months.”
“If you want something, take it.”
“Brynne, honey, none of your stuff would fit me.” “Some of my jewelry would.”
“That’s okay. I’d just have to explain to Mom and Dad where I
got it.”
“Tell them I gave it to you. Surely they wouldn’t have a
problem with that.”
“Yeah, then I’d have to tell them where you got expensive
jewelry.”
“Yeah, okay. So look, if you want to know, there is a gun in the
coffee table and one in the cabinet above the kitchen sink. They’re
loaded, so don’t play around, okay?”
“Why do I need to know that? Plan on abandoning me?” “Maybe I plan to attack you, and you’ll need to defend
yourself.”
“Um, okay.”
“I keep making stupid comments like that. I’m probably going
to scare you.”
“No, it’s...”
“Sorry Jess. I guess this is sort of new for me too.”
I put popcorn in the microwave while Jess flipped through the channels, trying to find something good to watch. I dumped it from the bag into a bowl and got us some pop to drink. And when I got into the living room, Jess was watching the news.
“Here.” I said, holding pop out to her.
“Thanks.” she said softly.
“You didn’t open the candy yet?”
“No.”
“What is wrong with you?” She’s all weird and passive, or
something.
“You didn’t hear from in there?”
“Microwave.” I said, shaking my head.
“Oh. So where...” She pulled her legs up on the sofa and
grabbed the bowl of popcorn. “...were you last night?” “Here.”
“Oh.”
“Jess,”
“No, it’s nothing.”
It’s nothing. Only she was watching the news. And now she’s acting weird. And she wanted to know where I was last night. I opened the coffee table and took out the gun and held it out to her.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“You’re scared of me.” I said. “Take it.”
“Brynne,”
“Take it! You think I could do something like that?” I know
what she saw on the news. “I told you, I don’t do that.” “Then you did hear?”
“No, but it’s in the newspaper. I’ve been trying all day to
convince myself that it wasn’t true.”
“Okay.” She took the gun from me and put it back into the coffee table. “I don’t think you could do something like that.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me down to the sofa. “Calm down, honey. I’m sorry I upset you.”
“You don’t even trust me!”
“Brynne,”
“Just go home. I thought we were friends.”
“We are. Stop it.”
“Well I don’t want someone in my house that thinks I’m just a
killer.”
“I’m sorry, Brynne. It’s just you’re the only vampire I know,
and...”
“I’m not a vampire!” “Shh. Okay, okay.”
She put her arms around me and held me for a while as I cried. This is so upside down. I’m the freak, I’m the scary monster, she should be the one crying and I should be trying to convince her that everything is okay.
“I just didn’t know what to think. I know you’re not a monster, honey. I know you’d never do that. I just was shocked at what I was seeing.”
“I should have never told you. I ruined everything! Now I have to leave,”
“No,”
“And I’m going to miss you. I’ve never had a friend like you, I never felt so close to anyone, and now it’s... I shouldn’t have said anything.” It's going to be the most painful thing I've ever done.
“Stop freaking out!” she shouted at me. She shoved me away from her, then grabbed my shoulders with her hands. “Stop it!”
She wrapped her arms around me again and held me for a while. She doesn’t deserve to have a freak for a best friend. She’s outgrowing me, anyway. At some point she’ll want friends that are more adult. At some point she’ll be an adult, and who wants a kid around all the time then?
“Are you okay now?” she asked. “You really are an emotional wreck today, aren’t you?”
“I’m scared.”
“I know.” she told me.
“No you don’t.”
“You don’t think I’m scared of losing my best friend? You
don’t think I’m scared that whoever is doing that to those people will make life hard for you?” “Okay. Okay.” I slipped away from her and got a tissue. “So you’re scared, too. Except you’re scared of me. And... and that really makes me...”
“No, honey,”
“It sucks to feel like I can’t even tell my best friend, because she’s scared now. And I’m sorry for what I am, Jess. You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that guy had killed me along with the rest of my family.”
“Stop, Brynne. Come on, just calm down. I’m sorry if I did something to make you feel bad. I’d never do that on purpose.”
“I just...” I shook my head and wiped my eyes. “And now... I mean there might be more like me. I... I have to go find out. I have to try to find them.”
“You can’t do that.”
“Well I have to. I can’t just let them keep killing people, Jessica.”
“Call the cops.”
“And tell them what? I’ll just go find who is doing this and talk to them. Maybe I can explain to them how to get by without killing people. Most people are reasonable, so maybe they are too.”
“Okay, well that sounds really naive.” she said angrily.
“I can at least try.”
“I’m going with you, then.”
“Yeah, like that’s going to happen.”
“I’m not letting you go alone.”
“I’ll be okay.”
“I don’t want you going alone.” she insisted.
“Well it doesn’t really matter, unless I can figure out a way to find them.”
“Just let it go. Eventually someone will take care of it, right? If there really are people trying to kill your kind then they’ll definitely see all the news coverage these monsters are getting.”
“Yeah, and that’ll lead them right to this part of the country.” I sat down next to her. “This sucks! Why can’t someone else be around to do this? I don’t want to do this.”
“Don’t.”
“I have to.”
“Well promise me you won’t do anything for a couple of days, okay? Just give it a couple more days so we can think about this and try to figure it out.” she pleaded.
“I’m not going anywhere until I have a better idea how to find them.”
“Good.” She picked up my doll, Jenna, and stuck her into my lap. “Now, you still want to watch movies?”
“I guess.” I pulled Jenna up and hugged her against me. Okay, so I’m a baby.
We watched movies for a couple of hours. After a while I was able to put my other concerns out of my mind enough to at least enjoy the movies and the snacks, and spending time with my best friend ever.
Then we decided to get some sleep. Jessica argued with me for a while about the sofa. She thought I should have it, it’s my house. We both wound up on a blanket in the floor, just to keep from arguing.
I woke up in the middle of the night and I could hear her breathing hard. I sat up and I could see her sitting on the sofa. She was holding the gun from the coffee table, and she looked upset.
“Jess.”
“Go back to sleep.” she said.
“What are you doing?” I turned the light on. “Are you okay?” “Yeah.” She looked down at the gun. “Oh, this isn’t because of
you.” she said. “But this place is kind of creepy. At least after
all I suddenly know.”
“I guess I get that.”
“Plus it’s not nearly as sound proof as you said. There’s a dog barking that is driving me insane. If I can hear it, they could hear my screams.” She gave a little smile.
“I was just joking about that. I mean it’s pretty good as far as sound proofing goes, but you can still hear stuff. There’s just enough sound deadening so I can sleep without hearing everyone in the neighborhood argue and... have their intimate moments.”
“Eww! I so did not want to think about that. So seriously, what is up with this dog?”
“You have really good ears for a normal person. That dog barks all the time. I’ve gotten used to it.” I sat next to her. “You want me to show you how to use that thing?”
“Um, yeah, sure.”
I took the gun from her and removed the bullets. Then I showed her how to cock it, how to aim, how to pull the trigger. I had her do it a couple of times, and I explained to her that it would feel and sound a lot different with bullets in it. That her best bet, if trying to shoot someone, is to aim for big parts, like the chest area, because you’re a lot less likely to miss than if you aim somewhere like the head. And all this I learned from watching television, because I’ve never fired a gun with any ammo in it.
Sunday, May 15 “I better get home. Mom and Dad will wonder why I haven’t returned from my vampire friend’s house.”
“I’m not a vampire!”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself so you can sleep, honey.”
“Hey, um Jess.” I grabbed her arm. She was already opening the front door. “I want you to have something.” I held a key up. “In case you ever... need anything.”
“Cool.” She grabbed the key. “Thanks Brynne.”
She was down the steps and out of sight before I could close the door. I just had a friend stay over. That’s the first time since I was ten, about a century and a half ago. I hope I can stay here a long time.
“Do you think we could go with her when she goes to college, Jenna?” I asked the doll. I flopped onto the sofa. “Do you think we could get by with that? I don’t know, though. I kind of worry that people would notice this college aged woman hanging out with a kid all the time. Maybe it wouldn’t seem weird, people have sisters and cousins and neighbors, but her college friends would tease her, probably. And they’d definitely notice I wasn’t getting older if they were close friends of hers and saw us together a lot.”
It’s not going to work. Only I really want it to. I’m so sick of being alone. I love my dolls, but they aren’t people. Jenna is the closest thing to a real friend I’ve ever had before now. If she were real, would she be jealous of Jessica?
I turned on the computer and started searching. There have been half a dozen attacks in the past few months. The only pattern that I see is that some take place in other towns around this area, then they are followed a couple of weeks later by one in Wichita. Always in bad neighborhoods, always on cloudy nights.
I went into the kitchen. Okay, so I’m not big on doing dishes. I mean I don’t let them just sit around filthy, but I tend to rinse them good and then just wash whatever I need. Not that I cook much, I almost always eat out. But now I have dirty pans and plates, because I made pancakes for Jess for breakfast. So I guess I’ll go clean. I hate cleaning.
What else am I going to do today? I hate Sundays. Jessica’s family likes to spend time with her, and I don’t begrudge them that, I just feel really alone. Sometimes they invite me over, but it seems like I’m intruding. Besides, Barney really does creep me out.
Monday, May 16 So we’re studying for finals in every class now. The past week we’ve been given tests and our last projects and papers. And our History teacher gave us all a note explaining our grade as of now and what she thinks we need to study more of before the final.
“You’re getting a D!” Jess said. “How do you get a D in history?”
“Yeah, laugh at me. Go ahead.”
It's after school, and we're headed to her house. She, of course, is getting an A in history. I really don’t understand that class at all. “I’m sorry, Brynne, it’s just that you were there for half of that stuff.”
“Well the stuff I know about didn’t happen quite the way the history books say, okay.”
“Such as?”
“Such as... I don’t know. Like there were still people with slaves when I was growing up, even after the civil war.”
“Are you kidding?”
“No, seriously. It was horrible. It was like some people just wouldn’t accept that the war was over and they lost.” I told her.
“But, didn’t you take this class like forty times already? How do you almost fail?”
“Look, okay, sometimes I have a hard time remembering stuff like that. It’s so boring, and I just don’t care much. You go to school for as long as I have and you see if you don’t get bored.”
We approached her house and I could see Barney sitting in their front yard. He was in a lawn chair, shirtless, and sleeping, I think.
“What is he doing?” “What? Who?” She looked around to see what I was looking at.
“Oh, sorry. You’re brother is asleep in the front yard.”
“You can see him from here? Wow. Nice.”
“I think he’s trying to get a tan, but he fell asleep. At least it looks like he’s asleep.”
“He’s probably trying to look good for you.” she teased.
“By getting skin cancer? That’s so attractive. Anyway, I guess he hasn’t noticed that I don’t really like the sun.” Or him.
“Okay, so like the other night, last night, Mom and Dad were talking about him while he was over at Ned’s house.” Ned is his best friend. Sort of. They both play online games together, I think. “They were talking about him being way too attentive to you when you’re around.”
“Seriously?”
“You do realize he’s completely entranced with you, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve sort of noticed that.” Don't really understand it, but I noticed it.
“He’s a freak. I can’t believe how gross that is.” she said. “Oh, honey, not that it’s gross for someone to think you’re attractive, you’re a very pretty girl, I just mean...”
“He’s way too old to be thinking about a little girl? Yeah, I sort of came to that conclusion months ago.”
“I’m really embarrassed to be related to him.”
“Eh, there’s a fifty-fifty chance in a few years he’ll turn out to be a good guy. I’ve seen it before.”
“I wish he’d get there quickly, then.” she said.
“I’m going to head to my place. I’d really rather not bump into him today.”
“Yeah. Oh, hey, did you hear? There was another attack kinda like the others. In Parsons.”
“There was?”
“Dad was talking about it at breakfast. It was in the paper.”
“This is going too far.” And now I really do need to do something about it. Innocent people are dying and nobody really knows the reason why other than me and Jessica.
“Isn’t there someone you could call? Like those people you say hunt your kind down? Just like give them a tip off about where these vamps... eternals, can be found.”
“Sure, and while I’m at it I’ll just turn myself in so they can slaughter me. Besides, I’m not convinced they mean to kill. Maybe they just don’t know better yet.” Keep telling yourself that, Brynne.
“You’re not doing anything stupid tonight, are you?”
“Do I ever do anything stupid?” I ask.
“Apparently in history class.”
“Ha ha.” I punched her arm. Maybe a little harder than I meant to. “Go wake your brother up before he turns into a lobster.”
“I think I’ll let him burn.”
“It’s your call.”
So if I turned them in I would be turning myself in, too. Like I told her. Not that I’m even sure how to contact the Venator immortuorom, or
if they really exist. If it comes to it, then I would do it. I can’t let them keep killing people. If I have to turn myself in and die along with them, so be it.
I have thought about ending my unnatural existence a few times before. I should not exist. I’m convinced of that. Whatever turn of events came about to create my kind, it should not have happened. And at times I’ve felt alone and guilty enough about what I’ve done that I thought of ending it all. But I’ve come to think maybe I’m here for a reason. Like maybe I can help people. I’m still trying to figure out how, but I’m working on it.
I spent the night looking for more details about the attack and the previous attacks. They’re awful. But I still think maybe the ones doing this just don’t know better.
I have to go. I have to try to find them. Even if I promised Jessica I wouldn’t. She’s going to be so upset with me. I can’t let them keep doing this, though. I’ll make it up to her.
I packed up a couple of things to take, mostly money and a debit card. Before I left, I got a box and put Jenna inside, then wrote a note to Jess telling her I was sorry and that I’d call in a couple of days, and please take care of Jenna for me, I’ll be back for her. I figured she knew how much that doll meant to me, so she’d know I was coming back if I left it with her.
I headed out around ten, dropping the box off on the steps of the Sloan’s house. If I run, I should be in Wichita early enough to find a place to rest before it gets too bright outside. It is nice to be able to run really fast for hours at a time. I’d give it up just to be a normal human again, though.
Tuesday, May 17 I spent most of the day sleeping. Late in the afternoon I went shopping and bought a
prepaid cell phone. I activated it, but there was no service for a long
time. Then I just went walking around in the neighborhoods where the
attacks seem to usually take place, hoping I might find the others like
myself. I took a break to call Jess after a while.
“Brynne?” Jessica asked. The phone only rang one time before she answered. It is so nice to hear her voice. I miss her.
“Sorry Jess.”
“I hoped it was you. Come home.”
“I have to do this.”
“It’s dangerous. Just come home.”
“I’ll be back in a couple of days.” I promised her.
Brynne, Non-Vampire (The Non-Vampire Series) Page 5