the point that I feel like I’m going to throw up.
She’s going to be here any minute, and I’m terrified.
I spent hours getting ready this morning, making sure my eyebrows were shaped perfectly, my hair straight and smooth, no frizz, and my outfit classy and stylish. I don’t think I can take any criticism, not right now. I have too much going on in my head.
The Duets Page 89